How to stop drinking alcohol
So you’ve come to the decision to stop drinking alcohol. Maybe you’ve tried a few times to just cut down, and drink more sensibly like others around you seem to.
But you’ve had limited success, perhaps you manage it for a week or so, then you’re drinking more again. Then the blackouts and awful hangovers start. Finally you decide its time to quit.
So how do you stop drinking? The first thing is to -
Consider your motivation for stopping
Weigh up the pros and cons of your drinking, the costs versus the benefits.
(write them down here)
- What are the good things about your drinking right now, what does it do for you? This is important to consider, because you need to find other ways to achieve this.
- Then what are the bad things about your drinking? Really dig deep with this – look at your relationships, your health, job, self-esteem, depression etc.
- Next what are the good things you expect to happen when you stop drinking, how will your life be better?
- Finally what are the negative bits about quitting? What is putting you off the idea? Again, this is important because you will have to find some way to solve these concerns.
You need to be reminding yourself about this list of your motivations every time you think about having a drink. The next stage is to find out -
Are you physically dependent on alcohol?
If you are, then you will need some sort of medical supervision to help you through the detox. You might have experienced D.T.s before (the shakes, or Delirium Tremens to be precise), but full scale alcohol withdrawal can be an unpleasant business. Hallucinations, seizures, it can even be fatal. So for the sake of safety, if you are drinking all day from the moment you wake up in order to avoid your hangovers, you should see your doctor before you plan to stop drinking alcohol. They can help you with medication, or even a short stay in hospital to get you over the first week. If the thought of that scares you to death, then you MUST try and cut down a bit before you stop completely.
So you’ve worked out why you want to stop, and if you can stop safely. Now what? You need to -
Develop a plan for how you can avoid those urges to drink.
Read our earlier article on coping with alcohol cravings first. It will give you a few techniques to help you. One thing’s for sure, will-power alone is not enough to stop you from drinking.
You need to work out what are your ‘high-risk’ situations, what are your ‘triggers’ that make you want to drink? Some of these can be avoided, so make plans as to how you can avoid them. For those that clearly can’t be avoided, you have to start thinking about how you can deal with them differently. Make your own relapse prevention strategy.
Now sit back and wait for sobriety.
Ok, so it might not be as easy as all that (of course not), you may well slip and have a drink, you might even relapse in dramatic fashion and wake up in a ditch somewhere. Don’t laugh, it might be you. You haven’t failed, you just let that old habit sneak up and catch you unawares.
This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, this is where you might need the help of a professional. You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.
The same goes for your feelings, learning how can you cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.
You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. And of course, if you find that you need some help, try a counselling session.
Just to remind people this forum is about “How to stop drinking alcohol” and people can put their views on how they have stopped drinking alcohol and it is wrong to dislike people who have come off it in a differant way to others. Other people gives advice but when they get advice which is opposite to there beliefs they don’t like it, in fact they stop posting altogether!.
We live in a world which has many differant views, we have to just except this and not run off.
All the best.
Remember this is a site about “How to stop drinking alcohol”
Gps
I don’t think you are a very nice person, and you contradict yourself thoughout your rants.
I for one have been helped by all the support, kind comments and respect that has been given not just to me but to others no matter what the posts say.
Yes this site is about “How to stop drinking” and any support that people can get from other peoples experience is valuable- and who are you to call someone a hypocondriac you don’t have that right.
Good luck to all
Good for you Linda, I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt that way…….GPS….GO AWAY maybe there’s another site that needs you.
Don
These are my views to help people. The problem is people don’t like the truth. People on this site think they own the right to say “you can’t say your view” and people are been very childish and stupid over the fact that i have a view which doesn’t fit there view. You are all wrong in telling me that i can’t say my view.
If i have a view on a subject and that view is differant to other people, that does not make me a very nice person, its a silly thing to say.
Just because i put a post in on a subject it does not mean i am ranting, the comment is silly.
You all have got it in for me and don started it all in the first place. i have done nothing wrong, its that you just can’t except that people have a differant view.
And not posting anything and staying away, then when you do post somthing you slag me off, is not helping any body at all but showing yourselves up.
You have the problem not me and i wish we could get on with helping people in our own way, instead of this childishness
Good luck to all
And you say you don’t rant!?
Helping someone does not mean telling them what they want to here, helping someone means telling them what you think will help them and sometimes that might upset them but they will get better from it. Telling people what they want to here when it will not help them will only make them worse. Its just commen sense really and if they don’t like it just ignor it. thats all you have to do just ignor it.
To tell people to “GO AWAY” because you don’t like peoples advice is just silly talk.
Oops, sorry, I thought you’d finished.
hello to all , i visited this site to find encouragement in the difficult times following a road after alcohol dependancy,however am i right in thinking its a blog of tit for tat mini arguments by some???????? i wish you all well its not an easy road to follow.
Linda and Don, you are not alone is your upset regarding the recent posts. I have to be honest and say that I was relieved earlier when GPS said that he would no longer be posting. It saddens me that I felt that way because reading how he and others are tackling their addictions is what this website is all about. However, the tone behind some of his posts have knocked my confidence this passed few days. They have left me feeling I must be stupid for still being on my journey…
I have no doubt that you are reading this GPS, but before replying I would ask you to consider the fact that for me, you have changed the whole tone of the postings recently. Don has spoken for many, I am sure. I came to this site 99 days ago- on a Sunday -and read many posts I could relate to. That is what this website is about. If I had visited for the first time this Sunday, I would have navigated away. It concerns me that any new visitors visiting this site will have been put of by the mixed messages and argumentative tone of the last few days.
I for one would respect your earlier decision not to post further…
Why is everybody blaming me. lets be honest the reason you blame me is because you don’t like the way i have come off alcohol and had no cravings no physical withdrawal symptoms and i can say very easy to come off the poison and you don’t like my views on the subject so much you want me to go, its not me who has a problem its Don,Linda and you (Rosie). I am just putting my views down thats all. And why is it that you all stopped posting in the first place because you don’t like my views, how silly is that. Its Don,Linda and you (Rosie). who are the trouble makers not me.
Hi this is a post Don did earlier
Jim,
I’m almost five months dry, but I’m still having sleep problems. Bad dreams and occasional daytime fatigue. Do you still get this symptom, or, when did it stop?
Thanks,
PS. Congrats on your “almost year”.
Don
What do you think really and whats the best advice you could give him.
You could say ” i hope your physical withdrawal symptoms go away soon and you get well again.Stick at it mate, you are doing so well ” but surely that would be so cruel to him. Its not helping him at all and he will not get better, because the sympathy you give him makes him believe that he has really got physical withdrawal symptoms.
Or you could say “I think everybody has these problems. Sleep problems, what makes you think that its due to the alcohol withdrawal. I have sleeping problems but its nothing to do with withdrawal. i sleep 100 times better now than when i drank the poison. Bad dreams who doesn’t have bad dreams? thats nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. I think all my family suffer from fatigue and so do i but its nothing to do with alcohol withdrawal. People tend to blame everything that goes wrong in there live on the fact that they have stopped drinking the poison. and some people ( i don’t mean you ) use these excuses to go back on the poison for their ” health ” you understand. There is nothing wrong with you, you are fine you just have to believe it . Going back on the poison will make everything worse.There is some good books on sleeping better, thats the way to go but these small problems everybody suffers from, hope this helps you Good luck.” It sounds a bit crule but its good advice and some times you have to be crule to be kind.
If he is drinking lots of coffee in the day and evening he will not sleep very good and he will get a mild “sleep deprivation symptoms” . How can someone have 5 months off alcohol and suffer occasional daytime fatigue and blame it on alcohol withdrawel it just does not make sence.5 month off alcohol and he thinks his symptoms are from alcohol withdrawel, It can’t be can it just think about it.
My advice will help him if he listens to it but if he does not’ nobody can help him. If he gets upset over my advice then thats his problem not my problem.
If anybody can’t follow my reasoning on this site then who am i talking to here? If you can’t understand that its good advice and it helps him, then what type of problems have you all got. I think i am wasting my time posting to you.
So Best weshes i think you all deserve each other Good Bye.
GPS, you finally got something right, yes, we do deserve each other. What we don’t deserve is YOU.
Hope you really mean goodbye this time.
hi all
hitting the four month mark
now socialising without a need to drink… never would ve believed i d have more confidence but i do…self esteem increasing on a daily basis…
its good to have a clearer sense of who i am and not to lose everything every time i go out(including friends and dignity)
the incredibly angry part of the withdrawal is now subsiding( with some professional guidance) and i exercise every second day….
in chinese medicine the liver is the “seat” of anger in the body so its interesting that as it heals a lot of repressed rage can emerge…
and that s something i find exercise helps to manage
including the dreaded “passive agression”…..
and grief for the time and potential i have lost through” being out of it” is another thing im grappling with
still keeping a gratitude diary with being sober at the top of the list
and a daily journal for rants and ideas
and naturally reading the inspirational posts here
i wish you all strength to find your own way through it
Emma, so glad you’re still posting. I took your advice Re. exercise, running is a bit to punishing for someone my age so I bought a stationary bike. I’m up to 4K once in the morning and the same in the PM. And you’re right I feel great. It’s almost addictive…oops, maybe I shouldn’t say that!
Post soon,
Don.
good for you don…
keep focusing on the positives!
your posts really helped when i happened upon the site…
Emma, I’m on my fifth sober week now and Im finding anger management a bit of an issue. Could you please share a little bit more of what’s working for you.. (extra info, links, sites are also o.k.)… Ive become short tempered and quite cynical over the years… it’s not necessarily that this was caused by drinking but Id like to know your opinion about drinking/anger/healing… I posted on this some time ago, but nobody replied;))
hi arunas
first up…well done!
a friend of mine is a herbalist/tcm practicioner and she maintains the liver is the seat of emotions such as anger….if you are that way inclined it might be worth your while investigating acupuncture….also milk thistle is a brilliant supplement
i cant overemphasise how good it is to write in a journal morning and/or evening to vent the anger…and dont censor yourself…
and cognitive behavioural therapy has been invaluable to me as a means to approach the world in a new way….again it all depends on your personality…
find a form of exercise you love…investigate …because its fun to investigate !
i suppose the main thing for me was getting some professional help…and to remember that nothing stays the same for long, the good and the bad times….at least the anger is finding its way out now instead of being suppressed by booze…look at dons post on PAWS…it made a lot of sense to me….
above all be real good to yourself
i hope thats helpful
Hi All,
Hope everyone is doing ok. I’m on day 16 and feeling pretty good at the moment, had some really bad days over the past couple of weeks but I’m still here. I’m now reaping the rewards of not drinking, sleeping well and having really productive days. I have been asked on a night out with the girls on Saturday, I’m not sure what to do. I’m not sure if its just to early to test myself, I’ve already said that if I go I will be driving. I really fancy getting dressed up and going out but is this a good idea? any tips would be great. Keep stong people!!
hi bella
get dressed up!
find a substitute to alcohol…some people suggested mocktails(i drink a coffee or two) and the car gets rid of overexplaining why you re not drinking….
maybe leave a little earlier if you feel unsure….
plan a few treats for the following day…
and enjoy the morning after!!
Thanks for that Emma, I am going to go out, after all I cant hide for the rest of my life in order not to drink, thankfully the horrors of last time I drank are still pretty vivid in my head and I dont want to go back there. I read your earlier post on how your finding it easier to go out now, this really gives me hope, we have a really busy social life and a summer of weddings ahead and was starting to worry that I was doomed to evenings in!! Well done on the 4 months!!! you’ve really inspired me, thanks!
Bella, good to hear you are fine but please be careful with going out. Once you hit a bar/club or whatever ‘going out’ means to you you are tempted be a number of things (at least this is the case with me and there have been articles on this site talking about the restriction of the tempting situations/factors). I get high on the SMELL of fresh mojitos, SIGHT of abig crowd dancing, I TOUCH people as Im making my way to the bar so the last thing is to TASTE a mojito (to start with) and join the crowd… so you see, by going out you set yourself against a number of factors which are not working in your favour and even though coming back sober seems to be a great thing to accomplish, the chances are that you never know if you are able to resist the tempation…I think I will (maybe) try going out after three months or so.. but this is a personal decision
Thanks for that also Arunas, I have alot to bear in mind. This isn’t going to be easy!!!
How i stopped drinking was i found Allen Carr’s book on the internet and could not stop reading it. When i learnt that basically the pleasures of alcohol is very similar to the “placebo effect.” not quite the same, and alcohol doesn’t relax you, the pleasure/crutch is an illusion and infact all you are doing to yourself is causing depression and anxiety, basiclly its a slow suicide and the average drinker spends 100.000 pounds in their lifetime on alcohol. I stopped drinking it, stopped craving it and lost my desire for it, and its deen great ever since
Best weshes
Hi all, on my eighth day. Feelin full of energy but finding it hard to sleep. Waking up sweating hourly. No problem getting up for work in the morning and i dont feel tired in the evenings. Suppose its better than poisoning myself to sleep every night.
Cheers
Hector
Hi Hector,
insomnia is very common. I went through a period of it myself. I used to just lie there and tell myself how great I was going to feel in the morning. Sometimes that thought used soothe me so much that i fell asleep.
Keep it up, it is SO worth it
All the best,
Don
oops….used TO soothe me
Hi Don, had a good nights sleep last night but i feel absolutly shattered today. Double edged sword i suppose. On my ninth day and im going for a walk on my lunch break to see if it perks me up.
I have been off alcohol since New Year. I had no physical withdrawal symptoms but did struggle for a few weeks, although now it’s getting easier. If you are still struggling after 5 months then you must have problems and it doesn’t look good me us newbie’s.
Drinking for so long and then stopping is a massive culture shock to your brain. Brains like routine and will convince you to drink until not drinking becomes the routine (if you catch my drift). This can take a long time though. You need to disassociate good memories with drinking, and when you start to struggle remember all of the bad points (waking up with a hangover, beer belly, aches, dodgy skin) and think of all the benefits (you’re in control, more money, fitter, healthier). I always feel better after coming out the end of a struggling period, like a sense of control and achievement. I really don’t want to lose that feeling!
I think the funny thing is: When you drink you have a great night and a rubbish morning after. When you don’t drink you have a rubbish night and a great morning after!! Good things come to those who wait!
Since giving up drinking I have lost 11lbs, I can actually see my willy and my chin is making a reappearance too
D
With reference to GPS dominating the site: He obviously has very strong views, but we’re all different so give others a chance to speak (or type in this case). Also, I hope your are on commission from sales of Allen Carrs book, because you should be a rich man by now. Saying that, I don’t need a book to tell me that drinking too much alcohol is bad for you and like to think I am brainy enough to work out how to stop by myself
p
RoyBoy making ma day with the post.. the end in particular…you know in my country there is this saying – every village has its own fool..and so do we… this only shows we are becoming a real community;))
I have been drinking for 20 years and i thought i new everything about alcohol. The amount of times i have tried to come off alcohol is too many to count. When i did come off, it was a nightmare. The craving was bad, when i went out socializing i was miserable, tried to be happy but it was not the same. At home every evening i was miserable, i just went to bed early. It was just a matter of time before my willpower ran out and be on the poison again. I got sick of failing.
Then i got Allen Carr’s book and all my views of alcohol was turned up side down, no sorry they was already upside down. Contrary to my perception,You don’t get happy are relaxed from alcohol itself. Alcohol only relieves the withdrawal symptoms from the previous drink, which in turn creates more withdrawal symptoms once it is finished. In this way the drug addiction perpetuates itself. The relief drinkers feel on having a drink of alcohol, is the feeling of being “back to normal”, is the feeling experienced by non-drinkers have all the time. This blew my mind and i must admit i had to read the book 5 times to get it to sink in,but once it did i have had no problems coming off the poison at all, no cravings, no physical withdrawal symptoms, i was happy socializing,and its been great from the start.
Good luck.
Hi Hector,
I hope you’re feeling better. Did your walk help?
By the way, how’s your new bed?
Hi- my name is Angel and I’m having a drink right now. I really want to stop but I feel hopeless. Drinking has caused me to gain weight and in turn effect my possibilities of having children. i know that if I stop drinking now, gain self control, and lose weight my life would be much better, but I feel hopeless. I just feel like I cant commit to this but deep down I really want to. Any advice?
Hi Angel,
you’ve already answered your own question. Yes, you need to make the decision to quit. It might make it easier if you do some research. If you can establish what “level” of drinker you are, you can find plenty of information on what to expect when you do stop. Having this knowledge really does help. After that, there are many people here that will be glad to help.
As they say “Just do it”.
Good luck,
Don
Maybe look in to healthy eating and how to live a healthy lifestyle, such as going to the gym, Yoga, swimming, making a note of calorie intake, going for walks, getting involved in a hobbie etc. If you can get in to that kind of lifestlye then it would be easier to drop drinking, because it would be getting in the way and you can leave it behind easier.
The problem with this is motivation. It helps to have people in your life who can encourage you to take up activities. With the money I have saved on alcohol I have been around Silverstone (F1 Track in a GP type car), I have bought new clothes and have a far better haircut. I’m even starting to groom myself a lot more, using skin care products etc and I’m curring having my teeth whitened. It’s amazing what it does for your confidence. But to get there you need to get off your arse and do something about it!
I take a lot of inspiration from public figures who keep themselves in shape and lead a busy life. I see people on the telly with toned bodies and really want to be more like them. I want my kids to see me as an active, involved Dad that gives them lots of attention, rather than a slob with a beer belly. My daughter points out my beer belly all of the time and the other day she actually asked where it had gone! She is 5 and I have only stopped drinking for 8 weeks! I want to go on holiday and not be too shy to take my top off. I WILL be fit by the summer and I WILL NOT drink any alcohol – it would spoil my new life if I did and I don’t want to go back to that!
Well done you! You sound so determined and have set yourself realistic goals. I enjoyed reading your post.
Elaine
well im 28 and feel i drink 2 much i go through at least 3 litres vodka a week,and i really want 2 stop,but when tried before get such bad anxiety,anyone else get this??
3 litres of Vodka??? You wont be able to take this much for long… man, it’s nearly a bottle a day. Im 33 and at 28 i was able to drink buckets of stuff but before I knew it my heart started failing me..no doubt you have not ruined your body yet so try getting off the stuff… I used to nurse my dad of ill health and know from my own experience that the first two to three days are critical.. try stopping and share your experiences here… you are not alone
and no worries about anxiety.. you will have sick dreams, shakes, anxiety, tremour and all sort of things, feeling of emptiness, will find it difficult to fullfill you idle moments with something usefull… all of us do.. but the good news is that it all goes away with time…
Hi Don,
Slept like a log last night from 8pm till 7am this morning. Got up no problem too. Naw sure about new bed, think you may have me mixed up with someone else. Going home to watch the football and catch up with a bit of housework. Day 10 today and i feel good and long may it continue. Cheers
GPS are you really Allen Carr?? LOL
Nelly !!……don’t get him started!
By the way , good to hear from you. Everything still going well for you?
Its Ok don it was funny.
Don I am very well and thanks for asking. I check this site a few times a week and still get encouragement from reading all the posts.
Hi all i have so much time on my hands now i am off drinking, i think i will have to make a plan for the week. perhaps take swimming up again.Its one thing coming off the poison but its the time after that you have to fill.
The one thing i learnt when reading Allen carr’s book is never rubbish a differant method until you understand it. And to question old beliefs and open ones mind to other ideas, in the case of stopping drinking i had to do just that.
When i learnt that alcohol addiction is a mental problem i had to look at my drinking problem a differant way to previous times. I had to look at old beliefs about alcohols pleasures, relaxing you, relieving stress and making social occasions happier. I looked at it with an open mind and simple logic, and i was quite surprised at the conclusion i came too and when i learnt that the
pleasures/crutch of alcohol was an illusion it just blew my mind away. So the solution to my alcohol problem was entirely mental. Once the illusions goes so does the addiction and its been great ever sinces.
best weshes.
Can you please please please never mention that book again. We seriously ALL get what you’re saying, but it doesn’t become any more interesting if you continually mention it
Glyn, here is a present just for you…
http://allencarr.com/central/images/148.jpg
I posted my 1st post 44 days ago, not really knowing which path to take. slipped on Valentines night and felt bad the next day, had a 4 day funeral in Ireland but adding it all up, by now would have consummed at least 50 bottles of wine over the 44 day period, added it up today and have probably consummed 3 bottles at most, not quite given up completly, but not drinking at home. Alarmed at what I would have drunk and and the cost, but it is only as you sit back and calculate you realise the extent you have drunk, scary, but I now feel in control of my drinking and have made choices when and where I drink, don’t feel I am ready never to drink again but have to test myself to either have control or never to drink again.
Am I deluding myself.
Glyn
You seem much calmer and happier now and I have taken on board your comments in your last posts, respect.
Good luck to all the new posts, be strong and believe in this forum, good people will help you through
xx
Yes i am calmer and happier, I have come off the poison a differant way to you all thats all, so i can only talk about how i did it and it was all mental for me. i have got to remember that the willpower way is your way to come off the poison and i have to respect that. so i hope i have not upset you all, if i have i am sorry.
I will be writing more of my posts (rants)if the admin lets me, so i hope i don’t upset you by my posts again. but i will try to write it from my view and what i have learnt.
Best weshes.
Glyn, “Sharing” your views as you are now doing is really helpful. No hard feelings…Rosie
Hi Linda,
I think your achievement is huge. Your fear is of slipping back to old ways but you already have shown yourself that you have the ability to want to take control. You seem to be changing the way you view alcohol and gaining control. I know cutting down is not the answer for everyone but I think you have done a great job. I wish you ongoing strength to keep that control…
Rosie
Thanks Rosie
Your comments are always welcome and helpful to me.
Had another challenge tonight, some idiot cyclist rode straight into the side of my car, a second earlier he would have been under the front wheel, was very shakey and first thought I had was when I get home I will need a drink, gave myself a good talking to took deep breaths, and resisted the tempation. I would not have done that a good few weeks ago, it would have been just the excuse I needed to have a drink. I am hoping each day I become stonger and resisting temptation.
Welcome to all the newcomers, believe me this site will help.
Roy will look forward to your next tip of the day, perhaps we should all have one.
All the best to everyone.xx
Linda,
when you survive the kind of day you had didn’t give in to temptation you KNOW you have come a long way. It’s like a huge leap forward. I think in the old days of turning to the bottle for any reason (good or bad) we were put off stopping drinking for fear that inevitably something would happen that would not be surviveable without alcohol. Well you had that “something” today and you took control. Enjoy the victory. wow!
Elaine
Rosie
Oh well at least the money I have saved on drink will pay for the dent he he , you have to have a sense of humour in this life eh.
p.s who’s Elaine – seen it twice on your posts now.
x
Hi my name is lynsey and i know i drink too much i am 27 with 3 beautiful children and a husband. I know i need to stop drinking and today is going to be the start for me i hate the way drink makes me feel i cant get up with the kids in the mornings and i find myself waiting for them to go to bed so i can have my 1st drink i dont want to live this way anymore i want to live a normal life. My marriage is effected and i want to change so much i just need some help and guidence really i have family who are in aa and i see the change in them so much and this is what i want. I am going to start today because i always say i will stop on monday just to get the weekend out of the way but monday is never coming for me so i hope you guys can help me along the way
Thanx
Lynsey
Well done Lynsey! I can totally relate to everything you have said and by you making the commitment to change your life for the better, it inspires others like me to stay strong (8 weeks now).
It helps immensely knowing that other people are in a similar situation, and that they are committed to changing their lifestyle too. You will be fitter, richer, more fulfilled and generally happier. I will think of you when I am struggling on the odd occasion (gradually decreasing), to enable me to draw strength.
To start with I tried to fill my time up with as much as possible to keep myself busy, maybe you could take the kids swimming regularly or take up a hobby. I personally haven’t read any books or joined any AA groups, as I don’t want to be labelled in that way and I feel I can figure out for myself the best methods that suit me and my situation. The last thing I need is someone telling me what I should do, but each to their own and you must do what works best for YOU not me or anyone else.
I think the best thing to do is listen to other peoples experiences of how they overcame the cravings etc and how they stay focussed and committed to not drinking, but draw the best bits from all of them that make it easiest for you. Personally I kept myself busy, I work out a lot now and I spend more money on looking after myself and my body. I’m slowly starting to feel good about myself and pay a lot more attention to my kids, which takes me back to my youth. I feel so much younger now!
I actually realised recently that I like to stay out for longer if I go out rather than having to get home for a “nice glass of wine”. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I’d kill for an ice cold beer, but I feel SO much better in the morning having turned it down.
My advice is (simply from my situation) Stay strong, don’t let your head convince you it’s a waste of time because you are in control of your life, there is not some devil sitting on your shoulder, take one day at a time and each time you struggle is a new fresh choice, not a build up of previous no’s.
!
Do you remember the old advert in the 80’s aimed at school kids “Just so no” (to drugs)? Well, just say no to alcohol and just say YES to a new, happier life
Brill advice and your positivity is infectious….Rosie
Welcome aboard Lynsey….there will be many visiting this site who can identify with all you say. Read back the posts. I found following someone’s posts from a few months back helped me when I first visited the site. I was impressed by the short time scale involved before others were saying they felt they were winning their battle. I had my doubtd when I first set out because like you, I had always been going to start on that Monday that never comes….yet here I am over 100 days without booze. I has so many anxieties about what others would think or how would I cope with that longing for the first drink at the end of the day….Lynsey, somehow every tiny thing you face and every morning you wake up sober feeds the detrmination to change the siuation you are in right now. You are in that precious time of motherhood that I wasted completely. I didn’t stop till I was 44. What a waste… but I am making up for lost time and it feels good. I have stopped hating the lie I was living and I feel so “normal”….how boring eh? But it is a feeling money could never buy.
Take care and keep posting/reading… because if I know anything about this website, it is that others care….we’ve all been in the scary place you are now.
Rosie x
Your so doing the right thing Lynsey by joining and posting on this site. I’m on day 18 and was in just the same situation as you, I have 2 young children and my drinking was effecting my marrige and my kids. Its been a tough couple of weeks but by reading posts and keeping busy and positive I’m starting to feel better already. You dont quite realise the effect alcohol has on every aspect of your life until you make the change, go back and read over older posts and you will find so many things you can relate to as I have and still do, young mums like us struggling with the pressures of everyday life finding little or no time for ourselves. Keep reading and keep posting. Good Luck.
Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been absent so long.
Literally work & sleep lately…but you got to do it when the work’s there don’t you?
So what’s going on here then? GPS aka Glyn, I think you were the first person to write back to me when I first posted back in November, and your advice was read Allen Carr’s book – “It’ll get you off the poison”. His book has obviously been a great help for you and indeed something you want others to benefit from.
Which is great, but it’s not the ONLY way.
Personally, I don’t have a problem with people who drink in moderation. For a lot of people it’s just an enjoyable part of life – that’s all.
Then there are people like us, who for whatever reason, don’t stop when we should.
When I first found this site, I’d been in denial for at least a decade. The simple act of beginning a dialog with others on here gave me the encouragement I needed to actually do something about the thing I’d been worrying about for ten years.
It was the friendly, empathetic nature of the responses, yours included, that really really helped me back then. I’m sure if someone had been calling me weak or pooh poohed my withdrawal symptoms I probably wouldn’t have felt the same level of support – and may well have not managed to quit.
It’s now over 3 months dry.
I will be forever grateful for that. And I would like to see that empathy return to the forum so that others will have the same opportunity. So please think about that before you post.
OK then, enough of that. How is everyone? I see Don and Rosie are still posting. How are you guys? Jim – How are the spiders? Nelly still dropping in the one liners? What has happened to James?? Hmmm so many of you I’m wondering how you are doing.
M
Hi Michael A J, good to hear from you. Things are great with me. Five months dry, lost 26 pounds and got my blood pressure down from 145/86 to 112/64.
Been going for various tests to see if I’ve done any permanent damage……so far, so good. Went for a echo cardiogram Monday, get to see the heart specialist this PM for the results (not to worried since I basically feel good).
As you can see, we have some new “posters”, they’re all eager to get dry.
Hopefully they’ll find the support they need here.
talk to you soon,
Don.
Great to hear from you….x
Roy’s top tip of the day to take your mind off things and keep yourself busy….
Go through all your things, garage, loft etc. If you dont NEED it, put it on ebay! Earn yourself some money and treat yourself to:
A Spa Day, a new outfit, a new phone, Ipod etc or start that hobby that you always wanted to do before you became too busy paying drink all of your valuable attention.
You might even find some old photos or things that motivate you even more.
Hi all….:o)
( getting a new Indian some week from now) + my 5 Discus fish and I’m still an addict in recession and I’m approaching that 1 year mark without alcohol soon.
Well, my 6 Tarantulas are doing fine
Though it is hard even now after some time, this things like this one hits me: Oliver Reed, the actor said once,: “Not to drink is boring and who want to be bored?”
What I do is that I look at my medical chart and I look at myself: Ok you did so good so far and now you’re going to ruin it and just send yourself into an early grave?
No, I don’t want that and I also remember my family what they did for me.
I’ve watched some posts in here earlier now, recent, and I don’t like for example; when alcohol is called the “poison” all the time because it sounds like somebody is Promoting a book.No offence.
It always easy to do “politics” ( I know I was the one that put the alcohol in my mouth) of something, but live it is something else.
If I could show you my history here all out you would see as anybody else with a problem.
Well,,thanks again for your consideration guys, ( you know who you are) and I’m hanging in there as well you guys are and can do it.
Jim,,,take care all
“Forgot.”
Like “Michael Apple juice” said; I don’t have a problem at all with people that drink in moderation.
My own dad, 83 years old this year,,a moderat drinker his whole life as well my mom, 78 years old. My other friends and families; moderates.
It’s a part of their normal life,,without problem as many others.
Like somebody said: So for some it is this that they are just “wired” differently and it doesn’t go good with alcohol/moderation for some reason, it goes just bad.
No blueprint, nothing else.
Good morning everyone i just wanted to say a massive thankyou to royboy and rosie for replying to my post yesterday it really means alot to me, woke up this morning feeling really positive was able to get out the bed without feeling hung over which was great got the kids up done there reading and gave them there breakfast and took them off to school all on time which was great !!!
Really took alot from your advice royboy and i appriciate it alot as you i am not one that would go to aa as i feel i am strong enough to do this myself with help from people like yourself and my family but aa does work for alot of people and as you said each to there own. I know its only my 1st day without a drink but i feel so good about changing my life because i feel i have been on this roundabout for so long and i have seen so much damage in my family all through drink . Last year i lost my auntie through drink at only 44 and you would of thought standing and watching someone so close to you take there last breath through drink would make you never touch the stuff again but i believe you have to be ready to change yourself no one can make you do something your not ready to do.
And rosie when you said you only stopped at 44 , it isnt a waste because your children will of seen the better side of you which i believe is great my mum never stopped drinking until she was 44 and she is 4 years dry and me and my siblings have a much better relationship with our mother now than we ever did. This is a massive reason as to why i am putting drink down because i dont want to do to my children what i had done to me they deserve better .
So good luck to everyone and i do believe all the hard work were all putting in at the moment will be worth it , to us and all the people around us take care and i will be back “sober” soon
Thanx again
Lynsey
Xx
HI BELLA JUST WANTED TO SAY THANX FOR YOUR POST ITS GOOD TO KNOW THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING THROUGH THHE SAME THING AS ME , SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR THE ONLY ONE HA HA !!!
YOUR DOING VERY WELL CANT WAIT FOR MY 18TH DAY KEEP IT UP BELLA
THANX LYNSEY
XX
Hi All,
Day 12 today and feeling good even though i hardly slept. Going hill walking tomorrow morning and really looking forward to it. Concentration span is back and ive managed to fininsh a book ive been rading for 3 years, cant wait for tomorrow.
Hector
what a great statement….”cant wait for tomorrow”