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by Tai
06 Oct 2019 07:03
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I actually find it, although difficult at first as it's so painful, very therapeutic. I don't want to dwell on it too long, but I think it is good to think back sometimes. I don't want to ever forget the bad times as that may release the "go on/one won't hurt" demons again. I do think we need to re...
by Tai
04 Oct 2019 08:27
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Trying to hold onto something for all of the reasons/excuses we can give and we have all done that no doubt at one point is simply another form of being unable to get a handle on our addiction to alcohol. If you do not feed the fire and look after your thoughts and actions, its one less thing in li...
by Tai
03 Oct 2019 09:04
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32041
Views: 1044074

Re: Regrouping

Hiya J4 <:)> don’t mind in the least. Hard lesson that one.
by Tai
03 Oct 2019 08:41
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: Regrouping
Replies: 32041
Views: 1044074

Re: Regrouping

You’re in good company here Cowboy <:)> this is exactly the thread that I came to in order to regroup. And it helped me more than I can ever put into words. If I started counting the number of problem drinkers / alcoholics in my family I’d be here til Sunday. And I don’t know if it’s a disease ... a...
by Tai
02 Oct 2019 06:53
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: KEEPING IN TOUCH ON THE FORUM
Replies: 4892
Views: 337005

Re: KEEPING IN TOUCH ON THE FORUM

Fuzzy <:)> <:)> how lovely to see you here again. Six years eh? Phenomenal that is, absolutely phenomenal, well done you. Big squooshy hugs to you my lovely <:)> xx Jos
by Tai
30 Sep 2019 12:27
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

SB <:)> grieving is hard, I’m sorry you are having to go through it. I’m glad you’re going to stay with a friend for a while, I hope it helps. Well done for posting about where your head has been just recently. Drinking thoughts are disconcerting but not so surprising when we’re hurting. The wish to...
by Tai
30 Sep 2019 06:37
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: NOTICE BOARD
Replies: 5226
Views: 327530

Re: NOTICE BOARD

Oh happy happy birthday Nicky \:)/ <:)> I hope you have a fabulous day.
by Tai
30 Sep 2019 06:35
Forum: Relationships
Topic: When loved ones drink and you don't
Replies: 486
Views: 56702

Re: When loved ones drink and you don't

I’m glad you felt able to post Douglas, and I so relate to much of what you’ve written here. My OH is a heavy drinker and like yours he thinks it’s fine because it’s limited to evenings ... except on weekends when we’re with friends in which case it starts earlier. My OHs drinking was one of the “bi...
by Tai
29 Sep 2019 18:21
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Relapse feels crap because it is crap, both physically and mentally. My goodness that is so spot on. It feels terrible ... and by focussing on how awful it feels we stay stuck in that place of self recrimination. How could we be so foolish we ask ourselves ... how could we not have learnt even now ...
by Tai
28 Sep 2019 06:37
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

You know, you should be right proud of starting the weekend sober Julian. It might seem odd ... these congratulations and well dones, but as drinkers we tend to spend a hell of a lot of time giving ourselves a hard time ... it’s hard to turn that around but in all truth every sober day is a triumph,...
by Tai
27 Sep 2019 10:52
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Good to meet you Julian and well done on getting sober, these first few days and weeks are definitely the hardest and we all get that so never feel like you aren't going to be heard and understood here <:)> . I found it hard to be around people drinking at first. Like you I had pretty much got to th...
by Tai
24 Sep 2019 06:11
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Morning Roadies <:)> I meant to say also yesterday how courageous it was of you to talk about your drinking history and recovery to that lady Nicky. I’m sure it helped her to hear your story. It’s moving to see and understand that those around us mostly just want us to be well, and are often more th...
by Tai
23 Sep 2019 06:50
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

As the child of a violent alcoholic I remember all too well what those near a drinker experience ... at least from a childs perspective. One of the things I’ve struggled with in recovery is my OHs insistence that I really wasn’t “that bad”. It took me years to understand that he, as a heavy drinker,...
by Tai
21 Sep 2019 07:39
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: How to say no to a drink
Replies: 274
Views: 35632

Re: How to say no to a drink

Lovely to read your post Nicky and so much of what you wrote resonates with me, especially that sneaky reversion from mocktails to the “real thing”, done that myself and thought I was so smart and at the same time just so ashamed and guilt ridden which robbed me of all the pleasure I thought I’d get...
by Tai
21 Sep 2019 07:32
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Morning Roadies <:)> up and at ‘em early today Pink <:)> hope you enjoy your day with your gal, sounds absolutely lovely. I’m definitely getting the positive vibes from your post buddy, long may it continue. Like Pink says, I don’t think you come across as particularly serious Leslans but let’s face...
by Tai
20 Sep 2019 07:38
Forum: Physical and Mental Health
Topic: Grief and Loss
Replies: 976
Views: 58381

Re: Grief and Loss

I found this thread invaluable during my mums last few months. TS <:)> my thoughts are very much with you at this difficult time. I remember constantly feeling like I was doing this all wrong ... difficult relationship with my mum and no time to deal / process my own feelings within the timescales o...
by Tai
20 Sep 2019 07:29
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

An alcoholic can turn anything round to protect themselves can’t they. Some things are so starkly true aren’t they? I read all of your wonderful post Leslans and was just so interested to read your story and see you reflecting on how you’ve got to where you are ... and the many lessons learnt along...
by Tai
20 Sep 2019 07:05
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: NOTICE BOARD
Replies: 5226
Views: 327530

Re: NOTICE BOARD

You’d think that a thread called Notice Board would catch my eye from time to time but I seemed to have not noticed (see what I did there? (w) ) it for ages, and thus not congratulated our many members gaining and surpassing long term sobriety goals. It’s inspirational for me to see the weeks turn i...
by Tai
16 Sep 2019 18:10
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

So sorry to read about your friend Sally, it’s terribly painful to lose someone close, and especially shocking when things were starting to look up. Sounds like you’ve been an amazing friend to this man. I hope you’re doing OK <:)>
by Tai
16 Sep 2019 08:17
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660490

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

the more I came to realise that being addicted to something that I believed had possibly 'fixed' a feeling or an event, an emotion etc etc, the more I realised just how much our brains and reflexes can be conditioned by this drug. This nails it for me. Once I came to understand that a large proport...