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by Tai
14 Sep 2019 06:29
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Julie/Hamster/Byron used to post about “plodding days”. Days when we’re feeling low are difficult and especially in the early part of sobriety ... for me at least it felt like a kind of betrayal ... here I was staying sober, doing the right thing, surely I should (and deserve to) feel good? Julie re...
by Tai
11 Sep 2019 06:15
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

It’s lovely to see you Lushie <:)> . I know what you mean about feeling disconnected, I’ve felt that way too. It’s odd isn’t it? We look in here and even though we say we’re all in the same boat sometimes it feels like we’re paddling on our own. And to a degree that’s true isn’t it? No one can walk ...
by Tai
09 Sep 2019 06:50
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Marvellous posts to read and digest as always. Just reading back and saw your post Luna <:)> I hope you went with the crackers and bike ride option. Getting traction after a relapse is tough, the mind is very drink centred for quite a while and for me at least the fact that the sky didn’t fall in wh...
by Tai
06 Sep 2019 08:20
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi Dilly <:)> I think keeping a notebook of motivation is a great idea. I remember being struck by a similar idea put forward by Lesley (long time member who we rarely see these days). Lesley kept a little book of reasons not to drink / reasons to stay sober. I did the same thing and racked up hundr...
by Tai
05 Sep 2019 08:03
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

So agree Cowboy, the way we talk to ourselves and the way we shepherd our thoughts are key components to wellbeing. I remember someone telling me once that alcoholism is a massive exercise in running away from self, so it makes sense that recovery is a process of rediscovering self in a meaningful w...
by Tai
02 Sep 2019 10:22
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Hi Lycia102 I certainly recognise the dreaming thing. I found in my first weeks and months sober that my sleep was dream filled. I think maybe it was more that I remembered my dreams more readily than during my drinking history but I’m not sure. I slept better for the most part but that took a while...
by Tai
02 Sep 2019 10:13
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Some fantastic posts here on my fave thread. Pink you are storming it buddy and I couldn’t be more pleased to see you making tremendous progress. We came to BE because we knew we needed help with our drinking and no mistake. This wasn’t curiosity on our parts was it? Things had gotten out of hand .....
by Tai
01 Sep 2019 15:52
Forum: Sobriety Challenges
Topic: The 1 Year Milestone
Replies: 9470
Views: 374449

Re: The 1 Year Milestone

So chuffed to see you reach this milestone Cowboy <:)> every step has involved work and now look ... a whole year has passed, 365 days of making the right choice when it comes to drinking. Well done you. I hope you will carry on in the same vein for many years to come, and reap a happier life as a r...
by Tai
22 Aug 2019 06:30
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

We may never quite get over the fact that being a non drinker makes us different ... we stand out from the crowd at times and we can feel somewhat marginalised as a result. I for one live in a country where excessive drinking has been normalised for many years now ... not just amongst the young but ...
by Tai
21 Aug 2019 06:51
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I do think the run up to and the period just after a milestone is tricky to negotiate. Maybe it’s because we believe that we should be thinking or feeling a certain way, or should be past certain types of behaviour or thinking by now ... expectations that don’t gel with our reality can make us feel ...
by Tai
18 Aug 2019 12:50
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Someone told me a while ago that time sober doesn’t qualify us to drink safely ... it qualifies us to stay sober for even longer, and that’s all. I think with addiction there will always be a part of us that wonders if the broken off-switch can be mended ... if all it needs is time ... or practise ....
by Tai
18 Aug 2019 07:45
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I know exactly those thoughts Cowboy, am off to a large family gathering next weekend to celebrate a wedding. My family are all heavy drinkers and it’s bound to be the sort of occasion when most will expect everyone else to be imbibing. Of course those thoughts run through my mind in the lead up to ...
by Tai
16 Aug 2019 07:12
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I remember early on taking AF beer to social things, I’d drink one, then fill the can / bottle with water and drink that for the rest of the evening. If it looks like you’re drinking no one gives you a second glance and to be honest it was never about the taste for me so one AF beer was enough. I’d ...
by Tai
15 Aug 2019 06:38
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

The past is difficult territory for many of us and the regrets we carry can weigh us down that’s for sure. I found it useful to understand that there is a distinction between guilt/shame and taking responsibility. Guilt and shame are centred on and within the self and that’s not useful except if we ...
by Tai
14 Aug 2019 06:53
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I found it useful to change my evening routine Diane, eating earlier definitely helped me in terms of wanting to drink. It helps with the cravings if we stay on top of hunger and thirst. Also boredom was a huge trigger for me, I took to walking as a way of dealing with the fidgety feelings and to ki...
by Tai
12 Aug 2019 17:21
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Yes socialising was the thing I dreaded most when I first got sober, it really can seem like every social setting revolves around drinking and thus I’d always and forever be the odd one out looking in. I’d always used alcohol to ease my anxiety in social situations and it seemed impossibly hard to e...
by Tai
12 Aug 2019 07:57
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

It’s good to see you Neal <:)> closing in on the 2 week dozen day mark and I hope you feel good about that because you should. I remember early sobriety as being tough, but also such a relief to step away of the drinking merry-go-round. Stick with it mate. TC, Nicky <:)> it’s always tough to find th...
by Tai
11 Aug 2019 16:41
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

It’s great to read about people racking up time in sobriety, whether it’s days, weeks, months, years or decades, it’s all about making progress along the same road ... learning lessons, getting stronger, living life free of reliance on alcohol. It never ceases to amaze me what a liar addiction is. N...
by Tai
01 Jun 2019 06:15
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: The Road to Abstinence.
Replies: 11160
Views: 660495

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

I’m sorry things weren’t great for one of your children PP, I only know second hand from talking to my siblings who are all parents, that when their kids hurt they hurt too ... deeply. I guess having come through “less than ideal childhoods” ourselves we feel this kind of thing all the more intensel...
by Tai
01 Jun 2019 06:05
Forum: Sobriety Challenges
Topic: The 1 Year Milestone
Replies: 9470
Views: 374449

Re: The 1 Year Milestone

Way to go Sheila, you are rocking this one girl \:)/ \:)/ \:)/ \:)/