Online Alcohol Therapy

Anxiety ruins many people’s lives, and lessens the enjoyment of it for most of us. It’s focus can be anything, from the seemingly trivial to the life threatening.

Of course the solution that many people find is through alcohol. This can provide temporary but undoubtedly effective relief – allowing us to relax again and get on with life without being so preoccupied. But alcohol does not actually allow us to deal with our anxiety or manage the situations provoking it, so we fail to develop our resources.

Anxiety arises as a result of our interpretations of a situation as being in some way threatening or unpleasant. This is then combined with our perception of our ability to cope with that threat.

For example, two people are experiencing the exact same event – the possibility that they will lose their job. The anxiety prone person might think -
“but I’ll never find another job, I’m not good enough. I won’t have enough money, I won’t be able to cope – I’ll lose my house”. Obviously thoughts like that will tend to create anxiety.

The other person facing the same situation might think -
“I can get another job easy enough, I’m adaptable. Money might be a bit tight for a while, but I can cope with that”.

So if the first person can learn to adjust their perception of their abilities, they might not get so anxious, and they might not feel the need to drink so much alcohol as a result. Those perceptions and beliefs happen so automatically, we often forget that we have a degree of choice over them.

Unfortunately alcohol consumption tends to exacerbate anxiety levels subsequently – firstly by causing disruption to the nervous system, secondly by creating situations likely to induce further worry. A spiral of increasing use causing increasing anxiety can develop.

Anxious people tend to have a central belief about themselves as being helpless – they underestimate their ability to cope. Although, they are often aware that their fears are exaggerated.

Five key questions can be used to challenge the initial perception of threat and the appraisal of your coping ability:

• What alternative interpretations could I make about this situation?
• What concrete, factual evidence do I have to back-up or deny these beliefs?
• What is the worst that could really happen, and how would that ultimately affect me?
• What positive action can I take to manage this?
• What are the pros and cons of me continuing with these negative thoughts I’m having?

Coupled with some simple relaxation techniques like keeping aware of your breathing, you can soon lessen your anxiety to a tolerable level. If you can adjust the way you interpret the world, and thus not feel so worried about it, then you may not need to drink so much alcohol to cope.

Is there an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous? Do the 12 steps really work? These are questions that most alcoholics will ask when they decide that they want to change.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) originated in Akron, Ohio in the 1930′s from religious individuals grouping together to solve their alcoholism. The 12 steps soon emerged as a formula for all addicts to follow if they were to stay sober.

From the very beginning, complete abstinence was seen as the only answer. Of course this does work for some people, but clearly not for everyone.

Figures for how effective the 12 step recovery process is are impossible to find. Estimates suggest only about 5% of people who attend meetings regularly stay sober for more than a year. Not much more than the placebo effect really.

However, AA and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) do develop networks of community support, which is undoubtedly very positive. The support given is from other addicts or alcoholics of course, not trained professionals. And by their very nature the meetings are public access, anyone can attend, so they are clearly not anonymous (especially when you are required to state your name).

The main objection many people have to the philosophy is its rigidity, and there are references to relinquishing personal responsibility. The reams of cheap slogans don’t help much either.

Ok, so anyone who hasn’t seen them before must be wondering, what are these 12 steps then? Here you are – Read the rest of this entry »

If you are trying to cut down your alcohol use, even if you are mostly successful, there will inevitably be times when you will relapse and have a binge. Don’t be put off by this, you haven’t failed. What is important here is to learn from your mistakes and work out how you could do things differently next time.

What was it about that situation that caused you to drink more than you intended? Was it a particular trigger that you couldn’t avoid (birthdays or a bereavement for instance)? Or was it a trigger that has caught you out before? If so, you need to work out some different ways to deal with it.

Many relapses occur as a result of the beliefs you may hold about alcohol. For instance if you believe that you “can’t cope with these feelings” and so you “need a drink otherwise you’ll lose the plot”, or if you believe that the only way you can be sociable is after a drink, then obviously these beliefs will tend to make you relapse.

The beliefs you have about your cravings or urges will also determine how easy it is to avoid relapse. So again, if you believe that once you get a craving, it won’t go away until you have a drink, then every craving you get becomes very risky. Similarly, if you believe that you don’t have the mental strength to cope with your cravings, then of course you probably won’t. Your beliefs are self-fulfilling.

What you need to do now is find out what your beliefs are, and more importantly how accurate they are. This means testing out your beliefs by looking at the evidence. Most of our problems in life arise from inaccurate beliefs about ourselves and how the world works. But this is where you might need a counsellor or a therapist, because it’s very difficult to be objective and impartial about your own thoughts.

» Try this test to see what your negative beliefs about alcohol or drug use might be.

» Then try this one to examine what your beliefs about cravings are.

Coping with cravings is the key to tackling alcoholism. If you can manage to not give in to your cravings, or you can adapt so that you don’t get so many cravings in the first place, then there is no more addiction is there?

How you view your own cravings will determine how much power they have over you. If you believe that a craving won’t naturally go away once it has started, or if you think that the only way to deal with a craving is to drink, then of course you will be fairly powerless over them. This is the cognitive component of your addiction.

Making yourself aware of what things in your life tend to give you cravings, and therefore how you might avoid those situations, becomes a vital skill. For those ‘triggers’ that you can’t avoid, you can learn how to deal with them differently.

Lets say there are four types of cravings:

• a reaction to withdrawal symptoms
• escaping from unpleasant feelings (boredom, depression, anxiety etc.)
• a response to a learnt association (people, places etc)
• enhancing a positive mood

Each type requires a different approach to deal with it. And each person’s approach will be unique to them.

There are six recognised methods for dealing with cravings when they occur:

Read the rest of this entry »

The process of changing your habits towards alcohol is not something that happens overnight. You are learning new skills to replace your old behaviours, and this will take some time. How long it takes of course varies from person to person.

Firstly you have to decide how you will know when you have changed? What will be the signs that you have been successful? These are questions that most people find difficult to answer. Ok, so you don’t drink so much any more, you feel a bit more clear-headed and happier – but have you made the changes in your life that you really wanted at the start?

So, to answer the main question another way – you might well see reductions in your level of consumption within a week or two, but that may not mean you have made enough changes to sustain that improvement.

Usually when people decide to seek help for their alcohol problems, it is not just the actual level of their drinking that bothers them, it’s their emotional problems, their ability to cope with the stress in their lives, the number of crises they create. So reducing consumption is only one part of the overall changes someone might be hoping for.

So perhaps the initial question is a little too vague to be answered accurately. Being more specific in your expectations will lead to more informative answers. So maybe ask some questions like these instead:

“How long will it take me to learn other ways to relax?”
“How soon can I expect to communicate better with my family?”
“When will I be able to get through a whole day without even thinking about a drink?”
“Will I feel that I’m a good person again soon?”

Beating addiction is not a process of being told what to do differently, or learning the tricks that you were possibly lacking, those secrets which people without an addiction surely must have. No, it doesn’t work like that.

Overcoming addiction is more to do with learning about yourself, learning how you tick, what beliefs you hold, some of which you might not even be aware of, which contribute to your problems.

Most of our behaviours are very automatic, we do things without thinking too deeply about the consequences, most of the time. We are animals, just like the rest of nature, and we respond in the same way they do. Like Pavlov’s famous dogs – if you show us something that we’ve seen before, we often respond to it in a pre-programmed or learnt way. If you smell some lovely fresh food being cooked, you’ll start to produce saliva. You will also probably think certain thoughts as a result, again often automatically (though they might not FEEL automatic). Some of these thoughts are so subtle and you have them so often, you might not even notice them.

With addiction the initial event can be anything – being bored, feeling lonely, angry, disappointed, frustrated, tired. From that thought you might think something like “I can’t stand feelings like this, I must change this feeling”. Again, this thought might not be a loud one in your head, its just a way of dealing with the world and your feelings that has become automatic.

So, in a situation like this, you’ll find something to get rid of this unpleasant feeling you’ve got – “I know what will change my mood, a drink…” or some cocaine, or whatever your problem is with (whereas someone without addiction problems might choose to accept that feeling for a while, or find a less destructive way to change the feeling).

So, to change your addictive habits, you firstly need to understand fully how they work, what you are doing to sustain them. Then you can slowly relearn some healthier ways to deal with life, with your unpleasant feelings.