The Alcoholics Anonymous Alternative

AA NA meetingIs there an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous? Do the 12 steps really work? These are questions that most alcoholics will ask when they decide that they want to change.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) originated in Akron, Ohio in the 1930’s from religious individuals grouping together to solve their alcoholism. The 12 steps soon emerged as a formula for all addicts to follow if they were to stay sober.

From the very beginning, complete abstinence was seen as the only answer. Of course this does work for some people, but clearly not for everyone.

Figures for how effective the 12 step recovery process is are impossible to find. Estimates suggest only about 5% of people who attend meetings regularly stay sober for more than a year. Not much more than the placebo effect really.

However, AA and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) do develop networks of community support, which is undoubtedly very positive. The support given is from other addicts or alcoholics of course, not trained professionals. And by their very nature the meetings are public access, anyone can attend.

The main objection many people have to the philosophy is its rigidity, so anyone who hasn’t seen them before must be wondering, what are these 12 steps then? Here you are –

  1. “We… admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”
  2. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
  3. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
  4. “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
  5. “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
  6. “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
  7. “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
  8. “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
  9. “Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
  10. “Continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
  11. “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
  12. “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles.”

Any of you who are not particularly religious might be squirming a little right now.

The Higher Power issue is the biggest problem that people seem to have with Alcoholics Anonymous or NA.

Handing over responsibility for your problems and the solution of them, it doesn’t sit well with modern approaches to psychological self-help does it? SELF responsibility and empowerment are essential to good mental health.

“One of the things they (AA) tell you is you are powerless – you must submit, that’s stupid. Once you become sober, you realize you do have the power to quit.”

Strangely there’s not many references to alcohol in those 12 steps. Or indeed how to prevent yourself giving in to cravings. It seems like will-power, determination and faith are supposed to get you sober. That and some apologies of course.

Of course, there are different interpretations of these 12 steps, and many AA groups do advocate a more liberal approach, with the meetings themselves being seen as the higher power.

In my experience, people appreciate a more personalised view of their addiction and recovery, one in which each person’s background and personality are taken into account. The cognitive approach to addiction encourages the person to look at themselves and discover what they need to change, then helps them to make those changes in any sequence they choose. It provides strategies to understand the psychological mechanisms of your addiction.

The AA idea is to work through each of the steps with various written tasks. Should anyone relapse or have a drink at any point, they have to go back to step one and start again.

The alternative view suggests that abstinence is not the only option, for many people a healthier level of consumption is possible. We can help you to become the expert, so you are not dependent on either a group, or on your counsellor. You learn the skills to take control of your alcoholism.

The AA view is there is no cure for alcoholism or addiction, it is seen as a disease, which again slightly removes any personal responsibility from the equation – “I can’t help it, I’ve got a disease”. We view it more as a set of habitual patterns, cognitive and emotional automatic behaviours that can easily be un-learnt and replaced with something healthier.

So maybe there are alternatives to AA for alcoholics, ones with more flexibility and a more personal approach.

193 Responses to “The Alcoholics Anonymous Alternative”

  1. dirk says:


    For ten years, i drank thirty beers a day, sitting on my own, at home. Slowly but certainly my life was going down the tubes.

    At least fifty times, i tried to stop on my own. i got incredibly motivated, stopped, and typically after four days i did something i thought I earnt a reward for – a beer. three days later I would be at thirty beers again.

    I had my moment of confrontation with the situation, that I really had to stop!!! or go down the tubes. I had no choice but to act.

    I contacted AA with an Email on Saturday eve. Sunday morning I was contacted by someone. On Thursday I went to my first meeting.

    The miracle was, that my motivation not to drink just kept on burning in me. I’m sober for four years now, I ‘m sure I can stay sober without AA. But I have a responsibility to the other members and new people. I now am responsible for my group. This doesn’t mean at all I’m a group leader: i just took on responsibility.

    Higher power? I stayed motivated day after day, month after month, year after year, while I failed fifty times on my own; I ‘m not a biblical person but this i call a higher power.

    AA wasn’t started as a religious group: it was started by two desperate alcoholics who discovered that by mutual support they could stay sober, and it grew.

    AA has no leadership, all responsible functions rotate with a max function time of two to four years.

    We refuse all financial sponsorship.

    We refuse to get in the media.

    we respect anonimity. id Jeff says in the meetings he’s called josh, that’s fine. We have people in our group we know nothing bout but their first name for a few years, we don’t know where they live, don’t have a phone number,… That’s completely ok.

    I never had a sponsor and no one ever gave the slightest hint i should get one, but I gave intense support to two people; I wouldn’t call myself their sponsor.

    You have to really want to get off drinks; many people aren’t ready for that big step. Only you can decide that you’re an alcoholic and decide to stop drinking. AA can’t stop drinking for you. AA can support you in difficult moments, 7/7, 24/24, however. You’ll get phone numbers of other alcoholics. All you need to do is call before you drink. alas, very few people do that: if you want to drink, you drink.

    The twelve step program gives you a way, if you choose to follow it, to get your life on track again and fill in the time you were drinking with something meaningful.

    An addiction is for a lifetime; I know for sure, that if I drink just one beer, in two days I’ll drink thirty a day again. I know that myself, AA didn’t indoctrinate that into me. Why am I so sure about that? Because I’m an alcoholic.


  2. Alex Adieu says:

    I simply do the opposite in meetings. For instance, people demand I get a sponsor, I refuse and simply work the steps. They say the steps WILL NOT work without having a sponsor, I stay sober, they are lying. They say I MUST do a fourth step on white paper and black ink, I do it on yellow construction paper and blue ink, I stay sober, they are lying. They say I MUST do a fifth step with a sponsor, I go out of my way to NEVER do it with an AA member, I stay sober, they are lying. They lied because they claimed to follow the book, but these three points (and there are so many more)-“MUST” that isn’t in the book proves they don’t know what they are talking about. They claim to KNOW that if I work the steps and don’t follow their rules I WILL drink again despite doing the work, that is what they lied about. Claiming to KNOW what you don’t know is fundamentally dishonest. For instance, someone says “keep it simple STUPID” and I point out in a meeting how given that my alcoholism is OUTSIDE of my intelligence, I am powerless over my IQ as it was an accident of birth, I insult my intelligence to combat my pride to deflate my ego, but according to the book if I’m following a spiritual solution it is up to my higher power to fix my pride because I am POWERLESS over my pride-is my life unmanageable or is it not? That is merely masturbatory ego stroking. So many can’t handle that level of rigorous honesty. They cherry pick. They say that I’m taking things too far, but I’m not the one speaking in gibberish and half truths. They accuse me of wanting an easier softer way, but I’m not the one mindlessly following the herd going baaaaahhhhhh and spreading the same lies they do. The AA program is beautiful-if people follow the traditions/literature. When people start lying left and right, playing god making summands(demanded suggestions that are ALWAYS rooted in lies and half truths-you MUST get a sponsor for instance which implies the steps WILL NOT work without one and yet if I am outside of human aid, it is the steps-NOT having a sponsor-as the steps work with or without a sponsor). The irony is that the anti-AA movement upholds the Big Book more often than many AA members despite slandering it left and right. That is truly pathetic. Let’s all play the opposite game to take back AA from nonsensical fundamentalist religion where the book was handed down from Mount Killamenjaro in the land of Summandaria, Bill W was Jesus, Ebby Thatcher was John the Baptist, Dr. Bob was Simon Peter, Jack Trimpey was Judas Iscariot, and the Little Book of Rational Recovery was the Satanic Bible. If everyone simply plays the opposite game, all pushy arrogant people in AA lose their power to manipulate the rest of us as we see through the fog of lies and truly get back to rigorous honesty in deed AND word. The same people claim that we should take these principles into ALL of our affairs, yet would they make a summand at work? Somehow their la la land of AAism, rules of decent respectful social conduct don’t apply. Person acts pushy and obnoxious as “this is tough love” believing that they will be able to impact the newcomer as they WILL have an impact on said newcomer, then if the newcomer leaves the newcomer simply didn’t want it bad enough, they wash their hands of all responsibility for their arrogant attitude thereby contradicting themselves as there is no way their attitude chased the newcomer out. I could learn better rigorous honesty out of a cracker jack box or from a ouija board than someone that deluded. I believe there was something in the Big Book about that-Pg. 95 the top paragraph maybe? “Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.” So much for people who claim to know the book yet ignore so much of it because this type of thing is all over the place in the book. I still love AA none the less.

    • Graham T Harvey says:

      Alex, you are right in your assumption of power crazy types in AA. Please remember “they” as you mention so many times, have the sickness too. I pray for those who seek power over others and have put them on my step 10. I found complete release from all human endeavours by being taken through the scriptures by wonderfulkl mature Christians. Nowadays I still have a home group in AA but I am safe and protected by seeing where it all originated from. Saint Paul in his letter to the Romans tells us “when we were still powerless” which he meant before Christ. He details alcohol amongst many other demonics that mess up our heads. The Bible frees up all those who persu the truth. See everything form a universal stand point and all will be well. God bless you

  3. british female says:

    i have been trying to kick the bottle since i was 21 now 34 i was in detox at 21 whilst heavily pregnant with my first child drinking while pregnant disgusts me looking back but was so much hurt turmaoil in my life my parents at that point had washed there hands of me i was totally alone .the uk doesnt support people with alcohol issues i ve been called evrything from mentally unstable to a criminal social workers have commented i was not the biggest piss head they d ever met one took me out for lunch and bought me alcohol saying dont tell anyone my best friend reported her if your alcoholic you are societys rejects in my experience .aa will be my last hope first meeting this fri i cannot get medication of my gp the community alcohol team will only give me 5 sessions of therpy i ve even considered going to poland for the ant abuse implant as noy aval yet in uk i wish id never taken that first drink at 15 worst mistake of my life

  4. Davio says:

    After attending AA for years, I decided it was no longer for me. I experienced too much hypocracy about people saying how they now love and help others so much but the truth was that was very rare in my opinion. As an introvert yet having strong opinions, I was never included in the “fellowship” and always felt that I must be a carbon copy of a sponsor. I have not met very many mentally healthy people in AA yet there is the common belief that they are the nicest, healthiest people on the planet. So I left and it was tough at first because the AA circle was my life. But I learned many people who don’t drink have exciting lives and don’t go to AA. The thought of going to a meeting everynight like so many others was disturbing because there is so much out there to experience other than AA. Also – they are the most arrogant group of people I know masquerading in false humility.

  5. Presey says:

    Hi all, I just want to let you all know, I met an alcoholic woman years ago at RTC in Stockton,Ca, I saw her with my own eyes, dance off the floor at an AA dance we gathered at. There is a god, I am absolute in this, and I was and am quite sober, carry the message, peacexx

  6. Kevin D says:

    AA has worked for me, but I con’t think it is the be-all and end-all. I don’t claim to have done the steps properly, but I have not had a drink in just over 12 years. I go to meetings mainly for the identification, and to remind myself of two important facts about myself:

    1. For me, there is no cutting down. If I start drinking, then sooner or later I will ramp up to being a drunk again.
    2. If I go out for a meal on my own, and I have a single beer with it, I will not get home until about 4 in the morning, and I will have spent a lot of money on champagne in night clubs.

    As for the higher power stuff, everyone is free to choose their own. Let me tell you about mine: destiny. (Take it or leave it.) I believe that if I don’t drink, then I am destined to stay sober. By having destiny as my higher power, I am not trying to absolve myself of responsability. My own actions can be part of my destiny. I can do actions, but I cannot do outcomes. But my action of not drinking today does nudge destiny in the direction of staying sober.

  7. Alex Delarge says:

    I haven’t had a drink in 13 years. My life was a train wreck and I absolutely needed help to stop drinking. AA helped me because I wanted help. I found meetings which were not religiously based as the “higher power” was of one’s choosing. It could be God, a lampshade or whatever you needed to help you maintain your sobriety. I stopped going to meetings after about two years. This doesn’t mean that working on my life stopped. I disagreed with some of the philosophies regarding my life choices and who I would or would not maintain as friends, but I needed to be around people who I could share experiences and feelings regarding my exhaustive boozing. So I get really aggravated with anti-AA garbage.
    If you don’t want or need help regarding alcohol abuse than keep on drinking if you prefer. Drink yourself into the grave, but don’t carry others with you. I can no longer count the people I’ve watched screw themselves up while taking their family for the ride as well. Regardless of whether one goes to AA or finds some alternative, if you really want help you can find help. If you’re missing work, school, family events, etc. because you got wasted or you are getting wasted then something is amiss. Booze hounds are booze hounds and they tend destroy things around themselves with no exception.

  8. Sarah says:

    I need some help, I need questions answered by I feel foolish, I just want to get in with life without this feeling. I feel I’m a functioning alcoholic I just get in with life, but I certainly ain’t living if anyone can help I would be grateful, I don’t know where to go.

    • Paul McLaughlin says:

      How did you get on Sarah?
      Am curious because I looked for help a long time ago and the NHS did not work for me since I had a job. I cannot buy into the self-flagellation of AA.
      Tried it a few times and alas it does not work for me.
      Am struggling, but know I do not want to be like this. Am not a bad or horrible person, I just want to wake up sober.

    • bea says:

      you have an addiction – simple as -you cannot take it or leave it – give up alcohol the same way as smoking -you don’t need it!! it is harmful , please do NOT go to AA – they say alcoholism is a disease!! an “illness” if that were so, anyone who ever drank alcolhol would be ill – and the meetings are full of old red faced soaks who hate their mothers and play the “victim”

      Tobacco, sugar, alcohol and drugs are used by people who cannot handle or face difficult emotions in life – give up and grow up!!!

  9. Christina says:

    I am living with Cirrhosis of the liver but I have abstained for about 7 years now without using AA as a formulation for recovery. I do believe that there are many ways to stop drinking or to limit the amount you drink. There are always alternatives instead of a one treatment only scenario. Some people are socially inept to be around others, while some people blatantly cover up the real reason or actually don’t know the reason why they drink or do drugs. My conclusion is that not everyone is alike and some individuals need a stringent pattern of maintaining their sobriety, while others need to dig deep into themselves to find out where the drinking stemmed from. I also believe that one one one therapy is just as good as group AA therapy. It’s all in your own belief system…maybe not GOD but maybe within your own inner strength. There are also online AA meetings if you are not personable with people but can get the same benefit. Please look up different alternatives to your lifestyles and TRY it. You’ll never know whats right until you go different paths. It’s just like finding a friend…you have to go through many until you find the right one that meshes with you…

  10. John says:

    I wanted to add my 2 cents. I have a big problem with how AA and the government seem to be hand in hand. Many years ago I got a drunk driving ticket and told I had to go to AA meetings in court. I said before going and after that I was not an alcoholic. It did not matter to the court. At the first group meeting I was told I had to say my name and that I m an alcoholic, I refused. I was going to say something I did not believe to be true. I was given some days in county jail for failure to cooperate.
    This was back in the late 70’s and I never understood the connection that government bodies decide that you require treatment because you got caught drinking. Now days I think this has become a source of income and jobs for states, these programs that you are required to go to. My opinion is the connection is wrong and has the person labeled as something regardless of anything else.
    I have not been drunk for many years and on some very rare moments during these years I have had a drink or two and stop after this. Has been working very well for me.
    I got caught doing something against the law, being drunk and driving. I acknowledged that and I had to face the penalties for it. To me, this is no different than someone going to court for eating and drinking food while driving and causing a accident, reckless driving. Why does the court label these type of people and send them to a program.
    I m at a big fan of AA and not a fan of the connection that the law has the power to label people and put them into programs that are not for everyone.

  11. david says:

    JON-A P.S If you havent yet, check out
    The Orange website. It blewmy mind right out of my socks

  12. Jon says:

    i was interested to read your article; no one should say that more information is a bad thing.

    I am an alcoholic, and whenever i’ve taken a drink over the past several years it has almost always taken me to some very dark places; i behave in such a way that utterly violates my moral sense (which is strong, and i believe is strong in most people with this problem).

    I have great respect for anyone who can find any relief from this horrifying condition, however it’s done -if aa is involved or not. I went to aa for several years.

    However i no longer go to aa for 2 reasons: 1) that i have to believe in something that i just dont believe in. aaers, please dont say that it’s spiritual not religious, because it certainly is religion. and 2) that i know, and have seen with my own eyes, just how sick people can get after they’ve been a member of aa for any appreciable time.

    both the points above scare me, and that was why i left aa. I have been sober now for 2 years, and life has improved immeasurably.

    Absolute best of luck to anyone getting through this problem -using whatever means, aa or otherwise- I would not wish that type of pain on anyone.

    • david says:

      Right on, Jon. Ive been in AA 26 years sober, and I see all the faults, newcomers DO NOT stay. Am starting a secular,rational, knowledge based, sobriety coaching program in Jamaica. Enough of the “powerless” falsehood ( I quit 4 weeks before going to AA) Never bought the Higher Power deal. This is 2012, not 1935. There is no alternative to AA in Jamaica YET!!


  13. Amy says:

    Ok here’s the thing. I haven’t had a drink since 3/20/2012 and I have NEVER attended an aa meeting. Basically, I got myself in a little trouble and the lightbulb went on. I put myself into a 4 week outpatient program that met 3 days a week for 3 hours. After that I stepped down to once a week for 8 weeks. I did this because I wanted to avoid aa and knew I needed help. Most of the people in my sessions were in aa or na, but none of them preached about it. I openly said not for me and was respected to feel that way. What I needed was to dig down inside myself and find the cause of my drinking, just stopping wasn’t enough. You see for me alcohol was only the surface of a problem that needed to be addressed head-on. Simply abstaining from alcohol didn’t make my bad situation end. It made it more manageable and easier to see it clearly, but it was still there. All I’m saying is what works for one person won’t work for another. I am NOT powerless over anything except God. I love my life now and know in my heart I will never revert to my old ways. I learned the proper tools for my situation and my triggers that I needed in order to stay away from alcohol. Today I don’t feel like I gave up anything except shame, guilt, hangovers and empty calories. Good luck to anyone who needs help with addiction. Find the power in yourself to get help. It doesn’t matter if it’s aa or an alternative to aa. Take that first step – make tracks and don’t look back.

    • Jan says:

      I made the biggest mistake of my life walking into the rooms, a couple of nice people and a glory seeking sponser. I lost me and my identity and a bigger drinking problem than when I went in.

      • bea says:

        I am amazed at us humans to spot “fakes” and manipulation, even in our dark times. I drink, attended AA = full of red faced cigarette smoking old soaks blaming their mothers for everything””” then going on to say alcohol was a “disease, an illness””!!!! if this was the case why is everyone who drinks not ill~ alcohol is an addiction just like smoking, drugs and food – used to cover painful feelings and emotions

  14. Rob Turner says:

    To PENELOPE….A bottle of wine a day?Are you joking?That would not get rid of the ratling in the morning…not a bleeding clue

    • Teazy says:

      Rob, to some a bottle of wine a day is a heck of a lot, it is enough to cause permanent damage and can progress. Please dont condescend to ppl because your alcoholism has progressed to extremes. You dont say how much you drink but im guessing its quite a lot if you are ‘rattling’, get some help.

      • Clio says:

        I have to agree with Teazy. I am a binge drinker when I am at my worst. Ordinarily, I may not drink for a few nights, but then I could put away anything from 1 bottle of wine to 2 bottles of wine plus a bottle of whiskey or vodka. I am quite sure that there are others who drink much less or much more. The bottom line is that we each know when we have a problem with alcohol and that is what we have to address. OUR problem.

  15. David says:

    I also think there are no real alternatives to AA. It is a tool, nothing more. I am buddhist and agnostic, but I was able to define a higher power that doesn’t limit me or point me back to a judeo-christian faith that I no longer believe in. AA helps because of the fellowship of people that have the same problem as you. Of course, some people may judge and not be perfect people, that’s just the way people are… inherently flawed, but good. Most of the people I meet believe in god in the traditional sense, but i’ve never felt pressure to accept their way as the only way that works. There is a ton of wisdom and folk psychology in the program too. When they say it is a spiritual program, it means more spiritual than religious. And I think we need more spirituality in this world than religion.

  16. James says:

    Having attended hundreds if not a few thousand meetings I can attest to AA’s dismal sucess rate. The biggest mistake most people make when entering the halls of AA is making it an endall to their abuse problem. They turn it into a religion which it was not intended. They turn it into rigid dogma with no deviation from the path set out in the 12 Steps. And many would ask, “Why do I attend meetings then?” The answers are varied. First of all, about 5 percent do manage to maintain sobriety, and that 5 percent has something valid to share, as do the other 95 percent. I can learn from the sucesses of those it has helped, as well as from the failures from those it has not. I tend to listen more than speak, because listening is a rare commodity and totally undervalued. What I’ve found it is a healthy formula for living, but not a cure for something that isn’t a disease to begin with. It is merely a tool. The whole treatment industry and AA are both guilty of not opening their eyes to the reality of the failure rate. I can’t propose an answer and I can certainly see the truth. To me, it comes down to personal choices I make in my life. Maybe the higher power works, maybe it doesn’t but closing our minds to alternative methods to a problem that has plagued society since the dawn of mankind, is foolish. Let me put it this way, AA is filled with those that still believe the world is flat, and those who believe it is round. To label it with a sweeping condemnation is foolhearty, as is it to believe it is the only solution to the problem. This comes from someone who has maintained 8 years of sobriety without doing the 12 steps and attaining a sponsor. But I do attend meetings and keep the best and throw away the rest. Keep your minds open and realize it ultimately comes down to what YOU decide.

  17. fintan michael says:

    not another alcoholic with a problem with the “god thing”. listen first of all it is a god of your understanding, and secondly if you are an atheist so be it believe in the power of the group, and have sufficient tolerance for those who do believe in a god. intolerance is a symptom of the disease and learning to accept that others have the right to believe in a god of their understanding is part of ones rehabilitation. now that seemed to be good enough for the former vice president of the american atheist society and he died sober.

  18. George says:

    I seems that most of the proponents of AA as a solution to alcoholism keep missing the most important piece of information which is verified by AA itself. The real, verified and published fact is that teh recovery rate for alcoholics using AA is only 5% of all who join and participate in AA.

    This was originally published from an internal survey by a Dr. Vaillant who was and maybe still is a member of AA highest board. It was verified by the Harvard School of Medicine who compared those results to the spontaneoud recovery rate of alcoholics in the general population using no other help but themselves. This rate is also 5%. So in actual fact you can say that the recovery rate of alcoholics using AA is in reality 0% once taking the spontaneous recovery rate into account.

    Claiming anything else is misleading. It would be like a pharmaceutical company claiming its medication has a cure rate of 50% for a particular disorder in which the spontaneous cure rate is also 50%. You can’t have it both ways.

    I have used both AA and CBT to deal with my alcohol addiction. I got so depressed in AA after being told that unless I followed the program 100% I was doomed to fail. I tried my best and to the best of my ability I finished all 12 steps, had a sponsor and attended meeting regularly. I absolutely did everything asked of me except accepting God into my life. I had a higher power represented by my support group and family but after 3 years I relapsed.

    I was told that I didn’t follow the program 100% obviously or I wouldn’t have relapsed. Thats very faulty and dangerous reasoning as it means that following this logic that AA can actually claim a recovery rate of 100% for those who fit into the class of those who follow the program 100% if the proof of this is that you remain sober for the rest of your life. “Living happy, joyous and free!”

    I now belong to a secular recovery peer support group called LifeRing and it is keeping me sober and I feel normal, natural and my real self without pretending to be something I am not.

  19. Jack says:

    To all of us that have addictions;

    AA and NA has helped a lot of us to quit for a while. It has helped some for a very long time. What it has not taught many is that their higher power is them. We created our addictions, in the end we are the only one’s that can end them. We are the only one’s that can find our own internal strength and love so that we can bring happiness and love to ourselves and all people we meet even if it’s just for a moment sometimes for those we meet. I have been to many AA and NA meetings in the past and the one common emotion I have noticed was sadness and a belief that their higher power was going to not save them.
    It is totally up to you to quit drinking by discovering your problems and greatness and moving on in a positive manner in your great life ahead.

  20. Cara says:

    Bernard, on the flip side, would you tell a sex addict that they can never have sex again?

    • alan says:

      Well cara i guess if sex is destroying someones life like alcoholism destroyed mine it would probanly be a good idea to stop!

    • Isla says:

      I can appreciate a little bit of what each person has posted. It is Cara’s comment that prompted me to post. You need to better understand what sex addiction is. Healthy intimate relationships are not to be avoided, it’s the unhealthy actions that have contributed to the addict’s demise that need to stop. I agree that some people must stop alcohol completely yet others can decrease their use once they have taken steps to identify their underlying issues that caused them to seek refuge in alcohol. Insert “chocolate, food, nicotine, caffeine, sex, exercise, food avoidance, intimacy avoidance” and such-in place of alcohol. Each of these may be used by people who have the balance (metabolic/emotional etc…) to handle them. Other people are genetically unable to use substances due to their chemistry/genetics etc… Alcohol isn’t necessary for a balanced life with greater chances of happiness per se. Healthy intimacy and physical contact are medically proven to survive (infants) and thrive. Sex is good. Sex addiction is not.

  21. Nitesh Ghaley says:

    Hey Frens Recovering Poly Nitesh
    Just Finished My treatment and going back to my home town but i m afraid to face the main stream so any of my recovering fellowships would like to help me please leave your message in my facebook user name is nitesh manger ghaley swearly need yours help

  22. bernard armagh aa says:

    im have to apologize from the start,because im am in stitches laughing at your aa alternative article,are you interested in helping people with alcohol problems,im a member of aa,why would you put down a fellowship that has saved many a persons life and is trying to help people who have a drink problem or even people who think they have a problem.i would not put down your method of trying to help people in this area,i definitely would not use lies against you and alot of information on statistics that cant be true because surveys cant be taken on aa,firstly you say AA was formed in the 1930 by religious individuals grouping together,im sorry my good friend,it was formed by one drunk sharing with another,which then became a group of drunks staying off drink one day at a time, sharing with another that formed AA,note i havent mentioned religious,the 12 steps you called a formula is yet another lie,the 12 steps are but 12 suggestions,plus they are only to deal with alcohol although other groups have taken them and use them,i ask you why would any other group take them if some good wasnt obvious,next how does a im sure im dealing with someone with a higher education than myself,i havent a thing in education to my name,how do you get an estimate if you dont do a survey or something to that effect which cant be done on AA,another untruth,next in line is addiction,you would not agree for the person that is addicted to totally stay away from what they are addicted to,example would you tell a smoker take a couple in the morning and your cured,or the heroin addict take 3 shots a week and we will make that do you,and then we have in your article you state how could AA be anonymous,when they mention there names,i would say that you know as well as i do that you only state your first name,are you claiming that people are psychic in AA that they automatically know there surname,abit childish of you there i think,then we have the cheap slogans remark,go to any psychologist/psychairtrist/doctor/and ask them about the slogans,i would say you live by some of them yourself,if you cant agree with me that 90 percent of the slogans are used by most people in life you are just clearly telling more lies to promote your article,lets take a few,first things first,is it not right to deal with things that are of importance first than things like washing the car second,simple isnt it,take it easy,you wont get much done or solved with your head in a mess,simple again slow down take it easy,another think,think,think,is it not better taking a wee step back and think before jumping in head first,simple isnt it,i could go on,men and women through the ages have been using these slogans to good effect,you call it cheap,next we have the word powerless,are you saying that a person has power over his addiction,i could go on for hours on that one,AA you say has a view that there is no cure for the disease of alcoholism,yes i said disease,but total abstinence,i can only speak on alcohol,that is not just the view of AA,that view is also supported by the WHO and the AHO,im sure you know who these organisations are,just in caes some readers dont,if this is published in your site,which i dont think it will,WHO is the World Health Organisation and AHO is American Health Organisation,who both now recognise alcoholism as a disease,and finally nobody in AA is compelled to do or believe in anything,there are no rules,if a person wants to become a member of AA it is the person themselves say they are a member when ever they wish,is all they want is a desire to stop drinking and they call themselves a member,AA is not for everyone but AA doesnt tell you that you do yourself,many come and go,many stay,it is not a religious cult as you seem to portray,there is many an atheist and agnostic in AA and are happy being off alcohol,one more thing,and one i would be sure you know very well that all addictions are in and around 5-10% physical addiction and the other 90% or so mental addiction,that would obviously explain why alcohol is mentioned only once in the 12 steps,thank you for letting me have my say,i wouldnt think it will appear on your site,but i hope it does,please if your trying to help people with addictions dont be knocking other people like AA for doing the same work,i can only say from my own experience it saved my life and put smiles back on my kids faces,i tried everything else and found that AA for me,plus i have seen others taken from the hell of alcoholism to living a happy fufilling life,i truly hope that yours works too.i will finish on this, it is the person themselvesthat decide if AA is for them,no one else……bernard c armagh

    • Paul says:

      Bernard I ask you one thing, when you get out of bed in the morning do you choose to do get out or does your higher power do it for you you?
      Because if you do then life is down to you to choose and have the power to change your own life.
      If however your higher power chooses then your higher power also chose for you to drink for the amount of time you drank also!
      Aa saved my mothers life because she needed faith in something other that herself because she stopped beliving in herself and never regained that!
      I am an alcoholic of your sort Bernard however I have regained the belief that I can and wi ll continue to be sober!
      I believe aa WILL help some people, I cannot argue the information in aa is good however the way in which it is taught needs an overhaul. 2 + 2 Will always be four but it was beaten into children in the 1930’s! We teach children differently today even than ten years ago. Someone in aa once said to me if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, would you put a cartwheel on a Ferrari?
      The original article mentioned a more “personal” approach, we have more individuals today than the 1930’s I would love to see that aa considers that maybe if it where to ever look at the possibility of “updating” (by no means changing) that maybe just maybe it could hit way way more of a % of people!
      Also have a look at an nlp approach, it’s just another idea, the more irons in the fire the better one is no better or worse than another, just different.
      Anyone who has found this site is clearly aware they have a problem now you have to find ANY WAY POSSIBLE AT ALL TO STAY SOBER! Aa will help some of you so try it, try nlp try cbt try anything at all!

      • Penelope says:

        I agree an overhaul is needed.
        I stopped drinking 50 days ago.
        My drinking was a bottle of wine a day for years and I drank on my own.
        Anxiety and panic kicked in last September and in was severe.
        Drinking stopped being fun and much of my drinking was to take the edge of my memories from hard core childhood memories and stress.
        I went an AA meeting on the 11th of June 2012 after my doc provided me with an alcohol worker who kept cancelling appointments.
        I feel good and love being sober = no hangovers.
        Greatest thing is I am living my life fully and it is exciting.
        I am being told I must do the steps or I will fail/relapse – I am not in that head space.
        Guess I may be annoying in AA as am positive and having fun.
        I went to a meeting last Monday and heard one guy say my name is and I am an alcoholic = overhaul needed = he has not had a drink for four years and claimed he was born an alcoholic and will die an alcoholic = guess if that works for him to not drink then fine. Doom and gloom in AA but some laughter also and have met a couple of positive people being two = same as life I say.
        I do not agree with repeating I Am An Alcoholic so if I have ever spoke I just say my Name Is!!! I do beleive if we affirm something then it is true. So I have a good one I am a money magnet!!!
        I know it is possible to make a choice in life and go with it and have brought this up in AA.
        I also believe in giving one self a choice then we can get our heads around things.
        If I want to buy a bottle of wine and have a hangover I can however I do not wish to so I remain powerful within myself.
        I think an AA overhaul would bring more people in but gald I went as it got me to this point today listening made me know that not dealing with my consumption was gonna lead to one unhappy lady in the coming months and years.
        Enjoying being alcohol free x

  23. Andy Davies says:

    Whether people like it or not, AA works for me. I couldn’t give two hoots what works for others. I was on the grim reapers things to do list, I shook hands with the devil. I don’t believe in some distant deity in the sky, i’m more inclined to subscribe to Lennons, “No hell below us, above us only sky” sentiments. But I do believe in a power greater than me, I have found an inner strength that I was previously unaware of, so have many of my friends. The only difference is attributing the source. So, do what you must…..but don’t put off others, AA works………..end of story

    Keep the faith

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