Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8167
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Shadowlad »

Aww Cowboy that was such a thoughtful post, so very honest and real. It's sad that you feel you have been hanging around BE for too long and that it doesn't feel like your sanctuary anymore. While BE remains online, any one of us can come back at any time to help and share thoughts/tips/feelings. You have so much to give and are very valuable. You can be here for as long or as little as you want, it is so flexible. It's interesting the different things that become our sanctuary. For a long time BE (the people in it) made me feel safe, listened to, advised and happy. This was much of the time but then i had my mind to contend with. Negatives thoughts and insecurity would creep in, paranoia and feeling like an outsider. None of this was fact. There was no evidence. The problem was centred in the thoughts, conditioned thinking and reactions that needed rewiring just like the alcoholic brain. The trauma you mention leaves it's legacy in a person's very being/ sense of self, and it can feel a lifetime's work trying to make sense of ourselves and other people. The world is full of people living with effects of psychological/physical trauma every day, and as we are all unique then we all have differing ways of dealing with it.

So in my journey i have learnt that much of the negative, sometimes torturous thinking is not actually facts. I strive to look for evidence and then the weight lifts. Any negative feelings i felt towards myself or others lifts and my soul is free again. It takes a bit of practice but this continued challenging thinking paves the way to a more peaceful life. I still have days, far far less now, where i fall into a grey uncertain mist. With a bit of mental searching i can now remind myself that i am not worthless, it is not a fact, and the feeling is going to pass.

Cowboy maybe you miss how the forum used to be when it was bustling with lots of supportive members (meaning in bigger numbers) . You may miss BE friends that are no longer using the forum. That is a totally valid feeling as this forum thrives on members supporting each other, by its very nature. This can still be your sanctuary because most of us who drift away after years sober are still out there and still contactable. I personally felt a bit bad that i was no longer contributing anything here, when the truth is i depended on the 24 hour support that i received here for so many years. I would like to stay around and contribute when i can to help others. Its been lovely talking with peeps here again :).

Sorry to hear your lovely collie has passed on also. I feel blessed to have had such a lovely dog, but i don't think i will get another, will just stick with cats.

Anyway, i hope you have a good day, and the same to anybody reading. <:)>


download - 2021-05-11T134744.922.jpg
download - 2021-05-11T134744.922.jpg (9.47 KiB) Viewed 697 times
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
Topcat
Posts: 33293
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 19:37
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2011
Location: Topcat Towers
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Topcat »

CB and Nicky -very moving posts <:)> CB, I agree with Nicky. There is no time limit on BE. You can come/go/stay as and when you wish. You would be missed if you stayed away too long my friend <:)>

Sorry to read that you have both lost your lovely dogs <:)>

How about some tea?
afternoon tea.jpg
afternoon tea.jpg (42.87 KiB) Viewed 683 times
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

User avatar
Mark.
Posts: 25639
Joined: 15 Jun 2010 11:58
Location: Uri Geller's barbecue
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Mark. »

<:)> and <:)> to CB and Nicky from me too - beautiful, moving posts from you both.

I don't think I can anything other than to echo TC's sentiments:
Topcat wrote:
11 May 2021 14:50
There is no time limit on BE. You can come/go/stay as and when you wish. You would be missed if you stayed away too long my friend
And, as a collie owner (in truth, she owns me), I'm really sorry to hear of both your losses <:)>
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
~ Marianne Faithfull

221b for the 2021 Challenge

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8167
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Shadowlad »

TC and Mark <:)> <:)>

Afternoon tea is perfect :)
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

Suck lovelyposts CB and SL.
Cowboy, I have mentioned before how much I enjoy your posts, and would’ve kind of sad if you weren’t around these parts but I do also really understand what you are saying.
Speaking of therapy, I am starting a new therapist today and am oddly excited about it!
Have a great everyone.
Chripy
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8167
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Shadowlad »

Chirpy wrote:
12 May 2021 22:03
Speaking of therapy, I am starting a new therapist today and am oddly excited about it!
Hi chirpy. I hope it went well with your new therapist. Best wishes to you and Cowboy with your therapy. Mine ended a month or two ago and i found it very helpful xx

Hello TC and all late loungers :\:

images - 2020-08-13T104339.363.jpg
images - 2020-08-13T104339.363.jpg (10.79 KiB) Viewed 626 times
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

Hi Shadowland, it went super well. I am feeling really good about it, and have also got a few audio books to listen to in the car and in cooking etc.
Have a lovely week late loungers.....I finally am getting to wear some wintery clothes, but the extended summer we have had is beyond crazy!
Chirpy
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Topcat
Posts: 33293
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 19:37
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2011
Location: Topcat Towers
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Topcat »

Oh no - hope I'm not too late for that wonderful ice cream marvel ;)?

Glad the therapy went well Chirpy and congratulations on reaching One Year AF (::) \:)/
Chirpy wrote:
16 May 2021 22:33
.I finally am getting to wear some wintery clothes, but the extended summer we have had is beyond crazy!
We're having an extended winter over here. Sure is a mad, mad, mad mad world :roll:
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

thanks TC!
I have a new addiction and I realised I am late to the party, but we just discovered Peaky Blinders and with a spicy hot choc with full cream milk, its a wintery dream! I am so zen right now, I can only watch one episode a night or else I can't sleep from the stimulation!!
Chirpy
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Topcat
Posts: 33293
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 19:37
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2011
Location: Topcat Towers
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Topcat »

Chirpy wrote:
17 May 2021 08:52
I can only watch one episode a night or else I can't sleep from the stimulation!!
Chirpy
:lol:
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

Iroquois
Posts: 2782
Joined: 12 Feb 2015 21:50
Location: Colorado, USA
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Iroquois »

I must see if I can still get Peaky Blinders on my “stream”!

If you need a quieter, feel good screen addiction, try The Repair Shop! I love, love, love that show and they did have a new season! This show is like taking a happy pill along with a huge chocolate bunny!

Right now I am watching Halston, a bit more than I needed to see, but, oh well, interesting story about the fashion world!

What did we do before technology reigned supreme? :shock: :? :roll:
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

oh I love TV and Movie recommendations, my absolute fave over the last few years was The Detectorists! So light but so moving. I m going to look up The Repair Shop!
I wondered about Halston, but to be honest nothing seems to grab my attention any more. I am starting more audio books, although even then I find my mind drifts!
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Cowboy
Posts: 3096
Joined: 31 Jul 2016 10:55
Location: Canadian Wilderness
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Cowboy »

Living in Eastern Canada I am often up into the night while most of the folks in these parts have gone to bed. I know that there are some people from the States and Canada that are on the site and hopeful that some of these folks may check into the Late Lounge. Would be nice to have some folks to share my evenings with particularly when I am struggling. There have been many in the past that have checked into the lounge at night to share the sobriety experience.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

love checking in here Cowby, and sometimes I am around during my day (your night maybe). hope its going well, and you are feeling good.
All well here, got a little puppy clambering round my feet, and she is just perfection! Super little time waster
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Cowboy
Posts: 3096
Joined: 31 Jul 2016 10:55
Location: Canadian Wilderness
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Cowboy »

A new puppy. That sounds like fun. Your little one must be so happy. All kids should have a dog growing up. Hope all is well in NZ these days. Must be the first day of winter there. Winter solstice? First day of summer here and a great day.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

yep winter is here, we celebrate Matariki which is the Maori new year. I think we just had the shortest day.
Puppy daze, its just fabulous. Little one is doing so well, but, its very hard for her to find the balance but we are getting there. they have chase game and other things, and then the puppy growls when she pushes her luck!!
How you doing this week CB?
Chirp
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Cowboy
Posts: 3096
Joined: 31 Jul 2016 10:55
Location: Canadian Wilderness
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Cowboy »

Hey Chirps. I'm doing well. Four days in and starting to feel more normal. Sleeping well. Eating well. Thinking well.

Enjoy the Matariki festivities. It's a very sad time for Canadians when it comes to our Indigenous Peoples. We are as a nation embarrassed with what we did and/or stood by and watched in the name of religion and so called manifest destiny.

Puppies and kids eh? Does it get any better? We actually had a litter of 10 believe it or not when the kids were young. A very enjoyable time in the cowboy household. The kids have great memories as I'm certain your little girl will. Hope all is well.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

Chirpy
Posts: 443
Joined: 16 May 2020 21:03
Last Drink Date: 16 May 2020
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Chirpy »

hiya CB
just settling into a cool winter evening, its been so war for the last little bit that no one would think it was winter. But tonight I am cold! Global warming is definitely evident this winter.
Been great for puppy time and toilet training.
A littler of ten sound like trouble, and fun! poor mama!! Our puppy is pretty much just my shadow, which I am kind of enjoying the unconditional love compared to the 4 year old! haha
I wonder where all the other late loungers are and hope they are all well
I am doing well, its been a spot of temptation lately but not anything too serious. I started some therapy and its quite intense, but ultimately I guess will be helpful, but some things coming around which are quite painful.
I guess its all part of the journey
Chirpy
She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole beautiful- Terri St.Cloud

User avatar
Topcat
Posts: 33293
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 19:37
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2011
Location: Topcat Towers
Contact:

Re: Late lounge (& other non-UK locations...)

Post by Topcat »

Good to hear things are going well CB and Chirpy ;)?

Puppies and children are a great combination aren't they? I have lovely memories of my own childhood furry friends.

Wet and cold here in the south of England. So much for summer :roll:
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

Post Reply