Comments on: Addiction as Learnt Behaviour

By: Matt

Matt — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:30:56 +0000

Hello I’m matt I want to give up drinking and have done for the past two days, the only problem is that I’m 23 and it is being completely controlled by my parents and this in my opinon is not working as I am not giving up on my own accord it’s all down to my parents which is great because they care however I think I need to do it independently because I feel like a child who can’t have his ‘toy’ which makes me crave it more, it also makes me feel imprisoned in their parenting. Has anyone got any help or ideas please, thank you

By: maggie

maggie — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:53:00 +0000

Ian, I understand that conundrum… over the years family and friends did everything with drinks available…any event, any place…however, over the years, I seem to be the only one who has too many…I’m also the only one who does not have children (read into that however you like, I’m certain it’s an important fact regarding the difference in drinking habits)…I drink when I get lonely. I drink when I get bored, depressed, feel great, it’s snowing, it’s sunny… I’ll have wine before starting a project to ‘loosen up’ and get creative juices flowing (no pun in intended)…Most times seems like i can handle just fine..most times… But more times I’ll get too drunk to remember anything..have spent much more money than was going to (sometimes I really feel the bar staff take advantage on someone not cognitive – over charge – but how would I know when I DON’T REMEMBER LEAVING. I’ve done the “where’s my car” three times! I’ve woken with bruises and scratches and worst of all SHAME. I’ve tried quitting countless on top countless times and now it’s time. I’m tired of embarrassing myself, becoming overdraft in my account, and living dangerously and negatively effecting those people most important to me. It’s a sad cycle – pathetic really- and one that is not going to continue. the madness will stop. Sounds good huh. My strategy will be to keep busy. Get involved with events that require my quick/sharp brain to function and where someone will be counting on me. Do the exercise/health thing too. I’ve started with notes around the house. “I quit smoking. I quit pot. I can quit alcohol.” I’ve also placed pictures of a brain, kidney, liver and heart around the house to constantly remind me of the damage drinking causes and placed near pictures of loved ones. It’s the holidays – ‘cheers’. Instead I’ll have N/A beer nearby and my new replacement favorite, club soda mixed with juice (any juice but cranberry juice is dry like wine…orange juice with club soda is awesome… ) I’m to go skiing during the holidays (prefect time for peppermint schnapps!!)…instead I’ll bring carbonated water flavored with mint!!!..and a box of Red Hots (candy) Wish me luck too….it’s time. We’re not getting any younger. “you’re born, you die…what do you really want to do in-between?” This planet and everyone on it – surely alcohol isn’t the ONLY satisfying thing to fill a void with.

By: Ian

Ian — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:59:31 +0000

I drink until I’m drunk at least 2 or 3 times a week. Usually cans of lager. It gives me confidence, self assurance, creativity and postpones any negative thought. Or at the very least, makes them more bearable for that particular moment in time. I simply cannot imagine a night out or holiday without alcohol, the thought of being surrounded by other revelers on a different level of consciousness scares me. I have relied too long on the alcohol completing my personality, and to this end, if I turn up to a party with friends sober, I feel I would be among strangers and the most boring, nervous wreck of the whole group. I wish I could be one of those people who could just go out for a couple of pints then leave it at that. As a 31 year old man I feel there may be time to change, I have watched my father go to the pub in the afternoon and then in the evening all my life, when he comes home he is no more drunk than he is sombre. Whereas I’ve watched my brother exploit drink and drugs until he is on the floor vomiting. I neither want to live as a 3 or 4 pint a day man or an out of control piss head. I realise that my behaviour is very much ‘learned’ and associated with situations and thought patterns. Nothing will replace the feeling of being slightly fucked up, or that mild euphoria that comes with finishing your first pint of many. The fact is I treat celebration and commiseration with the same level of treatment/mistreatment. The question is, is there a real substitute? Or will there be an empty void in your life, without the booze?

By: Sanjoe

Sanjoe — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 09:50:00 +0000

Hi Jennifer, just read your post and that could be me talking. I have decided to give up completely and I am going to start running more and entering races as a focus. Everything you said is my situation. I spent yesterday wiht my head down te toilet being sick and full of anxiety about what I had done or said.
, I hate that feeling and it doen’t matter who I go out with I always am the drun kest and the one everyone is talking about. I have embarrassed myself o many times that some friends don’t keep in touch anymore.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 10:56:40 +0000

Hi, I’m 33 and mother of 2. I’ve thought at various points in my life that I have a problem with alcohol and have had problems with drugs too. My Grandfather was an alcoholic and my Gran died of a heart attack through looking after him. My mum is a heavy drinker and smoker but in complete denial that there is a problem and believes that cause she works full time she doesnt have a problem. My step-father is a really heaver drinker and smoker and my parents collude with each other.
At every family thing I go to it is always about alcohol, whether its a 1st, 2nd, 3rd childs birthday party, a christening, a christmas night..anything.
I’m a nurse and know all about the negative impacts of drinking. I feel sometimes like there are 2 Jennifer’s, the one who works as a nurse, looks after her children and has a nice life. Then when I drink I dont know when to stop, If I’m being good and want a glass of wine I’ll just get the mini bottle but more often than not I buy the bottle and then once I have one glass I drink the bottle and then drink whatever is in my house. Or when on a night out I get totally drunk, much more than anyone else, put myself in risky situations, black out. Then it takes me days to recover and the next day I have the guilyt thoughts, anxiety, wont leave the house, cancel all plans and hide in my house. I feel I need to cut out alcohol completely as I dont know how to drink in moderation like other people can. I have these thoughts but its then when I go to something that I have such an urge to drink. I’ll take my car so I wont drink, then end up leaving it there cause always give in. I’ve come on here to hopefully find some help and support as I’m so sick of the pattern of my drinking.

By: Edith

Edith — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 13:36:49 +0000

I have regisgtered onn this site and have contacted board director but hve had no reply. My problem is that I need help in getting on to posting and replying to stuff. I got as far as the welcome, but didn’t know what to click on next.
Be patient please I am 72 years.

By: DonnaL

DonnaL — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 00:15:07 +0000

Hi Izzie, I too am in my fifties, can go without or only have a couple of drinks for periods of time – but when I drink in excess it is bad. I do wish I could control that but I think for me I have to stop completely because by the time I realize I drank too much it is the next day and the guilt and anxiety are too much for me.

By: Izzie

Izzie — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 11:38:50 +0000

I also wonder how you are doing – I recognise so well the language of when we feel that we really can drink less/none and feel better tomorrow. I liked how you put it. I can go days of not drinking, can often just have two or less glasses when I do drink, and then still, in my mid fifties, from time to time excess hugely more than once in a period of time, say two weeks. Then it’s unproblematic for agress – weeks, months. I’d just like now to integrate a moderation or abstinence as a real peaceful part of who I am.

By: Sonia

Sonia — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 17:38:11 +0000

Hi Elaine, I saw your post and wondered how things were going for you. I too often go a couple of days without wine and feel the benefits but never manage to go more than a couple of days before the need for a ‘nice glass of wine’ beckons me.

By: Penny

Penny — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 09:46:57 +0000

Writing this is the first step I am taking to gain control my drinking habit/addiction.

I ask myself why do I drink? Why do I drink too much? What am I going to do about it? I feel so much better when I do not drink. I sleep properly, the dark circles around my eyes lessen, I dont do stupid things and the anxiety reduces.

Why do I drink? Stress, a learned habit, to escape – and because everyone else in my circle drinks like fish. So, now its all written down I can start to address all these things as of right now. It isnt going to be easy – particularly because of the people I live with but by turning this whole affair into a problem – I can start to address it.