Binge drinking is alcoholism too
Many people looking for help on this site do not consider themselves to be alcoholics. They are not drinking all day, every day. But they are regularly binge drinking alcohol to excess, such that they are damaging their health, their relationships and their self esteem.
It is easier to convince yourself that you haven’t got an alcohol problem if you can regularly have days where you don’t drink at all. You think you’ve got control of your drinking again, so you’re not so concerned any more.
Then it happens again – you binge, and wake up feeling awful. Maybe you carry on drinking heavily for a couple of days to deal with how guilty you feel about it all. But this type of binge drinking can have serious negative consequences which you need to do something about.
Are you an alcoholic or a binge drinker?
Take our test of alcoholism signs and symptoms.
i agree…in fact i now believe that i was an alcoholic…i found i couldnt go without drink for more than a couple of days, would always need a drink when i went out, and always cracked open a beer at the first whiff of trouble from work or my personal life…
i never drank much…but i did binge drink and over a long time, (i guess, nearly 20 yaers, i’m 36 now) i slowly realised that i had been in denial a long time,…if i continued to drink, then alcohol would surely kill me, (i used to think i was invincible when drunk) or would at least continue to smash my self esteem…thus drive me to drink more…
I realised in the end that it was making me depressed and i’d make decisions in these moments, which were the opposite of what i should have been doing.
If binge drinking is also a form of alcoholism…then most of the adults living in the UK are alcoholics…it seems crazy that we have allowed this to happen…isnt it time we started to ban alcoholic advertising in the same way that has happened in the cigarette industry?
scott
sorry, can i add a trackback to my website, http://www.easyscott.com
thanks
scott
I’ve recentl;y had a novel published by iUniverse entitled ‘Binge! Would therapy resolve what his alcohol use never could?’ First of a series looking at today’s issues in a therapeutic context.
Couldn’t agree with you more Scott. The whole country is in an alcoholic mess. I’ve been sober for over 6 months now and I still find it hard to fight all the messages floating around society that it’s perfectly fine to get stupidly drunk at every opportunity – celebrations, bad times and when you’re bored.
In years to come people will look back on our time in history as the drunk years and will stare through time in horror at how much people actually drank
You’ve just got to keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, that’s hard. There’s a quote that’s been getting me through the dark times when I’m close to pushing the “F*ck it button”:
“Sooner or later there comes a time in each person’s life when they must choose between what is easy and what is right.”
My husband (we’ve now separated!) has been a ‘drinker’ all his adult life. It is binge drinking regularly. He can stop for a week or two but in the meantime he’s very depressed. He won’t admit he’s depressed, will blame me/outside problems for his bad/low/grumpy moods. I think he drinks to boost his confidence and calm his nerves. He says he only drinks when socialising, which is partly true.
Drinking has ruined his life, lost relationships, didn’t look after his children, couldn’t hold down a regular job, been in trouble with the law and been to prison a few times as well. He’s now 52, left his job last Christmas, not working, diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, every week I hear the same thing, I’m packing up smoking (lasts about one day), knocking the drink on the head (lasts about 4/5 days). Gets drunk on about 4-5 pints (not possible for a regular drinker unless it’s a top-up or has been drinking vodkas secretly. I also suspect some drug use (whether prescribed or unprescribed).
Looks simple enough to me, he needs to go on antipressants/have some counselling etc. Can’t get him to admit drink is a problem!!! He is a decent person is lots of ways and worth ‘saving’ but won’t even let me talk about it without blowing a fuse. Obviously it’s up to him and not me, I’ve left him so can’t do any more to get my message across. Any ideas please. Thanks Cathy
There is a lot of shame and self-hatred associated with substance abuse. Cathy it will be hard to get him to stop and he needs to hit a bottom. The best thing to do is tell him you are there for him if and when he wants to talk and that you believe he is a good person with a bad problem.
Binge drinking is alcoholism. I know because I have done it for my adult life. I recently joined AA and I am looking for a sponsor because I recognize that I cannot avoid alcohol without the support of others.
My cycles kept me sober for periods of time – sometimes months. But anytime I drank it was to excess and to avoid my problems. I have never missed work, although I’ve gone in with some wicked hangovers. I am going to reach out and end my cycles with the support of my group and a sponsor. I am hopeful that I can do this. I wish you all well.
Hmmm…I’m sitting here bawling and embaressed because I am going to my first AA meeting tonight. I’m a sucessfull woman, mother of 3 and usually happily married woman. But last night I drank, and drank and drank. My husband has had it with me making a fool of myself, and I’m an awful drunk. I am so glad my kids were not home last night. I’m tired of loathing myself for days, even weeks after a binge. I can go long periods without alcohol, but put me in a social situation and I turn into a complete idiot. Yes, I think we all are alcoholics, listen to the lyrics in most music now a days, it’s all about partying. Good luck to all of you!
After 25 years of binge drinking and deluding myself that, as I could stop drinking, I didn’t have a problem, I finally quit 6 months ago.
What made the difference? A terrifying alcohol withdrawal seizure that’s what. I’d stopped drinking on the Monday lunchtime and threw myself into my usual routine of bottles of water, multi vitamin pills and loads of exercise. So far so good until 46 hours later when I started to feel a bit disorientated, turned round to get something in a supermarket and felt as if my head was turning inside out. Luckily someone caught me before I made contact with the floor and gently lowered me down safely. I just remember coming round and wondering what on earth had happened.
I was taken to the local Accident and Emergency Dept. and given the once over. I was then informed it was as a result of alcohol withdrawal and pumped full of librium and vitamins.
I realised I had 2 choices. I could either drink non-stop until it killed me or I could carry on with the librium as prescribed, stay sober, and have a much better time of it. The fact is, in my sober moments, I know only too well that I am an awful lot better off. Hell, I don’t even like the taste of alcohol and my poor long suffering stomach certainly doesn’t (gastritis isn’t funny is it)?
How am I coping? Very well so far. I look and feel better than I have in years, I’m taking strong vitamin B compound (recommended and prescribed by my GP) and, if tempted off the straight and narrow, there’s always the horrendous memory of that seizure.
How can I help my son who refuses to admit he has a drink problem? He enjoys frequent, wild, alcoholic binges with friends, followed by bouts of nothing at all in between.
He has been drinking to excess for ten years or more now – huge excess when he does drink – but won’t admit he has a problem.
I am terrified that he will either die of liver failure or choke on his own vomit one night. What can I do? He knows I am worried, but just laughs it off, as he is so enjoying life at the moment.
hiya im at the age of 15 and i think i have an alcohol problem every time i see it i carnt not drink it im starting to pinch money from family and freind members so i can buy alcohol. can yopu help me
dear amy
Wow you have a problem. There are many ways to recover. There is a lot of support for you. It is so detrimental for you to start drinking this early. Your body is still growing and developing. Please get some help, email me and I will find some help for you.
Amy, do get help. You made a very intelligent decision by realizing this problem at such a young age. I did not stop until I was 32 – after 14 years of drinking too much. You have so much life to live, and all the opportunities ahead of you. Look in the front of the yellow pages or the white phone book to find some numbers. Lots of people are there to help in a non-judgemental manner. Good luck and be brave.
Hello to everyone
What a fantastic life this is! I am sat here now drowning my sorrows over my second bottle of vodka today!!!! This has taken a great deal of guts to overcome my pride and finally tell someone what I am doing!!!! But here we go. My drinking started when I met my most beautiful Chinese wife some 5.5 years ago. I am 46 now and never married because of studying law and being a bit of a fly by night!
I qualified as a lawyer and met my lovely wife, however things took a turn when my Mother, (who has always disliked any woman I have met) who also wanted to become a grandmother, told me that she would disown me as a son if I married the chinky whore. (Please note my wife was pregnant at the time). My Mother siad she would not come to the wedding and was not interested. This sounds fine coming from an Italian who married my English Father, (who is sadly passed away, but what a terrific man he was and is).
At that time, I had the most perfect body, abs etc and my body was a temple. My only vice was smoking, but I was incredbly fit. I had been a successful martial artist in Kick-boxing for 16 years, but I was not a thug. In fact I was very gentle as a person. I am not tall, only 5’8, but confident in a nice way.
I had always wanted a big wedding but because of my Mother, I married my wife on the quiet so as to avoid attention locally. I felt so ashamed and in a way blamed it on my wife because she needed her British Citizenship. This seemed so coincidental that I believed my Mother and thought my wife just used me to get her British Citizenship, which upon reflection I now know not to be true. Boy, it has taken me a long time to realise this!!!!
However, my wife gave birth to our first son, and sadly he was a Downs Child and required immediate surgery because he had a hole in the heart. I beleive my wife then suffered post natal depression, but received no support. All I got from my Mother was a careless attitude and said that my wife looked ill and old and that I should never have married her. My Mother just did not like or care for her!!!! I am am an only child and this whole business has affected me. My Mother appeared then to make it her mission to never like my wife an rather than support and help her, my Mother would instead just criticise and mock her as well as insult her. I dont blame my wife for not wanting to married to me!!!k do you??? I was so ashamed, and although I did sitck up for my wife I was very torn between the two. If I told my Mother not to be the way she was, she would then argue, ( which is what she does best) and tell me that I was being nasty to her (with tears) and that I never ever loved her etc!!! But my mother is very clever at turning the water works on and making me feel bad. It still works now and she still tries it on with me, but I just walk away. she will even start to cause an arguement in front of my sons but slagging their Mother off. Obviously, I defend their Mother and I dont like it one bit. I remember my Father telling me on more than one ocassion that he wanted to leave my Mother, but I always though my Mother was great and most probably refused to understand my Father, so instead I would talk him out of it!!! How great and wise am I???? not much really!!!!! eh !!!!!!!!!!!! What a wanker I am!!!!!
My poor Father never had the undrstanding of his son. This hurts me and I am full of remorse because he will never know that I now understand.
My Mother gave no support to my wife ever, and it has always been an uphill struggle. We had our second son because my wife and I agreed that it would be in the best interests fo our first son if he had a brother to look after him and care for him when we pass away. I telephoned my Mother to let her know that it was boy etc and that he was fine. All I got was, Oh thats good, I ‘ll speak to you tomorrow, I am watching television at the moment!!!!!!!!
My heart sank a second time, I lied to my wife telling her that my Mum was so thrilled, but I think deep down she knew the truth. I was so ashamed. But the one thing I can always say is that I have truly loved my wife always. I ended up hitting the bottle very hard but disguising it from everyone. My business was failing and we were getting deeper and deeper into debt. I was letting my wife down a a husband but could not see any way out. Alcohol has taken me away from this misery.
To cut a long story short, my wife left me for a man 11 years my senior, a wealthy man who took her away for 7 weeks last christmas to Amsterdamn, Africa and America and left me to look after our two young sons!!! this hurt. I tried to keep away from the bottle and succeeeded. But she reutrned and her man was all over her and started telling my sons he was their uncle Nick!!!! He is not my brother nor my wifes, so I telephoned him and wanted to meet him, in fact I threatened him and said I would smash every bone in his face if he ever misguided my sons into beleiving he was theri uncle. He put the phone down on me. My wife and hi have since finished, but it is still in my mind and although my wife is treating me decent, and I love her, she is not treating me like a husband. she does however ask me to do lots of jobs for her which I do because I still love for being the Mother of my children. I drink every day now, because I can not get my head around things, I am in financial difficulty but my wife is not, even though it was me who set her up in business in the UK.
I feel like I have bee had, and my Mother has most certainly not helped matters, my only way out is the bottle and maybe kill myself from doing so!!!! who knows, and who cares? At the end of the day it is about what I am worth moneywise, isnt it????
I dont like the taste of alcohol, it screws me up and I am drinking whilst writing this email!!!! Any suggestions, I only want to be a family man and good Father??????
I’m a binge drinker, I work weekends so its usually my “reward” after a days work. Every Monday morning (or Tuesday/Wednesday) I give up drinking cos I feel so awful, sometimes lasting a few days or even until Friday. By the weekend I’m feeling better but come Saturday night the wine comes out and I have to drink. The problem is after two or three days of not drinking and reminding myself why I’m not I start normalising my drinking ie. everyone drinks at the weekend then if I’m lucky it is only for 2 days but usually goes on for 4. Then the cycle starts all over again the next week. I’m fed up with it and this time I’m determined. Sites like this are a real help cos you realise you’re not the only “oddity”. I haven’t drunk since last Sunday and if I can get through tomorrow night it will be a real achievement. Wish me luck.
I am just like you Sue. I go sometimes for 2 weeks withuot alcohol but then I have a bad weekend. I usually only use one night then spend 3 days recovering and pigging out. I am so sick of myself but I do not like aa one bit and think it is totally out of date and actually can be potentially damaging. I don’t know what other options there are for real help. I already see a therapist but that has been little help. I am frustrated. I have had many damaged relationships and problems from alcohol but am also high functioning and well educated as well. I believe stongly that all my problems would soften and potentially dissolve if I could cope better with my drinking but I don’t believe abstinence is the only answer. I was abstinent for a year and a half and hated pretty much every minute of it. Any suggestions would be appreciated. People who have a problem with food cannot be abstinent. I am sure they must learn how to moderate. I don’t see how A.A thinks their way is the only one. That is the message I have recieved thus far.
I’m four months sober and I’m in a real quandary about whether I’m alcoholic or not. I definitely drank too much, I was a real binger and could binge for two days on the trot. However, I suffered from major clinical depression which went undiagnosed for many years so alcohol was my prop/ self-medication. Now, my depression has lifted and I feel fantastic. Why? Because I’ve been in a three day a week, intensive therapy programme for several months and I’ve treated core issues from my past that pulled me down. So, with the spring back in my step, I’m thinking, ‘I wonder if I can drink again?’ It’s a real bugger, the debating society in my head….I don’t want to do the wrong thing but I don’t want to stay in AA indefinitely if I’m in the wrong place….
I have been binge drinking for 20 years now.After the binge I will swear to the moon and stars that it was the last time and in that moment of being desperately hung over I mean it most sincerely but within a week or sometimes a little longer I find myself repeating the process all over again just like the movie,’Groundhog Day’.
Now,I have been aware for a long time now that the general population’s definition of an alcoholic is out dated and misunderstood.Part of the main reason why there is so much denial associated with boozing is because the general definition is that of the chronic case of an alcoholic(the extreme case).Nobody is going to admit that they are as bad as a homeless person sitting in the street, or park with urine stained clothes drinking Special Brew, or similar,having to rely on alcohol so much that they shake without it or worse.I have never had the shakes but I am alcoholic all the same.The point I am trying to convey is that the vast population don’t know what an alcoholic actually is and I personally accept that if the truth about alcoholism was widely realised then a lot of lives would and could be saved.
Furthermore, over the 20 years that I have put my ownself through a living hell, I have also come to realise that a nicotine addiction has an absolutely enormous part in problem drinking.This may not be true in every case but there are all types of drinkers literally.In my case this is true.When someone becomes addicted to nicotine it changes their brain chemistry and creates what I call an ‘addiction centre’, this is a lot more visible or easier to understand if one thinks of how when they do drink they smoke like crazy and when they have a cigarette they then suddenly want another drink and the two work as an antidote to each other.If one smoked 20 cigarettes one after the other sober they would probably not be able to do it.Once this addiction centre is established, it is my belief that it becomes activated by certain toxins,as in alcohol and that constant craving for another cigarette that all smokers will be aware of gets activated in to drinking as well.
I am still working on my own binge drinking and admittedly I have not released myself from its claws or curse yet but I believe this is not because I am abberrated,mad,sick with a disease,genetic disorder or just outright pathetic and weak……..I believe it is because I have failed to give up nicotine long enough to either reverse or alter my brain chemistry long enough to be able to completely remove the insatiable thirst I experience when I do start drinking.In other words, I am totally convinced that if I had never become addicted to smoking I would not have been a problem drinker,smoking took away my own control and replaced it with a constant craving that starts up when I drink.
If anybody reading this needs some evidence of this then why do you think that when people stop smoking for 2 weeks or so and then go out on the town, it is well documented that they hit the booze twice as hard as normal.
I found this on a website and wanted to add it to my previous post:
“Another idea is that since smoking stimulates and alcohol relaxes, smokers use alcohol to prevent over-stimulation from smoking and alcoholics use cigarettes to prevent sedation”
Hi,
6 months ago I gave up drinking… or thought I had.
i’d had enough after 10 years of binge drinking, sometimes it was only once a month, sometimes it was once a week, I don’t wake up on a morning wanting alcohol, I could go forever without it if it was taken away from me, bring back prohibition:).
50% of my nights drinking with my heavily drinking mates turned into nightmares, i’ve done some things that i’m completely ashamed of and it upsets me to think of them TBH.
examples…
ran across 12 lanes of motorway at 11pm at night as 4 of my mates looked on horrified…
got in fights, sometimes with friends, never done proper damage but that’s not the point…
said some stupid things that I would never think of sober.
I turn into a completely different person when i’ve had too much, some of my mates get lively, some get quiet, some get angry but never seem to cause much trouble… not me though… I turn into a nightmare, I think i’m invincible, I feel a rage run through me, I lose all concept of reality, I don’t know where it comes from but it’s like the normal quiet lad leaves his body and the devil (for want of a better word) is left behind. I just turn in a second, it’s like i’ve gone mad.
all my problems in life are down to one thing… DRINK…
I’d go out, be having a great time and thinking i’m ok to keep on drinking and then a few drinks later… BOOM… the lunatic reappears. I go home having done something stupid and then worry about it and get depressed for weeks on end. just as i’m starting to feel good about myself again… guess what…. another night out and the cycle starts again.
I thought I was in control but I recently started drinking shandy (it gets me merry and retains that level) but that lead to my first proper pint after 6 months. too days later on a night out I had a couple of pints and couldn’t stop myself and the devil returned. I said something really stupid, got thrown out of the club and went to bed… regrets
If I can’t have 2 pints and then stop myself and go on soft drinks then it’s gonna have to be non-alcoholic drinks for me from now on cos it’s not worth the risk anymore.
I fear hurting myself or someone else…
do people go to AA with binge drinking problems? I don’t count myself as an alcoholic, maybe I should do?
ta
Kingpin
Kingpin,it appears to me that you have a very common alcohol situation whereby you go out and start drinking and dont stop.Once a week or even once every few months does not matter,it is just another form of alcoholism….we just know it as binge drinking.This is the classic example of a nation’s mis-definition of what alcoholism is, as it can not be classed into one category,it is a panoramic phenomenon.
I personally have never woken up in the morning and thought I need a drink,the idea I find repulsive but when I do start drinking I am not going to call it a day until I am passed out,my money has run out or I am just too wasted to carry on.The desire for another drink is always stronger than the will power to say no,if that is not a form of alcoholim then what is to be honest?
Apart from the obvious hangovers what I do find extremely hard to confront is the shame and the guilt of how I have conducted myself.My attention will stay on these events often indefinitely and the penalty for this is inner turmoil,the actual fact that I will go back and do it all over again I personally think is because I kind of feel determined to conquer the problem and stop getting beat by the booze everytime and I think that is the real problem really and maybe one should just admit that it is something that I just have to leave alone,permanently.Either way,walking this path and carrying all the repercussions is something that I would not wish on anyone as it is a burden and a curse and the inner shame and sadness it creates are nightmarish.
Good luck,this is not an easy problem to deal with.
Wow, Kingpin and Miles, I totally relate to what you both are saying. I too can go without drinking for months then I get some type of urge and I think, man I need a night out! Then it’s all on, the drinks flow, I get trashed, act stupidly and do and say things I find completely embarrassing the next day, dwelling on it for so long, feeling depressed about it. I am a very normal, kind, conservative person but when I drink I am horrible, my friends say it’s like I have a split personality when I drink and it’s horrible. I have hurt so many people I love because of my drunken escapades. And I keep doing it, from the age of 15 years old (i’m 30 now) I have been drinking to excess most times I drink, normalising it the days after! Reading everyones posts makes me realise that I cannot just have one drink and stop. I have a binge drinking problem and I need to change. Thanks for the inspiration. Jazz.
Wow Miles. What a well written and insightful post. Thank you for these words. I too agree with all that you said and am just coming to terms with my own problem. Though I know I cannot drink alcohol without eventually ruining my marriage and my life, my devilish alcoholic side keeps saying, “come on, you don’t get plowed EVERY time you drink, only 80% of the time. Proof that you can handle your liquor.” I know this is not right. Maybe I have had “good” days of drinking, but the shame and guilt of so many “bad” days can’t be worth it. Now that I have accepted this, I am being haunted with fear about my lifestyle change, talking to friends or family who may not fully support me not being their “drinking buddy”, someone they can invite to happy hour, or have over for a party. But, I guess that’s why most in AA say, ‘one day at a time.’ If we think so far ahead, we are sure to fail. Thank you.
this is my first time to visit this website, in fact my first time to own up to myself that altough i dont belive im an alchoholic, alchohol is well on its way to ruining my life. I have always held a responsible job and have two fantastic children whom i adore. Relationships on the other hand, have and continue to suffer. I am in a relationship currently with a lovely, supportive man , who has unfortunately a big social circle, due to his business, requiring us to regulary attend parties, celebrations and family parties. I have always been a heavy binge drinker, in that when i start, i just dont know when to stop! As much as i can persuade myself beforehand that i will stick to only a few, when out in good company, and atmosphere, one turns into twenty. I find i lose my inhibitions, am unable to rationalise my thoughts, often becoming jealous and paranoid, occasionally aggressive, stubborn, and generally uncontrollable. This is always towards the end of the nite, which ends in me embarassing myself and especially my partner. thus, at present he is reluctant to take me out, as he feels on eggshells, as to if i am going to kick off. I feel sad and rather pathetic writing this, as i am generally a sensible, intelligent 29 year old, with many friends, who may i add have been very patient over the years. I dont know what to do other than give up drinking altogether, which if im honest i would hate, as i am on occasions very able to enjoy the odd glass of wine. Does anybody have a similar story and perhaps some advice?
many thanks, lis x
I feel so strongly on the subject of binge drinking that I have decided to write a book about it and furthermore as I am also an authority on this subject due to my own unrestrained excess I have invited people through Facebook to contribute their own stories in an attempt to portray the reality of it and therefore ultimately help people because they need help.
I hope the moderator allows me to post this link:
http://www.new.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12699304511
God im a alky n i didnt know it!! Im so upset wanna sort me life out. know why im drinkng at mo n agree about the smoking and drink bit. i packed in smoking yr ago an drink like fish now! But only want fag when had drink. Addictive personality definitly. need help a lone drinker.
really upset now need to start smking again
Another relationship has again ended for me. I am now 50 and alone. Sure was married twice and was ingaged just 4 years ago, and I just met a wonderful man just this year. Thought I was on top of the world. Finally I had found someone that excepts me however that did not last long. After 8 months of beleiving I was worthy of the love given and thought that life could not get any better we just now broke up.
It is again related to my binge drinking. As quoted by him “I am like a bomb shell waiting to go off and never knowing when”. i don’t drink everyday but frequently and I don’t party till I puck so to speak everytime I drink. Just if sonmeting in my life was no running smoothly or problems at work or stress which everyone knows is now a dasys and everyday occurance. I had been doing it I guess about twice a week due to loneliness I think before I met the golfer then lower it now to about once or twice a month and I tried to do it when he was busy doing his thing, golfing and me camping. Until last weekend on Hallowe’en I joined some friends at my local while he was golfing. I knew I had had too much to drive so called for a ride. I do not even remember getting in the car. I guess i fell asleep in the car he left me for a while then went to get m,e and major fight which I have no recollection of. Hence we have broken up.
I know I have to make changes. I think if I just control it to 1 or 2 pints I would be OK because like others have said it is like a switch goes off. I am sober now for several days ,
Will this work for me? Will I have to quit all together? I as well do not want to go to the out dated AA. Any Ideas:
Miles- that is exactly how I feel. you have summed it up in one. I do think that i must definitely have a problem with alcohol. I go out once a week / 2 weeks and binge until i almost pass out, and the utter shame i feel afterwards is truly unbearable. i feel like i have let myself down and i feel so ashamed that lots of people i see out will have seen me in that state and i just feel like they will think im a complete idiot. im intelligent, i have a good job, good relationship and family but when i go out and i drink so much i cant stop and im so scared ill ruin everything, particularly as i get angry when im drunk and start accusing people of things. i think i am depressed and i need to work on my self esteem. reading other peoples accounts has made me think that i should give up alcohol altogether. i feel really sad
i was drinkin 24/7 vodka im on librium at mo avent had a drink for over a week im dying for 1 but i cant just have the 1 i was wakin up havin a drink being sick an drinkin straight after been on an off for yrs but this is it for the last time ive realised i cant have another drink not even a mouthful! i nearly lost all my family thru it but just got them back in time. noway am i loosing my family for drink!
I am a binge drinker. 32 years of age now and have been drinking excessively since about 18. I’ve had periods of months where I haven’t drunk but I still do the binge/all-nighters (which are great fun at the time), especially as I have just been left by my girlfriend from the most serious and important 5 year relationship of my life, for which my drinking was partly to blame, and I am very depressed about it.
I am in a situation where I have lost all confidence and feel a million miles away from the possibility of meeting another girl, I am crippled by shyness and feelings of inadequacy in social situations which is very easily remedied (or so t feels at the time) by drinking, problem is, like many here, after a few drinks all common sense goes out the window and the booze/cigarettes flow all night.
My friends often comment that I never even seem that drunk, and apart from saying the odd embarrassing thing sometimes it’s not my behaviour while drunk that’s a problem, but the anxiety and depression of the hang-over, which even after just one night of drinking can last into the middle of my working week and is often unbearable, bad enough to affect my work, makes me call in sick too often, suffer heart palpitations, insomnia, paranoia, chest pains, memory loss, panic and anxiety attacks, one time I was even sure I was having a heart attack, you name it I suffer it during a hang-over. These severe hang-overs have only been happening for about a year, but now they happen almost every time, like I have used up my last ‘Get out of drunkeness free’ card as it were and I am now forced to face a life of sobriety, which scares me as I need alcohol to enjoy social situations. I have tried going out and not drinking but it’s almost impossible and I will often just start drinking or give up and go home after the frustration of my shyness and self-consciousness problems gets too much. I don’t think I’ve had any success with femails without the aid of social lubrication, even all three of my long-term relationships have been inititiated in drinking situations, bars, parties etc. I feel like I cannot live with or without alcohol.
Miles and Sarah,
I feel the same as you both. Im so embarrassed ive cried all day about how ashamed i am of how i acted i have everything i could possibly want but this one problem of binge drinking is going to fuck everything up. I cant drink ever again it is my only option. I dont think it would bother me either i dont crave to have a drink but when i do have a drink i drink and drink and drink until i pass out. I dont have much of a hangover which is surprising but the turmoil i am going through is horrible i feel depressed i feel like i would do anything to go back and have not had the first drink. I have hit rock bottom and im so angry with myself. I cant even remember what i did i made a few phone calls and have no idea what i was saying but it cant have been good.
u sound like like u r describing me. do u all drink daily. i do so well then have a bender and put myself right back where i started. I m wondering if i am depressed without knowing it and it coming through in my drinking. I feel i ve lost me somewhere along the way and need to get my life back on track but don t even know where to start
tee
I’m in the same boat as Kingpin/Miles/et al.
I can abstain completely no problem, its drinking in moderation that I have a problem with. I don’t ever feel like I NEED alcohol to function – but every once in a while I will waay over-do it. But drinking in social situations is practically mandatory..
For some reason, about 10% of the time I drink, a switch goes off and I think it would be a good idea to get really, really drunk. Most times I can have 4-5 drinks in an evening and stop and I’m fine, but sometimes that switch goes off and I get hammered. I end up doing stupid/embarrassing/dangerous stuff.
I think the only solution is to limit myself to 3 drinks per evening. While it may be boring to stay that sober while everyone else goes a little further, I think its the only answer to keep myself from going way too far. Binge drinking is just too unhealthy and interferes too much with enjoying life. And losing memory is just scary – and what’s the point in having fun with friends if you can’t remember it? Plus, I don’t want to end up with alcohol-induced dementia.
So from now on, 3 drinks max – no exceptions. Wish me luck.
You think you guys have it bad. I was in Vegas and someone knicked my bank card and pin and basically cleared me out. Had I not been BINGE drinking this never would have happened. The Bank is investigating but I know I am on the hook for $5000. After seeing my dwindled bank account I realize the errors of my ways. The fraud investigation group were asking me questions that I should have been able to answer. Like How much money did you last withdraw from your bank account. Where did you withdraw it.
I am 32 and have binge drinked since I was 22. It just started out as once a week continued. As I graduated and got better jobs I earned more and spent more and moved up to 2 days. I’d convince myself I did not have a problem because I only did it 1-2 days a week. Hell I did not need a drink everyday.
This last event and others and have proven that I have a problem. I am quiting cold turkey. Lets hope I make it. Looking for a reason to quite I’ll give you $5000.
The site attracted me with the ,”Binge Drinker” article. So, I got to reading – not all, of course, as I’ve heard it all. I was sober for 10 years following a hell of a lifespan with alcohol. Interesting how all the so called “worst parts of my life sober are far better than the best ones drunk”, can be forgotten in so short a period of time!! Anyway, I suppose it has to do with the fact that I never did believe a Higher Power was going to get me through the subsequent pain of mom and then dad dying. After that, the family fell apart and so did my marriage. I went back into rehab and despite their best efforts, I simply do not like myself enough. That’s it!! Unless you like yourself, you are doomed!
Make sure your loved one is young and in a position to determine they want their life to go on… then intervene!! By all means, please intervene…
By the way, Ms. CanadianDisaster – you owe me $5000.
Al