The Alcoholics Anonymous Alternative
Is there an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous? Do the 12 steps really work? These are questions that most alcoholics will ask when they decide that they want to change.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) originated in Akron, Ohio in the 1930′s from religious individuals grouping together to solve their alcoholism. The 12 steps soon emerged as a formula for all addicts to follow if they were to stay sober.
From the very beginning, complete abstinence was seen as the only answer. Of course this does work for some people, but clearly not for everyone.
Figures for how effective the 12 step recovery process is are impossible to find. Estimates suggest only about 5% of people who attend meetings regularly stay sober for more than a year. Not much more than the placebo effect really.
However, AA and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) do develop networks of community support, which is undoubtedly very positive. The support given is from other addicts or alcoholics of course, not trained professionals. And by their very nature the meetings are public access, anyone can attend, so they are clearly not anonymous (especially when you are required to state your name).
The main objection many people have to the philosophy is its rigidity, and there are references to relinquishing personal responsibility. The reams of cheap slogans don’t help much either.
Ok, so anyone who hasn’t seen them before must be wondering, what are these 12 steps then? Here you are –
- “We… admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”
- “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
- “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
- “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
- “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
- “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
- “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
- “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
- “Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
- “Continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
- “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
- “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles.”
Any of you who are not particularly religious might be squirming a little right now.
The Higher Power issue is the biggest problem that people seem to have with Alcoholics Anonymous or NA.
Handing over responsibility for your problems and the solution of them, it doesn’t sit well with modern approaches to psychological self-help does it? SELF responsibility and empowerment are essential to good mental health.
“One of the things they (AA) tell you is you are powerless – you must submit, that’s stupid. Once you become sober, you realize you do have the power to quit.”
Strangely there’s not many references to alcohol in those 12 steps. Or indeed how to prevent yourself giving in to cravings. It seems like will-power, determination and faith are supposed to get you sober. That and some apologies of course.
Of course, there are different interpretations of these 12 steps, and many AA groups do advocate a more liberal approach, with the meetings themselves being seen as the higher power.
In my experience, people appreciate a more personalised view of their addiction and recovery, one in which each person’s background and personality are taken into account. The cognitive approach to addiction encourages the person to look at themselves and discover what they need to change, then helps them to make those changes in any sequence they choose. It provides strategies to understand the psychological mechanisms of your addiction.
The AA idea is to work through each of the steps with various written tasks. Should anyone relapse or have a drink at any point, they have to go back to step one and start again (snakes & ladders anyone?).
The alternative view suggests that abstinence is not the only option, for many people a healthier level of consumption is possible. We can help you to become the expert, so you are not dependent on either a group, or on your counsellor. You learn the skills to take control of your alcoholism.
The AA view is there is no cure for alcoholism or addiction, it is seen as a disease, which again slightly removes any personal responsibility from the equation – “I can’t help it, I’ve got a disease”. We view it more as a set of habitual patterns, cognitive and emotional automatic behaviours that can easily be un-learnt and replaced with something healthier.
So maybe there are alternatives to AA for alcoholics, ones with more flexibility and a more personal approach.
Briefly, the greatest problem with the article is the author’s unfamiliarity with A.A. History, roots, and sources. The statements that suggest A.A. is a monolithic entity that rests on “abstinence,” relies on some “higher power,” and doesn’t believe in cure illustrates how devoid the article is as to accurate information about the original A.A., the fellowship today, and the changes that took place when Bill Wilson fashioned a life-changing program in the Big Book in 1939 that was far different from the original Akron program. In no case is “abstinence” the only factor. In no case can it be said that A.A. does not contain tens of thousands of Christians who have no truck with an “higher power” that some call a rock, a lightbulb, or Santa Claus. They rely on the power of God that follows salvatgion. Finally, the author seems not to know that every single early A.A. proclaimed that he was cured by the power of God. The “no cure” idea originated with a lay therapist who proved his point by dying drunk without relying on the power of God in his work and life. See Dick B., Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous; The Conversion of Bill W.; The Good Book and the Big Book: A.A.’s Roots in the Bible; Real Twelve Step Fellowship History; Cured!Proven Help for Alcoholics and Addicts; and When Early AAs Were Cured and Why http://www.dickb.com/titles.shtml. Respectfully, Dick B.
I would like to say that Dick is correct saying the author of this article is devoid of any A.A. history knowledge. To say that we were religious individuals grouping together alone is incorrect. We all choose a God of our understanding, and there are even agnostics and atheists in our fellowship. All we ask is that someone just be willing to believe in a power greater than themselves. That power can be anything that is acceptable to the individual. So please do your history before giving people the idea that this is a religious program.In the forward to the second edition it first states there that,”Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organization.”Please when you miss quote or give your own bias opinion without the right information you are ruining the chances of someone maybe finding a place where they can get help to save their life. I like tens of thousands did not even want to hear the word God when coming through the doors of A.A. Please state facts. We do not claim either that we are the only source for sobriety. thank you. Ben S. and thanks Dick B.
I find alcoholism to be a three pronged illness – physical, mental and spiritual. AA has been the key that has unlocked the door to my sickened soul (Steps 1-3). But it has been up to me, to push open that door and walk in (Steps 4-9). This process of cleaning up my past has put me in the picture, whereby I see my role in all my previous life drama’s. I now feel that I own my past. The compulsion to drink has been removed, and as stated in the Big Book, I get a daily reprieve contingent on my maintenance of my spiritual condition (Steps 10-12). Sound easy? Well it aint!
I find it curious that people still cannot decipher the difference between a spiritual program for living and religion. Furthermore the ridiculing of AA’s disease concept of alcoholism, suggesting that this is a scape goating or shirking of personal responsibilty. I have found that getting sober and working the Steps towards emotional sobriety to have been the most difficult and challenging experience of my life so far. However, also the most rewarding! I wish it were as easy as having God come down from the heavens and make my life instantly awesome. I think that such interpretations of AA’s 12 Step program of recovery (and living a spiritual life in general) to be quite amusing.
AA certainly hasn’t worked long term for me. Long story short, I desperately wanted to stop drinking. I was also in a abusive marriage. I have worked the 12 steps and did stay sober for 5 months straight, then began to drink on occation. AA made me feel so brainwashed and guilty for this, I logically, I knew something was wrong with this picture. Here are some personal issues I had with AA:
1. Having to have a sponsor and dicuss every aspect of life I WAS EVEN TOLD FOR MY SON AND I TO STAY IN AN ABBUSIVE MARRIAGE BC I HADN’T BEEN SOBER A YEAR YET!
2. Being constantly shamed,blamed, and guilted for all that is wrong with my life. Everything ties into my “character defects” or my not “accepting” situations.
3. The longer I attened meetings and the deeper I got into steps, the more hopeless I felt. I was not working on anything that would make my life worth living, merely hashing out problems around tables, and reading the big book as if it were a bible.
A lot of people at AA meetings are still sick people. People who are truly suffering from mental health issues that are being unaddressed. Addiction is an isolating,depressing illness. Especially the clubs seem to be breeding grounds for people to suddenly fit in, feel not alone, but still suffer. When you are suffering it was always said that it is of character defects, etc. Going to therapists, taking meds, working on having life goals,is frowned upon.
I don’t know, trying to move away from AA, I feel still affected by this brainwashing and would like to move away from it.
AA does not say it is the only way. What AA does say is that it works which it does -Just for Today – for me and that is good enough
Sobriety is more than not using alcohol or other mind altering substance it is about peace of mind and my ability to live my life to the full which is what my 12 Step Programme of Recovery and the Fellowship of AA gives me today.
My brain needed washing so if that is what it took then so be it – I am able to use it today – if others find another way which works for them that is good, though when that other way is focussed on negatives – I sense Denial
One can really tell the AA memebrs who are commenting here, their approaches are so similar-
ie any critisism of ‘AA’ is ‘denial’.
‘Give it 3 weeks and you can have yur misery back’- give it 3 weeks and you will be fearmongered into getting a sponsor and doing the steps… being told that otherwise you will face ‘jails, institutions and death’.
You might also get used as a free taxi or even get 13th stepped!
You will certainly be told what to do about yr job, relationship, etc… and btw you have to listen because you can’t trust your own thinking.
Any independant thought is ‘your diease talking.’
Dont get me wrong, there are good people in AA doing good things. But ‘my brain needed washing’? Come on…
There is NO excuse for the brainwashing I have seen in AA and experienced.
You can always tell someone who has been brainwashed, becasue they defend their programmed viewpoint by attcking/dismissing their critics rather than rationally defending their own view.
John- how do you rationally defend this lady being told to stay in an abusive relationship. Or are you just gonna throw another one of those pre-packed slogans at me?
I am alcoholic desperately wanting help to stop drinking, I have only admitted this to loved ones in the last couple of days.
I have thought about attending an AA meeting (I even called and got some advice), my boyfriend even went down to the local meeting to find out more, he went because I couldnt face it, he went because he is desperate to help me.
I have read all the leaflets he came back with and if I can pluck up the courage and attend a meeting. Reading some of the negative comments above have dented that courage and now Im not sure what to do.
Claire, I am exactly the same, contact me for a chat if you can x
I too have seen the shortfalls of AA . I Believe that alcoholism is an addiction and not a disease . I am also horrified at the prospect of having to attend meetings for the rest of my life . People tend to be over happy or very depressing to listen too . Sometimes the meetings drive me to drink.
Being an atheist doesn’t bode well either .
However as soon as I look for an alternative to AA somebody always asks for the bank details .
The question about choice over drinking is a tricky one because most addicts truly feel helpless in their addiction . At least AA is there to help …………….. Where is the non profit alternative ?
You could join the free forum on this site – there’s plenty of support and advice without any of the AA stuff.
Hi – I saw Clare’s post and I am in the same situation – I have been denying for years that I have a problem with alcohol, but after a weekend of emotional happenings, I really dont know what to do now ! I want to get back to normal life but cannot imagine an evening without a bottle of red wine !!!!
My problem is with meetings. There are hundreds of AA meetings in big Cities each week. In London there are over 600. Recently I had an extended holiday in Dumfriesshire Scotland and found approximately 6 meetings a week or less. Dumfriesshire is a rural county, of course, with a small population compared to London ; 150,000 to 7.5 million. However, it is perhaps 8 times larger than London at a rough guess. I stayed where it was 20 miles to the nearest meeting which was once a week. My point is that i know long term sober members who swear that they need at least 4 meetings a week to maintain emotional sobriety how could they do it in rural parts of the world ? I’m sure in America and Australia you could travel hundreds of miles to get to a meeting. Have AA members in big Cities become selfish or have they become addicted to meetings ? I live in London and the emphasis placed on attending meetings detracts from finding deep healing and God which is what you need to lead a sober life. AA has become a giant speaking factory and those who love to speak run the meetings. AA is definitely biased in favour of meetings and speaking as opposed to contemplation and silence. God can be found in either.
I think AA would be better off without so many meetings.
Joe
Congratulations, Joe. You have discerned much about A.A And here are a couple of helpful points: (1) Early A.A. founded in Akron, Ohio on June 10, 1935 had a very simple program that is actually published in one piece of A.A. literature. There were only five components: (a) Abstaining from liquor for good. (b) Surrendering to God absolutely. (c) Eliminating sinful conduct. (d) Growing through Bible study, prayer, seeking God’s guidance, and reading helpful religious literature. (e) Helping others get straightened out. See Dick B., When Early AAs Were Cured and Why. (2) In 1939, Bill Wilson fashioned a different program in his Big Book based primarily on the teachings of Rev. Samuel M. Shoemaker, Jr. But the emphasis was not on meetings. It was on finding God and establishing a relationship with him. (3) Then came the 12 dark years of Bill’s protracted depression and the proliferation on many spinoff ideas from Richmond Walker, Father Ralph Pfau, Ed Webster, Sister Ignatia, and even Clarence Snyder and two Jesuit priests. The emphasis began to shift to “sharing experience, strength, and hope” and ignoring the Big Book instructions for the 12 Steps. (4) Meetings proliferated not because of quality but because courts were sending people to them and a mountain of treatment programs were bussing people to them. My main point, based on 20 years of research, has been that it is important to know the role that God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Bible played in the early program; to become tolerant of the wide variety of views and meetings today; and to decide whether or not to seek God’s help and learn how the pioneers did it. God Bless, Dick B.
Thanks Dick B. I rely at present on the Holy spirit
at the core of my being to keep me sober. I am
definitely becoming and am a different person to the
one who ended up not being able to stop abusing alcohol.
I have the utmost respect for the whole simplicity
and effectiveness of STEP 1. A simple truth that i was
willing to work on, willing to see that me and alcohol
really dont get along as yous guys say over in America.
Thankyou for the clear insight into the basis of meetings
in the days prior to the Big Book. It seems that Bill Wilson
shaped and galvanised some very traditional religious ideas
and made them more understandable and approachable to
the suffering alcoholic ? His own Alcoholism and mystical
awakening to God allowed this to happen. Anyway im still
attending meetings but i hope i can help and spread a bit
of good cheer and make a cup of tea perhaps. Step 12
is the key to all this for me at the moment. Anyway sobriety
has made my life much safer and better. People dont
always like to speak about the benefits of a sober life out
of humility but peace, joy and tolerance of others
are just three of the fruits that i experience in my heart.
I am learning to be alone with God as his unique creation
and this paradoxically makes me move loving to be with.
Dick B. Thankyou for you kindness and tolerance.
As an adult child of two alcoholics (one died, one went into rehab (12 step program and became sober), and a Dr, I am stunned at the sheer arrogance of this ‘article’. Whilst, I do not dispute that the 12 step program is not for everyone, surely it is unnecessary to adopt this puerile, condescending tone when addressing an alternative to your counseling service. It saved my mother, who was not a religious woman, nor adverse to taking responsibility for her own actions. I can only wonder what qualifications you have.
The article does not adopt a puerile or condescending tone, it merely points out that there are some major difficulties inherent with the AA model, and that perhaps it is time some of them were revised, as many of these issues prevent people from seeking help through the 12 step route. There is no need for you to make it a personal attack by doubting my qualifications or experience.
Can a person switch from drinking from being there addiction to making AA meetings there new addiction, making it more important then your family when they need you and all you do is go to meetings and live in the AA world? What should a person do if it is negatively affecting the rest of the family, even though they are not drinking, its still in the family as if she is because the family is not functioning. What should a person do for this?
Love it! Another Non-Alcoholic trying to understand the alcoholic
I totally agree with WOW’s comments
I go to AA (7 1/2 years sober actually). I have also tried counselling, with more to come – lots of self help books etc etc. Long before I drank I felt like an outsider even though I had fairly normal and loving up bringing.
I tried to manage my drinking on my own for over 20 years but I loved it and the release it gave me and the feelings of ease it provided. . .why would I really want to give up the medicine I had found that made life fun, manageable. . . .if your like me you will understand or as AA says, you will identify.
If you have tried to stop drinking many times over, perhaps you have been to rehab or whatever, if you havn’t given it a real go then how can you know?
I have seen many nice people in AA get sober, and get happy! I try to avoid the jerks and so far I have not slept with anyone in AA.
So much of what you have said is wrong!
It’s disgraceful to have so much misinformation on here just so you can make money. You are messing with people’s lives, alcoholism kills.
We are offering a very effective alternative treatment using well established cognitive behavioural therapy, we are not “messing with people’s lives”. Feel free to offer your own experience of AA though.
Some very important points were left out of this discussion-
The first thing I learned in AA is take what you want and leave the rest! That includes advice from a sponsor!
I have changed and am a much healthier and happier person-through the Steps and AA and creating a higher power of my own-which I call whatever-whatever happens is love!
AA works if you work it-meaning you put in the work of gleaning self-knowledge, letting go, meditation and prayer(to the god of your creation/understanding), and most important helping others for the sake of it without demands. The core of AA is love!
I wish all of you a quick recovery and lots of love!
I’ve read this article and the replies to it with interest. As a person who is working in the drug and alcohol field at a 12 Step treatment centre, where counselling and 12 Step work in harmony, I would have to say that this person or organisation is selling counselling, and undermining AA/NA in order to drum up business. This seems somewhat unethical to me. If you look at outcomes (NTA) for different types of treatment, counselling does not do any better than 12 Step.
Clearly 12 Step works for some people and not for others (as does counselling), but it is free and anonymous (you only give your christian name and there is nothing to stop you from making that up), and offers a supportive social network and ongoing help, as well as some practical steps to help with recovery. Addiction may or may not be a disease, but it is chronic, and in order to recover it has been shown that most people need ongoing support. It is incredibly helpful for people to build a new network of abstinent friends in order to avoid the triggers to relapse that may exist in their old network.
I’ve attended AA and NA meetings, and have heard the creative ways in which people work around the idea of God as their higher power. Very often the group becomes the higher power, and I’ve heard someone say that doing ‘the next right thing’ became his higher power – he had relapsed many times and found that this worked for him and has since been clean for 4 years.
It is worth reading the 12 Steps again and at the same time noting that they are not instructions, they are written by the men who founded AA in the 1930s, and describe how ‘they’ tackled their addiction. No-one is asked to follow the steps as a condition of attending meetings. They are a suggested route to follow, open to personal interpretation, and entirely voluntary. I do not believe in God, yet I facilitate 12 Step recovery at my place of work, and see it help my clients to recover from their addiction. I have never seen any evidence of this ‘cult’ that the article mentions. I’ve seen groups of people who share a common problem working together and supporting each other tirelessly in their recovery.
Finally, I have to take issue with the following statement ‘there are many references to relinquishing personal responsibility’. This is misleading and I worry that people reading the above will be put off going to the meetings which may save their lives. AA does not suggest this at all. It suggests that its members look at themselves, change their behaviour, make amends to those they’ve hurt through their addiction, and make use of their higher power at times when they are struggling.
Hi Jane,
I can understand your criticisms of the article, and I accept that it does sound rather dismissive of the 12 step approach, when that is perhaps uncalled for, as obviously the 12 step movement provides an immense resource. The intention was merely to point out that people should maybe not accept everything at meetings without questioning it.
And as we’ve said in the article, I quote – “there are different interpretations of these 12 steps, and many AA groups do advocate a more liberal approach, with the meetings themselves being seen as the higher power.”
and – “AA and NA do develop networks of community support, which is undoubtedly very positive”.
As there is virtually nothing else out there in terms of free, community support for alcoholism, I would agree with you that a combination of AA and counselling or therapy is a good approach.
Tobin,
I agree with your last paragraph, counselling and 12 Step can be a good combination. You are, however, offering your service as an alternative to 12 Step. Would it not be more ethical of you to simply advertise your service as a counselling approach to addiction?
AA and other mutual aid organisations do not criticise any other form of treatment in order to attract new members.
It’s true that your article says, “AA and NA do develop networks of community support, which is undoubtedly very positive”. However, in the same paragraph you go on to say, “The support given is from other addicts or alcoholics of course, not trained professionals. And by their very nature the meetings are public access, anyone can attend, so they are clearly not anonymous (especially when you are required to state your name).” Here you are drawing attention to two areas where people might be fearful. Firstly, playing on the anxiety people might have around not being in the hands of a ‘professional’, and secondly claiming that AA is not anonymous (which it is).
You’ve chosen to attack AA/NA fellowships from many different angles, playing on the fears and anxieties people have before they know what meetings are all about, namely the God aspect, the abstinence aspect, perceived rigidity of the philosophy, the wording of the steps, powerlessness and anonymity. I am not going to try to refute these in turn (though I could); I don’t want to get into a tussle here.
We are all working for a common cause, to help addicts/alcoholics to recover and live free from their addiction. I would not want to criticise you or your work, nor would I want to discourage anyone from using your service. I do think it’s a pity though, and as I said before, unethical, that you choose to market yourself as an ‘alternative’ to 12 Step recovery, and that you choose to criticise the fellowships in order to promote your service.
It might be worth noting at this point that AA/NA and all other mutual aid organisations are made up almost entirely of recovering addicts – they are the organisation.
Jane
Those who point to the shortcomings of A.A. are merely reciting facts. And one of the greatest shortcomings is that both A.A. and the recovery community have lost touch with how A.A. began. They have also lost touch with how it developed. And, of course, they keep harping on the nonsense gods–making up your own god and expecting the result to be different.
The riches of any effective recovery lie not in condemning others for “making money” off of A.A. They lie in rolling up your sleeves and learning the role that God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Bible played in the origins, founding, program, and extraordinary successes of the Christian fellowship founded in Akron in 1935. They can play the same role today for those who want God’s help.
On the other hand, A.A. today is not Christian, nor is it a Christian fellowship, nor will it become either. What is true is that there are tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of Christians in A.A. and in recovery who may want to seek the help of Almighty God. They should be comforted to know that that is exactly what the A.A. pioneers did, and that this route is quite available today.
To be contrasted, the fellowship is diverse and varied in membership. That said, the key today is not to “take what you like and leave the rest.” The key is to decide exactly what you want to take as your guide in present-day efforts and then be loving and tolerant of those who have a different course. These same folks may be the ones who listen to your phone calls late at night, give you a ride to a meeting, teach you how to take the 12 Steps, read the Big Book with you, or show you how they live successfully without drugs or alcohol.
God Bless, Dick B.
Dick B will have to answer to His maker one day. Bill and Bob were NEVER christians. He is insane and trys to prove over and over again in his made up books. He is on a roll . If you want true healing and true growth go to the source which is the holy bible. Forget that blue book . In the bible you cannot have a God of your own understanding there is only one God and thats it and no one can come to the Father except by Jesus Christ. Leading people into a fight about bill and bob is stupid and a waste of time. I have been in those rooms and left for good and still clean and sober. AA in 2010 is a scary place with sexual predators and shame /guilt based program fosters dependency on what the group OMG run fast. Dick B hopefully will one day start defending the bible and God and stop living for people. Hey Dick start living for God and stop defending anti Christians. As far as I am concern the only one clapping for you is the enemy…..
Dick B never discuss bill and bob involvment with the oujai board and provoking unseen spirits. That is not from God ..You want truth on AA look at the orange pages that will give you a really good idea of AA history no matter people like Dick B whats to claim.. Remember Dick is like what 75 years old himself..He is programmed
I drink Beer every day and can not quit. My liver hurts and I keep drinking. I don’t enjoy religion, church, meetings. I am trying like hell to hold off drinking my first beer today. Soon I will be siping my first delicious sip. My twin brother has been clean of Alcohol cigarets pot for five years through AA. As much as I don’t want to, I just got to go to the damm meeting.
Fortunately in 2010 there are many self help groups that anyone can use as an alternate to 12 steps. SOS, Women for Sobriety and SMART Recovery are just a few. If you are interested in finding something that works for you please search “alternative to 12 steps” and you will be amazed at the options you have in this century. It is not about the programs it is about what works for you.
Hello,
I am an alcoholic who has been going to Aa for yrs and a day at a time I have remained sober for 7yrs and drug free for 5yrs. I prefer to differentiate the two because I wouldn’t have stopped 1 with out stopping the other and it took as long as it took. I go to Aa but jeeeeeez i do hear some shit being spoken at meetings. I can also speak shit too at meetings, that is why i prefer to listen and limit my shit. I digress from what I am trying to say here and that is alcoholism/addiction is very serious and getting appropriate treatment is the most important thing for many people. I do not believe that Aa is the be all and end all. All I would ask is that people use the box http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=28817
This is a link to some alternatives to Aa. We all want the same thing so let us pull together and may your MOJO be with you. Peace and progress Xx
I have listened and i have read, and i have attended the meetings.
AA offered an opportunity to get well. I have attended for over 18 months, still no sponsor and therefore i havn’t done the 12 steps. I was told that you dont ask for a sponsor, they approach you? how many dirty cups should I wash up after meetings?.
I find it difficult to bare my soul to strangers, there must be alternatives out there? x
I am a recovering alcoholic – thanks entirely to AA. I have been in AA and totally abstinent for 9 years. Prior to that, I tried all the other ‘ways’ to stay off booze – but none of them worked for me. Most of the excuses I used for staying away from AA are included in the article and comments above – a cult, religion, manipulation and so forth. Eventually I reached my rock bottom and my prejudice against AA was defeated by my desire for sobriety, so I went to a meeting and have not had a drink since.
I felt many of the angers against the Fellowship that have been expressed above. I did not like some of the people in the AA rooms – I still don’t, but why should I? Of course there are some idiots about in AA, some manipulative people and some fanatics but that’s life! There is no requirement for me to follow their lead – indeed we are told to ‘stick with the winners’ as our example – I tend not to choose the idiot, the manipulator or the fanatic to follow either in or out of the AA rooms! It took me a long time to understand what the Twelve Step programme could do for me if I let it and wanted it. I do not manage to stick to every syllable of the Big Book, and would be suspicious of anyone who said they could! The AA programme for me is a way of living sober – after all, most of us could stop drinking for a while, we just couldn’t stay stopped.
As far as the percentages of success of AA are concerned, apart from the fact that any statistics from a meeting based recovery programme where attendances are not recorded are invalid, my view is that in my case the result is 100% success so far. As we say in the Fellowship ‘It works if you work it’. If you don’t work at your recovery or if you don’t really want your recovery you won’t get it!
AA is about getting sober, staying sober and finding out that it is OK to be yourself. Don’t knock it unless you’ve tried it – that was my mistake, and it kept me out in the dark and dismal land of the drinker for ten years more than I needed to be.
I have a life now.
Ken