How to stop drinking alcohol
So you’ve come to the decision to stop drinking alcohol. Maybe you’ve tried a few times to just cut down, and drink more sensibly like others around you seem to.
But you’ve had limited success, perhaps you manage it for a week or so, then you’re drinking more again. Then the blackouts and awful hangovers start. Finally you decide its time to quit.
So how do you stop drinking? The first thing is to -
Consider your motivation for stopping
Weigh up the pros and cons of your drinking, the costs versus the benefits.
(write them down here)
- What are the good things about your drinking right now, what does it do for you? This is important to consider, because you need to find other ways to achieve this.
- Then what are the bad things about your drinking? Really dig deep with this – look at your relationships, your health, job, self-esteem, depression etc.
- Next what are the good things you expect to happen when you stop drinking, how will your life be better?
- Finally what are the negative bits about quitting? What is putting you off the idea? Again, this is important because you will have to find some way to solve these concerns.
You need to be reminding yourself about this list of your motivations every time you think about having a drink. The next stage is to find out -
Are you physically dependent on alcohol?
If you are, then you will need some sort of medical supervision to help you through the detox. You might have experienced D.T.s before (the shakes, or Delirium Tremens to be precise), but full scale alcohol withdrawal can be an unpleasant business. Hallucinations, seizures, it can even be fatal. So for the sake of safety, if you are drinking all day from the moment you wake up in order to avoid your hangovers, you should see your doctor before you plan to stop drinking alcohol. They can help you with medication, or even a short stay in hospital to get you over the first week. If the thought of that scares you to death, then you MUST try and cut down a bit before you stop completely.
So you’ve worked out why you want to stop, and if you can stop safely. Now what? You need to -
Develop a plan for how you can avoid those urges to drink.
Read our earlier article on coping with alcohol cravings first. It will give you a few techniques to help you. One thing’s for sure, will-power alone is not enough to stop you from drinking.
You need to work out what are your ‘high-risk’ situations, what are your ‘triggers’ that make you want to drink? Some of these can be avoided, so make plans as to how you can avoid them. For those that clearly can’t be avoided, you have to start thinking about how you can deal with them differently. Make your own relapse prevention strategy.
Now sit back and wait for sobriety.
Ok, so it might not be as easy as all that (of course not), you may well slip and have a drink, you might even relapse in dramatic fashion and wake up in a ditch somewhere. Don’t laugh, it might be you. You haven’t failed, you just let that old habit sneak up and catch you unawares.
This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, this is where you might need the help of a professional. You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.
The same goes for your feelings, learning how can you cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.
You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. And of course, if you find that you need some help, try a counselling session.
Hello all, I can pick out a sentance or two in most posts here that rings a bell with me, I’ve been drink free since christmas eve now and have never felt so good health wise and in so many other ways. I’ve just written down the ‘pros and cons’ of this decision and to say the least the list is a little one sided. Good health, weight loss, self esteem, cash saved, relationship, no fear of loosing my driving licence going to work early each day, have been just a few of the gains. I’ve really been trying hard to put something on the ‘cons’ side of the list but I’m at a loss to do so.
I’ve tried to kid myself by cutting down [like many others] in the past but of course I was kidding myself and within a week or two back at square one. So the realisation has finally dawned that for me anyway, the ONLY way forward is to be totally drink free for the rest of my days. I’d be lieing if I didn’t say the prospect scares me a little today but with each passing ‘clean’ day I feel that a slip now would make the dissapointment that much worse and I don’t want to return to the old me, my partner, my family, myself, all prefer the new one that much more. Good luck to you all, this site is great, I read it on my birthday, xmas eve the day I stopped drinking, and the letters here inspired me then and they still do today.
Hi 20 years drinking the Poison then read Allen Carrs book, i had my last drink and i have not craved or wanted a drink since. Its been so easy to stop drinking to poison.
When i was drinking in the past i didn’t know what i was doing to myself. When you inebriate yourself (drink Alcohol) you are gradually deadening your senses until you are rendered insensible.You are drinking yourself into a metal dullness, a fog. Your brain is shutting down. You are deadening your senses and your faculties.
Given how Alcohol works, how do you know whether you are relaxed, Happy, or having a good Time? If you are inebriated, in a mental dullness, your senses and faculties are deadened how can you trust yourself to decide whether you are happy or not. It just makes you oblivious to everything. You haven’t got the senses or faculties to decide with, and if thats true with you and me, then is true with all your friends and everybody who drinks the Poison (alcohol).
True happiness,relaxed,and unstressed state can only be achieved when you are not drinking the Poison, when you have your brain working 100% so you can tell whether you are having a goog time or not, whether you are relaxed or not. When you wake up in the morning and feel great to be alive alcohol free.
Its great to be free of the POISON Good luck.
8 days – its tough, but worth it.
Yeah Bek, it IS tough……and you’re going to find that it gets more “worth it” as every day goes by.
Hang in there,
Don
Two weeks now – I think this site is a great way to keep things in perspective!
Its good to know (sadly) that other people have the same problems with drinking as I do. I feel abnormal sometimes – but then realizing that other people are going through the same things and succeeding – really makes it seem possible.
Everybody is trying to come off the poison the hard way, Thats why its tough.There is a lot easier way than the willpower way.You are just making it hard for yourselves. You would think people would jump at the chance of a easy cure for their alcohol addiction.
Everbody is concentrating on the disadvantages of drinking alcohol hoping that one day you will wake up and never want to drink alcohol agian.It will never happen.
Look at it like this, Just say i am a drinker and i want to stop drinking alcohol and i am going to use willpower to stop. Now i am not a drinker but their is a problem, in my mind i still believe it is a pleasure or a crutch. So half my mind doesn’t want a drink but the other half of my mind wants a drink, its that battle of wills that makes it hard and a miserable way to come off the poison. It’s the belief that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch and the belief that you will not be able to enjoy life without alcohol.Its a mind problem, its in your head is the problem. Get rid of those beliefs and your alcohol addiction is permanently cured. Its all a con and illusion that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch. their are no advantages to drinking alcohol. Its a depressant how can a chemical like alcohol be but DEVASTATION to anybody who drinks the awful fowl tasting poison.
Hi When I first read Allen Carr’s Book I couldn’t believe that drinking the poison wasn’t a pleasure or crutch because i had been drinking alcohol for 20 years and it was a pleasure/crutch to me. or so i thought.
When we was children, between 0 to 18 years old for me, i didn’t need alcohol at all. when i was a child i used to play for hours with my toys and be happy all day until i went to bed.I didn’t need alcohol then at all, i wouldn’t be miserable as a child if i didn’t have 2 bottles of wine. Even when i went through my exams i didn’t need the Poison.(alcohol) Its only when i started drinking alcohol i started to need it to be happy and get through life.
I didn’t need it before as a child, Now i have got to have it to get through life !!
I only needed alcohol when i started drinking it, So why is that ?
We have all been brainwashed from birth to believe that alcohol is a pleasure/Crutch. So it was bound to happen when we had our first experimental drink and if you can remember it tasted fowl and we didn’t need alcohol to help us in life and provided no pleasure or crutch at all. So why did we carry on drinking the fowl, awful Poison. One reason is we have been brainwashed to believe it is a pleasure/crutch and 90 % of the population can’t be wrong. ( Or can they be wrong ? they was wrong about smoking.) so why did we carry on drinking for years after that first drink.
When your body gets used to that chemical inside you and it runs out your body will want it back in, all you will know is ” i want a drink feeling” Drinkers don’t know it but they go through withdrawal everyday of their lives. When alcohol leaves our body we suffer withdrawal an empty insecure feeling, distress feeling. When that chemical returns to our bodies in the withdrawal period you will feel more relaxed and happier than before. This feeling is not a high, when you take alcohol in the withdrawal period you return to a non drinker state, you return to a normal feeling. because you feel better than a moment before you brain thinks it is a real pleasure/crutch confirming the brainwashing. It is an illusion . When you are in that withdrawal period and you have that ” i what a drink feeling” you also start to crave alcohol this is real misery, and when you have that first drink on a evening its relief from craving it. its relief from the misery of craving it all day. its a bit like wairing tight shoes all day just to get that nice feeling when you take them off.
Nobody needs the fowl, awfal poison, we have all got every naturel chemicals in our bodies to survive and have happy lives, as for as our body is concerned alcohol is a unwanted POISON.
Hope ths helps in some way Good luck.
http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/05/26/addiction-new-research-suggests-its-a-choice/ is another interesting perspective on alcoholism.
If alcohol addition is a choice then you would think you could quite easly chose not to drink without been miserable and sites like this would not be here at all. When people get hooked on alcohol they have not got a choice because when they try stopping, they go so miserable they deside to have the shorter sweeter life of the drinker than the longer duller life of the non drinker. When people try to stop drinking alcohol they believe they are sacrificing a pleasure/crutch so it is so hard and such a miserable nightmare when they come off. Its the brianwashing that its a pleasure/crutch ,thats the problem, remove the belief and see it as a poison (which it is) then you are free for ever as i can testify.
GPS, I’ve been reading your views on alcohol cessation which mainly cover the mental aspects of withdrawal. In my case, and I suspect others, once the decision to quit has been made with coviction, the mental aspects have been dealt with. From then on, in my case anyway, the problem was how to deal with the physical withdrawal symptoms, which I can assure you are NOT mental or imaginary. My biggest reason for failure in the past was a lack of knowledge on this topic. However….whatever system you use, if it keeps you on a sober path, it’s good.
Good health everyone,
Don.
Hi there, bought Allen Carrs “How to control your drinking”. Got to the bit where he gives you the option to go on or go back and i was scared to go on. Maybe try it tonight. Naw had a drink for 4 days!
Hi I have been drinking for 20 years 8 pints a night read allen carrs book, had my last drink then stopped and i had no physical withdrawal symptoms at all. I was not miserable or craved alcohol at all since i stopped.
We are not addicted to the chemical itself, you will not suffer any physical withdrawal symptoms from stopping taking alcohol, other then a slight common cold. Most people don’t suffer anything.
So why do people suffer physical withdrawal symptoms when they stop taking alcohol then?
Its the fear that you will not cope with life without alcohol that causes you to have physical withdrawal symptoms, its not the withdrawal of alcohol itself. Its people panicing, getting themselves into a state of utter fear that causes then physical withdrawal symptoms.
Imagine i told you to cross a busy road, you would have to be careful but you would cross it ok. Now imagine i blindfolded you and blocked your ears up then told you to cross that busy road, before you even attempted to cross the road you would be in utter fear and panic you would not be able to stop shaking, you would be sweating in fear of being killed. Its the belief that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch that causes physical withdrawal symptoms, and the brainwashing that it is really difficult to come off alcohol and you will suffer physical withdrawal symptoms. Thousands of people have come off alcohol with no physical withdrawal symptoms at all.,
These are my views of alcohol addiction for those who want to hear what i say.
Best wishes and keep of the Poison
I’m afraid I need to correct you on this point GPS – sudden withdrawal from alcohol can be life threatening to someone who is sufficiently physically dependent on it – strokes and seizures can occur (like epileptic fits) which can cause brain damage and can be fatal. This usually requires an intake of about 110 units per week for a man or 80 units per week for a woman. You were lucky, that’s all.
I don’t want to argue wether the admin is right or wrong, i don’t want to really go down this road, i just think the main problem with people is craving it after they have stopped drinking. I wonder how many have failed because they can’t cope with the craving. Its the belief that its a Pleasure/crutch that is the problem. Get ride of the Myths then you stop craving it.
I don’t think my point has come across very well. When you come off alcohol some people suffer from fear or not been able to cope off the alcohol, they suffer severe and prolonged mental stress which causes the victim to become run down and more vulnerable to physical diseases.Thats my point i want to put to people.
If you like you can delete my post about physical withdrawal symptoms. its fine with me. All i am trying to do is tell people how to stop their craving.That’s my main point i am trying to make. Not physical withdrawal symptoms.
You have not got a clue m8!
I am physically dependent on alcohol! I wake up each morning after nightmares sweating and violently shaking. I look like i’m breakdancing getting myself to the shop to get my first drink. Life is hell! All i want to do is lead a normal life…
I need help of someone thats been in my position and beat it!
The above cannot be caused by simply being afraid to quit drinking.
Don
If you want to believe what you wrote, then it will be true for you. thats fine. Thousands of people have come of alcohol and not had any physical withdrawal symptoms other than a slight common cold for a week. I am on here to help people to come of alcohol the easy way, like i have. People get brainwashed by these so called experts, many of whom have never had a problem with the poison. From the other comments on this site the main problem is craving alcohol after they have stopped drinking the poison. If you believe it is a pleasure or a crutch you will always crave it. it will never go a way. Alcoholics say they are one drink away from going back on the poison and thats after 20 years.
Get rid of thy Myth that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch and the myth that it is hard to come of the poison and you are cured, and i can testify to that.
Like i say if you believe what you wrote then its true for you.
These are my views of alcohol addiction for those who want to hear.
Best Weshes to every body.
Ok GPS, we’re obviously at an impasse. From now on I will no longer criticize or comment on your theories. For myself, since in the last three months I have always recieved positive feedback for information I have offered, I shall continue to do so when requested.
I wish you a long, happy and sober life.
Don.
Matt, Lachlan, Emma, Bella and others who have stopped posting…..where are you?? Your inputs are essential in helping yourselves and others.
If you’re having problems, you’ll be hard pressed to find a better site than here at brighteyecounselling to help you get back on track.
There’s a lot of people here who really care.
All the best,
Don.
Hi everybody (well don ) I have been drinking for 20 years 8 pints a night read allen carrs book, had my last drink then stopped and i had no physical withdrawal symptoms at all. I was not miserable or craved alcohol at all since i stopped.
When i was drinking i loved the taste of wine or beer but as i remember all them years ago i hated the taste of wine or beer. My first drink was disgusting taste, my dad said “if you practice drinking it you will acquire the taste” and sure enough it did get better the more i drank it, until i liked it, or so i thought.
Why did i think it was disgusting foul taste on my first drink, then after some time, weeks ahead i liked it ?
Well, when we first drank alcohol all them years ago it was a foul taste and our brain & bodies can’t believe we are still persisting in drinking the foul poison, so our brain & bodies does a great favor for us, throwing up, vomiting the foul poison out of our bodies. But because we think we are better than Mother nature we ignor the expert (Mother nature, Our brain & bodies ) and carry on drinking the foul poison. So our brain & body desides to num the taste away, we get immune to the foul taste and the poison it has on our bodies. Just because our brain becomes immune to the taste it doesn’t mean that the taste changes, it still is a foul taste its our perception to that taste thats changes. I am a printer and the smell of ink when i started printing years ago was quite strong, now i can’t smell it at all, its just the same as that ink smell.
We crave alcohol because we believe it is a pleasure/crutch remove the Myths about alcohol and we are cured.
These are my views of alcohol addiction for those who want to hear.If you don’t like them then don’t read them.
Best Weshes to every body.
Sorry posted it on the wrong bit
Hi Don and others. I am sorry that I have not posted in a long while but, guess what, I am really just enjoying life. 2 and a half months have now passed. Never touched a drop and have had many opportunities but I know it is just not worth it. When the first day arrived that I did not think about “drink” for 24 hours I was so pleased with myself. My friends, the road is not easy but that light at the end of the tunnel just gets bigger and bigger. Keep walking towards it. I kinda feel guilty now because I used this site to help me stop drinking and then forgot to post on it. That shows how the thoughts of alcohol are no longer pressing in on me daily. If I can do it from 2 bottles of wine every night and a couple of whisky chasers then you too can do it. Be honest with this site and with yourself and it is poossible. Come along behind me, catch up and walk the sober way with me….. It’s fantastic. Sory again for not being in touch. I will try to be here for others like others were here for me.
Hi everybody (well don ) I have been drinking for 20 years 8 pints a night read allen carrs book, had my last drink then stopped and i had no physical withdrawal symptoms at all. I was not miserable or craved alcohol at all since i stopped.
When i was drinking i loved the taste of wine or beer but as i remember all them years ago i hated the taste of wine or beer. My first drink was disgusting taste, my dad said “if you practice drinking it you will acquire the taste” and sure enough it did get better the more i drank it, until i liked it, or so i thought.
Why did i think it was disgusting foul taste on my first drink, then after some time, weeks ahead i liked it ?
Well, when we first drank alcohol all them years ago it was a foul taste and our brain & bodies can’t believe we are still persisting in drinking the foul poison, so our brain & bodies does a great favor for us, throwing up, vomiting the foul poison out of our bodies. But because we think we are better than Mother nature we ignor the expert (Mother nature, Our brain & bodies ) and carry on drinking the foul poison. So our brain & body desides to num the taste away, we get immune to the foul taste and the poison it has on our bodies. Just because our brain becomes immune to the taste it doesn’t mean that the taste changes, it still is a foul taste its our perception to that taste thats changes. I am a printer and the smell of ink when i started printing years ago was quite strong, now i can’t smell it at all, its just the same as that ink smell.
We crave alcohol because we believe it is a pleasure/crutch remove the Myths about alcohol and we are cured.
These are my views of alcohol addiction for those who want to hear.If you don’t like them then don’t read them.
Best Weshes to every body.
Did you read the reply from Admin to your post at the top of this page?
Have you read Allen Carrs Book. ?
Hi Don this is a post you did earlier
Jim,
I’m almost five months dry, but I’m still having sleep problems. Bad dreams and occasional daytime fatigue. Do you still get this symptom, or, when did it stop?
Thanks,
PS. Congrats on your “almost year”.
Don
I think everybody has these problems. Sleep problems, what makes you think that its due to the alcohol withdrawal. I have sleeping problems but its nothing to do with withdrawal. i sleep 100 times better now than when i drank the poison. Bad dreams who doesn’t have bad dreams? thats nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. I think all my family suffer from fatigue and so do i but its nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. People tend to blame everything that goes wrong in there live on the fact that they have stopped drinking the poison. and some people ( i don’t mean you ) use these excuses to go back on the poison for their ” health ” you understand. There is nothing wrong with you, you are fine you just have to believe it . Going back on the poison will make everything worse.There is some good books on sleeping better, thats the way to go but these small problems everybody suffers from, hope this helps you Good luck.
Rosie,
another weekend, are you still hanging tough. Five months for me at midnight tonight. Life just seems to get better every day.
Have a dry one everybody!
Don
Howdy Don…I am nearly at 100 days. Who’d have thought eh? Life is so much better and I am finding that the smallest things please me- everything from a cup of tea to a walk. 5 months eh? Brilliant, I am so pleased for you. x
GPS – like many, I read Allen Carr’s book and found it extremely helpful. And while we all visit this website with one thing in common – alcohol problems- I think it is important to keep in mind that each and everyone of us are uniquie and we have to find our own “route” and “aids” on this journey as well as being aware that many individuals have had severe addictions that have ruined lives and relationships.I can sense your strength and success from your post but everyones experience is different and “just coming off” is not as easy for everyone especially those whoo have had a bigger battle. I run the risk of offending you by suggesting that your many quotes from Allen Carr’s book may alienate others from using it. The book is very much about personalising the process as you read.
Hi Linda…how’s things with you?
Hi everyone else too… Happy w.end. Heading to the theatre and looking forward to it even more so as the ticket cost would have been wine funds before. When the curtain goes up- I will think of you all
The problem is people don’t read it and understand it. I can tell people are trying to use willpower to come off alcohol, and they are finding it tough. Like yourself you was so weak the other day when you had friends round for a party and you gave them a drink of wine, you are still craving it. The willpower way does not work it only makes you crave it more. Nobody on this site is talking about differant ways to come off you are all talking about willpower way and in doing so causing people to ultimately fail.I wounder how many people have failed because of people encuraging them to use willpower.
What can i do but tell people how i come off alcohol, you tell how you come off alcohol so why can’t i tell people how i come off alcohol.All i am doing is telling people how i came off the poison, thats all. If people don’t like what i say then don’t read it, move on to the next post.
Why don’t people like what i say ? I think the reason is it makes people feel stupid they can’t except that they have been wrong about alcohol and they have been conned, its pride thats at the bottem of all this opposition. Anyway no hard feeling Good luck Rosie
Rosie,
I personally consider you one of the strongest people on this site. You’re very sensitive to other’s needs and an inspiration to many visitors.
Don.
Hi Don this is a post you did earlier
Jim,
I’m almost five months dry, but I’m still having sleep problems. Bad dreams and occasional daytime fatigue. Do you still get this symptom, or, when did it stop?
Thanks,
PS. Congrats on your “almost year”.
Don
I think everybody has these problems. Sleep problems, what makes you think that its due to the alcohol withdrawal. I have sleeping problems but its nothing to do with withdrawal. i sleep 100 times better now than when i drank the poison. Bad dreams who doesn’t have bad dreams? thats nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. I think all my family suffer from fatigue and so do i but its nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. People tend to blame everything that goes wrong in there live on the fact that they have stopped drinking the poison. and some people ( i don’t mean you ) use these excuses to go back on the poison for their ” health ” you understand. There is nothing wrong with you, you are fine you just have to believe it . Going back on the poison will make everything worse.There is some good books on sleeping better, thats the way to go but these small problems everybody suffers from, hope this helps you Good luck.
Thank you Don. x
Hi Alcohol Addiction is a mental problem not a physical one.
You have two choices, use Willpower to come off alcohol which means you will always crave it all your life. Every evening trying to drink as much coffee or tea down you as much as you can to try to get rid of the cravings because you are miserable, Every time you socialize you crave a drink of alcohol and be miserable because you can’t have one. And like AA say have a satisfactory life.
Or swallow that pride and remove the belief that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch and remove the brainwashing that its difficult to come off and you wont enjoy life without alcohol. Then you will be FREE from alcohol for ever without ever craving it. I don’t crave it on a evening or on social nights out at all. In fact i feel sorry for people who drink the Poison. And have a HAPPY life, never Craving it at all.
Infact alcohol has never ever been doing anything for you at all, its not taking anything away from you by stopping drinking.
Your choice i know which one i would pick.
All the Best and Good bye.
If only it was that simple – you seem to be saying “just stop drinking”?
Day 50!!! Good luck everone!
Well done Stevie j.
How you doing Mamamissy,Lachlan and those others we have been on this journey with? Hi to the Michaels and Hi to everyone else too.
Rosie
Hi Rosie
I am good thanks – hope you enjoyed the theatre. We had friends come to stay last night and I thought I would have a drink – I didn’t, just a quick post today as should be with my friends but want to have a few things to say later and await your comments, I agree with Don on his last post, thank you for encourging me your comments and kind thoughts are a great help.
Have a good rest of the weekend eveyone.
LInda x
Their is not many “routes” or ways to come off alcohol and be happy about it & not crave it. The only way to come off and not crave it and be happy is to remove the brainwashing thats its a pleasure. Allen Carrs book, or his method of coming off is the happiest way to come off and its permanant and craving free. Allen Carrs book is not a book you can pick and choose what you like and dont like from it.
I was totally addicted to alcohol i drank 8 pints a night, i suffered from depression and anxiety and at times i just wanted to end it all. Then i thought is alcohol making me more depressed ? so i looked on the internet and got Allen carrs book and its been great off the poison. I did not crave it sinces Day one or any day after that and its been 4 weeks now.
I think people deep down are thinking ” i don’t want to know about Allen carrs method because i will never be able to go back drinking, it will spoil the pleasure for life. And to think i have wasted all that money and time drinking alcohol and all the time its been doing nothing , i just can’t cope with that thought. Its best not to read it and carry on using willpower method ”
You have a problem with Alcohol it will always be there and always be a problem you can never go back drinking you have nothing to lose by taking on Allen carrs method. If at back of your mind you are thinking that if i read Allen Carrs book i will never be able to enjoy drinking again then so i will not read it, you will fail, because you are thinking deep down that you are going to go back on it . And if you are never going back drinking then what have you to lose.
Best Weshes
But it’s not brainwashing that alcohol is a pleasure, its direct experience – I drink and it feels good, what’s ‘brainwashing’ about that?? As far as I could tell, Allen Carr was just saying “don’t drink because its not worth it”, but all he seemed to offer was willpower, no real techniques or anything?
Glyn……you sound just like GPS !!
I was going to say “what a great bloke that GPS is you should lisen to him” but i don’t lie.Its my first name thats all, i thought it sounded better than GPS.
Well Linda, after a bit of a struggle, you sound more determined. Keep it up, you won’t regret it
Keep in touch,
Don
Thanks Don
x
Seen that nobodies posting anything thats got any meat to it. I will put a post in, so you can read it. I have plenty to say on Alcohol Addiction.
I have been drinking for 20 years and the amount of times i have tried to stop drinking alcohol is too many to count, i think its in the hundreds! I would go 3 days then friday would come and i would fail, saturday morning i would wake up feeling ill, depressed and feeling a failure. So saturday night i was not going to drink but of cause i failed, i would wake up feeling ill, depressed and feeling a failure again. Once i went 3 months without it, problem is my reasons for stopping was it was bad for me, it was making me depressed and anxious but after 3 months off alcohol i felt much better, i still crave it even after 3 months, i think my willpower was getting low and boozing wasn’t too bad after all so i would have one, just one, well two, in no time at all i was back boozing again, every day waking up feeling ill, depressed and feeling a failure. I thought i need more willpower to stop drinking but i have plenty of willpower, i play two instruments and i am in a band, i have plenty of willpower but when it comes to alcohol my willpower does not work.
I thought i need to find more information on the bad effects of alcohol, perhaps that will strengthen my willpower and help me to stop. so i got a list as long as your arm but that didn’t work. I still craved it and ended up boozing.
Everytime i used willpower to stop it didn’t work, lots of differant ways on the willpower way i tryed but ever time i failed. Willing yourself not to drink alcohol does not work.
Willpower way is you stop yourself from drinking the pleasure of alcohol by resisting to drink it. You are stopping drinking that pleasure of alcohol by your willpower. You believe its a pleasure and you are stopping yourself from drinking that pleasure.
Why is it that i keep on using willpower to stop, when it didn’t work 100 times in the past. I keep on using a method which failed every time and when i was off it i would be miserable because i would be craving it. Willpower just doesn’t work because you still crave it and thats why you go back drinking alcohol.
You go back drinking alcohol because you see it as a pleasure you crave it, even after you have been off it for years. If you have been off it for a year and still crave it then you are not cured.You still have a problem.
You have to approach it from a differant angle, you need to remove the craving. See it like its a poison which it is and there is no advantages to drinking alcohol at all
Best wishes
“you need to remove the craving” – Er, how exactly. You’re saying “don’t use willpower”, but you’re not saying what the alternative is.
Phil, GPS{also known as Glyn) wrote in his Feb 19 post…quote”We are not addicted to the chemical itself, you will not suffer any physical withdrawal symptoms from stopping taking alcohol, other then a slight common cold.”
Are you sure you want to try and reason with someone who believes that?
You sound a very bitter man don, i wish people would grow up and stop being childish, you believe what you want and i will believe what i want. i will do a post for Phill, he sounds like a goog bloke phill does.
Can we get back to helping people don and stop been childish.
If you read GPS posts which are my posts,( i have changed my name to Glyn,) i cover a lot if it there. Its a big subject but the reason we drink is we see it as a pleasure/Crutch. We have been brainwashed to believe its a pleasure and a crutch, People don’t stop drinking for the reasons they shouldn.t, people drink for the reasons they do. We drink because we believe its a pleasure. Its hard to believe but there are no advantages to drinking alcohol. Remove that belief then you stop craving it.
Look at it like this, Just say i am a drinker and i want to stop drinking alcohol and i am going to use willpower to stop. Now i am not a drinker but their is a problem, in my mind i still believe it is a pleasure or a crutch. So half my mind doesn’t want a drink but the other half of my mind wants a drink, its that battle of wills that makes it hard and a miserable way to come off the poison. It’s the belief that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch and the belief that you will not be able to enjoy life without alcohol.Its a mind problem, its in your head is the problem. Get rid of those beliefs and your alcohol addiction is permanently cured. Its all a con and illusion that alcohol is a pleasure/crutch. their are no advantages to drinking alcohol. Its a depressant how can a chemical like alcohol be but DEVASTATION to anybody who drinks the awful fowl tasting poison.
A great book to bye is “Allen carr’s easy way to control alcohol” its a new mothod of coming off, bye it and read it till the penny drops. You can ask me anything you want about the subject Good luck Phill
Has that helped Phill ? If you learn that alcohol does not make you Happy or relieves stress, Its not sociable, it does not give you courage, Removing your inhibitions is a disadvantage, It does not relieve bordem but it is a POISON whats slowly KILLING you. Then you have no reason to crave it, you have no reason to drink it. infact you will want to never drink it again.
Phill, Allen Carr is not saying use willpower he is against willpower.
When your body gets used to that chemical(alcohol) inside you and it runs out your body will want it back in, all you will know is ” i want a drink feeling” Drinkers don’t know it but they go through withdrawal everyday of their lives. When alcohol leaves our body we suffer withdrawal an empty insecure feeling, distress feeling. When that chemical returns to our bodies in the withdrawal period you will feel more relaxed and happier than before. This feeling is not a high, when you take alcohol in the withdrawal period you return to a non drinker state, you return to a normal feeling. because you feel better than a moment before you brain thinks it is a real pleasure/crutch confirming the brainwashing. It is an illusion . When you are in that withdrawal period and you have that ” i what a drink feeling” you also start to crave alcohol this is real misery, and when you have that first drink on a evening its relief from craving it. its relief from the misery of craving it all day. its a bit like wairing tight shoes all day just to get that nice feeling when you take them off.
It makes you stressed because you crave it all day and when that chemical returns to your body you feel better than a moment before.its not real pleasure, the sad bit about drinkers is that they are returning to a nondrinker state, they are getting back to normall
Because you don’t feel the change in you over the years you don’t realize you are getting sadder and sadder more depressed when you take alcohol and get drunk this numing affect gives you the illuion of pleasure. does that help.
the most sad bit about drinking is the alcoholic just returns to a nondrinker state.
my 4th sober weekend now.. girlfiriend offered some wine to celebrate this.. there was a third of bottle left..but I refused saying Ive declared this year to be the year of my sobriety..33 is a mgic age… I also hope to excell in a number of other ways;) Good luck
Good one Arunas…..you’re well on your way!!
Don
I get the feeling that some people don’t want me to be on this site. Its a sad fact that people who still crave alcohol are against a new better method of coming of alcohol and are against it.
It does’t say anything about me but a lot about these narrow minded people who are against what i say and against Allen Carr’s book. These people have a lot to learn about alcohol addiction and i can only feel sorry for them because they will always have a problem with alcohol.
I am only interested in people who want to come off and learn how it all works.
This is my last post.
Best Weshes.
hey everyone.
am still counting days (42). haven’t touched a drop and feeling good about it. i really think it’s all about the mindset and wanting to stay clean as it is a nice feeling, being more in touch with yourself…….however, the cold reality of some aspects of my life as it stands can be a little hard to take at the moment. i have behaved badly many times under the influence of alcohol and this can be hard to take if i dwell on things too long, which i try not to do.
i am still going through some post acute withdrawals. i am very short tempered with myself and others on occasion and am beginning to think i need some extra help with this….maybe a visit to the gp? though they haven’t been a tremendous help in the past .
overall i am feeling very optimist about things and am totally enjoying being sober. it is just the aftermath that is a little tricky to overcome.
i have been to the library to get allen carrs book (before seeing the recent posts on here….haven’t had internet for a week). anyway, the alcohol book he wrote is on loan so i got one he wrote about stopping worrying instead (another problem of mine….anyone else?!). i found it to be a good book. it contains 16 golden rules which all make sense.
to gps….i don’t think anyone is denying what you are saying, in terms of the brainwashing aspect. it’s true, with powerful media imagery, people have been led to believe drinking is a pleasure. of course for some it can be, but for people whos drinking spirals out of control (for whatever reason) it becomes the total opposite. i also agree that willpower alone is not the answer. however, it is a start which can lead to other things, such as good eating habits, exercise and the realisation that drinking is not pleasurable or a good idea for you (people like us).
i found your comment about people leaving posts with no meat unnecessary. every post here is valid and is helping people heal, in one way or another , like you are trying to do. i know when i first posted here, just the fact i did and then had one person reply meant the world to me as i was just starting out and feeling very alone. it didn’t really matter what i , or they said, it was just the connection that was important. people will find the answers they need in their own time. if you expect people to respect what you say, then you in turn must do the same.
anyway, i don’t want this to turn into a negative post, or fight with anyone, because we are all here to mend ourselves and the support is much needed, however it may come.
love and light, matt xx
Sounds like you are doing great Matt…hopefully the symptoms that are hampering you will ease. It is tempting to beat ourselves up about past experience and regret. Try not to be too hard on yourself. While the past is a reminder of where we never want to go again, and therefore a useful tool – It is exactly what it is-in the PAST. Take some of that strength you are gaining and focus on the future. Keep remembering that you have come a long way in a such a short time. Look forward to a brighter future…
Ps. I thought you post summed up what many have been thinking about this website recently. Thank you.
Rosie
hey, thanks rosie! i am looking forward to a brighter future as i hope you are too. it will be a neat trick if i can become a glass half full person (a slightly ironic turn of phrase there for us folk!), which i haven’t been for many years and have acted like a total victim alot of the time. i know this is not my true self though.
sometimes i think i hold myself back from allowing myself to be too happy cos that usually means something bad is gonna happen….just the way my brain works sometimes. it is exactly one of the voices i don’t want to listen to anymore and i think the strength i gain from enjoying sobriety will help with this.
i hope things are going great guns for you? how long has it been for you now?
this site is great, i’m so glad i found it!
love and light , matt xx
Hi Matt good to hear you’re doing so well. As far short temper is concerned, is it possibly due to your sugar intake? A sudden increase in insulin can result in mood swings.
i have been really good with sugar intake. i used to eat alot in the past. these last few weeks (about 3 now) i’ve really knocked it on the head. only sugary stuff is organic yoghurts and fruit + a very occasional small dessert (about 3 ).
i also suffer with back problems (rheumatism). (was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis a few years back, though sometimes wonder if this is really true or not?) anyway, since stopping drinking the pain seems to be alot worse which isn’t helping much either, but is another reason to stop drinking (and eating crap aswell). used to take meds for this but hated taking 4 tablets a day every day. i need to get more massage / exercise to help with this. i was lucky enough to have enough money to buy myself a really nice new bed which is being delivered next week! i hope this is going to help with my back problem. forgot to mention this before.
I was not going to say anything but a few words on physical withdrawal symptoms, If you suffer from fatigue or short tempered symptoms.
If you eat or drink a lot just before you go to bed say lots of pop or coffee, you will not sleep very well, you will have a very light sleep because your body has to process the food or non alcoholic drink out of your body. its well known fact you must not eat or drink 4 hours before you go to bed and if you do you will suffer fatigue or short tempered symptoms and worse. If you don’t believe me look up “sleep deprivation symptoms” on the internet.
People when coming off alcohol tend to eat or drink a lot to get rid of the cravings on a night and in doing so suffer from sleep deprivation symptoms not alcohol physical withdrawal symptoms.
The people on this site will not except this view because they are not after a cure they are after sympathy and people who play up to them are just making them worse.
These symptoms these people get is nothing to do with alcohol, why do people blame everything that goes wrong in their lives on stopping drinking Alcohol? .
thankyou very much. i do eat kinda late because i finish work late and can’t eat dinner before 9pm. i am a night owl though so stay up til about 2 am usually. i will try not eating 4 hrs before bed, maybe i’ll have to eat more in the morning and just snack in the evening. thanks for the advice.
i accept what you are saying, please don’t worry. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion. i take on board fully what you’ve said and will try out your advice.
i don’t think anyone on here wants sympathy or pandering to, but SUPPORT from people going through a similar situation. support and sympathy are 2 different things. this is a hard thing to go through, which you will know having done it yourself . softly softly is a better approach i feel with people going through the early stages of stopping heavy drinking. don’t feel ambushed. feel the love in the room.
be open to people not agreeing with you, as you yourself clearly don’t with others. it works both ways.
thanks again for the sound advice.
love and light. matt xx
Matt, sorry to hear about your back problems. I’ve had a few bouts of sciatica. Fortunately i didn’t have to deal with it at the same time as alcohol withdrawal. I hope that the improved lifestyle you’ve achieved will also help your back ailment. I’d also suggest exercise but am hesitant since very specific exercises are required in your case. You’re a tough man.
All the best,
Don.
thanks don. i’m really excited today cos my brand new sparkly bed is being delivered tomorrow and i can’t wait to get it. am hoping it is gonna help with my back. i’m going for a massage one day in the week and should really get round to taking up swimming again. i have good days and bad with it. i hope to see and all round improvement by the summer.i have specific exercises i do given to me by the docs …alot of gentle stretching ones.
thanks for the reply, it’s really great to be able to chat to people on here, it gives me a real lift. hope things are going great guns in your world.
love and light, matt xx
Rosie,
Re your PS to Matt. Don’t worry, things will get back to normal. Please don’t leave, your posts are much appreciated by all.