How to stay sober when all your friends are drinking
One of the biggest difficulties people face when they’re trying to stop drinking is what to do when other people are drinking alcohol around them.
The temptation to have a drink yourself is one aspect of it – “they can do it, so why can’t I?” Seeing them getting merry, and desperately wanting a taste too. How are you supposed to resist the urge?
The other aspect is, you begin to realise your drunk friends are actually quite tiresome, their sense of humour doesn’t quite match yours anymore, you feel left behind. Suddenly you’re the odd one out, when you’ve been so used to being part of the crowd, one of the party. This can feel very isolating if you’re the only one who’s not drinking.
Then of course there’s the concerned advice from your inebriated companions:
- “what’s wrong with you?”,
- “go on, just one won’t hurt…”,
- “don’t be such a _____ ” (insert a likely derogatory label).
This makes it even harder, and what should be a fun evening can turn into an endurance test.
This all depends on the company you’re with of course, if you’re just with your family or your partner in a restaurant then obviously the pressure won’t be so awkward, but pubs, bars and clubs with your old ‘drinking buddies’ will take some getting used to.
What really helps here is to enlist an ally – a close friend (or your partner perhaps), who’s not that bothered about drinking either and is prepared to be sober for a night to keep you company. That way you won’t feel quite so different, and you’ll have somebody who’s on your level, someone you can chat to comfortably (make sure you sit next to them of course). You won’t need to do this forever, but just until you get used to not drinking when your friends are.
i recognise so many of the symptoms that i have read within this forum and feel the need to share my own experiences. I myself have been binge drinking since the age of around fifteen and have carried on doing so for the following years which now total 17. If you do the maths you will see that i have been doing this for longer than i haven’t. It is all I know. I have ruined relationships with numerous partners and am on the verge of losing access to my child. At the age of 32 you would think that I would be capable of realising that this way of life is not worth it. I mean after all glamorous it is not, idiotic attempts to enjoy myself on days/nights out that i am in the main going to forget anyway. Making an idiot of myself, losing ALL of my friends, soiling myself in public places, ending up in hospital on various occasions after falling over, getting beaten up and on one occasion even having a heartattack because of an investing in a large amount of cocaine in an experiment to see if it truly could help me drink harder, faster and for longer. Ain’t it cool? Memories should be precious but to be honest there are many things that I have done that I am glad I don’t remember, even though a part of me thinks that if i did this may spur me on to stay sober. I have to agree with most of the above when I say that i cannot see myself going to AA as I have visions of what I would call ‘true’ alcoholics looking at me as some sort of lightweight sufferer who should be able to knock it on the head as I have realised that it is doing me and those around me no good. The thing is I am petrified that now I have quit, (I am now on my fifth day sober and most importantly first weekend without a drink), I will be bored stupid, I have tried to think of something that I could do as a hobbie that would interest me and find no inspiration anywhere. The one thing I look forward to is spending time with my child, who as a result of being found to be drunk in charge of, I now only get too see for a couple of hours a week. My son loves me to bits but he is aware of what is going on and will probably hate me when he gets older as a result. I have you see stopped before, for over a year, and I was crawling the walls with boredom, my social circle increased by the sum total of zero the only people who had any time for me were my family and I could tell even they were only spending time with me because they felt sorry for me, i mean they all have flourishing social lives, why would they want to babysit me when they would usually be out larging it up or having house parties etc themselves. It is a fact that I was just as much of a burden sober as I was drunk. During the week when I was normally in control as I knew I had work the next day was not the problem, the weekend was and is the issue, even more so now as after i say goodbye to my child early saturday afternnon I hit a massive downer and only one thing helps me to escape it. As a result of my dealings with drink I have always avoided prescription anti-depressants but tomorrow I go to the doctors to get some as I can think of nothing else, I mean after my first counselling session I got so depressed I just went straight out on a bender. You never know maybe some chemical imbalance in my brain can be resolved with some pills we will wait and see, believe me I want to stop drinking and am willing to try anything to do so. I want some precious memories and so should anyone reading this, I and you deserve them and I for one am going to get mine and I will not stop trying to obtain a better way of life, good luck to you all and watch this space as honestly if I can do it any of you can do it.
Hi
I read your email and can understand your dilemma, I started drinking a lot after my Mother died and smoking again, it was the only way I could cushion the loss of losing both parents (my Dad had died 7 years prior) I got a grip for awhile but then my beloved dog died and left me totally bereaved so back to drinking too much and smoking again. Now again I struggle because that is what cushions the blows and makes life bearable but in reality it does the opposite it cushions the blows for a short time but the next days are rife with deep depression and epidodes of dizzyness , stroke and heart attack scares as well as intense anxiety. What a cycle!! Well I have found out that when you quit drinking and or smoking and its worse if its both at once , your blood sugar levels just plummet and actually its very dangerous to go cold turkey if you are a heavy drinker. I am right now sticking to two drinks a day either wine or beer nothing heavier, later plan to go to one drink a day for a woman thats the healthy amount. I had to quit smoking because of my blood pressure (not fun!) I have high BP and low blood sugar what a living hell. Anyway I have found eating small meals throughout the day (eliminate all white stuff like flours and sugars and replace with whole grains) eat a carb a protein and a fat in each mini meal. this helps tremendously and strangely enough if you get those depression and panic attacks take a few bites of an apple its like magic I kid you not. Please dont let the doctor put you on meds you will never get off them. Just do some research online about alcohol and blood sugar and how it causes the depression/anxiety. I swear to you , you WILL feel better. Good luck to you, I hope this helps.
Hi I am 32 and I have I have the problem with drinking. it’s only been a week since I had a beer I want to keep this up I know my life will be a lot better. I’ve tried this before to stop and I’ve always been back drinking again. it would be nice to talk to someone in the same situation as me.
Thank you for sharing. You have described exactly what i’m going through. I’m having incredible fear and anxiety. I’ve been drinking since the age of 9. I will be 43 in a few days. The main reason I’ve decided to get sober is I have been diagnosed w/hepatitis c. I had a liver biopsy and the news was good. With all the drinking & drugs I’ve done I hadn’t screwed myself up too bad yet. I have been giving a second chance. I’m getting treatment for my hepatitis by taking powerful chemo drugs. The side effects are terrible but I’m determined to get healthy & stay sober. 1 day at a time. thanks for listening. ~~~~Jamie B
I too am struggling with sobriety from the bottle. I have been binge drinking for fourteen years, half as long that I’ve been alive. I want to be sober so bad and have reason to do so. I’m in no trouble and my life is not in disarray except when I’m drinking. I do not k ow when to stop. It is not uncommon for me to have 10 beers 7or 8 whiskey or jäger shots and whatever else I can find to drink that night. Having that first one spells disaster for me everytime I drink. But this time I want to quit drinking, a pure personal decision to benefit me and whoever else is involved in my life. I’m gonna give a honest effort. For any of you younger than 28, that read this, and recongize you have a problem, Quit now, it will only let you get control of your life that much quicker!
Yep. This is it! Back again and I need to STOP NOW. Driven one too many people away and starting the vicious cycle again with my new relationship. Drunk-tacky/vile/raucous/feral/demanding behaviour-followed by days of grovelling and humiliation. I am not going to do this to myself again. I have everything I want and I am not going to ruin it this time. I need to take control or I’ll loose my life. Dess
I just want to say to anybody suffering from this illness your not alone,im 30 years old now and only 3 months ago have come to realise i have a serious drink problem,i tried on a few ocasions to stop by myself but found it so hard to be happy at the same time,we all need support with this illness and i advise any body in their early day off trying to stop just go to aa meetings,its working for me,lets us know we are not alone,and helps us grow
Im 31 and have been binge drinking since 15 . I suffer terrible from hangovers
, cant talk to knowone for 2 days and feel depressed as hell . I feel thou its not actually the alcohol i crave its the group energy feeling i get when settling down with my mates for a session . But its not worth it ,1 night for exchange
of 2 or 3 bad days suffering . Just lately ive started still goin to the pub but drinking orange juice like j20 or squash . I take the car so knowone tries to convince me to drink . I stay for about 2 hrs and then go . You notice after them 2 hrs everything starts to go pear shaped anyhow.
A good tip ive discovered is write a personal positive message in a txt , something on the lines of “im doing well , avoiding drink ,feel great in myself no depression no hangovers , no regrets”
and send the txt to your phone and save it . when the urge or the fight or flight does come for a session . Read the txt . it does help me .
I am 27 years old and I just quit drinking about a month ago. Drinking was never a big problem for me until last year. I had two run ins with the law withing 3 months. Both were DUI’s, 1 was an auto accident. I continued to drink for months after the incidents despite the obvious trouble it was causing me. 2 serious relationships were compromised as a result of my drinking too. I am currently staying sober on my own will power alone. After giving the steps programs a try I decided they were not for me. Everyone that I am close to drinks on a regular basis. I have found that not having enough friends that share sobriety with me is the hardest part of avoiding the bottle. I get really upset and some what jealous when those closest to me drink heavily. I am not sure if it is a problem or feeling that will eventually go away, but it is making it next to impossible to maintain healthly relationships with my friends. Does anyone else share this concern?
Hey join us talking a boyt the issue in another place on the same site… I think the most active discussion can be found here:
http://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/alcohol-drugs/how-to-stop-drinking-alcohol/
Or even better, the forum on this very site.
I sure can share your concern. Ive been drinking on and off for 30 years. Recently, the last few years it seems to be out of control. I finally got sick of making bad choices and figured I should take back some control. My boyfriend of four years was my drinking buddy. Try finding something in common when your not drinking and he still is. All of my friends still drink so its very hard to find something to do that does not include alcohol. I am on two weeks sober and find myself angry and aggitated (not all the time but throughout the day). It’s actually my problem, because no one made me quit drinking, the decision was my own. I guess I need to find a hobby, but I’m not sure what that is right now….lol. Just hang in there. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Good Luck everyone….Hang in there….Im trying.
well done on your two weeks the first month is awefull, headaches, sicknesss, anger , even paranoia but it will pass , try get on antabuse if possible the fear of what can happen if you drink on antabuse will help you not even dare touch a drink
regards
gordon
I originally stopped drinking 5 years ago – My partner at the time stopped also – we were together because we both could drink for days and no one would tell me I had a problem, she was a terrible flirt when drunk and I was not to be relied upon for anything at all. We both stopped and started to go to meetings (not AA)for 2 years, life was grand, until she needed to give the drink one more try – my addict in my head decided if she could do it then so could I, wrong! she left me and I drowned my sorrows and went back to dark days yet again – luckily I stopped again with the help of meetings and honesty, 2 more years then 2 months ago started again… the old saying that whatever chased you to stop drinking, is most definitely waiting for you. This I found to be true, the greatest feeling I have had is being sober, but alas this is a full time job and I’m only one drink away from disaster. I live the other side of the world from my family and friends and right now feel very much alone, but I have learn t some very good tricks when I was sober – read read and read some more and hand it over to a higher power if that’s what you are into – This is very much the road less traveled – try and distinguish when your addict is feeding you bullshit – be 100% honest for one day, see how often the bullshitter addict actually speaks. There’s a lot of us out there and the ones I know who manage to stay sober are some of the most honest and wise trustworthy people i know.
Folks,
Do not despair. I have been drinking for the last 25 years continually getting worse and now over the last 6 months the shakes – you know what I mean!
Drink in the morning – me never -it happened.
Losing control of my life.
Then got admitted to hospital with pheunomia and the hospital had to give me
benzodiazepines and thiamine and I have been clean for 7 days.
I have no cravings and plan to get prescribed temposil and stay off that crap for life. If I can do it so can you!
It’s hard. I’ve been sober three years now and I’m 30. I was a binger and I also drank at home alone, easily a case of beer or a bottle of vodka. I also got a drink-driving arrest under my belt. The main thing for me was watching my life lurch from crisis to crisis, all because I took my eye off the ball because I was too busy getting drunk.
Now and then I get the urge, and now is one of those times. I want to go out and party, I’m single and I want to go meet people – but everyone but me is drinking. Being sober for so long has been a great achievement for me and my life is immeasureably better but I still haven’t worked out how I can convince myself I’m still ‘cool’! I know falling asleep under tables in clubs isn’t cool, and neither is half the stuff I used to do. I just want to be able to be the life and soul again. Maybe its just blues at the big 3-oh…
Oh, and a tip – I changed jobs right after I gave up drinking, and introduced myself from the start as a non-drinker, it’s way easier than trying to explain to your old drinking buddies!
Hi Lucy what you have said sounds so similar, over the last year have started drinking on my own at home as a way to fill the void of being single. Am fine monday to friday. On Friday evening its knowing everyone else is going home to loved ones, mine a bottle of wine or vodka. Have spoken to family about it and had stopped but had a ‘blip’ this Friday that lasted till Sunday! I think/know the way forward is not drinking at all, can’t see to set my limits. Am now at the stage where am worried its going to affect frienships, my job. All other aspects of my life are fine, good job, fab friends etc. Need some support hope chatting and reading stuff on here is going to help.
what about going to a singles night with some of your friends i know alot of women do go to single nights together there you can relax with your friends and maybe find your true love?…..good luck.
Hi guys, I’, 39 and only recently realised how much of an alkie ive become. One book which has really helped me stay positive and think differently is Allen Carrs Easyway to control alchol. I would recommend this to anyone wishing to ditch the booze, it really is inspirational and different to any other books Ive read on the subject. Since reading this I’ve got 14 days sober BUT HAPPILY SOBER thanks to this book. Good luck everyone
Thanks Teresa I have ordered this book. I hope it works for me as much as it has for you. I want to be a happy person who has given up alcohol, not someone who feels deprived and missing out. If Allan Carr’s book can help me change that mind set which i have, it will be fantastic.
I hope you are still going strong and still happy.
I never saw drinking in my home as I grew up but I saw the result of it. My Dad was a alkie who went to A.A. but who never got that inner peace that I now find myself so desperate to find. I knew a fair bit about alcoholism from an early age but that didn’t stop me becoming an alcoholic and as events unfolded I became more like my Father than I would have cared for. I found myself cherrie picking the 12 steps and couldn’t understand why I kept slipping back into my old way of thinking. Then it occured to me I wanted the programme to work around ME!. As an alcoholic I know I am a very complicated person but I can find that peace I crave and I hope that everyone who wants the same gets it. I need to be reminded daily I’m a recovering alcoholic.
I have dabbled into the dark side for years and no one ever knew it. Not my daughter, not my friends, not even my wife. I was always smart enough to keep it under control and away from others. I could attend school functions or spend the day traveling where ever with the family. I drank to ease the pain of personal issues. I have done this for many years. I’m a pilot. Although I never drank and flew, you can be sure there was always something cold or smooth at the end of each flight. Get a load of this; I use to run and sometimes win marathons. Of coarse, I didn’t drink in those days. Imagine that.
I’m three days sober now. My days are long and slow. I’m sure my body has taken a toll with all this drinking. I’m stopping because my body has been so good to me through the years, this is the least I can do do for it. I started exercising again as well. It’s frightening not knowing if I’ll be able to stay sober. I’m like a bank robber that got away clean, with bags of cash. I’ve never shared this episode with anyone. My wife wouldn’t believe anyway. (she would say “now honey, go on upstairs and get ready for dinner”).
I enjoyed drinking. I really looked forward to the buzz, everyday. I only drank what would give me the best buzz. I could go and on with all my clever compartments through out the house, garage and even the car sometimes. Always the gum and mints were on hand.
I’m hoping it will get easier as time goes by. I must say, it’s a bit refreshing knowing that I’ve been sober for three days now. Tomorrow will be four.
I totally identify what you have written in regard to the secrecy and the feeling of being ahead. It is truly frightening. I function well too but it is the feelings of shame that my family don’t get me 100% and that I am not always truly available to them that causes me most distress. I do not want to continue like this. It depresses me to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Go well and I will follow your progress. If your family think you are fine already as you are, just think of the potential of really fantastic relationships and the wonderful things that may come as you get shot of your secret monkey.
I’ve been drinking since 16 and finally stopped at 30 and will never ever drink again – the thought of it makes me feel physically sick now – so many bad memories attached to it all.
I used it to cope with stress, insecurity and a lack of confidence – and the fact that life seems to suck in general as you just flick on the news or see how people treat each other and I’d wallow in the pointlessness of it all.
I needed something to believe in so have gone back to start a career that is too intellectually demanding to involve alcohol – maybe at 40 I’ll be able to think about settling down…and have a reason to live.
Reading all the comments has been an invaluable eperience for me. I am on a regular binge drinking cycle of doing without for weeks on end and then starting slowly but surely into having a few glasses of wine with friends which triggers off the cycle yet again. My last cycle just finished on Monday and I have spent the weekend trying to get myself feeling okay again. I am so upset at what I am doing to my body but it is my spirit and my mind that I am most worried about. Like Ronnie, I drink secretly and cleverly and don’t seem to get caught but I know that I am not functioning 100% as a wife or a mother. Last week whilst having someone visit I drank socially at dinner as I love wine. Upstairs, I was secretly bingeing on vodka and got through 3 litres in a week. I can’t seem to handle stress of any sort without reaching for the hidden vodka. I have never felt so ashamed or despondent. I cannot go on living this secret life. I want to interact fully with my family. I can also be aggressive in alcohol and find that my family think I am hormonal and being fiery during my outbursts. My life is not going to have any quality at all if I cannot stop this. I will manage fine now to stay off for weeks as my shame will see to that but I know that at some point I will relax and this will seem like a bad memory. That is why I am writing now on your forum. I hope that when I next think, “Oh it is not as bad as I thought, or I am not as bad as I thought” then I will take the time to read what I have written here and remember, yes it is, it really is. The dark side of my soul cannot keep coming out and destroying the good part. And that dark part relates directly to alcohol and the effect it has upon me. Terry
Hello out there, I came across this site because i was just looking for some answers. I am fifty years old and started messing with alcohol when i was 12, it was hit and miss until i turned 18. I was going through some very bad psychological issues when i was 16, no one knew what was wrong with me neither did i, all i know it was a very bad and scary time, it seemed to come out of nowhere and it left after time, and left instantly. So then i felt normal again and was very relieved and very happy, this horrible what ever it was thing has left me. By this time i was addicted to alcohol because this is what i used to calm me and help me sleep at night only to start the whole process over again the next day. The doctors wanted to give different medications when i was going through this but nothing really helped me it seemed but alcohol. It was a very baffling and prayed to god i would never experience anything like that again. Anyway my point is by the time i pulled out of this mental anguish, alcohol has ripped my life apart till this very day. I have stayed sober two years one time or six months here or three there, there were times AA has very much helped keep me sober and also have been in and out of detox units since my twentys. It has just been one big battle with it, my whole life. I can relate to the depression some people have shared on this site, i feel you, it is a very horrible and utterly despairing time and all the rest of the pain that comes with it, in your mind and body and your whole world. I just wanted to share some feelings because i never really speak of it, in any givin details, it just seems easier to share in this fashion at the moment. God bless everyone, i am sure he is the only one that has gotten us this far.
I have never been happier. Your brain chemistry will eventually reset. this takes aproximately 6 months to a year. Be patient. In the mean time just put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. The fellowship of Alcoholics Annon. is a WONDERFUL support system when you are getting sober. They give you the HOPE and STRENGTH when you have none. IT”S FREE. The requirement is a desire to stop drinking. USE IT! it works for millions of people. you are not alone.
Thank you Jennifer for your words of inspiration.
I just recently was pulled over for DUI and came across this website digging for info on alcoholism. I too am 30 and finding that a lot of people posting on here are around my age. I too am a binge drinker. It all started again after joining a Stay at home moms group. I eventually found other moms that were party girls before they were moms. We started with moms night out, where we would just go to dinner have a few cocktails, then home we went. The moms night out eventually became girls night out. Sometimes we wouldn’t even eat dinner and just go straight to the bar. Before it was 10 or 11 pm when we got home and then it turned into midnight then 2am then 4am. It has taken 3 years to get to this point. My husband and I would fight about me staying out late and I always defended myself and thought, i’m not under my parents roof anymore I can do what I want when I want. Thinking now, this is a totally selfish thing for me to do. I was not being very responsible. I have a family, I am not 21 anymore. I needed to step up to the plate and unfortunately this DUI is what has gotten me there to realize I need to change my ways. It’s going to be a long road for me and my family to get over this DUI and put my life back on track. It’s going to be hard for me also because my best friend is a partier and I just have to learn to say no. This is for me and my family. Good luck to you all out there. It’s a tough road but you only live once and need to make it a good one.
I stopped for 11 years but when I found the woman I loved with another man I lost it for a while I was so devastated, completely crushed by it because she was my absolute everything. So bad was I hurt I went as far as leaving the Country to live in another Country where I don’t even speak the language. As time went on and I tried to make a new life in a new place and learn the language I slowly started drinking again and it seems to have really crept up on me. Have stopped several times but because I live alone it seems to have become a habit out of sheer boredom, I can’t do much exercise because I have a very bad back. I need to fill the void of drinking with something else and very soon because my actions when drunk are going to ruin my life or end it. Last year I did something unthinkable it even shocks me now, the police came behind me in my car and flashed the blues for me to stop, I knew it was touch and go if I was over the limit or not so I made a decision to run and believe it or not I got away they were not expecting it so I got the drop on them, however the next day the police were at my door and I was taken to the local station, questioned and they said we are sure you were drunk but we cannot prove it but we can prove you ran a stop sign and I was fined heavily and warned they would be looking out for me. I feel so disgusted in myself it seems to make me drink more! I could have killed someone or myself, I am not a young man either so I should know better. I feel so lost, alone and even sucidal at times,it’s very hard to cope but I am trying very hard.
Hi Everybody, well I have been reading all the posts and it has inspired me to write one myself.
Well were do I start…ok, I have just finished another bender which these days happens about 3 times a week. Today I have experienced shakes, depression and panic attacks (not wanting to face anyone),I have been doing this for 20yrs and 15 of them with my long suffering partner who is an amazing person, just because she has stuck with me all this time.Now I have never been violent towards her and not really abusive (but it has happened on rare occasions) but have constantly let her down in a number of ways i.e. not coming home at agreed times,spending money I don’t have,not having the energy the next day due to hangovers and panic attacks and to be honest to many to mention.
well I am 38yrs old now and just recently quit another job (i’m a chef by trade) which has become the norm these past few years and once again putting pressure on my partner,well I am sick of it now and I am going to seek professional help which I have never done before I have a few questions if anyone can help. Can anyone tell me about the panic attacks is this really normal for a drinker?and if so how long will it take to feel normal? also the shakes are unbearable but don’t want to take drugs to fix , is there anything natural to help with this and how long befoe they are under control?.
When on the odd week or two I have not binged I can be as my Partner says a completly different person and good to be around, as well as very helpful in everyday chores, cooking ,cleaning,shopping etc.This is the true me not this former shadow of myself I have become, but its been a while now since I have gone a week with out a drink. Well to sum up I realise that I finally have to man up and face the consequences of my own actions and it will be the toughest fight of my Life, I just hope I can find happiness for longer than a few weeks and finally give my partner the Man she deserves.I have to say writing this has made me feel a little better after a bleak day thankyou to everyone who has posted because it helps!.
Hi Kebor -
Yes the panic attacks are very normal. I have only been sober for 2 days and it seems to be recurring… i get to 6 days sober & binge again. i get the shakes as well as major panic attacks and humiliation – even if i didnt do anything embarassing the night before. I am on anxiety meds and one is lorazepam, which helps me with the shakes. The panic attacks can last for a few days but finding things to do can help the most. i try to exhaust myself during the day so i dont even want to be awake when all of my friends are out, it seems to be the only thing keeping me out of trouble when i have the willpower, other than my very understanding boyfriend. he deserves my sober self, so thanks for the great stories & say a little prayer that i make it through this next weekend!
Hello, I’ve had this monkey on my back well over 30 years. Pot smoking too. I finally quit smoking 5 years ago. I realize that some ppl think that’s not so bad , but for me (like alot of things) I was obsessive about it. So I’m glad that episode is through, but I’m no better off because my drinking has excelled in the last 5 years. The pathetic thing is that I have tried to stop drinking for at least 22 years. I’m always assuring myself I will turn into a super version of myself.
I have been capable of going sober for 2 or 3 weeks even at a time.
And I will feel great both mentally and physically.
The strange thing is that it doesn’t necessarily take a bad thing setting me off to start up again. It could take a good thing happening and I will feel like I want to take it to the next level. To feel the euphoria while pondering on the great thing in my life that just happened.
Today is only my third day sober at once again another attempt. I’m glad to have found this site and read other ppls feelings on this issue.
I’m also hoping that by me posting this maybe it will give me a little more oomph to stick with it since I’ve never shared anything like this on line before.
A friend of mine I share this stuff with say’s I’m better off than some because I care to take control of it.
Good luck and power to us all .
Today is my first day of being sober. Tomorrow I will go to my first AA meeting. I’m nervous and scared to face the truth. I will conquer this demon. I am thankful that I have good people in my life. No more waking up and having a drink. No more passing out where I can’t wake up. I was found in a motel room last night by the night staff who thought I was dead. I have lost my girlfriend, jobs and friends. Today is my first day sober and for the rest of my life.
I have just started stopping drinking. I am board out of my mind what do sober people do on the weekend. I love dancing and talking to people but im scared of temptation of going to clubs and bars. Should i look into medication, i hear u get anti-booze. PLEASE HELP
hi i too am a binge drinker i would go out for one drink end up getting paraletic drunk ,spilling drinks everywhere ,pissing in friends corners of rooms not reliseing what im doing ,falling over ,falling down stairs gettin beaten up for saying stupid stuff,ruining relationships because im embarresing when drunk,getting two day hangovers and having nightmares in my sleep waking up not reliseing where i am running out the my own home..and feeling like a complete idiot , im a decent guy im only 26…but this needs to stop i cant handle the guilt …and the embarresement ,i actualy stayed indoors for 2 and a half months not answering my phone to my friends because the way i act..i do like going out ,but just alcohol
hey guys, determined to beat this now. I’m 30 and started drinking around 14. That’s 16 years of consistent boozing! I would stop here and there but generally when I think of all the times I’ve gotten wasted, I start to realize that holy shit I am a full blown alcoholic! I never really thought of myself that way. I mean I tended only to binge every week or so and everyone around me did relatively the same thing so in a sense I think that society is fairly accepting of this type of behaviour, even though it’s absolutely detrimental to ones progression in life. I just want my life back. I’ve got a good head on my shoulders and I think I’m quite blessed so why fuck it all up because of booze. Seems really easy just to sit here and write as if this will be a piece of cake but I guess tapping that inner confidence is the key to overcoming the demon.
Good read; Comments and all. Thank you
Sobriety Rocks, just sayin
Wow i definitely feel what everyone has been posting. I started “party drinking” at about 18 and felt that it allowed me to be social and popular and even now I am only a phone call away from being the life of the party and feeling important. I am trying to stay sober though because I don’t want a life of going to the bar three times a week and barely remembering how I got home but having friends tell me how much fun we all had. I remeber when going out to a party was an occasion and now we just find any occasion to go party. I don’t want to get to the point where I can’t have one drink without sprialing out of control. I want to have a normal relationship with alcohol, a glass with dinner and that is it. I am trying so hard to stay sober but it is so enticing when friends get me so excited to go out on the town. While it has not yet affected my work or my school I do know that it has to take a toll on my health. I live in a very small town so it really is difficult to reinvent yourself and find new friends because everyone in the town is someone I know and we all seem to do the same things. I have taken up exercise and I read a lot but I find I can’t really do anything with my friends because everything gets turned into a few drinks which turns into 20!! I have thought about quitting so much and this is my first REAL attempt at doing it so I hope I can stick it out, especially since it is new years eve!! Wish me luck
I’ve been up all night reading these posts and it’s so good to not feel alone in my battle till the alcoholic I have become. I’m 31 and was diagnosed with clinical depression about 7 years ago. Thi is around the time my drinking became heavy and I never told the doctor the truth about how much I drink. I have one huge binge every week that lasts from saturday through to Tuesday and then I work the rest of the week in a state of appauling anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks and practically fast my body because of the inability to eat or drink any water. I constantly feel unwell and my friends have no idea how much i am drinking alone. If I go for beers with a friend I will go home at the end of the night and drink 2-3 bottles of wine and some brandy. I pass out and wake up a few hours later then finish whatever is left in the glass and go buy some more drink. This is pretty much my life and what it has become. I am behind on the rent, have no partner and my family live in another country. I had my last drink on Sunday (New years day) and nothing since then and I feel the beginning of the year should be a beginning for me. I haven’t slept since sunday because of palpitations, fear, anxiety and panic so I am going through withdrawl. I have had to change my tee shirt and bed sheets so many times since sunday as they are soaking with sweat. I feel so alone and just want this to stop. How can I start a new life when everything about my life up until now was about alcohol? It will be like learning to walk all over agin. I’m frightened.
Thank you for the posts tonight- they have given me some comfort.
Hi Eugenio,
You have taken such a brave step by quitting the booze, but please go and see your GP if you haven’t already. Going ‘cold turkey’ can be very dangerous when drinking such large amounts.
I stopped drinking one week ago, after many years of social drinking. My relationship is in crisis and I felt I needed a clear head to try and resolve it. 14 years of marriage is too much to loose. the drink was making me feel depressed and I have also been prescribed antidepressants by my GP.
Best of luck to you Eugenio, I hope you are okay!!
Hi,
i stopped drinking 2 months ago after I was admitted to hospital with pneumonia (due to my heavy drinking and my immune system shutting down) im 29 years old and started drinking a crate (of about 20 beers) everyday for the past two years… because I was still sober after the I didnt think I had a problem. It was only when I had a routine blood test whilst in hospital that they found out I had a failing liver!!!
I have had to stop drinking for my daughters sake because it aint fair on them if I died. two months and im still struggling but I take everyday as it comes. going on a stag do in the next month or so to prague so that will be my biggest test… fingers crossed!!! im the only non drinker going, but im going to keep my head up and film all my drunk friends and laugh at them the following morning!!! im abit worried peer pressure might break me but I have to be strong I guess.
good luck everyone
jon