Stages of Change in an Alcohol Problem
As you’re reading this website, then you might be thinking that you need to change your habits around alcohol. This means you’re in a stage called ‘contemplation’.
The Stages of Change model is a well established and useful way of considering different people’s levels of motivation to change their behaviour. This is how it applies to alcoholism:
Stage 1: Pre-contemplation -
Someone who drinks alcohol but doesn’t consider that they have a problem with it, or that they need to do anything about it. Other people around them might disagree however. Occasionally they might regret drinking too much, have an accident perhaps, but they still don’t feel their drinking needs to change.
Stage 2: Contemplation -
Possibly where you are now – you might have realised that your drinking is causing more problems than it’s worth, and that you’re probably drinking too much. You’ve noticed your health is suffering, or your closest relationships have been affected. Maybe your work is not up to scratch because you’re always hungover. But then on occasion you switch back to thinking it’s not such a problem after all, and you get drunk again.
Stage 3: Decision -
You realise that you do need to do something about this, so you decide to seek help, or talk to someone professionally, join a support group, maybe check out AA, or start looking online for some possible tips to cut down your drinking.
Stage 4: Action -
You start to reduce your alcohol consumption, you set yourself limits and you achieve them. You start talking about the problems in your life that might be causing your drinking, maybe to a counsellor or another mental health professional. You might well announce your decision to cut down or quit drinking to your partner or family members.
Stage 5: Maintenance or Relapse -
Your new pattern of drinking is becoming a habit, your alcohol consumption is back to acceptable, healthy levels again. Or maybe you haven’t had a drink for a couple of months, and you’re feeling comfortable with your sobriety. You can feel the benefits of not drinking so much – you’re healthier, happier and functioning better.
There is always a possibility that future circumstances might take a turn for the worse, and you end up drinking again. Maybe you go right back to stage 1, or one of the other stages instead. The important thing is to learn from this process, not to blame yourself for it. If you see this set-back as a ‘failure’, then you’ll just feel more depressed about it. You’ve made a mistake and had a relapse, that’s all, but you can get back to where you were again.
If you think you’re ready to take action about your drink problems, contact us to arrange an online live chat with a professional alcohol counsellor.
Just read this site today…all the comments…and realize that I have a problem, not just a hobby. Funny, it took last night…first night in months without alcohol, just because I ran out….to make me start thinking. First step, right? 36 hours so far. With 4 kids, the stakes are high.
2nd night in 20 odd years,good job emerdales on…..
The people that did not drink as much as you at 20 will drink more than you at 40 because your shot. That the “Stages of Change in an Alcohol Problem”
Right i am off to bed and sober by the way. If any one reads this all you have to do is believe in wat you want and not wat alcohol waants from you. One says STOP the other says START. I say just abstain and please do not just pack in. Please do have a chat with your GP or at least email Mr Tobin that’s wat he is there for to help you. Now break a leg
Also if you own a 20 year old keyboard like mine that has had 10 gallon of booze spilled over it in the past get a new one. Sticky keys drive me nuts
Been in the do I……. stop/cut back/control my drinking phase for a few weeks…still trying to figure this out.
The reasons I am stopping drinking a bottle of wine each night
I wont fall asleep while im reading my children their bedtime stories, I wont fall asleep before I have a shower at night, I will cook better dinners, I will be able to have better conversations with my partner at night, I will be able to remember talking to friends on the phone, I will be able to drive at night, I wont have to try remember where i have hidden bottles around the house, the house will be cleaner I will be a better mother and person…the list goes on and on… I will beat this nasty addiction and am so grateful I have found this site.
all so true!
I feel the same way.. I want to beat this devil!
I,m at stage 5, AGAIN!
I say again because I’ve been here before, to many times to count.
I am a serious binge drinker. I can go on a bender for days sometime weeks. the only way I stop is when I can get anymore or Ive made my self ill I cant stomache it anymore. I have a pattern. I binge, go through horrific withdrawls, start to feel better and then feel great, then boom! here I go again! I think what happens is I tell my self I,m totally fine, no problem here, I can handle it, then I’ll go and have a bottle of wine to prove to myself that this time I really am fine. HA! Sometimes I am and thats it but more often than not that’s the start of a major blow out. The last one ended 2 weeks ago. I pushed everything to the limit, relationships, finances, health. I’ve had liver function tests done. Showed up I have some liver damage, no surprise there!
At the moment I feel really good, I’m sleeping better, confidence coming back, I’m not all panicky and anxious and I’m making my loved ones happy. But I am very scared. I’m scared that I’ll fall back into the old pattern and this time do so much damage, health and relationships, that it cant be repaired.
I’m not tempted at the moment at all and hopefully this health scare will have sorted me out once and for all. I have so much to live for. So glad I found this site.
Hi Laura, It was helpful reading about your experiences. I also have a pattern of drinking socially upto 2 glasses of wine for weeks and some days none but after a bad argument with my ex I just bought a bottle of vodka and drank the lot. I phoned a friend and can’t even remember what I said to him and woke up feeling very dehydrated with sore red eyes. Like you when I am in an up mood I forget how very bad the next day is. I also worry about what I am doing to my body. Ironically I take a lot of healthy supplements as am a semi vegetarian. I also do exercise every morning.
Well done for the times you cope without and thanks for writing so honestly.
Laura I know how you feel; we as alcoholics tend to convince our minds that we can have JUST ONE. However deep down we know thats not the case. Thats the horrible illness of alcoholism but its how we cope remember that and enjoy your life alcohol free
I have just found this site (or maybe I have seen it before and thought, in denial “Its not for me cos I’m not an alcoholic”). However, I now realise that I do have a serious drink problem and have tried to give up on several occassions. I’ve been in A&E, I’ve been ill, I’ve had Librium, but I always end up going back to it. I am going through a very tough divorce right now and have been using that as an excuse to drink. But in reality, it was probably drink and some of the othe underlying causes which contributed to the divorce. I’ve just drank a bottle of wine having promised myself it would just be a glass to take away yesterday’s hangover. Drinking that much used to mean that I couldn’t even type. But now it means I’m more lucid and faster. That’s a real danger. Its just that the bitterness and violence of my ex-husband stays with me and he has complete control right now. I find it hard to think of a life without this disgusting emotional prop! But I know it has to stop. He has always told me that I have bipolar disorder (because he used to go out with a girl who had it, and despite having no qualification himself, he told me h knew best!). I began to doubt my mental health but I’ve never accepted it. But if there is anyone out there who has realised that their excessive drinking has been resolved through Lithium, please let me know. I’ll try anything right now. Jo x (BTW it seems like such a nice bunch of people contribute to this site !)
Hi Jo
I can totally sympathise with you (im sure we all can). Ive been the same. During the course of the last few years my drinking has escalated to the most unreal levels. My liver physically is hurting at the moment. Its a viscious circle. You drink because of the stress. The drink causes depression, low self esteem – so you drink more to feel better as you are ashamed. You then realise that you are dependent upon alcohol as a prop – also are scared to stop because you totally feel so ill when you are not doing it. I feel physically sick (and have vomited) when I dont drink enough. Especially during the last few days. I was sick on Saturday and this morning. I proceeded to drink two bottles of wine before a birthday party (and then couldnt remember anything). If there was a drug that was invented that took this away from your system for good – how fab would that be. Ive seen what happens with the DT’s and I am thoroughly scared of it. My former partner was an alcoholic. He committed suicide 8 years ago as he was very depressed. I am also very scared of this happening to me. It sounds like you are better off without your husband. He sounds like he has taken your confidence away. Please know that you are not alone – I feel the same. Perhaps we can try between us to give it up for good?
Alfiexx
I sympathize with each of you. I started binge drinking when I was young and wish I could take it all back. So many missed opportunities and bad relationships! Now it seems I’m the problem. I have started to be violent when I drink too too much. I recently left scratches on my boyfriend because we were arguing about what I don’t remember and he wouldn’t leave the bedroom and let me sleep sp for some reason I felt violence was the answer. SO not like me! I have volunteered at domestic violence shelters and pride myself on never being in a fistfight, etc. I know I have a problem but I don’t know where to begin….
I can sympathise with everyone on here i stop for 4-5 weeks at a time then go on 2 week benders or sometimes less I have had like 8 seizures in last 3 years had three on the trot which nearly killed me and I broke multiple bones. I have been charged with hitting emergency service workers I have been in so many fights ruined an amazing relationship with the perfect girl and now I want out. I don’t need this crap anymore. i’m 28 I need to grow the f*** up. I am in alot of debt. I am lucky when I stop drinking I am an extremely healthy eater and exercise twice a day. I have just been diagnosed with bipolar so I can sympathise with Jo if you have it see a psychiatrist and get on medication I only drink when I am on my “manic” stage. I feel great only been off it for 2 and a half weeks but this year has made me realise its not worth it or I won’t see 30.
STAY STRONG EVERYONE!!!! MUCH LOVE!!!!
Just want to say I was sober for 6 years and a year ago felt that I could maange my drinking responsibly, so I started again. It is not easy feeling left out in social situations (being the non drinker) and I understand the dependance on alcohol as a personality booster. My first 12 months was very difficult but I had a very supportive partner who allowed me the time to relax ( an hour in the bath with a book or candles every night to get me past my cravings), and it worked. What did let me down was my jealousy of all things. I began to get jealous of women talking to my husband at parties, seeing him with someone else who could drink when I couldn’t, I then started to crave red wine, it was winter, almost by 43rd birthday so I said hey, I’d like a glass of wine with dinner tonight and my husband said okay.
12 months later and I am repeating behaviours that will only lead to the ruin of my family, my marriage and my life. If I lose it all I know I won’t cope, I will hate myself so much that I won’t want to live which is why I am stopping for good. 3 days sober and just enrolled in a Yoga class at the nicest centre I could find, with ponds and timber everywhere, because I need to fell good about myself again. I look forward to sharing more with everyone here on the site. I wish you all of the very best and I guess I know that this path of being sober lead me to the happiest times in my life once before, and I know that staying sober will lead us all to happiness, into the light! with love, K
Hi to all
I am still debating if I’m an alcoholic or not. My father thinks I am as he himself is one. My partner doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic nor does anyone else in my family. They all say I’m a binge drinker. I typically drink 1-2 per week and drink between 8-12 pints. I would get drunk nearly every time I go out as drinking for me is all about getting drunk and enjoying myself. Often I get extremely drunk and listen to depressing music and cry. The next day usually depends on how I’m feeling. I’ll either go back to the pub or I’ll stay in. I always get a monster hangover though like today. I tend to feel guilty with a hangover. I didnt feel like drinking today and I can’t say I get a craving for alcohol regularly. Once or twice per week I’ll get a craving to go to the pub but that’s it. I never drink at home even though there is always a stock of booze for specials occasions etc. I suppose it concerns me that my dad believes I’m an alcoholic yet Im not convinced myself. I’m not in denial and am more than ready to take responsibility if I am an alcoholic but I’m not going to be branded an alcoholic if I’m not sure I am one! In believe I could become an alcoholic if I don’t reduce my intake.
Hi all.. what a great website, thanks…just wanted to share this with you..see if it fits with anyone. and how to combat it!!
I am a mother of two, ive been drinking one bottle of wine everyother night for the last five years..But recently this changed..it slowly upped, one bottle of wine left me craving more, and off id go (sometimes driving in the night) to get more, id have a bottle and a half (often without eating) and then that upped to almost two when id feel ready to pass out, stagger off to bed and be unable to get up and do my kids breakfast in morning. Off they went to school without me. id feel so rough i would not drink again for a day but then the next day id feel better and at the end of day reward myself with a bottle of wine, (now thats got to two) have a day/night off and repeat this pattern..I’d drink because i was bored and lonely, sometimes to forger the hurt or sadness i feel about the past i can not change or frustrations i feel at the things that aren’t working well in my life..(largely to do with lack of motivation which drink has robbed me of) Recently i decided i wanted to stop this life robbing destructive crap pattern..so went 3days without a drink!!! But by third day i was desperate..had awful headache, dehydration and unable to eat anything…i guess this was my withdrawal..in the end i manipulated an argument with my partner.. and used his lack of understanding and support as an excuse to get drunk!! Which is why im not at work today, having treated my partner like shit feeling guilty (another trigger) sitting here writing this from bed.. alcohol is a trickster and a controller, it makes you think its helping you, when its robbing you.. depriving my kids of a decent mum, my partner of a decent friend and with it taking my looks, intelligence and happiness. I thought i was a nice ordinary woman that could have a few glasses of wine in the eve and tuck my kids into bed and go about my life happily the next day..thats how all this started!!!!
Hi everyone, fantastic to know we are not alone isnt it?? April i have been trying unsuccessfuly to stop for 3 years now.. got it down to one binge every 10 days or so, but my life is so much more better when i stay sober, i can drive any time, i am availabel if there is an emergency, i feel better, everything i do is better, when i am drug im an inactive, self possessed slob.. hope this helps!
I’ve had 3 DUI’s in 7 years. I worked in a bar for 13 yrs where my job was all about drinking. It started out with just a few drinks a day. Then it got to be more and more, every day….till gradually I was starting out the day at 11 AM with Gin and Tonic. Everyone at work was drinking, so I didn’t think I was odd. I had problems because of my drinking. I’d get into arguments with customers, fights with co-workers, disagreements with my managers and bosses, then it got to the point where they would fire me. I was simply too difficult to deal with. Finally, my husband and I divorced after 10 years. New job, new town, new boyfriend. I sobered up for a little while, then fell harder than ever.I’ve had several car accidents while drunk driving, and thank God I didn’t harm anyone! The fights got seriously violent with my mate,till the cops were called several times, and the problems just came crashing down on me. It was progressing to the point where I’d try to hide how much I was drinking from everyone. After work I’d head to the bar, before work I’d go to another bar, it almost killed me.The evidence was blatant.I’ve been sober over 2 yrs and 7 months now, and tonight I was going to have a few. Even though it never was just a few ever before. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, you just talked me out of a very big mistake. I am Brianna, and I’m without a doubt, an alcoholic. God Bless you!
Hi
So pleased I found this website and feeling part of this group and admitting my problem without the stigma of going to AA.
My drinking has got progressively worse but recently I’ve had black outs, arguments that i have no memory of and this is really scaring me. I couldn’t understand why as my intake had been fairly light but theses incidences were always on an empty stomach and this site explains the chemical result and the low blood sugar =cravings.
There was a family party at the weekend and I was so nervous about going and couldn’t eat anything beforehand. I should have known better but I had 3 glasses of wine quickly but don’t remember anything after the first hour except crying. My daughter described me as a paranoid schizophrenic
Sorry this posted before I had finished.
My eldest daughter said I was a real jekkyl and Hyde and not her fun loving happy tiddly drunk mum that she knew. She said I was consumed with paranoia and rage against her and my poor husband. I have no memory of this at all but the shame I feel is excruciating that even as I write this I am horrified.
There had been a few episodes in the past few months with my teenage daughter but I had blamed her attitude for my rage or as she said it was like a light switch changed me into a monster.
My question is…. Have I crossed the line now or can I control my drinking by ensuring I never drink on an empty stomach as this seems to be the trigger or am I just trying to justify my actions??
I happen to stumble upon this website trying to get more information for my psychology assignment. Everyone of you deserves a medal for taking this big step and admitting that you have a problem. That’s a huge step! That you are all contemplating change, that’s a good start. Nerver give up on your journey to sobriety, nothing comes easy. Life is nerver meant to be easy there will be ups and downs. It takes determination to win. Anyways, wish everyone of you the very best hope you all come out winners and yes you do come out stronger in the end. God Bless you all.
Hi everyone. I have been something of an alcoholic for years, and I have been working on it for the past couple. Just found this site, so I am happy to have someone to share this with as my wife is leaving me forever, because, really, of who I become after a few drinks. Man, am I an asshole for not getting control of this, but I am going to. I cannot continue to consume alcohol and destroy my relationships.
hi everyone im so happy i found this website and reading all your storys and know im not alone.I have got a problem a big one.Drink is destroying me life iv 2 young kids and need to find the willpower to give up for them and my boyfriend or i will loose them all! has anyone got advice?
also break associations.. i used to think drinking meant fun and happiness..as when we are young it probably is, but now in fact sitting at home miserable with a bottle of wine isnt fun!