Are you drinking to cope with boredom?

boredom causes alcoholismMany people with an alcohol problem are drinking as a way of dealing with boredom. They’ve got nothing exciting or interesting to do, so they drink instead, and that keeps them entertained.

Watching TV for hours is boring and uninspiring, but if you have a drink then it becomes more tolerable.

So, is your life too dull? If you weren’t drinking so much, what would you be doing with your spare time instead?

If you have difficulty answering that question, then here’s the first problem you need to solve before you can move forward.

116 Comments

  1. Chris 10 January, 2018 at 10:47 pm - Reply

    I come home to an empty house, nothing in my life and I’m emotionally numb. Drinking is all I talk about, it’s what I look forward to when I get home. I don’t drink soda, tea just beer, coffee and water. I’m heading vastly down the road of alcholosism and I flirt with her more often then I care to admit. I went a week sober due to illness last year and for the last 3 years only went sober 3 weeks total. What’s the cure for happiness or how to find it?

  2. Anonymous 10 January, 2018 at 12:43 am - Reply

    Im alone and i drink alot but work hard too. I cant answer the question what would i do if i wasnt. Just not sure if im an alcoholic so need advice

    • Tobin Hunt 10 January, 2018 at 8:41 am - Reply

      Many people want an answer to that question, but the truth is that there’s a spectrum of problems with alcohol, with many points along the way from having no problem at all, to having occasional mild problems, to regular mild problems, to regular serious problems, then being diagnosed as an alcoholic. In short, you might benefit from making changes, even if you’re not at the extreme end of the scale.

  3. Blake Williams 29 November, 2017 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    I am a 50 year old male, straight, have a graduate degree and professional license, have money but don’t work right now, have been told by both men and women, “You are a ‘sweet, quite good looking guy, smart, funny and witty, respectful, interesting” blah blah blah… I left the workforce in 2010 to care for my parents in declining health. I loved them with a ferocity few people seem to understand. Despite my belief that if I just worked harder, thought smarter, and devoted literally 24 hours a day running dad’s company, doing ALL shopping, cooking, cleaning, to caring for ALL of their ADL’s (both were in hospital beds in home hospice X 3 years until I had to place them together in the same room at a”high end” facility) and my numerous intense WARS with MD’s, treatment teams, hospital staff, and ER docs…they both died anyway 33 days from each other—they never left each other’s side X 54 years. I was executor of both their estates and my brother (who never came home once/lifted a finger to help me) whom I never had ANY conflict with since I was 10 went crazy on me over money/inheritance despite my absolute transparency and ensuring he got 1/2 the value of the estates. He became so abusive and awful I had to terminate my relationship with him 1 year ago.

    I never thought I would be utterly and completely alone living with my cat in Midtown, Houston, Tx at 50. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO REPETITIVELY START DRINKING DAILY AT 3-4pm AND KEEP DOING SO DESPITE HORRIBLE HANGOVERS AND CLOSING THE BARS NIGHTLY! However, I am so lonely, isolated, and broken that I CAN NOT STAY HOME alone anymore. I used to have lots of friends but I can’t seem to motivate ANYONE to come over, go do something healthy, hang out with me, much less talk to me!

    I now have an idea what it feels like to be a Lepper.

    So I drink until I “feel up to getting out” so I can go drink more (a lot!) and at least be around others despite rarely talking to anyone. I think I am killing myself…slowly.

    It’s the loss and trauma I experienced (the last 2 years of my parent’s lives were BAD for me as I watched them die helplessly) and repeated failure to help them that contributes to my loneliness. This will come off narcissistic but: I AM THE LONELIEST PERSON ON PLANET EARTH. I can’t break the DAILY drinking pattern that starts at home alone playing with my cat starting around 4pm then escalates at pool halls, bars, anywhere that serves alcohol and has games to play like shuffle board, darts, bean bag toss, etc because I just want to meet SOMEONE I can have relaxed conversation with but no one ever wants to play with me (Christ I feel like a child saying this). I have not engaged in quality conversation with a sane, reasonably intelligent, non A-Hole/jerk NEAR MY AGE in years!!

    I don’t have ANYONE to talk to or spend time with EVER. So I drink. Even my cat seems anxious and clings to me when I start drinking around 4pm (what I call my “restless hour”) and doesn’t want me to leave. I feel like such a whining baby saying all this!! Why can’t I just “do what I need to do to get this reversed/man up and stop drinking/get support or help/join something that will help me meet people?” Because I CAN’T do it.

    No melodrama here but I can’t do this much longer. What is there to live for? My family is gone. My old friends are gone/living their own lives. I am broken. If something serious happened to me who’s going to help me? Who’s going to love me? No one… I am a good person. A nice person. I have a lot to offer…heard all that a million times but I can’t “convert” that into action steps that will actually help reduce my loneliness and alcohol abuse.

    Most days I feel like, “It’s already over” so why fight?

    Can anyone relate? It’s 2pm and I am not cleaned up or even out of bed. Why try? I have no one I can visit, talk to (without having to pay for it…psychology/counseling), or do anything with and see no evidence that anything will change in the future.

    Sorry for whining and thanks for reading this. Suggestions requested.

    Blake

    • M 11 December, 2017 at 6:41 am - Reply

      Hiya Blake,

      I am in bed at the moment and it is 6.30 UK time contemplating heading out to work in heavy snow. I was rummaging around the net trying to self educate my self about the situation I find my self in.

      I too cared for my step dad and mum for past 3 years and lost my step dad a year ago. I still care daily for my mum. What gets me about your story is I find my self starting to drink at the same time of day out of boredom although I have friends a career and a son .. Just go into my own world and have been doing this for quite some time just wasting my life I know I am .

      I haven’t got a solution or suggestion for you I am writing to say. You are not alone and that you are intelligent enough to realise that what you are doing experiencing is born out of stress and bereavement ..

      I felt compelled to write to you and now late for work Blake. You have to talk to somebody and at least try to get help I sense you are a beautiful person for all that you done in caring for your parents .

      Big HUG sent from the UK

      Luv

      Mx

    • Melissa 23 December, 2017 at 5:01 am - Reply

      Hi Blake,
      It’s been nearly a month since your post so I hope you’re feeling better. I am truly sorry for the loss of your parents. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you since their passings were so close together. I know how hard it is to feel alone in the world. I feel the same way. I’m between jobs now (worked for a pharma company for 20 years, left for a different position which was not a good fit and am living on my savings until I find my calling). Please don’t give up. You will find friends and a soulmate. I feel as if you’re a good person having taken care of your parents. You are worthy of much love!

    • DewBlanco 28 December, 2017 at 1:11 am - Reply

      Blake,
      Im 48…relate totally!! You’re not alone in this crappy darkness.
      Can talk offline more. DEWBLANCO@GMAIL.COM

    • Helen Taylor 13 January, 2018 at 7:04 pm - Reply

      Blake,
      I think you are in need of some motivation. When I need motivation I sometimes say a prayer and sometimes this works for me. Just to get up, to go for that walk, to do the next thing, to place “one foot in front of the other”, to keep going.

  4. Wileycoyote 2 November, 2017 at 8:14 pm - Reply

    Life is boring and pointless. At least alcohol gives it some spark.

    • Anonymouslolol 26 November, 2017 at 12:37 pm - Reply

      Yes I agreeeeee

  5. Anonymous 26 October, 2017 at 3:39 pm - Reply

    I got fired from a great job for no good reason! It’s been a month and just waiting to start my new job!
    I’m so bored and have no desire to even clean! My routine is having wine to take the edge off my anxiety and boredom

  6. Marissa 20 October, 2017 at 12:01 pm - Reply

    Yes and yes. It’s a good thing to be bored with alcohol, I think.

  7. Anonymous 21 September, 2017 at 7:01 pm - Reply

    I can totally relate!

  8. Anonymous 18 June, 2017 at 3:18 pm - Reply

    Where are you two?…. I feel the same… Maybe we could form a ‘bored friends club’ ?

  9. Anonymous 10 May, 2017 at 10:15 am - Reply

    boredom is why I binge drink after a boring week I look for ward to a drink and forget about my boring life. I have no friends I am 48 nothing outside interest me at all. had relationships i am bored and lonely

    • Anonymous 16 June, 2017 at 1:14 pm - Reply

      I feel the same way!

    • Melvyn 7 November, 2017 at 5:27 pm - Reply

      Ditto!

    • Anonymous 10 November, 2017 at 12:27 am - Reply

      47 — same here. Hugs <3

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