Am I an Alcoholic ?
Most people who are drinking too much, in whatever way, will occasionally ask themselves the question – am I an alcoholic?
It’s a scary question to ask yourself, but as with most things the answer will not be a black or white,
“yes you’re an alcoholic” or
“no you’re not”,
but a shade of grey somewhere in between.
What sort of alcoholic are you?
Binge Drinker
- Irregular over-drinking,
- Monster hangovers,
- Doing embarrassing things you regret,
- Alienating your friends,
- Accidents,
- Days off work,
- Mood swings…
If this sounds like you, then get some help here.
Heavy Drinker
- Very difficult to have a day without alcohol,
- Can’t sleep without drink,
- Drinking alone,
- Guilt,
- Cravings,
- Can’t concentrate,
- Low energy,
- Depression…
Or if this sounds more like you, then contact us here.
Dependent Drinker
- Physical withdrawal,
- Drinking from early in the day, every day,
- Isolation,
- Poor health,
- Unstable work,
- Relationships failing,
- Feeling hopeless & ashamed…
If however, this is who you are, then to start with you’re going to need some medical help to detox your liver – go and see your Doctor, then get in touch with us.
You might be wondering, more simply, how can I stop drinking alcohol? But of course it’s never as simple as that. You’ll need plenty of support, and some clear goals, plus some in-depth understanding of how your own particular addiction works. That’s what online counselling will do for you. Try one session at least, and you’ll see how it can help.
If you do nothing about your problems, then nothing will change.
i drink all the time, i cant sleep when iv had a drink
My partner drinks 3 or 4 cans of beer every night. He does not sleep well if he hasn’t had a drink. He has been a heavy binge drinker for periods of time since I have known him (over 20 years). If he goes out he has to drink, he cannot be the one who drives. He cannot have 1 or 2 drinks, he has to keep drinking the whole night and ends up slurring his words which is very embarrassing to me. The other night he went on a bender and came home and could not stand up. He said the next day he thinks he has a problem. His answer to this is that he won’t go on many nights out (once or twice a year only but then he will be exactly the same). But he has carried on drinking cans every night. He works nights sometimes and I am always relieved as he does not drink on those days/nights. Am I right to be worried or am I over-reacting?
I do drink most evenings and it has now turned into me hiding it because it causes huge arguments with my partner. We moved together 3months ago properly – he does not really like me going out as when we were first dating I would cause huge scenes where I was really drunk, I have collapsed a few times where I have been so drunk and I have had to receive hospital treatment – one time which my boyfriend witnessed.
I can a have a few drinks sometimes and be ok but more times than not I can’t remember parts of the evening or even getting home or as I am not going out really anymore I drink when he is at work or in the evenings when he is playing the computer and hide it. I drink strong cider (diamond white) and have recently started drinking gin as apparently you cant smell the gin in gin and tonic. To be honest I like loads of strong spirits including JD and vodka. what ever size bottles I buy I hide and make sure I finish the lot – I am not always drunk out of head though infact sometimes you could not even tell I had had a drink.
I feel terrible today and have come on to this website as I am going to give up drinking as I know that I have a problem. I can not do moderation and have been drinking like this for years. I am ruining my relationship and proberly my chances of any kind of happiness. I am only 29 and I think part of this drinking started being more heavily when my Dad died 7 years ago. (he died because he was an alcoholic). You would think that seeing him and what alcohol did to him would of made me not turn out like this – But I have finally decided that I dont want to be anymore. I have done many embarrasing and terrible things whilst drinking.
All I want is to be happy again, have a loving relationship with my partner and hopefully a child
My boyfriend thinks I have huge problems and I am scared that I am going to fail and I am scared about not being able to drink anymore.
I gave up drinking a year ago using a book by Allen Carr, Easyway to Control Alcohol. It was a revalation, and I feel like I have my life back after 20 years of being a heavy drinker. I used to drink most days, mostly to excess, but only at night after the kids were in bed, so always justified it, as I wasn’t going out anymore. I am 36, so began regularly drinking at 16 and ny 18 was drinking on my own if I wasn’t going to the pub. Allen Carr basically states that alcohol is just another drug, you just need to kick the habit.
Anyway, I have regained my health, my confidence, my happiness, my mind and my life. I feel like I have emerged from the fog I have been living in, and am so grateful for what I (and my partner) have done. I want to tell everyone the news but I sound like a religious zealot (I have not found religion by the way – in fact I have confirmed my atheism). The good news is that it is not a sacrifice to go without drink but you are sacrificing everything if you carry on!! Really.
I still have an occassional galss of bubbly on special occassions and know that the capacity to drink to excess is still with me, but now i control it, the alcohol – it doesn’t control me anymore. READ THE BOOK!!! Save your life!!!!
i have lost my wife i crashed my car
My heart really goes out to everyone who is struggling with alcohol. I have had a drink problem for many years, I did’t drink everyday or needed alchol in the mornings to get me through the day, my problem was that I always hid it from my husband and I never knew when to stop. It finally came to a head when I was caught drink driving for a second time and lost my licence for 3 years and admitted I needed help.
I have been sober now for 4 months now thanks to a wonderful drug called Antabuse. It isn’t a cure for my alcohol addiction and I am going to be on this for at least 12-18mths. I always thought that I could control my addiction by myself but I couldn’t, alcohol always won. All I can say to people out there if you honestly want to give up drinking and be free from the demons that alcohol gives then there is the help and advice, but you really want to have to give it up for good. My life is beginning to turn around and I am starting to like myself, its very hard but I am so focused that I want to beat this.
Please help me…I am drunk right now and so sad, I want to quit drinking so badly but the cravings keep me coming back. I never used to be like this. I didn’t even start drinking until i was 21. I am now 28 and drinking every night. I have a great job and make good $$. Why do I need to drink? I can’t stand it anymore. I want to quit, but I fear a life without alcohol. How sad is that? I want to be the person I was before alcohol. The fact that I can type this paragraph without misspelling words after having nearly ten drinks is quite disturbing to me. BTW, I am an American and stumbled (in Internet terms) upon this site. I don’t drink during the day ever, but 10:00pm comes and all I can think about is drinking. I know this is a disease, partly genetic (family members were alcoholics) and partly behavioral. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
Hey,it’s great that you acknowledge you might have a problem. I’ve been dealing with similar difficulties and so can understand where you are coming from. Try starting with some goals if you can – maybe just one day a week drink free and build it up from there.
I’ve been having counselling sessions through this site and it’s been fantastic. I would really recommend giving it a try.
I’ve come to a very scary realization reading this, well, guess I’ve known it for a while – but I think it’s time to quit. Heh, quite a story here; I’m an ex-1990s dot-com-boom kid… Well, in short; I retired at a very young age (24) and pretty much enjoyed life in a rockstar-like fashion since then…throwing lavish parties and drinking on a bi-daily basis which obviously resulted in my current problem – I can’t go a day without having at least three or four beers…or anything else for a matter of fact (It’s like being hungry, I just have to have a drink).
The problem is, I tried to cut down on my drinking but my friends are always around and regardless of my resolutions, I always end up with a drink in my hand… I know, I had a chat with someone the other day and she recommended that I get non-drinking friends…the problem with that argument; well, these are the guy who did the whole startup thing with me back in the day – so I can only guess that they’re going through the exact same thing… Oh, I also have this additional paroblem – I can’t stop. I have to drink “till I drop”…or until I’m seriously “not myself”…
Btw, thanks in advance for any advice you might have – I’m absolutely ready to change my lifestyle but understand, abstinence from alcohol won’t work socially for me…the last thing I need is for people to speculate about “my problem”.
Hi Tara,
I havent had a drink almost 3 years….i grew up with a fabulous, loving mom, however when she drank it wasn’t good…..I did the drinking thru my late teens, twenties and thirties (40’s) I’m 46…probably alot…wine.. 3 – 4 x a week….most getting drunk ..at times to “wash” away problems….I never wanted my children to grow up with me drinking….I am a single Mom, I attend al-anon for that and my daughters father….addict, alcholic, not living together now….and he’s doing great!
Back to me….I just woke up one day and didn’t have the desire, craving or want to drink….at all since then….I akin? it to not wanting coffee anymore, or suger , or chocolate…..but AA calls me a “Dry Drunk”….not a really nice name I don’t think….but what is your opinion?
Oh, if you didn’t get this part…I had become very high in my faith with God about a year before that……do you think God could have just known? I don’t know your faith….I have not had, wanted, craved, but have been around, of course had opporutnity to drink.
Today is my 28th birthday. Many people make new year resolutions to do or not to do different things, I am making a resolution to make a change to my drinking habits before my 29th birthday. When I hear the word alcoholic I generally associated it with someone who drank all day every day who had not job and was in one word a “bum”. After reading a few things on this site I have realised that I probably have a binge drinking problem.
I have been drinking since I was 18, going out to pubs and clubs on weekends and get smashed with friends, waking up the next day not remembering too much from the night before and spending the day nursing a hangover. I would always say I was never going to drink again (or at least not that much), however a party or special event would come around again and I was back on the wagon.
I always thought that by the time I got to this age I might of grown out of the whole partying scene and gained some responsibility, I have recently got married and have a very loving husband who doesn’t drink that much and is generally responsible for looking after me when we attend events, I often wake up the next day feeling terrible and asking him to fill me in on the nights events. He doesn’t generally comment on my drinking however I can tell deep down he would like it if I didn’t drink so much.
My dad has a drinking problem and my mum eventually left him because he couldn’t go a day without having a drink, it controls his life, I look at him and know that I don’t want to be like that. I don’t drink every day or even every week, there are nights when I can got out and be the driver and still have a good night so I know deep down I can do it. I noticed another member suggested a book by Allen Carr to read, I’m going to read it and give it a go.
I’m not going to dwell on past events as I can’t change them, I’m looking forward!
I went on an Allen Carr seminar this week-end i cannot speak highly enough of it. Is expensive (but not compared to the thousands I have wasted on booze over the years). But if you can’t afford the seminar the book is only about eight quid and you can probably borrow from your library for nothing. I promise you it is possible to quit booze, there was no bigger drinker than me. Prior to last year I probably averaged 12 cans a night of beer, sometimes with wine or cider for 12 or so years. I* had no will power whatsoever around drink & my weight ballooned to 20 stone. I could not imagine a day without booze. I read Allen Carr’s book last year and am now teatotal & know I will never touch another drop. (And no – I am not in AA nor have I found God). Last year my partner died as I was quitting the booze and if I wanted to I had the perfect excuse to go back to necking can after can during and after that nightmare but I didn’t.
All I am really saying is that no matter how impossible it feels right now it can be done.
Good luck
P
To anyone out there who is genuine about reading the Allen Carr’s easy way to Control Alcohol, I have read the book and it really does open your eyes about alcohol. I am willing to send the book to you if it is going to help.
Even putting these comment online is hard for me. I felt I was happy to admit I had a problem to myself, but actually admitting it to other people is a whole other story. Yes, I have a drinking problem and I am getting control of this. I’m tired, I”m stressed, I need a drink! sound familiar? This is me at the end of every day. There has to be a better way. I can come up with all sorts of reasons that blame other people as to why I have a drinking problem – isn’t that what a good addict does. But today, it stops with me. I have the problem, I also have the solution. Will consider the Allen Carr book, though I am in Australia so need to see if it is available here. Thanks for giving me a starting point.
My partner is an alcoholic, i have tried to help him stop drinking if he
gets a problem his only way to cope with it is to drink. i find it very
difficult to cope with, he has been into hospital, he was having fits and
it is very scarey to see but as soon as he comes home he starts again.
There is no help, if he was a drug user he would get the help. they say
that he could go into a rehab but he can’t because he has mental health
problems, so all people like us don’t get the help we need. all i can say is
there is a bg problem and there is no help.
Hi Gillian,
I myself am a recovering alcoholic, I have been sober now for nearly six months now. I used to feel that there was no help out there until seven months ago I went to my GP because I had been on a real bender, my husband left me and my daughter ending up going to stay with her grandparents and I lost my job and I was rock bottom, my GP put me in touch with a local Alcohol and Drug Misuse team. It took me some courage to go and even make an appointment to see someone, I am so glad I did, I have never looked back. After my bender I decided on the Sunday night that I was never going to drink ever again and that I really did need help. I have counselling every two weeks and I am also on a drug called Antabuse. This drug is not for everyone as you want to have to give up the demon drink for good before going on it. Drinking even a swig of alcohol on this can make to very very ill. So there is help out there but your husband has to want to help himself and admit he has a problem.
Well done Jane – my story’s a bit like yours, though I never lost my family. I’m 53 and my alcoholism started in 2000 after yet another relationship breakup. I was lucky enough to go into rehab in 2005 and then again in 2006, but I picked up soon after I came out. I’d taken overdoses galore and in November 2006 I nearly suceeded. I hated myself, I was hurting all those that loved me and just couldn’t break the cycle. My head was in bits and I was frightened. However, I got a lucky break when I came out of hospital, I went to my doctor who picked up on something I had said and was referred to a specialist counsellor for issues relating to my childhood and teens. I had never spoken about these events to anyone and it was just amazing to get rid of it all. My perception of the events had become distorted and I had always blamed myself. I truly believe my counsellor saved my life. I have been clean for 16 months now, my confidence and self esteem is higher that it has ever been. I am now training to be a counsellor to work in the field of alcohol. We are not bad, nasty people, we just went a bit wrong on our journey through life. After so many relapses myself, I take my hat off to anyone who keeps trying to come off it an applaud those that manage it!
My dad was an alcoholic so I when I got married to a man who did not care much for drink I thought the nightmare was over. I just had to work on dealing with past hurts. Then, my husband starts to drink and worst: he after all quite enjoys it. Now I am contemplating divorce after trying to help the best I can and failing.
My dad already died at 64. I believe he’d still be here had it not been for the drink. My marriage is collapsing and, in a way, so am I.
I don’t believe alcoholics are bad people. My dad was a great person and fun to be around when he was drink free. Same with my husband.
It’s like I am living it all over again and I just can’t do this anymore. I spend my days wondering if the person who is coming home that day is the “nice” husband or the “nasty” husband.
I wish everyone all the very best. I used to be angry, now I just accept it’s his option…I don’t underestimate the grip addictions have on us, as I’ve abused tranquilisers during my teen years, but to all of you, don’t underestimate the power you have within you to change your lives when you’re ready.
Hi! Suzannah
It was good to read your story even though you have been through a lot. In my euphoria of being sober for a while I had forgotten the pain that I caused the ones I loved. I know it’s easy to say, but I didn’t mean it. Drink became my ‘best friend’ at the expense of everything else. Sometimes, when things get really bad emotionally for me, I remember the times when I doused myself until I could sleep. Fortunately I now know that drinking never fixed things, it just obliterated it for a while then made them worse. I wouldn’t wish alcoholism on my worst enemy, nor on my worst enemy’s family. It’s good to hear the other side at times, puts the whole thing into prespecttive. I hope things turn out ok for you.
I am only 17 and have been drinking for 3 or 4 years, back when i was younger it wasn’t much of a problem, i only used to drink at friends’ house every weekend but now i seem to be seeking alcohol every day, even now, on a wednesday i’ve had a fair bit to drink and it seems to take alot more to get me drunk. It just seems every day now that i get cravings, i don’t even have a bad life to be honest, nothing to dwell about. Anyone have any ideas?
Hi Andrew,
I actually started drinking at 17 and it took a hold on my life. I am now 41 years old and it is only within the last six months that I have had actually been sober. I actually sought help far to late in my life. You are young and got your whole life ahead of you, admitting that you are drinking too much now is half the battle. If you want the help it is out there but you are the only one who can decide which road to take.
cheers jane, but drunk again, only time i’m happy is when i’m drunk. I AM AN ABSOLUTE TWAT.
I’m worried about my husband. He used to be a social drinker until he was laid off his job in the year 2000. He parties 4-5 days a week.. Someone is always coming by that drinks. Some consider him a fun guy when he’s had too much. I get the worst of him the following day when he isn’t very nice to me, he’s irritable and swearing. I also notice that he isn’t motivated like he used to be, and when he needs to make a decision about simple things, he gets all angry and stressed and seems unable to do it.
He told me he can’t quit drinking, so how can I help him without causing him to drink more?
Hi Andrew,
What r u like, my heart goes out to you, I bet you don’t feel happy once the drink has worn off. I used to feel exactly the same as you when I had a drink, nothing could touch, hurt or harm me, I was on cloud nine. All I can say is drinking does not make u feel happy, it makes you worse. I drank because of my past, you have said your childhood was good and you have the rest of your life to look forward to. Just a word of advice, drinking can make you lose so much, I was extremely lucky (only just) my husband chose to stand by me and help me to become sober. My entire family very nearly turned their backs on me, including my daughter. I am still trying to gain their respect back and it is really hard. Don’t be an idiot like me and ruin your life, you can do it, have faith.
Well, it’s weird. I never drink during the day, unless out for lunch, which is rare. But come the evening, we get home and open a bottle of wine. And every night we get through a bottle of wine each and then a vodka & coke nightcap or two. And it’s not like that makes us get violent or bounce off the walls or anything. Just a habit. Sometimes I might have one or two more because I’m a bit of an insomniac, and yes, if I do, I don’t feel quite so lively in the morning. How to break the habit when there’s two of you and you both do the same thing? And when it doesn’t really affect the rest of your life?
All comments welcome – any experience of taking anti-depressants and whether they do or don’t work with a regular alcohol ’schedule’?
Hi to All who have commented here,
I am an alcoholic! Yes I can say this, even though I still believe I haven’t got a problem! What a contradiction!
you see I don’t drink all the time, I’m not even a social drinker! but when I have that one drink, that’s it, all control is lost, I tell myself one drink is not going to do any harm, wrong, it is the one drink that starts the cycle. I have been arrested for being drunk and disorderly a few times, you would have thought I would have learned a lesson, oh no not me, you see I tell myself I haven’t got a problem because I don’t drink every day, or night or even every week, I can go weeks without having a drink!
I don’t like the taste of the alcohol, but unfortunately it is the buzz I get from the alcohol, I don’t know why?
It has caused me untold problems, with my family and friends. I am not happy at the moment working in a job which is very stressful, this is when I seem to drink, I have had a few positions where I have drank to over come the stress and ended up causing more problems for myself and family!
You all here have been an inspiration for me, well done to the one’s who have abstained, and to the one’s who have admitted they have a problem, and to the one’s who have commented, and a great big well done to the one’s who want to help those who have the problem.
And to all of us in denial, these’s people have shown us there is hope, we have to take the first step. I have tried going to AA meetings, unfortunately I find them to be to much into religion, I do know that they have helped others in there way, but this was not for me. My first step will be to give up this job that I feel exacerbates my drinking and the next step is to go see my GP.
Can someone define a problem, i know i have a what only can be called a dependency on the higher state of conciousness (bad spelling i apologise) that alcohol provides. a half bottle of whiskey and bottle of wine a day is that an issue, i never get drunk as thats not enough for me, had a terrible couple of months after losing a ‘man organ’ to a rare form of cancer. Basically can the human mind depend on a release as a temporary measure to escape the burdens bought down in every day life?
The human mind yearns for temporary exemption from the horrors of life and we all find it in different ways. The lucky find it in work or relationships or sport or achievements in other areas. The unlucky find it in addictive pursuits, usually,( tho’ not always ) involving drink or drugs.
Our fate as humanbeings is ultimately death, and we have, unlike non-sentient creatures, the cognitive ability to contemplate this and this can be so distressing that we turn to anything to remove the horror of that vision – if so afflicted.
The workaholic immerses him or herself in what appears to be a healthy outlet, dressed up and garnished with all the succulent trimmings and trappings of materialism, and escapes the kind of vitriol saved for the socially inept ( as alcoholics and druggies are labelled ).
We’re all living in denial to a certain extent. We may have the intellectual ability to contemplate our own death but how often do we do it or acknowledge it?
And how much easier is it to drown it with booze, or alter the picture with drugs?
And why does the goverment push it on us with such zeal and zest?
It’s ultimately up to us of course. Perhaps the only real choice we have left is how we die? Tho’ many out there know the joy of choosing, instead, how to live.
Hi,
I have been sober now for nine months now and I began drinking to block out an abusive childhood, (which was no fault of my own so i am being told). I am nearly 42 years old now and my abuse began when I was 11. I kept my abuse a secret up until 16 years ago when I met my husband and the truth finally came out. I am now having counselling which I am finding very hard as I have to to back to that 11 year old little girl. To block my pain out over the years I drank myself into oblivion. I never thought in a million years that I could look back on my childhood and still be sober. The pain is still real but without the bottle. I have had alot of time to reflect on how I have hurt my family and what I put them through, that I find harder to deal with, I feel very guilty for that. I read a quote from someone on the site:
“Sometimes we lose sight of the things in life that mean so much to us, but accepting we are indeed in between is the key to recovery”
I lost sight of the love that my family has for me and how much they wanted to help me become a better person. You have to have the support from the people who love you most.
To anyone out there who wants to become sober and doesn’t know whether they can, you have to want to do it for yourself and not because someone is telling you to. If I can do it, then you can.