NOTICE BOARD

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Liquid Child
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Liquid Child »

:D me doe E

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Bupster
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Bupster »

Glenn, you were not 'dreadfully treated'. You were asked to stop posting vitriolic attacks on AA. You refused, and turned several threads into endless rants that the moderators had a vendetta against you. We do not. We are simply fed up of the forum being derailed.

We managed all of two days in which this forum operated as it should. Glenn, this is you, not anyone else out to get you. Please leave this alone.
Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. George Herbert

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patty
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by patty »

Do you know something,

Im really sorry for saying this , but I have a father who has been given 12 months (if hes lucky) to live. and a daughter in law (who is 30) fighting for her life in hospital through a stroke with 2 babies and a husband and a LIFE which she loves, everybody else on here has their own similar problems which we just turn to BE for a little support or help with and at the moment all I seem to hear about is YOU and YOUR problem with BE. the issue has been more than addressed and instead of putting all your effort into slaying mike and other moderators I suggest you get your own life in order and deal with the issues that are most important to you and surely that is getting sober.
we are all on here for that reason and that reason alone, as explained previously we all have our own opinions now can we please give it a REST!!!!!

Yours respectfully,

Patty

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patty
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by patty »

sorry everyone :(

Patty xxxx

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Lush
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Lush »

No problems patty, you're right. <:)>

Susie
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"I love the English language, it has a certain je ne sais qoi".

Amber
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Amber »

Patty, dont be sorry for telling people the way you feel, ever. Your words are very sobering(no pun intended) We all need to take stock and think about what is important in our lives and to try somehow to appreciate the life we do have, the members of your family that are suffering right now would no doubt give anything for a chance at a healthy life. Your post is humbling and has certainly been a reminder to me, to respect life more and focus on issues that are important. Bless you Patty and thankyou for posting how you felt. I really hope things improve for you and your loved ones very soon xxxxx <:)>
The strongest among the weak is the one who doesn't forget his weaknesses.
- Danish Proverb

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kellyojoe
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by kellyojoe »

Hello Patty,

Im so sad to hear about what you and your family are going through and I take my hat off to you for not using it as an excuse to hit the bottle hard, you are amazing. My love and thoughts are with you and your family <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)>

Love Kelly xxx
Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now. ~Jonatan MÃ¥rtensson

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Liquid Child
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Liquid Child »

Patty,

I am deeply saddened by your situation with your family and this is certainly not fair that SO many of us happen to be arguing over what is such a trivial thing in comparison to what you are having to go through. I do apologize if you feel I'm one of the main instigators of all this fuss because it is not fair on you and your situation in comparison <:)> <:)> <:)>



Glenn
Last edited by Liquid Child on 18 Nov 2008 04:57, edited 1 time in total.

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Mike
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Mike »

Another snippet from the Wikipedia entry for 'Internet Forum'.

Main article: Troll (Internet)
A troll is a user that repeatedly and intentionally breaches netiquette, often posting derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages about sensitive topics in an established online community to bait users into responding, often starting flame wars. They may also link to shock sites or plant images on networks that others may find disturbing in order to cause confrontation.

There is more, but not relevant to our situation. I would encourage any interested BE members to look at the entire Wikipedia 'definition' which contains many useful insights into forum use and etiquette.

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becstarr
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by becstarr »

I suggest you get your own life in order and deal with the issues that are most important to you and surely that is getting sober.
we are all on here for that reason and that reason alone, as explained previously we all have our own opinions now can we please give it a REST!!!!!
I couldn't agree more with you Patty. I am sick to death of all this crap.

Glenn - this is straight from the guidelines thread
It is provided in the hope that people can support each other - offer advice or ask for it, and receive a non-judgemental response. Anyone consistently not offering that sort of respect in their responses will be removed from the forum.
Sorry peeps but I've stayed quiet on this whole damn issue so I don't fuel the fire but enough is enough its time that Tobin & mods start taking some action. How many warnings can one person have??

Sorry Glenn I really do wish you well but you are making this forum an unhappy one for alot of people (myself included). I wish you can really pull yourself together and realise that we are all trying to help each other out.

Bec

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Jan
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Jan »

Mike, it takes one to know one.

Glenn came onto this site in a bad way, but full of hope and enthusiasm. He bouced almost immediately into a few days of sobriety. He started to turn his life around and Bright Eye was GOOD for him. Look what we have done to him. He is now a wreck - sometimes afraid to post (as indeed, many of us are. I can include myself in that category). I really feel that Bright Eye has let down a very vulnerable member and franky am ashamed to be part of this. Ashamed. That is why I haven't been here. I am ashamed of Bright Eye. I also feel it is no bloody fun any more!

Glenn,
I know you want answers but you aren't going to get them. Take the lovely Jaycee's advice and move on, concentrate on getting yourself better. I would like to start a new thread - a safe zone for you to post - a zone where sensitive or easily offended members need not go. But I don't know how to start a new thread! Help.

Love Auntie Jan

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Bupster
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Bupster »

Jan, with the greatest of respect, as I've always looked up to you, but your take on what's been happening here is absolutely back to front. Glenn did bounce on here full of enthusiasm. Within a couple of weeks, he was drinking again, but though his posts were often obscene and inappropriate, they meant no harm so we deleted them. After his first AA meeting, recommended after he made an appeal for help that many of us answered, at least two threads were completely derailed as Glenn attempted to have all mention of AA banned. Since then, he has decided that several of the mods including me are out to get him. I'm really not. I really want him just to behave as he used to, to ask for help when he needs it, and to concentrate on getting sober. I used to like Glenn. At the moment he clearly has enormous problems but he is monopolising the board, and it's supposed to be a safe place for all vulnerable members, not just Glenn.

Jan, this isn't a Mike thing, or a mod thing, it's a Glenn thing. Perhaps he needs more help than we can offer. I won't however let the forum degenerate into a constant venue for argument. It's not fair on the other people who need the place.

Glenn, if you post on this, I will delete it. If you have a problem with that, email Tobin. Don't post it publicly, or it will be deleted.

Bupster
Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. George Herbert

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themolesmother
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by themolesmother »

(Sigh)

I have tried so hard not to get involved in this but I feel I can't just stand silent any longer. I've been a frequenter of various forums on diverse subjects for many years and I've seen this situation play itself out time and time again. The result is seldom good, and the best way for a user to respond is to steadfastly ignore the kerfuffle until the parties concerned get tired of beating each other up. By that time, of course, the forum concerned may no longer exist as the administrator will get fed up with the hassle and pull the plug.

However, BE means a lot more to me than any other forum I frequent and Patty's heartfelt post makes me ashamed of myself for not saying something earlier.

Glenn - I agree with everything that patty has said here. Your behaviour on this forum is becoming totally unacceptable. Yes, I'm sure you have your supporters but the majority who have actually posted here seem to be as heartily sick of the whole thing as Patty and others who have posted this morning and wish that you would simply give it a rest.

I would like to have some sympathy for you, but I am afraid you have exhausted any compassion I might have felt with that veiled threat in your last post. I have my own problems to deal with and I have no desire to try and support someone who insists on trying to tear this forum apart. For god's sake, grow up.

MM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step

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M4RK
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by M4RK »

Sorry, You can't just turn around and say some ones opinion is back to front. It is their opinion.

I was going to stay out of this but am on the verge of leaving myself. I am with Jan on this one. Yes Glenn, is being difficult and argumentative, Glenn (I am going to pm you tonight, I'm at work at the moment so I have to keep this short) but he is going through a rough patch and we, BE, cannot turn our back on someone who is in need of support and help, real help, not a cuddle, or a oh dear you've slipped never mind, real help. If I fall off the wagon, hit a rough patch, have a rant on here, am I gonna get the support I need? Are you? Or do we only support when it's easy?

At the same time as this we need to remember that there are new starters and others with problems which need support, everyone deserves support and I think Jan's idea of a room to quarantine the grievances would be worth a try. (I know we have to a certain extent with the rant room, but maybe we can try again slightly differently).

Glenn - don't get me wrong, I don't agree with the way you have gone about some of your posts, but that is just my opinion. I do recognise you need help and support and will give you a shout tonight.

This is only my opinion and I do not wish it to offend anyone.

Mark

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Lush
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Lush »

Liquid Child wrote:These matters are ripping my heart apart and if only some of you with a little more understanding could see just how much I am both physically and mentaly drained and my head is all over the place and just how close I am to doing something that will tear my family apart with grief.

Glenn
Glenn, you are not the only vulnerable person on this forum. I am sorry that you feel so aggrieved, but your persecution complex and your outright need to repeat yourself over and over is getting you, or the forum, nowhere. Are you keeping this up in the hope that all of a sudden we're all going to agree with you after all? I'm sorry but that's not going to happen. Like I said to you in the SOS thread - you're a 43 year old man who needs to stop blaming everyone else for what is happening to you, and take some responsibility. Threatening suicide on an open forum is emotional blackmail. You also need to understand that none of us (with the exception of Tobin) are trained counsellors, and to that end, you need far more help at the moment than any of us are able to provide on here.

Susie
xx
"I love the English language, it has a certain je ne sais qoi".

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Bupster
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Bupster »

Mark, I take your point - an opinion is an opinion, you're quite right.

My feelings at the moment are not that we should only offer help when it's easy, but that what Glenn wants at the moment is nothing but vindication, which he simply can't have, and secondly - and I could well be wrong on this - that this crisis has to some extent been created by Glenn to give him a reason to drink and to take drugs, as he posted on another thread: he's backed himself into a corner from which the only route out is getting off his head. And I am genuinely at a loss as to what to offer him at this stage. He has turned down residential detox, we're all aware ad nauseum of his opinions on AA, and as Susie's pointed out, we're not trained counsellors, just ordinary people, trying to protect what was meant as a sanctuary. When we ring-fenced a thread for ranting, Glenn not only took it over but spread the rants onto several other threads, and this isn't including the initial reasons for his monopolising the moderators attentions, which was his inappropriate posting on various threads in the early hours of the morning.

I really had no problem with Glenn monopolising the moderators' attentions initially. It was a pain, but I felt him to be essentially harmless and desperately in need of help. I still feel that he needs help, but I no longer think that he is harmless: I think his behaviour is becoming increasingly extreme and manipulative, including some rather awful emotional blackmail on this thread, and I don't think we have the capacity to give him the help that he needs, and in the meantime, all of everybody's time and energies is focused on Glenn, when there are so many people that come to this forum who need our time and attention. Please, Mark, I have enormous respect for you also; if you feel that there is a better way of dealing with Glenn I would welcome your input.

All the very best,
Bupster
Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. George Herbert

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Anna
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Anna »

Why don't you just look at this?
A person has come for help.
He has been privately contacted by moderators and urged to go to AA of all places.
He's been told that they will take him along themselves.
Did the people in question take him along?
Is that anywhere near their role as moderators?

But they were doing the worst possible thing in the circumstances. They have caused a huge resurgence of distress for a member and unleashed the disturbance at the very heart of his problem.
Rather than tackling this, rather than apologising and allowing that member somewhere to talk about his feelings, they have, in effect ostracized him and denied him help.
As Mark says....it can take a hell of a lot more than a huggy smiley sometimes.

In my view some people need to take responsibility for a extremely serious error and should be working very, very, hard at this time to make amends for actually causing a real person, acute distress.

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Bupster
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Bupster »

Anna, as I'm sure you know, we had no idea that Glenn's feelings were so strong initially. Once we realised that, of course we wouldn't keep pushing him to do something that so deeply upset and disturbed him.

However, this forum is for more people than just Glenn, and we received genuinely distressed PMs from members who felt that AA had saved them and helped them and that Glenn was personally attacking them. There was also a feeling that AA - which incidentally I've never attended, and of which I'm not a blind defender by any means - must always exist as an option that we can offer to members that might benefit from it, as part of a raft of options. That just doesn't gel with a forum in which several threads are being monopolised by anti-AA rants. This really didn't begin as any kind of an attempt to ostracise Glenn, and I recognise that you want him to feel safe, but we need to keep the forum safe for everyone, not just Glenn. It seems to me impossible to allow Glenn to post when and where he likes, and keep it as a safe place for all members, whether they're trying AA or not.

Allowing Glenn a "safe place to talk about his feelings" means at this stage in effect giving up the entire forum to anti-AA rants and anti-moderator rants. I don't mind the latter on my own behalf, though I reserve the right to respond, but I do get cross on my colleagues' behalf. I know that you personally dislike me, Anna, but Kitty and Darcy in particular are extremely good mods who put a lot of effort and time into looking after this place. I also know you turned down the role when the forum was much smaller. I don't think that's reason enough to attack us for hanging on in there now, when as you've pointed out, a huggy smiley doesn't necessarily cut the mustard. This is a difficult situation, we're doing our best, and I appreciate contributions from other concerned members, but please try to see that we're not playing daft games, we are genuinely trying to strike a difficult balance between the needs of all the members on Bright Eye.

Bupster
Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. George Herbert

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Jan
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Jan »

I can see both sides of the argument and would like to suggest a compromise. There will always be contentious issues - it's not just Glenn. These things will always crop up. Can I suggest a new thread? Glenn will promise to post ONLY on this thread, nowhere else on the Forum, and those who object to it have no need to peep inside the door of The Back Room. They also have no grounds for complaint because they have been warned that it may be contentious. This leaves the rest of Bright Eye free to carry on as normal.


THE BACK ROOM
Topics that don't fit the other forums. Chill out with a joke or get stuck in a heated debate. Stay out if you are faint hearted and always blame the Americans/French/British (delete as applicable)


I think this will work. Glenn still needs support and there are still a few of us who are prepared to offer that support. I think this may work - but I leave the decision to you.

Peace and Love ...... and err, all that good stuff.
Auntie Jan

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Lush
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Re: NOTICE BOARD

Post by Lush »

Jan, I respect your opinion I really do, but I think having that kind of thread can lead to nothing but trouble. Some people already post whatever they feel like without any consideration as to how hurtful it can be to other members of the forum, and opening another thread specifically for that purpose is asking for trouble. It's all well and good saying 'keep out if you're faint hearted' but that is a form of exclusion which doesn't sit well with me.

I agree that Glenn needs support, but as I said in my earlier post, none of us here are trained counsellors (apart from Tobin) and he needs more expert support than any of us here can give him. I think giving him free rein to rant is a bad idea because it will 'legitimise' some of the incoherent stuff he's been coming out with, and I feel it will actually do him more harm than good.

Susie
xx
"I love the English language, it has a certain je ne sais qoi".

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