Comments on: How to stay sober when all your friends are drinking

By: jon

jon — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 14:28:16 +0000

Hi missy,

Hardest thing I have found is admitting I have had a problem, but you have managed to recognise that fact so you’re halfway there, be proud…trick is, is to take every day, one day at a time and before you know it you will see the bigger picture. If alcohol is having a negative influence on your life (which happens to be the case for many people) then you will have to stay strong and just say no to it, its sad and scarey but what are your alternatives???…… its hard and sometimes seems impossible but grit your teeth and say “everyday im getting stronger and stronger”. It sounds to me that you have a good support network and family and thats half the battle. try to explain and talk to everyone (that listens) that you and drink have had a falling out and its time you make new friends. you will be suprised at the positive responses I can assure you (try to add humour to break the barriers down!!! its worked for me and I thought I was a lost case). I have been sober about 4 months now and although there is temptation around I feel so much better about myself for staying strong and that in itself spurs me onto the next day etc….. It has to get easier otherwise whats the point??

please find strength in my words because you are certainly not alone and there is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed about. The fact is you are trying self help by using this site and that speaks volumes!!! be proud!!! very proud!!!!

good luck

jon

By: Becky

Becky — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 03:14:38 +0000

Hi Missy,
I have realized, I’m the same as you. One drink is never enough. I will be 33 years old next month and have been binging for the past 4 years. I blamed it on stress. Life. work. whatever. I needed it to relax. I now take klonopin to sleep at night. I drink 3 days on a day off a day on, etc…round it goes. Today I feel stronger. I’m married to an alcoholic…who is passed out as I type this. I have a 5 yr old stepson, that we now have full time because his birth mother is a meth addict. I have plenty of excuses to drink. But I’m not going to. Get out a pen and paper, write a letter to your addiction. Tell it how you’re done with it. Do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of those hangovers, those days when you can’t be there for your family or children the way you want to be. You know those days…the ones when you feel like you were run over by a semi, and you’re in a hangover haze and you functioning, but just barely. I was raised by two drunks. I spent almost a month sober and realized then that I was heading down the same path as my parents. I lost 26 lbs. (alcoholism apparently can also make you anorexic). I don’t eat anymore, I have to force myself to eat. Or if I have a few drinks suddenly I can eat. I won’t live that way anymore. I won’t watch my savings dwindle as I drink it all up and poison myself. There is a life worth living sober. It may take a few months to start feeling that way, but you have to focus on one day of sobriety at a time. When you get an urge, change your habits. Go to AA. Take a walk. Read. anything. move your furniture around. Anything to get through the craving. You can do it. and you deserve it, and your husband and family deserve it too. Forgive yourself. Don’t be ashamed, but let your mind remember that shame to push you into sobriety. Envision your sober life, visualize it as if you already have it. That is what I’m going to do. And I pray for anyone out there dealing with an addiction that they can find their higher power (whatever that may be) and use that power to get sober. I cannot make my husband get sober, but I can make myself do it, and hopefully he’ll see it’s a life worth living. I pray for you and your family. You can do it. All you have to do is want it. Want it more than that drink. Want your sobriety more than that hangover and regret. Want sobriety as if it is your addiction.

By: Missy

Missy — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 21:23:57 +0000

I’ve realized now that I am not alone although I have felt so lately. Thank you all for the realization. I never had a problem with drinking when I was a teen or young adult. I would party and drink too much, then throw up until the next evening and swear to never drink again. It would be 6 months to a year before I’d forget how horrible that felt and take another stab at it. 7 years ago I met my wonderful husband. He drinks regularly but has the self control to consume 1 or 2 drinks and stop. Before long I was drinking on a regular basis with him in the evenings and on weekends. I seemed to have the control to not go overboard but over time I built a tolerence and needed more to feel relaxed. I also realized that if I kept drinking the next day, I didn’t feel so awful. This is what led me to being the binge drinker I am today. I am the Mother of a 7 person combined household. I have all of the excuses in the world to drink, spouses ex wife, teenage daughter, you name it, but I also have every reason not to. I was raised by a single Mom on welfare who was addicted to crack cocaine. I never wanted my children to think of me as someone lazy, with no self control or self worth. This is the only reason I am a “functioning” alcoholic. I now hide drinking from my husband and kids. Most mornings I can’t remember how I got to bed. I have fallen and lied about the bruises. Last Saturday I yelled at my husband calling him some not so nice names because he was mad at me for passing out again. He hasn’t said many words to me since and moves away when I try to touch him. It is Wednesday and I have been sober since Monday. I am sorrowful and scared. I tell myself that it isn’t good for me and that I won’t drink anymore but over the past couple of years two days sober has been my record. I am ashamed. I want to make my family and myself proud. I have gained 20 pounds over the past 2 years because of alcohol alone and drank who knows how much money worth of savings. My emotions are haywire! One moment I am positive I can do this and the next I’m falling apart with guilt and thoughts of “I can’t even drink on our anniversary!” I have realized that it’s all or nothing (never drink again or hurt my family, myself, lose my husband etc.) I can’t be a casual drinker so it’s like losing a friend…a toxic one. I could go on forever but you all know this story. Thank you so much for sharing! You have given me strength to push on. Your prayers for strength to carry me through the upcoming weekend sober would be much appreciated. I will be praying for all of you. -Missy

By: Jamie

Jamie — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 04:49:31 +0000

Thank you for sharing. You have described exactly what i’m going through. I’m having incredible fear and anxiety. I’ve been drinking since the age of 9. I will be 43 in a few days. The main reason I’ve decided to get sober is I have been diagnosed w/hepatitis c. I had a liver biopsy and the news was good. With all the drinking & drugs I’ve done I hadn’t screwed myself up too bad yet. I have been giving a second chance. I’m getting treatment for my hepatitis by taking powerful chemo drugs. The side effects are terrible but I’m determined to get healthy & stay sober. 1 day at a time. thanks for listening. ~~~~Jamie B

By: Jon

Jon — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:48:06 +0000

Hi,

i stopped drinking 2 months ago after I was admitted to hospital with pneumonia (due to my heavy drinking and my immune system shutting down) im 29 years old and started drinking a crate (of about 20 beers) everyday for the past two years… because I was still sober after the I didnt think I had a problem. It was only when I had a routine blood test whilst in hospital that they found out I had a failing liver!!!
I have had to stop drinking for my daughters sake because it aint fair on them if I died. two months and im still struggling but I take everyday as it comes. going on a stag do in the next month or so to prague so that will be my biggest test… fingers crossed!!! im the only non drinker going, but im going to keep my head up and film all my drunk friends and laugh at them the following morning!!! im abit worried peer pressure might break me but I have to be strong I guess.

good luck everyone

jon

By: mike

mike — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:34:18 +0000

Me also I have only stop drinking about a week know and I know I I could talk 2 someone about this problem I have. hopefully I can get through this.

By: mike

mike — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:22:55 +0000

Hi I am 32 and I have I have the problem with drinking. it’s only been a week since I had a beer I want to keep this up I know my life will be a lot better. I’ve tried this before to stop and I’ve always been back drinking again. it would be nice to talk to someone in the same situation as me.

By: Pinky

Pinky — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:17:41 +0000

Hi Eugenio,
You have taken such a brave step by quitting the booze, but please go and see your GP if you haven’t already. Going ‘cold turkey’ can be very dangerous when drinking such large amounts.

I stopped drinking one week ago, after many years of social drinking. My relationship is in crisis and I felt I needed a clear head to try and resolve it. 14 years of marriage is too much to loose. the drink was making me feel depressed and I have also been prescribed antidepressants by my GP.

Best of luck to you Eugenio, I hope you are okay!!

By: Eugenio

Eugenio — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:17:03 +0000

I’ve been up all night reading these posts and it’s so good to not feel alone in my battle till the alcoholic I have become. I’m 31 and was diagnosed with clinical depression about 7 years ago. Thi is around the time my drinking became heavy and I never told the doctor the truth about how much I drink. I have one huge binge every week that lasts from saturday through to Tuesday and then I work the rest of the week in a state of appauling anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks and practically fast my body because of the inability to eat or drink any water. I constantly feel unwell and my friends have no idea how much i am drinking alone. If I go for beers with a friend I will go home at the end of the night and drink 2-3 bottles of wine and some brandy. I pass out and wake up a few hours later then finish whatever is left in the glass and go buy some more drink. This is pretty much my life and what it has become. I am behind on the rent, have no partner and my family live in another country. I had my last drink on Sunday (New years day) and nothing since then and I feel the beginning of the year should be a beginning for me. I haven’t slept since sunday because of palpitations, fear, anxiety and panic so I am going through withdrawl. I have had to change my tee shirt and bed sheets so many times since sunday as they are soaking with sweat. I feel so alone and just want this to stop. How can I start a new life when everything about my life up until now was about alcohol? It will be like learning to walk all over agin. I’m frightened.
Thank you for the posts tonight- they have given me some comfort.

By: kim

kim — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:57:38 +0000

Wow i definitely feel what everyone has been posting. I started “party drinking” at about 18 and felt that it allowed me to be social and popular and even now I am only a phone call away from being the life of the party and feeling important. I am trying to stay sober though because I don’t want a life of going to the bar three times a week and barely remembering how I got home but having friends tell me how much fun we all had. I remeber when going out to a party was an occasion and now we just find any occasion to go party. I don’t want to get to the point where I can’t have one drink without sprialing out of control. I want to have a normal relationship with alcohol, a glass with dinner and that is it. I am trying so hard to stay sober but it is so enticing when friends get me so excited to go out on the town. While it has not yet affected my work or my school I do know that it has to take a toll on my health. I live in a very small town so it really is difficult to reinvent yourself and find new friends because everyone in the town is someone I know and we all seem to do the same things. I have taken up exercise and I read a lot but I find I can’t really do anything with my friends because everything gets turned into a few drinks which turns into 20!! I have thought about quitting so much and this is my first REAL attempt at doing it so I hope I can stick it out, especially since it is new years eve!! Wish me luck