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by Rachel
17 Dec 2011 04:20
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: General Support and Chat
Replies: 13223
Views: 660231

Re: December General Support and Chat

My doctors are usually ok but refused to help yesterday. Maybe I have pushed them over the limit of their patience with my repeated relapses. A shame because I really think I am nearly there. They wouldn't even give me advice on how quickly I should taper down (what I really wanted was medication, a...
by Rachel
16 Dec 2011 09:19
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: General Support and Chat
Replies: 13223
Views: 660231

Re: December General Support and Chat

I am off to the doctor's for some advice in an hour. I just keep telling myself that I can't necessarily expect to overcome a 15 year habit in 8 (eeek!) months. But I am getting there. Or my husband said I was this morning, which is the nest thing anyone couuld say, especially given the anguish i ha...
by Rachel
16 Dec 2011 08:01
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: General Support and Chat
Replies: 13223
Views: 660231

Re: December General Support and Chat

I have buggered up yet again. My body and mind don't seem to be able to take alcohol anymore. Emotionally I am all over the place. Pyschologically there's chattering going on in my head when I try to sleep and a constant sense of panic once the poison begins to get out of my system. I have tried tap...
by Rachel
20 Nov 2011 00:59
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: Are you drinking now ?
Replies: 3080
Views: 207706

Re: Are you drinking now ?

Yes, I am. Again. Why can't I beat this thing. I don't even enjoy it.
by Rachel
20 Nov 2011 00:56
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: General Support and Chat
Replies: 13223
Views: 660231

Re: November General Support and Chat

Is anyone up? Maybe I should be on the SOS thread, but I don't want to overdramatize. I am feeling a bit desperate, but don't really want to talk about booze. I think I need distraction and I appreciate that's a bit selfish. Here's where I am. 60 days off drinking. One week on, one week off and now ...
by Rachel
17 Nov 2011 13:59
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Help... again.I am not expecting any.
by Rachel
15 Nov 2011 11:50
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: General Support and Chat
Replies: 13223
Views: 660231

Re: November General Support and Chat

Depressing? Interesting? Enlightening?
by Rachel
07 Nov 2011 05:26
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: Are you drinking now ?
Replies: 3080
Views: 207706

Re: Are you drinking now ?

This is probably not what you are saying Libelula, but I sometimes think that making alcoholism 'The Big Thing' makes it more difficult to deal with it. The molehills become mountains etc. It is a big thing but should one let it dominate one's life? Can one afford not to? When one starts to self ana...
by Rachel
07 Nov 2011 04:57
Forum: Relationships
Topic: One Last Chance - can anyone help?
Replies: 13
Views: 1798

Re: One Last Chance - can anyone help?

I don't think I can offer any objective advice because I am afraid I am the wife and my husband is certainly thinking the same thing right now about me as you are thinking about your wife. The reason I am saying anything at all is because your post is making me try to put my self in his shoes as opp...
by Rachel
03 Nov 2011 08:15
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: Are you drinking now ?
Replies: 3080
Views: 207706

Re: Are you drinking now ?

Frances, I hope you are ok...
by Rachel
03 Nov 2011 08:11
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

I'm not going to give up, and I'm sorry if I was critical of BE. I am going through an emotional roller coaster at the moment.
by Rachel
02 Nov 2011 15:39
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Sorry I posted a childish thing then deleted it. I am feeling a bit desolate. I'll probably get over it.
by Rachel
02 Nov 2011 14:40
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

I am feeling utterly desperate. It's all very well for people to say 'be strong'. I am evidently very weak. Perhaps this is not the site for me.
by Rachel
01 Nov 2011 16:01
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: Are you drinking now ?
Replies: 3080
Views: 207706

Re: Are you drinking now ?

Thank you both for your comments. I will persevere. I got my blood test results back after I posted that message. My Gamma GT's have gone down from 700 (eeeek!) 2 months ago to 30. Such an amazing nice surprise after my doctor had told me that they might never go back to normal because of possible p...
by Rachel
01 Nov 2011 07:40
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Thank you. That made me cry in a cathartic way.
by Rachel
01 Nov 2011 06:33
Forum: Relapsing
Topic: Are you drinking now ?
Replies: 3080
Views: 207706

Re: Are you drinking now ?

Yes I am after two months of not doing. I think I need a virtual slap around the face.
The terrifying thing is that once I lapse I seem to go back to square one.
by Rachel
01 Nov 2011 06:30
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)
Replies: 11645
Views: 684020

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Sorry to start the month off on a bad note... I got to day 60 and then fell this weekend. So stupid. Why is staying stopped so damned difficult? I feel like I have the worst of both worlds right now. I am pretty miserable when I am not drinking and certainly miserable when I am. My husband is furiou...
by Rachel
11 Oct 2011 20:58
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: October General Support and Chat
Replies: 80
Views: 9903

Re: October General Support and Chat

but how to tell what is stress because of drinking and how much is part of my life??? It's hard to disentangle lots of things from drink but I certainly know that drinking exacerbates depression for me, and makes me blow what to other people would be small set backs out of all proportion. My depres...
by Rachel
10 Oct 2011 19:38
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: October General Support and Chat
Replies: 80
Views: 9903

Re: October General Support and Chat

Hi REMF, I've wondered that myself before. I've tried giving myself permission to drink and managed just one or two for quite sometime but it has always crept up. I think for me I just get addicted once I start to drink whereas while I'm not drinking I'm ok and usually don't feel like a drink (then...
by Rachel
10 Oct 2011 16:10
Forum: General Recovery
Topic: October General Support and Chat
Replies: 80
Views: 9903

Re: October General Support and Chat

I sometimes wonder binging after a period of abstinence - the boomerang effect - is partly because one has to keep such a tight grip on oneself when one is not drinking. If you let go, you fall hard. Perhaps if one could be more relaxed about not drinking then this wouldn't happen. But then if you c...