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Mike
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Re: Why we're here

Post by Mike » 20 Feb 2008 22:51

Thanks Jaycee,
Definitely go along with all of that. It can be a daily struggle as you say. I had a tough evening yesterday but I managed to resist temptation. I have been out again tonight but it was easier. The bunch of guys I was with know I have stopped drinking and they were very helpful. So I still have not had a drink for 6 months, yet.

Fortunately I shall be able to take refuge in AA meetings tomorrow and Friday. They will steady my resolve and help to relax me again. At the moment I am noticing a few frayed nerves. It comes from trying to mix socially without being able to drink. It is never going to be particularly easy.

Has anyone listened to Case Notes about the liver on Radio 4 ? I just heard it on the BBC Listen Again web page. That will make you stop drinking. And lose some weight!
Mike.

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Mike
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Re: Why we're here

Post by Mike » 20 Feb 2008 23:26

Hi Marshy
Please go and see your GP re the pain in your sides. You know the differential diagnosis as well as anyone. Please get it checked out. Part of the problem is that you are worn out both mentally and physically. But you know the drinking isn't helping.
You need to try to keep yourself from falling apart.
Thinking about you, Mike.

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Re: Why we're here

Post by sue » 21 Feb 2008 09:34

Hi Jaycee,
Regarding your message on people never or rarely posting on this forum. In my case its not always easy to as I live on my own with my 9 year old daughter and I wouldn't want to worry her by being on a forum such as this. So I breeze in and out quickly sometimes. Its OK when she's at school but its half term at the moment. You're probably thinking she knows I have alcohol problems but I hide it quite well, mainly drinking when she's in bed and when not, playing down the fact its only a "few" glasses of wine. She probably knows I'm not quite like her friends' mothers but she's not known me any other way....... and I feel accepts it; though she does say she likes me more when I'm not drinking.

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Tessa
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Re: Why we're here

Post by Tessa » 21 Feb 2008 15:16

Hi Marshmaiden
how are you doing? I have just got around to reading all the posts so am replying with whatever might be useful now. Is the pain in the middle of your stomach or to the left/right? I cant diagnose as only a doctor can do that, but I think that your body is totally out of wack with all the stress you are going through now, so I wouldnt put the entire blame on alcohol. All your regular bodily functions will not be cooperating with you, thats normal under stress, so I just wanted to mention that it could be a "loo" thingy, god i am so bad at being direct in this sort of thing, but anyway, as a nurse you know what i mean.

If that is not happening like it usually does, then often that is a cause for abdominal pain. Or stress, too much acid, which is also cos of alcohol, and then the stomach goes all doo lally, cant spell that one. Indigestion and acid can cause extreme pain, and from personal experience, i would suggest you try to get those drinks from Danone or whatever with the probiotic stuff, and also, if you ever take any tablets, be it aspirin or anything else, PLEASE, make sure you have either one of those pro biotic drinks before or a joghurt, this protects the lining of the stomach, like why am i telling you that, you know that anyway being a nurse! Its just that right now you have a hell of a lot on your plate so you might not be thinking of yourself, in fact i am sure you are not from the sounds of things.

Like Jaycee and Cheryl and everyone else, i agree that after these things have sorted themselves out, your life as it is right now, the worries and stress, you can concentrate on yourself, so although many would shout at me for saying this, i remain with the opinion that you just do what you need to do to get through this, and we all know that your wish to stop or reduce alcohol is there, just right now its not doable. So i think you should eliminate that guilt and desperate feeling that comes from drinking. You will be able to work on that at a later date.

For the time being, i would suggest the following. Lets assume you will be drinking wine through this difficult time. That means your body needs extra attention and "good" stuff to keep up. So, i say that whenever you can, even if its WHILE you are drinking, still be good to your body. Get a carton of Beetroot juice, it is a fantastic cleanser. Try to eat as many greens as possible, i realise you prolly dont have a lot of time to cook, so a good salad would be fine. Then get the tomatoes in there. This is quick and easy to do. When we go through stress situations we dont look after our bodies, and i figured out certain things that are beneficial and quick for those times when we just cant be arsed. Get yourself a bag of sunflower seeds and i THINK this other one is flaxseed, its a very small dark brown seed, very shiny. Now i looked at that and though god alive, when can i eat that. Well, they have very little flavour, so i just sprinkle them wherever, on salad, whatever i am eating as they really dont taste of anything, but are super good for you.

Bananas are also full of great stuff, there are times though where i cant even get that down me, but if you can, you are doing good things for your body. How about a smoothie. banana, yoghurt, honey, mango, strawberry, milk and just whiz it up? All i want to say is be good to your body while you go through this time, where the alcohol intake might be more than you would like. I too am not going through a brilliant time, so what i do is not ignore that i still can be good to my body while i drink wine, and this really is important.

I hope this helps.
Tessa xx
Life is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes then steal your dreams..

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Re: Why we're here

Post by ika » 21 Feb 2008 17:49

sue wrote:Hi Jaycee,
Regarding your message on people never or rarely posting on this forum. In my case its not always easy to as I live on my own with my 9 year old daughter and I wouldn't want to worry her by being on a forum such as this. So I breeze in and out quickly sometimes. Its OK when she's at school but its half term at the moment. You're probably thinking she knows I have alcohol problems but I hide it quite well, mainly drinking when she's in bed and when not, playing down the fact its only a "few" glasses of wine. She probably knows I'm not quite like her friends' mothers but she's not known me any other way....... and I feel accepts it; though she does say she likes me more when I'm not drinking.
Hi Sue , I am new too this side I started a topic Cold Turkey .. anyway I have two kids and been drinking for a long time I used to do what you are doing now that is drinking after my kids went to bed because when they were younger that is about your daughters age they would go to bed quite early now they nearly adults and they samtimes stay up until 12 - 1 pm on weekeneds so for last few years they have seen me on regular basis beeing totaly drunk .. but what is worst they want to bring they friends home and sometimes they would stay over night so I was stuck in my bedroom with few bottles of wine .. not able to come out .. and it's just went down hill from there because I started to resent my kids .. for not accepting what I was doing .. and in fact that is why I am now trying to stop or rather lets say stopped x
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Re: Why we're here

Post by Rocky » 22 Feb 2008 13:34

Absolutely agree jaycee with your comments to Sue. How are u doing, thanx for joing me in the cyber sunshine hope youv'e got a tan lol but it distracted us from (u no what), not been around much this week but been Good 21 days today, been on Nights Mr Horrible shift all bed & work & no drink, working tonight so thats Friday Night dealt with, hope everybody on ere is doing well all 60 of us (registered) yes were in the same boat for different reasons. 9 registered users on line is the most lets c if we can beat that ,lets say 23:00hrs & catch up just a daft idea but keeps us occupied & yes we understand its Friday Night :lol:
Good to c u back Tessa hope all is well, thanx for the Liv.2 info, c u later bye. R

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Re: Why we're here

Post by sue » 23 Feb 2008 21:34

Hi Ika, Good for you for wanting to change your situation. I'm sure it gets harder the older your kids are! Far easier to "normalise" things whe they're young.
Know what you mean Jaycee about wanting people to post. I always feel better when I've posted, sort of an inclusion and an involvement feeling. But, I have to say, if I haven't checked in for a few days, it can seem really overwhelming, especially when there's long posts. As someone said in an earlier post, sometimes you just want to get stuff off your chest and off you go................... which is fantastic. But a sensitive alcoholic brain sometimes gets a little overwhelmed and scared of not being able to focus on who said what.............. so can remain silent!!

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Anna
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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Anna » 15 Mar 2008 09:24

Hi Jaycee,

Well done for putting this here. I'm in the same situation at the moment...only one free day this week so felt better yesterday evening and did it again.
I think its completely perverse, I know all the pitfalls, I know I don't want to get back into this idiocy but it seems too far to struggle at the moment and Im just not strong enough.

Also, i just physically can't go to the gym, swimming, all the other things I'd lined up because my back is too painful ...and even worse when I'm in bed so I'm tired and grouchy because I can't sleep.
I feel completely carp at the moment and I'm fully aware of why.

I don't really have a solution to this...But, like Jaycee, didn't feel very happy posting because everyone sounds so upbeat and I'm just struggling.
I know I can do it, its just that at the moment I feel pretty useless and lousy and disheartened at the prospect of another day 1.
Anyway, I'm thinking of you Jaycee....If I have a brainwave about how to get this right, I'll let you know !
Love to everyone,
Anna.x

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Tessa
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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Tessa » 15 Mar 2008 09:33

Hi Jaycee
I think this is a great idea, and it does seem that the daily/weekly whatever struggle isnt really being discussed, i had noticed it also. It does pop up in other threads, sometimes on the diner as well, but as Fiendish said it gets a bit lost, so i think this is a brilliant idea. High Hopes please post here, as when we "fall" we do need support from everyone even if they are doing well, all advice/support is always useful....and inspiring :)

Jaycee...my falling off was last week, and i can sympathise with you, this week was ok for me although I did have a lot of socialising but managed to keep the wine to a minimum. So dont feel like a failure because you arent, think back to before we started on this forum, now look at us....we are ALL making progress and sometimes we sneek off to the bushes, but then we come back and just get back on track...so dont look back on last week but into the next week, or day by day if that is easier and more realistic for you. Last night I drank 3/4 of the bottle of red wine, which i hadnt wanted to do, i am trying to keep it to a couple of glasses a couple of times a week....so i went way over my "goal"...BUT I wont let myself feel carp about it, it happened and tonight i can try again....so me young mate...lets have a "feel carp" FREE day <:)>

Well its the weekend and this is my most difficult time, so I know I will be posting on this thread even if its just to let it out and save me from saying "oh sod it" and crack open a bottle come the afternoon.
Tessa xx
Life is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes then steal your dreams..

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Jan » 15 Mar 2008 09:51

Hello again Jaycee,
Well done for starting this thread. Honey are you still necking down the Kudzu? I gave mine away after a couple of weeks to another mother at the school gate who admitted a problem. I thought I had the problem cracked and could do without it. However, I have just returned from Holland and Barrett with another fresh supply. I think I need it. I had a dry night last night (I sound like a bed-wetter) but it was the first for a long time.

Annakins, how about you? Are you on Kudzu? If not, it might be worth a try.

Hello Tessa, Fiendish, High Hopes, Ika, Cheryl and everyone else.
I'm sorry for deserting you all. I think I just lost the plot for a while. Sorry....
XX

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Anna » 15 Mar 2008 10:01

Maybe, when you get to a certain point of going on and on , just trying all the time, it makes it worse...

Who was it on here who decided to do the Bunny Hop and the very thought of it provoked a much worse bender than normal?

I think its useful to talk about...I felt totally bl@@dy invincible last weekend having done a very good stretch without. It makes you a different person and me a week ago wouldn't really be able to understand me now.

I just can't even really think about pulling myself together right now.We have people coming tonight and are out tomorrow.
I'm a bit fed up with being asked about our disasterous situation. I tend to make light of it because it is really scary and depressing and I don't want to be talk about it.
Perhaps if I just tell myself the alcohol is no big deal, then I won't beat myself up so much and my brain will have a chance to just leave it alone.

It is a worry though, loads of people have left, or at least, don't post anymore. So if it makes you feel any better, if you feel you're getting nowhere fast, you're probably right...but at least you've got company!!!

<:)>

Love,
Anna.x

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Anna
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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Anna » 15 Mar 2008 10:04

Jan, lovely Jan...No I'm in a right old mess but much cheered by seeing you!
<:)> <:)> <:)>

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Tessa
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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Tessa » 15 Mar 2008 10:07

Hi all,
Think our posts crossed back there :D I put in mine up above, that i definitely need the support of those that are back on track on this thread, its really helpful and inspiring so please post :D Jaycee...is that ok with you as well?

Hi Jan, good to see you back!
Anna, I hope today will be a better day today, sounds like you're going through a really carp time. I noticed something this week in my drinking pattern that might help for you as well in the evening, dunno but its worth a shot. So watch this space and i will write it down in a bit as i just have to finish something now...will be right back.
Tessa xx
Life is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes then steal your dreams..

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Anna » 15 Mar 2008 10:11

Fiendy,
Sorry, didn't see your post...No its fab to have people who are doing really well...lovely,lovely to see you!
I think maybe Jaycee and me needed a 'challenge free zone' to have a bit of a wallow in...like Eeyore's gloomy place..rather boggy and sad :shock:
Anna.x

Oh and Hi Tessa too! <:)>

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Jan » 15 Mar 2008 10:37

Annakins,
I get the feeling you don't want sympathy right now. What you really want is a knight in shining armour, armed with a very large cheque book and a massive sense of humour. (I guess the bank didn't want to play that role?) I wish I could help.

You were invincible last week - a shining star and to watch you rise from the ashes was nothing short of phenomenal. I hope you find the incentive, the sheer bloody guts, to do it again. I know it's not likely given your mood and circumstances at the moment and I don't want to be the one that says the Evil Alcohol Fairy won't kick you less because you are down. She just kicks more accurately - aims straight for the goollies.

Annakins, you do need a cuddle. Better stand up straight and look around because it's heading your way. I don't want it to miss you.

Tell yourself that its no big deal if it helps, but please Anna, do try. You are in a horrible situation and I can't see that dancing with the fairy is going to help in any way shape or form. You are an amazingly strong woman (although you don't see it - we all do) and you do have it within you to regain that momentum.

The trouble with Old f*ck Face the Fairy from Hell, is that she can be fun at times, she relieves the pressure, loosens the inhibitions, makes you laugh... BUT Old FF messes up with every other aspect of life. You may go to bed thinking that come the morning, you'll phone the bank, give the advisor a piece of your mind, write to so-and-so, and SORT THINGS OUT. But come the morning, Old FF has done her work. You are tired, hungover, no confidence, no self-esteem - can't be bothered to even answer the phone let alone make the phone calls.

So tell old FF that you have enough problems at the moment without her adding her two pence worth. Make light of her and tell her to b*ugger off. And then, my sweet, you have to carry on being strong for you and your family. Make those phone calls and forget about FF.

If you pm me your address I will send you some Kudzu as an early Christmas present. It's the very least I can do.

BIG HUG
Last edited by Jan on 15 Mar 2008 15:16, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by ika » 15 Mar 2008 10:38

Hi everybody,

This is very good thread and I know what you all mean .. people are now on diffrent stages of they recovery ... so I think all those threads are needed .. as sombody said here I think it was Anna .. that the peron who she was .. few weeks ago would not understand the peron she is now .. It is actually good to have diffrent places that you can go and talk depending on what stage you are .on .. also it is bringing hope ( I hope ) to see that people are moving on .. to diffrent stages ... Jaycee I hope I can pop in here everynow and then .. Lots of love to all of you.. <:)>
Gliding is an impression ...under the water the little legs have to work very hard

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Jan » 15 Mar 2008 10:50

Hello Tessa me Old China,
Our posts crossed. Are you OK? What are you up to in your life at the moment? Any interesting distractions? Are you keeping your head above the water?
Jan <:)>

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Tessa » 15 Mar 2008 11:14

Hi Jan
I've been doing well this week, the week before was absolute carp and the EAF had moved in with me, permanently! One of my best friends was over here for a conference this week, so that really helped, he's hilarious and we spent most evenings together just talking and catching up, had a few more drinks than is on the plan but that was ok for me as i knew we would and it was also kept to moderation. I didnt touch a drop during the day, which is my weakness at times, so that made me feel very positive as well. Alas he has gone back today so i have to keep up this positive spirit i have right now, cos the moment i let go of it, boom back to square one. Work has been productive this week too, happy clients all around :D Still have a s...t load to do this weekend, so need to keep focused and distract myself from giving in.

How's business with you going?
Tessa <:)>
Life is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes then steal your dreams..

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Jan » 15 Mar 2008 11:22

Hi Tessa,
I am so glad you are feeling more positive and that the clients are happy. That's the way to go! Keep it up. My business is OK. I had thought that I might have to pack it in and get a proper job but its back on track. Just gotta keep it that way now.
Love Jan

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Re: Getting To Grips With Reality

Post by Anna » 15 Mar 2008 11:23

I think this is the ' pre recovery', went into the bushes and it turned out to be a very big ,gloomy wood and am now lost in it, thread.

Jan, I really appreciate the encouragement but I'm just going to stay here for a bit....I think my right kidney dropped off..doctor says its not my rib!
Must go and get food for tonight...the kudzu is a good idea though. I never did get any.
Love,
Anna.x

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