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by mkj
25 Dec 2018 09:42
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

Tad ,...what would you be missing out on compared to the gains by not drinking ? Its a just another day in the year, society has its beliefs , society is not always right.
Enjoy your Christmas.
by mkj
19 Dec 2018 20:22
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Some great reading. My children were young too whilst I was at the height of my drinking, did it affect them ? yes it did. Admittedly I was a single parent, but regardless of that its not really up to one parent to take up the slack for another. I am pushing 20 years sober and still feel guilt ,but ...
by mkj
09 Dec 2018 16:34
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

TC, We lose a lot of years of personal development to drinking, add that to the baggage we accumulate from drinking , and for a lot of us a toxic upbringing its no wonder we have to take a good look at ourselves. Most drinkers have cultured a false self down the years,quite often from childhood, jus...
by mkj
07 Dec 2018 20:55
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with when not drinking is live with self , it was for me? I guess realistically that is who we are running away from when we mask it with drink. It does take a long time to turn the thinking around, being honest with ourselves, not only on our good points , ...
by mkj
05 Dec 2018 04:23
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

" The first one is the worst one" , as they say . In reality we are only one drink away from abstinence, the flip side of that is most of us are only one drink away from the next party or the gutter, as ive said before there will be one in every graveyard that's tried to prove that wrong. The point ...
by mkj
04 Dec 2018 12:04
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Mkj :\: nice to see you, I don't think anyone can erase things from their past in reality but we can learn to live with them as best we can and most certainly learn not to keep on throwing more damage in the mix ie. alcohol.... PP, what I found in my own case was it was the things I didn't remember...
by mkj
30 Nov 2018 12:47
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

There may be varying degrees of acceptance but I don't see 'struggling or not wanting to quit' as denial. Addiction is complex Whilst in therapy I was told on numerous occasions to go with the process, not knowing what the process was at the time, I can see now that I was guided through it. If you ...
by mkj
07 Nov 2018 23:45
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I never was what could be considered a normal social drinker, although I didn't know it at the time, because to me my drinking was normal..and there lay the problem. I had always used alcohol as a tool ,and it was in the region of 20 odd years before it manifested into a physical and mental addictio...
by mkj
28 Oct 2018 18:57
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I would guess for a lot of us our past was a major player in leading us to drinking, it certainly was for me. Even in my teens I was using alcohol in an unhealthy way,and my social drinking was anything but really. It was put to me many years ago that you can lock a man away from alcohol, but unless...
by mkj
28 Oct 2018 08:20
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Tai, There is always a lot of insight and thought goes into your posts, they are a pleasure to read.I am just generalising after reading recent posts as its something I find interesting . Most drinkers at some level have adopted the role of a victim. The problem I have with the theory of alcohol rec...
by mkj
27 Oct 2018 22:45
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi, Faith,.sorry to read of your tough times, sadly it happens. It has always been an interesting thread,and after reading recent posts i decided i would add my thoughts. It was helpful for me to see my alcohol problem as a symptom of something else, it was also helpful for me to see recovery as a p...
by mkj
30 Sep 2018 11:26
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi , Its been a while , however.... Just been reading recent posts and I always think its worth remembering sobriety is something we own. It is the flip side of owning an addiction, we have earned it and it is ours. In my years of sobriety I have not yet come across anyone or thing that have been wo...
by mkj
18 Mar 2018 16:46
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi, I have always been a firm believer that an alcohol problem is a symptom of something else. Perhaps one of the hardest things to get a grasp on is that it is a person that is flawed , it certainly was for me, but yet how could I be? When my problem escalated I had got through thirty odd years of ...
by mkj
04 Mar 2018 19:11
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

Tad, You have time off to look forward to, if you choose not to drink you will survive. One of the most satisfying things for me in beating this was reaching a point where I could look alcohol in the eye and know it wasn't going to take me down again, there was far more enjoyment in that than drinki...
by mkj
04 Mar 2018 17:58
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

[quote="Tadpole"] And then suddenly it felt a bit scarey as I also thought of wine. It’s a natural association. Its also an association that can be broken. I would question whether it is a natural association or one that you have created. Buying drink is an action, pouring drink is an action, as is ...
by mkj
04 Mar 2018 07:16
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

It’s something I really need to try mkj. I do everything , and I mean everything so differently when not drinking. These days when I do drink I hardly bother to get dressed as I’m not working. It’s so weird that i can’t seem to get The connection that alcohol actually doesn’t bring any joy after th...
by mkj
03 Mar 2018 22:51
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

[quote="Tadpole"]

. I’ve said this before but I honestly feel that I’ve forgotten how to enjoy myself without alcohol,

So you enjoy drinking, or enjoy where alcohol takes you but don't enjoy the fallout ? Is it not possible to do the same things without drink and enjoy them ?
by mkj
02 Mar 2018 20:49
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32219
Views: 1068107

Re: Regrouping

Hi, Tad, What aiways strikes me about your distractions is that you do things so that you don't drink. In a real world I am not sure how sustainable that is, and in a way it is still giving alcohol the power. How would it work if you turned it around and told yourself you are not drinking so that yo...
by mkj
07 Jan 2018 05:57
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi,
Perhaps its worth considering there are reasons why someone stops drinking, and they are the very reasons to stay stopped.
You all take care.
by mkj
27 Nov 2017 18:40
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11257
Views: 674443

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Nicky, Its a pleasure. Life throws crap at some of us until it becomes the norm, its all we know. I have met people that have told me horror stories of their past and considered it normal,..as a child we have nothing to compare it with so it stands to reason. Its adulthood that causes problems, beca...