Coping with Alcohol Cravings
Coping with cravings is the key to tackling alcoholism. If you can manage to not give in to your cravings, or you can adapt so that you don’t get so many cravings in the first place, then there is no more addiction is there?
How you view your own cravings will determine how much power they have over you. If you believe that a craving won’t naturally go away once it has started, or if you think that the only way to deal with a craving is to drink, then of course you will be fairly powerless over them. This is the cognitive component of your addiction.
Making yourself aware of what things in your life tend to give you cravings, and therefore how you might avoid those situations, becomes a vital skill. For those ‘triggers’ that you can’t avoid, you can learn how to deal with them differently.
Lets say there are four types of cravings:
- a reaction to withdrawal symptoms
- escaping from unpleasant feelings (boredom, depression, anxiety etc.)
- a response to a learnt association (people, places etc)
- enhancing a positive mood
Each type requires a different approach to deal with it. And each person’s approach will be unique to them.
There are six recognised methods for dealing with cravings when they occur:
- distraction
- coping flashcards
- imagery
- rational responses to automatic thoughts
- activity
- relaxation
Distraction – the goal of these methods is to move a person’s attention away from negative internal thoughts or uncomfortable feelings, towards a more neutral external focus. They seem simple, but can all be effective -
- concentrate on your surroundings and describe them to yourself in detail, this can be quite ‘grounding’ when you feel like you’re losing it.
- talk to someone, anyone. A trusted friend, relative, your counsellor or even a total stranger if need be. It can help you get away from that loop running in your head.
- change the scenery – go for a walk, a drive, a bike ride, just get away from wherever you are right now.
- oddly enough, cleaning or other household chores can be perfectly distracting if you’re craving, and you might feel some sense of achievement too.
- video games (or indeed the old fashioned kind) can require enough concentration and challenge to take your mind off it, and of course, you can play them alone.
- I’m sure you can think of some other things to do which are distracting and enjoyable.
Coping Flashcards – when you’re in the grip of a strong craving, it’s hard to think rationally and remember all the things you’re supposed to. So writing yourself some instructions on a small index card can be useful. (This helps tremendously for people with anxiety too). The priority is to convince yourself that you can cope with this situation. Here’s a few examples of things you might write -
- things are going well with my partner right now, I don’t want to mess it up
- this craving will pass if I just give it time
- I’m not helpless here, what action can I take?
- what are the pros and cons right now?
Imagery – there are a few different types of imagery which can work -
- command your craving to STOP (see a big stop sign), then refocus on a relaxing location of your choice – a favourite peaceful spot.
- if you start remembering good times when you were drinking, then replace that image with the bad times, your lowest ebb when you felt ashamed and disgusted, do you want to end up back there?
- if it’s negative, depressing images that are giving you cravings, then imagine an optimistic view of your near future, with friends or family, having fun without a drink (or any other positive image).
- if you know you’ve got an event coming up which will give you cravings – try rehearsing the image in your head of you dealing with it appropriately. Run through the feelings you’ll have so you are not caught off-guard by them.
Rational Responses to Automatic Thoughts – whenever you feel a craving, ask yourself “what thoughts are going through my head right now”. Many of the thoughts you are having will themselves be responsible for your craving. It becomes a matter of responding to those thoughts in a more rational way.
- look for evidence to back up or contradict your thought and ask yourself:
- can I look at this situation differently?
- if what I’m thinking is true, what really are the consequences?
- what is likely to happen if I carry on thinking like this?
- what positive action can I take to solve this problem?
Try not to make such catastrophic predictions about your cravings, like “there’s no way I can stand this, so I might as well just drink and get it over with”, “I keep having cravings, so I must be an alcoholic, I can’t beat this…” etc. Cravings usually subside fairly quickly anyway, so just ride it out if need be.
Activity – if you’ve had an addiction to drink for a long time, then you’ve probably not got many hobbies left. In fact quite often, drinking is the only activity you actually do for fun. So when you try and stop, boredom is the biggest hurdle. There’s no way around it – you’re going to have to try some new activities.
When you’ve found a few that you like, make sure you schedule them in every week:
“On Tuesday I’m going swimming, on Thursday I’m going to the cinema with Sally, on Saturday I’m getting out to the countryside for a walk with my partner.”
It will feel weird to some to plan your week this way, but in the early stages of recovery from addiction, it’s essential.
Relaxation – Anxiety, Anger, Frustration and Stress are amongst the biggest triggers for cravings. So learning some relaxation techniques can be a life-saver. If you’re not so tense, you’re less likely to act impulsively. And if you’ve been using alcohol to relax for years, then you are going to have to learn some other methods. Try these:
Simple Relaxation
More Relaxation Techniques
BBC – Relaxation
It will take a while to learn these new techniques, as with any new skill, but keep at it and you’ll be floating around on a cloud of calm like the best Buddhist masters. Well, hopefully…
Remember – It’s just a craving, it won’t kill you. But drinking might…
Read more ways to cope with alcohol cravings…
I’ve spent a lot of time trawling websites and filling in quizzes to see if I’m a ‘problem drinker’ and because I don’t crave a drink first think in the morning and because I can hold down a job etc I’ve convinced myself that I’m fine. But at heart, I know I’m not and I can relate so much to so many of these posts. Basically I don’t know how to fill my evening without at least a bottle of wine and at social occasions I am always the one that has had too much – not behaving outrageously, but obviously a bit drunk. I know I’m sending a very poor message to my children and have decided to stop for a month (to see if I can do it) I know that I immediately sleep better when I haven’t had a drink but I give into cravings almost immediately. As many others have said, this is the site that seems to most fit ‘where I am at at the moment’.
Hi Katie,
26 year old male here – I feel I fall into the same category as you. I completed my four year university degree and have a good career thus far in a stressful industry, and have never let alcohol interfere with my education or work.
However: I cannot stand not having a few drinks (4-6) on weekday nights, and 10-12 on weekends. I am usually the most drunk in social situations, and I cannot stand doing social events without drinking.
I have confided in a close friend, and he has helped me a bit. I was on the way to the liquor store tonight, he helped convince me to stay away and eventually we just returned back to the house without booze.
I know this behaviour is not normal, but I do not feel that I am a complete degenerative drunk…it just makes it difficult to admit what I really am.
I totally am with you two. i work nights in the restaurant biz and i find by the end of the night all i want is a glass of wine which leads to another and then cigs and then a shot at the bar. i don’t get wasted but clearly its a problem as i spend$15 on a cab ride everytime i do this, and some what hungover the next day. Then i have to take my wife to work in the am and get the car. I can see this routine getting old and want to fight these urges and save my cocktail hour with my wife on weekends.
I’m also 26. I found myself in an AA meeting one morning after a heavy night drinking. This is where I found people to help with my drinking problem. Hey, they’re free and only an hour long
Hi Mary, it looks like youre trully triying to quit drinking and to be honest it is not something you should go it alone. i tried and it was not fun. i had what doctors call “Dt’s”. not to scare you but if you have been drinking for a long period of time and try to cut down, or whorse quit it could be dangerous. i dranked every afternoon for about 10 yrs and tried tapering down to fall pray to “dt’s”. i enrolled my self in a detox center(a little getto but cheap compared to $6,000 others were tring to charge me). i can say that it was the best decision of my life, 5 days sober, cravings like you would not belive but pushing foward! i live in florida and i went to a place called center for drug free living and they fixed me rigth up! i dont use other drugs, im very sussesfull, but not perfect. get help and get better! god bless! ps: it only took 48 hrs
and about 5 pills called librium.
I drink about once a week but when I do I get completely drunk. I used to drink almost daily but have cut down considerably. I drink about once a week now but I still get annihilated and I do not understand why. I crave alcohol so much it becomes unbearable sometimes but I fight it and then give in that one day per week. Then when I am drunk I become very agitated and I get very political and assume everyone is a complete moron except for me. At times I will act out and in the morning I have some apologizing to do. This gets old and I am trying to fight it but it is incredibly difficult. I have quit smoking and havent done that in about over a year and that was a piece of cake compared to this. I have some anger issues but in most respects my anger is actually directed at things that people should be angry with. I feel like I am surrounded by people who simple do not give a shit and allow things to occur because that is the easy way. Anyway, I need to try and stop period because once I start on a drink I simply cannot stop.
I understand completely where you are coming from – I have 3 children, 2 jobs and a husband away for most of the week – my “treat” at the end of the day is usually a large glass of wine – which generally turns into a bottle and I always drink the most when I go out (which is often)… the odd days I don’t drink I feel marvellous… I truly want to quit to be an inspiration to my daughters, and basically I’m scared I’ll be dead in ten years. I am physically fit and look ok. The drinking also triggers bulimia. I’ve tried to see counsellors but as nobody can look after the children I always have to stop after a while. I just need the motiviation to quit – I think i’m socially not very confident which doesn’t help but I think I have a deep found belief that life is a bit more fun after a few drinks and until i can get rid of this belief it is hard to want to quit
hi there
know exactly what you mean…have one daughter myself and know how much i long for that relaxing ‘reward’ glass (which becomes bottle) at the end of the day..its become the only thing i look forward to and how i manage stress boredom depression etc…have been totally unable to stop or cut down and really worried about health, sanity and effect on daughter. i left my daughters father a year ago after meeting someone i fell in love with who was a recovering alcoholic and two years sober..very involved in aa. hte relationship has deteriorated as his problems have taken over and i’ve become increasingly addictive over him. hidden my drinking from him until finally told him today.
Liz,
I don’t know how to reply to you but has it helped talking to your partner… doens’t help with mine…. i’d love to know how its gone… thinking of you
Hi Katie,
I’m now 52 and started drinking when I was 14. It started with cider and as I got older progressed onto bourbon and all manner of concoctions. I did it to escape (or so I thought) my abusive dad but now my teen years are a bit of a blur. I didn’t drink that often at first but as I got older I drank more and more. I have had a rotten time with relationships, thought I’d hit paydirt when I dated a teetotaller because I gave up too…. then a year later he assaulted me in what was to be referred to as a ‘relapse’… the guy was an alcoholic – what luck eh? I dumped him after much angst and several more ‘events’ and stayed sober for a whole two years, until he decided to stalk me and a well meaning girlfriend came over one night with a bottle of wine and it all started again.
Now I live in the US and am quite the career drinker. I also am an artiste of sorts, no not a piss artist, but am a singer. I’ve always been able to hold down a job, and a relationship… but last Wednesday when my other half was out at a work meeting in the evening I drank a third of a bottle of whiskey and woke with the customary hangover and thought to myself. Why?
Seems like a stupid question but I couldn’t answer it. Yes I have serious money worries and no job (laid off) but I have a wonderful man in my life and great kids in England but that really doesn’t seem worth the self loathing and yucky hangovers. I’ve not had a drink since. It’s really hard this time though. I’m bored so I want a drink. I’m worried about money so I want a drink. I’m tired and depressed etc., etc.,
But I have to stick with this. I told my fella I wanted to quit because I can’t afford it (which is a half truth) but to be totally honest I owe it to ME…
There have been no shakes, no DT’s… some moody moments and some amazing dreams (last night I dreamt I talked to President Obama) and a real haunting exhaustion. Boredom will be my downfall if anything…
I hope I can make it this time. AA is too churchy and feels like acting. Going to a doctor is way down the line if I can’t do it by myself, but I’ll give it my best shot and like you, will take each day as it comes.
Best of luck to you all… be strong, you all have it in you, even me…
I love to drink. I have always loved to drink. I have recently stopped drinking to focus on being a more healthy productive person, and thus far I have done well. I never drink any alcohol, I exersize every morning before work, I sleep wonderfully, I secured a better job, and I never send embarrassing txt messages, make embarassing phone calls, or do any other silly inappropriate drunken behaviour. Overall, I feel so very much better and I feel like I can hold my head up high. BUT… I want to drink. Drinking inspires me. Basically it inspires me to drink more, but it also inspires me to paint, to dance, to feel happy and alive. I have been to one AA meeting. I don’t want to go all the time, but I do need some help abstaining. boo hoo i want a drink badly
Hey M:
I know just how you feel! While I cannot say that I have always loved to drink, I can totally relate to loving it. Drinking inspires me too, as I am an artist, it is a particular paradox for me. I have reached a point where I am determined to stop drinking.
I will never go to an AA meeting as it is too church-like for me and I have preacher’s kid issues to add to my list
.
Don’t give up. I’m not.
i love to drink also,10 cans of lager every day with no breaks. but i still hold down a job and a partner and child,but its taking its toll, been to nhs specialist who says to cut down by one beer a week, which is proving harder than stopping straight away. i just wanna be clean and have the drugs to help abstain,aa isnt for me either, to live in eternal misery using just willpower seems ridiculous. im spending at least 300 a month on beer,the fats building up,im getting fed up of it,but cant stand the thought of a day without it,how stupid?
Karen,
You are hitting my nail right on the head……..
I enjoy drinking my vino and have now tried to limit myself to once a week and 1 bottle but it usually ends up being 2 bottles a week, 1 bottle each sitting.
My drinking has caused me to gain almost 40 lbs because when I drink late nite I have to eat afterwards.
I drink when I am home, do not drink and drive and will have a few at a social where I am not driving but 95% of the time it is my home and I live alone.
I would love to support you and could use some support too.
It’s important for me to lose wieght now and the easiest way for me to do that is to stop drinking !
M,
I drink too much. I do not drink because I have a problem, I just like to drink alcohol withits asociated affects.
I think after 25 years of drinking my health is poor. I don’t look bad and I look youngish!
I need help to stop as I know I will kill myself with the stuff
regards
Richard
Hi Rich: I feel the same way sometimes; as though if I continue down the same path, that it will kill me.
I struggle with lonliness, post divorce, and at 51 years old, this is the first time I have EVER lived alone. I love it and I hate it all at the same time. Most of all, it’s terrible not having anyone to talk to in the evenings.
But I adore my daughters and my three grandsons, none of my family is aware of how much I drink. I do not EVER want them to know, so this is my motivation to make better choices about alcohol. I recognize that waking up safe and sound this morning is the finest gift of all and I am NOT going to blow it.
Rich, I wont give up, so YOU dont give up. We’re in this together.
Karen
How did you do this? I really need to stop and would love to know how you went about doing this? By the way, I workout everyday, I train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and am fairly physically active but this is a crutch I am having serious problems with fighting. Thanks
thanks for the encouragment Karen!
I wish this struggle was easier… i still have only the one AA meeting under my belt, and I’m unsure if I want to go again, mostly because of what you said about it being church-like, and also it’s just a lot of work to go talk for a few minutes with others in a basement about not drinking… idk… I’d really like to know why I crave a nice glass of wine so badly, only to end up finishing the bottle. It’s crazy, and I am not at all the crazy sort. good luck to you too 
Hi Guys
I am myself not a drinker but currently my husband has just come home this morning from an in-patient alcohol withdrawal treatment with two weeks of daily therapy sessions ahead of him for the psychosocial coverage part of the therapy he needs desperately. Just in reply to earlier comments made on this site, my husband also is an extremely intelligent person who is considered as one of the top experts WORLDWIDE in his field of his profession. He is the most stubborn person I have ever come across in so far as he has the dedication, devotion and willpower to achieve everything he puts his mind to. No word of a lie, the man is literally unstoppable……HOWEVER……
He has absolutely NO CONTROL over alcohol. Over the years his alcohol usage has steadily risen from what most people would not consider to be a problem to the point that he is now consuming an amount that has even astounded his current consultant Psychiatrist who is a specialist in Alcohol Abuse.
He has gone from someone who would go to work with double pneumonia in order to not have a sick day to someone who would prefer to stay at home and drink all day.
His health is what has caused him to finally seek treatment. He has gone from being super healthy to having re-occuring severe bouts of Pancreatitis and constantly picking up every bug going around due to his immune system becoming so compromised from the alcohol related issues his body has been subjected to.
So for the guy before who asked why he craves a nice glass of wine only to end up consuming the whole bottle, you are not alone. You are not crazy and you do not need to have a crazy disposition to become a victim of Alcoholism. As my husband proves, even the strongest willed people are totally unable to control this addiction.
But there is help out there guys. It has taken me years, and a series of serious health issues to finally get my husband to get the help he needs. And its not to say he will overcome this first time around. It is statistically proven that most people will have a series of lapses, if not relapses before they can successfully be able to manage the addiction and remain abstinate. So PLEASE don’t give up hope because as a relative of someone I love very very much who I have watched gradually almost kill himself with alcohol, you will be doing yourself AND your loved ones the best thing possible to get help and do whatever you can to overcome this illness. Good luck and God Bless you all. x
Thank you for this posting, Kate, truly! Blessings to you and your family.
That’s great but you didn’t share with us the specifics behind your husband’s drinking. Maybe sharing that can help some of us on here relate and create a clearer path towards recovery as well.
I have not had a drink since Thursday. This is a big deal as I can’t remember the last time I drank nothing at the weekend.
I had a great weekend. A few wine cravings over good food and in good company. (Was asked if I was pregnant due to drinking coffee and water. It does not help when the expectation is for everyone to polish off a bottle of wine in two hours!) But I abstained. Only because I am on Metronidazole!
I shall be clear to drink from Saturday. I hope I don’t.
I have had a problem for ten years. I have been threatened by my Partner 3 times in a month he will leave me if I ever drink again. I drank again, and now his bags are packed and he’s says he is going. He doesnt go. It is head working. However, amongst all this emotional termoil, all I want to do is drink. I feel so scared. Last week I did 10 days straight with no alcohol, and I felt fantastic. I went away to see my Son for two days and we had fun, and although I wanted a drink fleetingly, when we were dining out, I overcame the craving somehow. The distractrion was my Son, who didnt want me to drink and the thought of my Partner going. He hurts me so much when he says Im mental, and Im going to die inevitably. He doesnt believe me when I say I am going to meetings even though I go 5 times a week. At this moment I feel lonely and frightened, and I want a drink. I too am an intelligent, kind, functioning, loyal and usually sensible person. Help me please to over come this ghastly addiction. I wonder sometimes if I really am going mad.
I feel like I am going mad too at times but I think its just people like us who find incredibly difficult to coexist in a world where so much sorrow takes place and we numb our minds of this reality by this medium – alcohol.
Hi,
My son is an alcoholic. He is at present trying to stop, but he will not accept yet that an alcoholic cannot just drink a few drinks, a bottle of wine once a week even, a true alcoholic has to stop. The reason being, like a nut allergy, it can kill, because this creates a chemical imbalance in the brain, so someone allergic to nuts must abstain from eating nuts.
The same goes for alcohol, an alcoholic must abstain from alcohol as this causes a chemical imbalance in the brain, which creates the cravings. I have read much research into this, and there are lots of ideas from all professions, but i believe this explanation to be true.
My son is not yet ready to accept that he is allergic to alcohol. He does desperately want to stop, i have told him time and time again, if he had been diagnosed with diabetes, he would have to take insulin for life in order to save his, and he must see that in order to stay alive for life, he must not feed his brain the poison that will eventually kill.
I am at my wits end, i can’t force him to stop, no one has the right to force someone to do anything they dont want to, but i cannot watch him do this anymore. I have told him that i love him and will support him, when he finally wants the help, but i cannot come home everynight to see him wasted and ruining his life.
Everyone of my friends have told me, that whilst he is living with me, he wont stop, because it is too easy for him, and after 5 years of it, i think they are right. This is going to be the hardest thing i will ever have to do, but i will have to let go, i will be here waiting for him, and i will ring him daily, and will love to see him when he is sober, but i cant go on with this painfull misery that it is causing.
I would like to hear from anyone else who has a son, in the same position, and did they have to resort to my conclusion.
Good morning all:
I was so pleased to see all the loving and thoughtful responses to my first ever post. I am still struggling, so continue to pray for me.
Still not giving it up, as I know I am worth it. Words of encouragement help a lot, I wish I had logged on sooner!
Thank you again.
Hi Gang
Well, I’m on the second day of giving up again. I seem to have done this hundreds of times over the past ten years (I’m now in my 50′s). Normally, at a pinch I could do about three days dry and then on the evening of the third day I would have a few strong tinnies and follow up over the next few evenings until I started a new three day abstinence.
Unfortunately, over the past few years the periods of abstinence have become rarer and my drinking has started earlier, mid afternoonish. Of course, like so many others once I start I have to continue until I go to sleep. The hangovers have become much worse. I work from home.
I am so fed up with the constant failures, the apathy that drinking produces and the feeling that I am wasting my life by only living at a fraction of my potential.
I like this site because it helps me to objectify what I’m going through because so many others are clearly experiencing something similar. One common thread is the feeling of “boredom” that not drinking produces and the sense of a lack of excitement and colour.
I like to remeber what a good time I have had socially on the few occasions that I decided not to drink.
Hi.We are all in the same boat. I have just joined and today is my second day without a drink but its not 7 am yet. I cant sleep and by day 3 I will really want a drink. I binge to extreme and at 43 I am killing myself.
I know how you feel but this seems like a good site and together we can get through. Finding something else to do is a big part in giving up, if I had the answer to that I would have no problem but drinking is all I know. Its a real life wrecker and a waste of life.
Most of us will have the answers but acting upon them is our biggest hurdle.
I like this site and have only read a few posts but I already realise I am not alone anymore and hope to stay of it. It is a good word for alcohol as I have probably spelt it wrong anyway. So ‘It’ is a better word for me.
Martin
Hi Marek,
Yes you are right boredom, bored out of my skull after 11 days without a drink.
Had to stop BP sky high,its now 6.15pm been in bed since 5.00pm surfing the net to keep my mind off drink. Good luck to everybody its bloody hard, no body understands wife etc… only us guys know what its like.
Kev
I need help. i want to stop drinking. this weekend i have done 24 cans of lager a bottle of whisky and 3 litres of cider. i have started drinking in the morning to get me thru, i stay up till 3 am drinking whisky. its been a decline since 1998. my body is giving up on me i have liver pain every day and sometimes i cant walk for 5 minutes without having to sit down cos the pain is that bad. i have finally become sick of of being drunk and need to stop now. i just dont know how.
Hi Cherry.
Thats alot of stuff. I know because I drink lots to. My liver is killing me now, its not nice at all.
Over the next few days the head aches will start, anxiety and stress but having done 9 whole days of ‘it’ in the past I know things do begin to get better. Then I drank again and here I am a year later.
I will help you because you can help me. Lets try together.
I have to stop in one go because I binge so stopping slowly is not possible I would only drink to oblivion. So I am stopping, sorry stopped this is day 2, just.
If you can reduce your intake try that but do it with the intent on being free of ‘it’.
Or just stop. You will need to see your doctor as detox is dangerous. I see mine at 9AM this morning. I will get Diazepam, it to is adictive, trust me I know. I suffer from serious panic attacks from alcohol abuse and then abuse the diazepam but no more. I am using this months prescription to detox which is the whole ide of taking it. 2 weeks on diazepam will help but only if you completely intend to give up drinking completelly. Its not a quick fix and has actually made me much worse as I have abused both the drugs and the drink so beware.
I have alot of work to do, so do you but we can do it.
Keep in touch on the forum. I have no friends and am the worst of the worst but there is a change a foot. Maybe even a healthier liver.
Martin
I will pray for you !
Stay positive and have more trust in yourself……You can do it !
Hi i had been alcohol free for 13 months and then suddenly back to drinking. This is is a horrible disease, prior to the 13 months abstinence I was 9months and then prior to that weeks. This time i am finding it harder to quit i can go a day then drink then maybe 2 days then back at it but i will continue to try as in the end i know it will only ruin my life. Wishing everyone on this site well
Iris
Hi. Over the past years my alcohol problem has gotten worse, I’m not talking about consuming more than before, but my body doesn’t seem to handle it no more. Too often I wake up the next morning, not remembering what I did the night before. Sometimes my boyfriend even told me I would hit him, while really agression normaly is not part of me. Yesterday I had another wonderful black-out, I remember few flashes, my oh my, what did I do.. Came back from the city by bus, my boyfriend was supposed to pick me up, but I already entered in the state of not behaving in a conscious way. Spent hours walking on the ‘highway’, went to a hotel saying it was my home, lost my wallet and phone, etc.. My boyfriend had called the police and they found me, but today my boyfriend says he wants me to go.. I do want to stop drinking, glad to read on this site how to better deal with cravings. I can imagine why my boyfriend reacts like this, but some help from his side would be nice. Usually we’re such a wonderful couple!
I hate alcohol, than why do I love it so much
hi to everyone on this site first time i have been here and found it very interesting to read and know that there are other people out there just like me.For years i have drunk call it obsessive drinking all day and night through depression,i have gone from drinking every day to binge drinking once a week which i cant control how much i drink because i dont know when to stop.Been through a number of relationships but have broken down because of drinking,in a ideal world would like to give it up totally but dont think that would happen maybe setting a goal to control the drinking so i know when to say no more,good luck to everyone on this site
Hi all
I can relate to all of this – I keep saying I am cutting down but always find an excuse to drink a bottle of wine a day.
I know it is unhealthy and want to cut down – I hope I can get back to responsible drinking, as I don’t want to stop all together, we shall see.
best of luck everyone, nice to know that there are many in the same boat.
I am trying kudzu supplement to reduce craving – will post if it helps!
Hello,
All entries here make for incredibly sad reading. Im not sure if I feel encouraged by not being alone or more fearful of the fact I may not make this.
I have always struggled with alcohol, ever since my dad thought it would be a good idea to get me shitfaced at the age of 8. Im 35 now, haved scewed up one long term relationship, ruined a promising career in the NHS (frightening I know) and ran up 10′s of thousands of pounds on credit cards in order to fund this ridiculous behaviour.
I have stopped in the past, sometimes for several months on end. Alas I always seem to start again. Beginning with a few bottles of wine here and there to drinking pretty much continuously. I face the real prospect of losing my job again and my incredibly loyal wife who has stuck by me through some bloody awful times.
I am appalled at my behaviour and I know I must stop but there is a huge part of me that just doesnt want to abstain despite all the compelling reasons to the contrary.
Im pretty scared that if I dont do it this time Im screwed
Sorry for this depressing posting.
c
I wish they wouldn’t have the image of delicious wine being poured in an aesthetically pleasing fashion. That photograph just exacerbates the problem, but a good article anyway.=)
I feel for you C,
Hey guys, again ( the last time I posted I posted about being angry because of having one sip of wine on my 21st day of sobriety, the next day, or the day after, I’m pretty sure I got drunk at a party and have been going since at least 2/3 time a week)
I know where your coming from. I’ve tried to give it up a lot – many times, and it always seems to come back. I even meditate in a group once in a while and the cravings still come back. I’ve been getting slight abdomal pains lately and might go check this out. I’m on day 4, and yesterday i read a book about it that I liked. It says that we, here are dependent, we are dependent on alchohol because of underlying causes. I’m trying to find out why I am dependent on alchohol. As I read the book memories began floating to my mind of my childhood that I don’t ever like to think about. Bad memories. It wasn’t exactly sexual abuse ( I don’t really know) but when I was very young my friend and I would do weird sexual things, and sometimes I didn’t want to do them. The memories are very painful and I’ve cringed every time they come up. I also have one memory of my dad calling me a “drunk” – a failure – in high school, after I got drunk as the lead player on my basketball team, only to be suspended and fail. I don’t have the money to go to a therapist so I thought I might as well be honest some where. I’ve never liked the term “alchoholic” used in those AA meetings because it has such terrible connotations to it: a drunk, a lousy fuck up, a homeless man, a thief, a womanizer. I found after I went to a few meetings years ago that I began to label my self as this thing. This, actually gave me an excuse many a times to drink, because I would say:
“Well, I am a alcholic, what do alcholics do? We drink and have, or try to have sex with women. So go out there – you alchoholic and drink – because that is what you are.”
“I saw to many depressed people who were labelled alcoholics who clung to the past too much. I always thought it would be a positive thing to live life healthy with out alcohol and cravings for alcohol. Almost all religous and great leaders have. Anyway, I am from here on – dependent on alchohol, I have a dependecy and am now trying to find out and solve the reasons why. This dependecy can be broken, I hope. Maybe not by my self but I can try.
I keep trying to quit this time it is way harder, I can go a day then drink then not, i was pretty happy when i went 2 days in a row, but i know that i need to quit completely, so will keep trying. Best of luck to all those out there. Iris
I did’nt realise how so many people have the same thoughts as me, I have been steadily drinking for the past decade more and more, one evening getting drunk a days break, then another bottle, another days break and another bottle. I do believe I have other issues, and use drink to mask these.
But you know I have had enough, and I am realising how much I missing my life.
This thing is a habit, I do all the same things, week in week out. I feel I have to drink on Saturday so I can be okay for Monday morning work.
If anyone would like to be maybe a buddy on here, and add a few comments or encouragement I would be truly grateful.
Hi,
I am really at my last call here, I dont know what to do anymore. I drink bottle, bottle and a half red wine every day, hide it from my partner. Every morning my memory is going, cant think straight. Am getting ill and I know it. Cant stop, if I try I get physical pain, headaches, shakes so have to drink again. Once I do it stops. I so want to stop forever but it hurts so much, am so need help, I am even considering killing myself to stop this. Seriously I dont know what to do anymore.
Hi
i have been reading your comments, and pray you will all suceed at stopping drinking. I dont think i am an alcoholic…. But i am alcohol dependent, is there a difference? I love wine, my husband and I keep saying that we are not going to drink any more. We both love wine and he likes a pint too at the pub. i am drinking on average one and a half bottles of wine at home and approx one and half bottles of wine a week at the pub, I am way over my alcohol unit limits. I love the social aspect of meeting friends at the pub, but now I am getting to the point where once a week we are so tiddly that we cant walk straight home. I am ashamed. I have a weak bladder and last week actually could not hold my urine and weed myself walking home. How embarressing. I actually made fun of it.but I am ashamed. My daughter has recently commented that I seem to drink every day. I too have a fab job, but no energy. I feel dreadful. Is this the effect of long term alcohol. Thanks for reading. Sorry to go on. Am I in denial ??
Hi Mary,
If you are worried about it try and cut down, as it will take over (believe me I know) dont drink at home leave it for the pub, you will enjoy it better.Dont get like me 5-6 cans of beer every day.
Day 12 of not drinking its hard but its a dam sight harder feeling horrible the next day after the drink.
Good luck Kev
I just realized this was a site based out in the UK and wanted to so say that I guess this is a vice that plagues many from all walks of life. I wish everyone well and success.
I am in the U.S. by the way and live in Alaska and people drink here like tomorrow will never come so it is very difficult not to as well.
I was turned off by the glass of flowing wine. I couldn’t finish the article- yet wanted too….
Hi all I found this site so interesting having tried al anon and various other sites to help me cope with my daughters drinking. She denies she has a problem but spoils all holidays, parties etc by getting drunk before leaving the house. I have found empty bottles all over her room, i;ve tried patience and understanding, love and care to confrontation and arguements all to no avail. i honestly dont know what to do to help her anymore. she was being treated for panic attacks but drinking and taking the tablets made all the symptoms much worse, she carries an evian bottle full of wine to work with her as a “crutch” (her words) i am terrified she is drinking and driving. I found al anon to be very selfish where they told me to concentrate on myself etc and leave my daughter to a “higher power”. I cant and wont watc her self destruct tho. Can any of you give me some insight as to how i can possible help her through what is obviously an extremely painful time for her? She drinks about 2 bottles (at least) of wine a day. I have tried the sensible approach to drinking thing with her by saying ok if you feel like a glass of wine why dont yo have one with me and we will have a few days a week with none at all. Only to find that i have nothing at all and she is in her room (in the middle of the night usually) getting hammered. I feel like a hypocrite if i have a glass of wine but i know she is hiding booze all over her room, in her car and at work. She has so many bruises from falling over when drunk, can barely hold a conversation because she forgets what we might have been talking about the previous nite and is just becoming more and more withdrawn.
Sorry i’ve gone on and on a bit here, I could go on forever with details of recent incidents.
Can any of you help? Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks in advance
Gail
So many of the comments here could have been written about me.
“Basically I don’t know how to fill my evening without at least a bottle of wine and at social occasions I am always the one that has had too much – not behaving outrageously, but obviously a bit drunk.” That’s me. I start at 7 pm and keep going until bedtime regardless of whether I’m at work the next morning.
And I’m never the one who drives home from a social event – my husband just stops after a couple of glasses but I always have to drink more than everyone else. No one says anything but they must wonder…
“I love to drink. I have always loved to drink.” That’s me too. I should hate it for what it’s done to my life but I don’t.
I’ve been drinking far too much for 40 years, so it makes no sense that I still believe I can control it if I just try harder. Stopping seems like admitting defeat, which is why I’ve always resisted it. My husband used to enjoy a few glasses of wine in the evening too, but I’ve noticed he’s recently stopped – he’ll maybe have a beer before dinner some evenings. I’d say he drinks about 10 units a week max; last week I drank 40 (at least) – and most weeks it’s over 30. He doesn’t mither me about it, but now and then he’ll say something like “maybe we should have a few more evenings off the drink”. I love the way he includes himself in that – so diplomatic.
One evening a week we both go to a meditation class – it’s in another town so we leave at 5.30 pm and arrive home at 10.40pm. That evening, I never even think about wanting a drink – how strange is that? I meditate other days at home but it doesn’t stop me reaching for the bottle at 7pm. I’ve tried two hypnotherapy CDs to stop drinking but they just make me think about the problem more, whereas I’d sooner just forget about alcohol altogether.
I’m another one with no problems in my life – wonderful man, great house, no big worries other than the booze. I run my own (very) small business which is about all I can cope with these days. I should be writing articles, recording music, painting but all my energy is spent in surviving hangovers and “relaxing with a drink”. And that’s been largely the case for years.
By the way, does anyone else feel mortified at the bottle bank? I use a couple of different ones but I hate being confronted by the evidence of how much I’ve consumed!
My husband will be away for 5 days next week – that’s a real danger time for me, as there’s no “stop” signal then, and I’m worried I’ll just carry on drinking until I fall over. One time when he was away, after drinking I fell and twisted my knee badly and was on crutches for a week. Another time I got two black eyes from a fall on my face. Of course I lied about how I got these injuries – I’ve had plenty of practice lying convincingly over the years.
I want to stop. I will stop. I will stop today. How to stay stopped is another matter. It’s good to talk.
I was googling “how to deal with alcohol cravings” because I’ve been having a hard time not drinking. Just looking for some simple tips to take my mind of things… and this was one of the first pages to come up. Whoever designed this page is an idiot for sticking a giant, inviting glass of wine right smack at the top. Counterproductive? I think so.
Like you Clare I feel the same. I haven’t ever tried to stop completely, always gone the “I’ll cut down” route and it never lasts! As I’ve read in some articles, after a couple I’m so happy that I have another and another to try and hang on to that feeling. Thing that worries me is I don’t have any major issues in my life. I have a great job, great home, great family, I don’t suffer from depression. I actually drink probably because it has become a habit (cooking I must have a drink, having dinner I must have a drink) and also I know this may sound ridiculous but when I’m happy I just have to “celebrate”. I have found myself in a number of situations, I’ve upset people and looked like a fool most of the time when I’ve been drinking. I tend to not remember the night before and I definitely do consume far too much. The problem as well is that I drive like that – WHAT AM I DOING?? I could kill someone!! My work is suffering as I have a hangover 3 times a week practically. I tell myself every time that I HAVE to stop drinking so much and I do quite well for a couple of days with no drink and then we’ll be out with friends or just at home having a cheese and WINE evening and then instead of like a normal person having a couple of glasses I have I two bottles on my own which now I read is considered binge drinking. An incident over the weekend occured which has made me realise I do have a problem. We had gone out for a “couple” of drinks and I got home to my inlaws and of course was not quite with the programme I was told this by them and instead of accepting the statement I was angry and told them off. Once sober I realised that I was completely humiliated and embarrassed that I allow myself to get into that condition. Why don’t I have control? Well that’s my story. Today is Day 1, I have to make an effort to STOP!
Your description of your relationship sounds EXACTLY like mine. I just get caught up in a having a great night with great friends etc and end up practically unconscious by the end of the evening. I’m also quite abusive to my boyfriend when I’m drunk which makes me feel terrible. I’m desperate to be able to manage my alcohol intake, but I just seem to fall off the wagon when I’m least expecting it.
How are you getting on?
Hi all,
been abstinent for almost six months now and have to say it has made a huge difference on my life thus far. It has not been easy, cravings still come and go, like today – thats why i am on this site, to try and beat the cravings. Lonelyness and boredom are still huge triggers for myself and for anyone trying to overcome an alcohol problem it is essential to be aware of negaitive emotions and how to counter them.
I drank heavily for about 15 years but with the help of a treatment unit and AA positive things are once again happeing in my life, something i thought couldnt of been possible when drunk. If anyone is showing the signs of a drinking problem ie. loss of control, solitary drinking or drinking to counter negative emotions i would urge them to go and talk to their GP who can refer them on to a specialist.
I only hope that in another six months i will still be alcohol free and positve things are continueing to come into my life, one day at a time!
Hello all.
It is at least nice to have others out there that are struggling with this alcohol thing as well. It lets me know how much we need to support each other. Others that can contain their alcohol intake don’t really understand the enormity of the issue in trying to quit. I managed a 6 month sober stint recently, only to finish that up with a 4 day bender. I have been attending AA off and on. I wrote down what I thought were the trigger points for me, and it seems that I didn’t allow myself any discussion on my way to the liquor store. I think is part of the thing alcohol does to your mind, it takes away the rational part that would normally kick in to tell you to turn around and go home instead. I know people that have been able to come out of this, so encourage each other, we need to help each other
The answer all of you are looking for is “the sinclair method” > get the book from roy eskapa > it will change your life forever.
Sinclair Method sounds great but I think it would be easier to get heroin than the medication needed for this method