Cutting Down or Giving Up Drinking
Do you need to give up drinking completely if you have a problem with alcohol? There are conflicting opinions on this. The AA approach says that abstinence is the only way that works for sure.
But being abstinent is no guarantee against a relapse, and some would say that it is just avoiding the problem, not dealing with it. So how about learning some new habits around alcohol instead – because you have learnt how you behave towards alcohol already, so surely those habits can be changed?
Giving up for a while could be a useful exercise though – it doesn’t have to be forever. In fact the thought of it being a lifetime commitment prevents some people from even contemplating a period of sobriety. Why not try a month of no drinking at all, just to see how it feels? Then if you can manage that ok, you can decide whether to keep going with it, or not, the choice is yours.
The difficulty with cutting down of course is that all your best intentions tend to dissolve after the first few drinks – so a self-imposed limit is easily ignored with a slightly inebriated justification (‘oh I’ll do it tomorrow instead’, ‘I had a really hard day today, I deserve another one’, ‘oh he’s opened another bottle, it would be rude of me to refuse’ etc.)
Delaying the time you allow yourself to start drinking is one way to make cutting down easier. If you have less time for drinking, then perhaps you’ll drink less quantity (that’s the theory). A drinking diary can also help you keep track of how much you’ve actually had over the week.
How much you drink also tends to be a product of how much alcohol you purchase. So one obvious step is to not buy quite so much. Make sure you don’t keep any drink in the house – just buy it as you need it. That way the choice to drink has to be a conscious decision. Don’t forget, for this to really work you’ll need your partner to agree on the plan, so they don’t buy any either, unless you both decide to.
There’s a third option too – a combination of cutting down and giving up – just staying sober for a day or two at a time every week. It’s better than nothing, and you’re getting used to dealing with life without drinking. Try and plan which days you’re going to do it in advance, and plan to do something else incompatible with drinking perhaps. But be careful of the trap of rewarding yourself for your two days of sobriety with, you guessed it, a binge!
I need to no if you need to have drugs to come off? Don’t want to have seizure. I drink 1-2 bottles wine most nights
No drugs are required to come off the antabuse. Although, the doctor told me the drug (antabuse) could remain in my system for up to 2 weeks after stopping the medication. Needless to say, I did not drink for 2 weeks after I stopped taking the med.
I love this article… giving me the answers I already know but just need to see them in print and the comments of other people with the same issues.
Tonight I am going to just have 1 glass of wine with my Husband like any normal person. Usually my pattern is this… drinking the whole bottle, easily myself, usually while cooking up a storm, hiding the evidence, falling asleep, waking up at 3 am with half a glass of red beside my bed and my contacts still in. Can’t get back to sleep til 7 when I should be getting up and getting kids off to school. So already having a bad day. Slow to start and eventually wasting my time trying to accomplish everything with a foggy feeling. never hangovers anymore… just slow to start and by afternoon ready for a drink. This is my day off and I feel it’s slipping by me because I’m unfocussed, unenergetic and angry at myself. One glass tonight!
JL someone talk to me!
Jena you all ready no all the answers you said it your self. Will you ever stop for good i don’t think so no. I can tell that from the first couple of lines of your post. Seeing it in print will make no difference. Grab a pen and paper and jot down all the things you all ready no about your self and all the Answers to all your problems you are aware of then come back and tell me if you love the article you have wrote about your self. Its not a game sweet. Your not content in your life but your prepared to carry on living it that way. Well i cant knock some one for that because most of us have done it for a short time or 20 years
Sean,
Who made you the all knowing one? You are overly judgemental and pessimistic. Jenna keep on keeping on one step at a time and Sean learn how to spell, you “know” if you’re giving out your opinion so freely “no” one will take you seriously if you cant spell.
x alcoholic Keith,
“One step at a time and believe in your self because if you cant how can others.”
Man… us drinkers are a crusty lot, eh?
I did quite well tonight actually. Had only 1 glass, rather large, but 1 never the less. No, this is not a game, but I am entitled to take control of this beast on my own terms without having to say good bye to a lovely glass of Cab Merlot forever.
No I am not prepared to carry on this crazy way at all but I am a self-made person and will change over night because this night has been coming for a very long time.
Thanks for the Boost!
JL
Thanks for this site, it’s strange to think we are all going through the same thing but how we fix it can be so different. here’s my 2p worth.
I found that I couldn’t resist going to the off license and buying booze. Once can wasn’t enough, it had to be enough to send me to sleep, so 6-8 cans then.
Now I go to the local co-op and buy 1 can during the day and return to work. Then at 8.30 every night I head to my local X-Scape and snowboard till 10pm.
By the time I get out, all the off licenses are shut and I’m so tired I just want to go home and have a beer and a beer (1) is all I have.
It’s working so far, but it’s only been 2 weeks. It did cost be £350 for 3 months membership, but I’d prefer less money and a longer life tbh.
Best wishes to everyone,
Alan, Erskine, Scotland.
Alan this may sound a bit odd but. Take a man that smokes 40 fags a day and then take a man that smokes 1 fag a day. Take the man that has to smoke 40 fags a day. Well he smokes them 40 because he needs them simple as that. Then take the man that smokes 1 fag a day. He is no different from the 40 man. The man that smokes 1 fag a day say he smokes it at 8 o’clock. He has been to work all day came home had dinner makes a cup of tea or cracks a can open. Well he needs that 1 fag as bad as the man needs the 40 so they both have the same addiction. The one fag a day man granted will have better lungs but his feeling of need for that one fag will be as great as the 40 man if not greater. And booze is no different. The feeling for that 1 can of beer to you is no different from the feeling of say me wanting 10 pints. Now i have no idea wat you drink so i will have to guess that its strong. Say 1 can of tenants in the morning and 1 can at night about 1 hour before sleep. That’s just a guess it could be 1 can of fosters and 1 pint in the pub on the way home. There is a strange pattern here and it fits in with wat i use to do in a way. You need that 1 can to get you though the day and you need that 1 can to maybe still aid you getting to sleep.
Jena I found the funny wat you said..And i cant help but add this. All alcoholics are self made.
That is true…I have to admit. Every glass I have emptied has been my choice. I have made my bed, I have laid in it, and now I want to change the sheets. I worked at the restaurant tonight and just a half glass of wine. Funny.. I did’nt even want the wine but i think I like the thrill of sneaking it so cleverly. Maybe I have been playing a game. I’ve been capping off my intake in the evening at home and having that first glass much later.
it seems like I have a handle on it and my life has already been full of energy not waking up so foggy but I don’t trust it.
Jena
jena, just wanted to let you know that im happy it is working out for you..(for now)
Jenna i must say i understand all of wat your saying there and i suppose there can be a bit of a thrill in sneaky drinking. Well there is i did it my self when i worked as a bar man. Be careful about that bit were you say you are weighting later and later to drink. A gain i have also did that more than i would like to Amit to. Yes its a good thing so don’t stop doing it but wat you do have to do at some point is say right tonight’s the night i have my intake down to a level that would not be a danger for me to cut it out and then stop. Wat happens is you get later and later and then it will be 4 o’clock in the morning before you have that first drink and if your a heavy drinker all your doing is having your first drink of the night were your first drink of the day use to be. Granted you wont drink it all day. Right i am not going to tell you to do this or admin would cut my go nads off but wat i will tell you is 2 ways i have stopped as in got thought the night with a good nights sleep on the first night or 3 of stopping booze. OK we no about that bit of cutting down and down day by day night by night. Now we are say at the point were we only want 2 or 3 pints you can do the units i am crap at maths. Just in case you drink wine. I would have 6 bananas as in a smooth drink 2 hours before i went to bed and i would take 1 tablet of antihistamine drowsy type tablets. And i have done that in the past a good few times and its one of the things that got me a good sleep before i got to the time i would crack my can open. Now i am in no way telling any one on here to start dropping antihistamine tabs, Its just one of the ways i have tried and as it goes the antihistamine was for insect bytes i had at the time so it was by pure chance. But you would have to have got your alcohol intake down to at least 3 pints a night for say a week before thinking of any thing like that because it just would not work. Bananas are not addictive but the affect is. Antihistamine as i am aware is not addictive but the affect of the drowsy feeling is so let me just point that out. And as an addict to booze most of the time we only want the feeling that booze gives us. Be that makes us go mental or makes us carm and mellow. Right Good Night Nurse
Man, if anybody knows this villain, it’s you. You could write the book, you just need an editor. Terrible spelling. Sorry, I’m an English Major. (Specializing in Canadian Literature) Sorry again!
Apparently, as my Husband puts it, I become confrontational when I have a couple of glasses of wine. Can you tell I’ve had a couple? Oh well, there was no tippling at work tonight… kind of boring but I got my work done much faster. However,, I took a bottle of wine home with me (paid for already by a function in the Ballroom.)
This is a tricky addiction. Here I am at 42 just realizing this. You seem to have wrestled the thing down and seem like a very strong person. Give me more advice.
Jena
Tonight is my first sat night without a drink for about 5years
I just want to be there to watch my little girl grow up
I love her so much
Im 23 I havnt drunk for 7months. I had a very bad drinking problem. Resontly I thought I could have one soon but really I dont think thats a good idear. Once a heavy drinker always a heavy drinker, id tell myself one glass … next time be two… ext then I would be back to where I was befor. I dont tell myself never again as thats too fighting to except, I just dont want one =)
Hmmm, 2.20 am and I am sitting up awake when I should be sleeping! Iam missng my wine right now because when I was drinkin I would just passout….soo, I will just hangout here, reading posts ….
I know that I am an alcholic and ‘just one glass’ is too many and ten are not enugh….
I can relate to Sonja- I can’t say I will never drink again- I try to live just for today- seems a bit easyier to manage
Happy 24 everyone!
yea, this is strange, i don’t like to consider myself an alcoholic, but what i do points to it… myself my problem is i binge, too many beers in too little time, and i can’t explain why i do that…. i like to drink, i like to spend time with my husband and friends, be social, i don’t do it every weekend it’s maybe 2 – 3 times a month that this binge comes around, and it’s getting worse. well my actions are getting worse. i get mad and hateful to my husband. i cry for unknown reasons, i get aggressive, this last time i blamed my husband for wanting to be with a good friend….am i an alcoholic? any advise? whould i stop completely? or slow down?
My problem is i drink black out wake up with hundreds of cuts all over my body, self harm…. blackout selfharm.
im scared and hurting and only 25 with worse problems. but love the wine. have cut tonight and for the last 2 weeks. and i firs started at 13 while drinking, stopped at 26 and now again started.
dont think to many drinkers do this but not sure.
I’ve been drinking heavily for 10 years. Lately, it’s been 15+ beers per day. I often have one in the morning to get me through to the evening, when I typically binge. I’m able to function at my job, but I’m not sure how much more of this my body and mind can take.
I’m not interested in going to a doctor or taking medication, but I do want to cut down SAFELY and maybe quit at some point.
Does anyone have any experience with safely cutting back from this level of drinking? For example, would initially cutting back to 3 beers per day be too much of a shock to my system? What about 6 beers?
Again, I’m interested in any advice or experiences others may have had.
Hello, i’m steve and i live in spain drink is a stupid price, my wife left me through drink and that sent my on a heavy drinking spree for the past3 months.
i have seen a doctor over here and she said do not stop, cut it down bit by bit.
Do your best and don’t give up on yourself.
I will do the same.
Take care
no dont give on your self i am am a acholic ive drunk 4 5 years heavy i drink the ligour the 80 to 90proof a half a fifth a night so dont give up ive been trying to fight the fight so far so good its only been 3 days yes 3 days but i am trying all i can think about is not giving up and counting on the lord god to get me throught this u can do it i am hopeing not to fail but if ido ill pick my self up and try again but just to let u know i dont plan on failing u can do it dont give up on ur self
gw if your drinking 15 cans a day (depending on the strength) cutting to 3 would be a struggle as a guide line the best thing to do if you want to stop is to either see your gp who may prescribe you a benzodiazapine named clohdiazipoxide which stops fits and calms you down other than that, you (as i have been told whilst in patient detox, cut down from 15 cans to 11 stay on 11 cans for 4 days then drop to 9 for 4 days then 7 etc the first 3 days of alcohol withdral are the worst and thats when you can have seicures after 3 days its normaly 7 to 10 days to be completly free of alcohol
hope this helps
and good luck
I started out wanting a glass of wine with my dinner but then would drink more with stress. This was a long time ago and I had an alcoholic boyfriend who always brought people over and always drinking going on. He drank lots and would forget to come home and then I would sit around drinking wine waiting for him. I had to get rid of him.
But I wanted to keep having my glass of wine at night, seems to put me to sleep faster without going to bed and thinking about the things I have to do, stresses, etc. But if I landed up on the phone with someone, I’d talk and drink and talk and drink. Lately if I drink too much like that I’ll wake up and hate the hangover and figure I’ll have a beer and go back to sleep. 3 – 9 days later (its been), I’m sick as a dog and hating my life.
I think I should go back to when I don’t need a drink to put me to sleep, seems to have become a habit for me but not working anymore. Its time to just keep it to a social level as I never drink that much socially. And I don’t want to hurt my children anymore when these binges result in me staying in bed all day and not getting anything done, not taking care of them.
Strangely enough… i found stopping smoking not that difficult. The first month was a stinking Nightmare, but after 31 years of chucking smoke and tar into my lungs withdrawing was never gonna be a Sun-Kissed cruise on the Lemon-Scented-Sea! Beer though is a different kettle of fish…. I like brewing beer from all sorts of grains…. I like making wine, from nettles, rhubarb, elderberry etc…. and I like drinking my various (and sometimes foul) concoctions! They are an art-form… it’s like making jam for mash-heads! And long may it continue!
Hi, I don’t feel like I fit into any of those catergories I usually only drink at weekends but I drink too much I know I do and wish I could cut down. I have very good intentions and think i’ll just have a couple but once I start i just don’t know when to stop! I feel like a weekend alcoholic
x
Hey I saw the doctor today with a skin condition and he asked me if I drank a lot. I said yeah on the weekends but not in the week and he said it’d be better for my skin to drink 3 nights a week but just a few beers – I get the feeling it’s better generally but Im in the same boat as you anyway
just cant give up the wine….classy woman. then i get home and cant help a bottle of wine
help
High
I drink and wish I did not. I use it to relax and fall asleep. It also makes me grumpy if I have an issue leads into an arguement. Lately I have started to drink vodka like wine, fall asleep on the floor. Bad! If do not have a drink I feel restless, anxious. It is constantly on my mind to go to the shops and buy alchol and cannot get to sleep. Or end up having strange dreams. My girl friend has said stop drinking or forget the relationship.
Any advice would really helpful.
Hi Neil, I am going through the same thing, except I am in your girlfriends position and it is my boyfriend who drinks and I have told him to stop but he didn’t so I have finished it. It’s not what i want but unless someone wants to change then you cant make them. The advice I would give to you is start to think ‘right, I need to get my life back in control’ and the first step to doing this is to go to your doctor and take those steps to starting to get over your addiction. You can do it, it won’t be easy but the way to do It is one day at a time and not to think of it as never having another drink again in your life as that is to big and frightening to think about right now. One drink free day at a time. You can do this. Pick up the phone and make an appointment, fight for your relationship and show your girlfriend you are serious, actions speak a lot louder than words. X
hi im jay im on day three without a drink ive been using alcohol for 10 years but has gone cold turkey as i say im on day 3 and its friday i usually drink alot on weekends and today ive been depressed is it normal to feel this and how long will this feeling last i dont want a drink but i cant shake this feeling
I have had a snow ball drinking problem, 2 years ago I lost my job being older and no degree even though I managed a business for 6 years, I couldn’t find anything, last chrismas eve in 2010 I got in an accident going to my sons house not even a mile away, I broke one leg under the knew and my ankle on the other leg was crushed I was not drinking, then came the year from hell, I didn’t drink for over a month never craved nothing, my mother was in the car with me she broke 9 ribs, I had a lot of guilt but she was ok, one month after I was home she came home, then it started again the wanting to drink, she was so demanding, I had two broken legs and had to take care of her and she was demanding, she’s still with me and I am still taking care of her I have not life if I go out she yells at me or she fall and I feel guilty we do not have money to get help I would really like a day to my self’ and I really would want not to want to have my bottle of wine which I can’t afford. Some just stole my credit card numbers, I have my cards but somehow someone charged $300.00. is it ever going to end I do know people have it worst just need to vent
Just came across this site, I dont know what possessed me to google drinking but I know I have a problem which is getting more and more out of control and tonight, well I realised I want a new start for the new year.
I have drank every day except 2 in the last 4 years, maybe more… and I am 27. I have gone from being a very slim, attractive, successful person to what I am now which is overweight ( i have gained 4 stone in 3 years) and have very bad acne and am currently unemployed. I find myself lying to everyone about my drinking but I dont even know where to start with packing it in. I also dont know if I can do it. ( I drink anything between 1 and 3 bottles of wine a day)
I would love to be able to stop, but the more I read, the more scared I am that I could have a fit and die alone for trying to quit, but cutting down… well, I dont think thats an option for me as when I start, I cant stop. Like many on here, I dont drink 24 hours a day, I dont crave it as soon as I wake up, but I start… and then I dont stop til I fall asleep (usually on the sofa or on the floor!) in fact, I havent gone to bed to sleep for about 4 months….
Its great to see you guys have found a support network and I hope I can be a part of it too. Guys, any advice on where/how to start would be great. I dont talk to friends and family about my drinking… and I feel so very alone.
Big well done to all of you on your journeys so far. Maybe in a couple of months i’ll be doing as well as so many of you are and will be able to post a slightly more upbeat uplifting post on here.
Happy New Year to you all,
Charly xx
Hi, charly your posting made me want to write. Normally I just look at everyone else’s posting. Just your story is so similar to mine. I have a hangover and am scared of how I’m gonna do this as have tried loads of times and always gone bk to my usual drinking levels. I’m been aware of my problem for a few years but I don’t seem to be able to overcome it once and for all. When I start drinking I carry on until I fall asleep. I never remember getting to bed, what I ate or even what film we watched. My memory is going fast. I need to sort this. Thanks all. Happy new year. Thanks for reading xx
have u ever tried alcohol free beers ? not seen any mention of them on here it helped me a lot as it was the taste thing for me and havin that glass in ur hand, i stopped without any help after 20 years after the 3rd day it does get easier and u start to feel good about ureself again without hangovers, i stayed off it for 2 years it wasn,t a battle i really enjoyed not drinking lost weight felt fitter than i did in my 20,s, have a few occasionaly now when socialising but only because i choose to it doesn,t control me anymore.
Hello all
I have been a heavy drinker for years, I have recently joined AA but althought the meetings are helping I find it hard to believe how complicated it sometimes feels..all the talk about finding a spiritual healing etc, I have not had a drink for 10 days now but to-day was murder and I am so very tired all the time,I have also started to crave sweet things and I have never had a sweet tooth!!!!!!
I know I need to do this because I had stopped looking for a nice Merlot or Chardonnay but instead the choice was made on the % proof…nothing less than 14% woulf do!!!!!!
hi im a 28yr old woman and have been drinking 6 cans of lager (stella) in the evening for around 5yrs.i have maybe 2 nights a month without a drink i know its alot but is it classed as very serious as i really only want to drink maybe 2 nights a week and feel sure that i could do it but iam really scared of the fits i have read about that lead to death! could really use some advice plz.
emma u will be ok as u say u don,t drink for 2 nights a month, fits sometimes occur in chronic alcoholics who suddenly give up after many years of heavy drinking which usualy happens within the first day, if u are really worried see ur gp who will perscribe a course of diazipan i doubt u will need it though just willpower in ur case
Hi Emma, I am also 28 and the fitting is a major concern of mine too although my drinking is heavier than yours. Unfortunately 2 bottles of strong white wine are sliding down my throat each night now. I’ve always liked a drink but its just out of hand now. I’ve been admitted to hospital with a panic attack, which I could have sworn was heart failure at the time. The doctor that dealt with me that night nearly fell through the floor when I told her my level of intake. Even after all the promises I made my self in that a&e room I have continued to drink. Problem is I feel terrible when I don’t. My heart races, I talk too fast, my thoughts rush, I sweat. After I drink my wine I usually pass out then wake up about 3am and then can’t get back to sleep as I’m so dehydrated. I just lie there watching the clock go round making myself a load more empty promises in my head of this being the “last time”. Of coarse it never is as I usually feel ok by 10 am and ready for a drink by 3pm. Sorry I’ve gone a bit there!!
Try taking up running, it will relax you and also reduces the desire to drink.
For a start I think you need to go just one day without drinking, then you will know you can, and then improve on that.
Advice please. My husband this week has drunk 80 cans of lager ranging from fosters to mainly Stella 4 it averages to 13 cans a night last week he didnt drink for 3 nights the rest of the week he was drunk every night.when I have a go at him (sober) he says ok ok I’ll cut down only drink on weekends this lasts a couple of days and then he has a hard day at work or he’s on holiday or hes stressed and we are back to square one. My kids hate it when he’s drunk. He says he doesn’t have a problem but i am concerned he is doing himself real harm when he drinks he smokes a lot more plus always wants kebabs for his energy levels. He doesnt suffer from hangovers unless it is a big session. Does anyine else think he has a problem?
Claire – Sorry but your husband does have a drinking problem. He also has a more serious one. Denial over it.
I am fifty three and have been an alocohic for forty four years. Yes I started drinking at nine. Both my parents were alcoholics. Therefore, there was always drink in the house and there was very little attention given to what was going on around them as they were always blind drunk.
My partner is too an alocoholic. We are what one would term functioning alcoholics. Not by definition we are in denial, but in terms of holding down jobs and functioning on a day to day basis.
However, more recently, I have lost my job, my driving licence, my daughter and possibly my partner. Next will be the house, no doubt… All because of my drinking.
My partner has lost his driving licence twice and had three failed marriages behind him when I met him eighteen years ago, because of his drinking.
I have tried to give up on a number of occasions. Iv’e tried everything, from councelling to rehab over the years. However living with an alcoholic and trying to give up, when they don’t want to is an impossible task. I have given up for as long as five years, before I met my partner, but was drinking again and heavilly when I met him. I’m not saying its his fault, or my parents, it is mine and I take full resposibility.
Might I suggest you speak to your husband, explain to him this is not the life you had visualised with him for you and the kids. Explain, you will be there to love and support him, however it does need to stop.
You may uncover a reason for his drinking, a route cause he is hiding from. Tell him you love deeply and he can trust you to talk about anything. If he does have something on his chest, he will feel an awful better if he shares it with you.
I can’t say this will help him to stop/cut down in any way. But talking about it is a start.
I wouldn’t want to see him end up like me and his children hating him as mine do me.
I don’t want to come across as a know it all, please don’t think that. Your contribution to thread touched me, as you obviously want to help him. As long as you understand, nobody can help an alcoholic to give up drinking, they need to want to do that for themselves.
Good luck…
Hi, I’ve drunk heavily for 4 years now since I gave up smoking I substituted one for the other, I rarely go without a drink less than 5 nights a week. I drink at home wine or lager. I hide how much I drink and finish off drinking in my bedroom, waking up with an empty glass and an empty feeling inside. I have a husband children and a job and have now realised through drinking I have alienated myself from these things. I am on day 5 of not drinking at all and I feel like shit , I’ve had headaches and a sore throat bug my sleeping is no worse than when I was drinking. It’s still early days for me but I have realised my relationship with alcohol is not healthy I have known this for ages but never gone more than a couple of days. I’m trying for a month at first and go from there, opportunities to relapse are always going to be there… I’m trying to stag strong and by writing this down is therapy in itself. Wish me luck. X