The Road to Abstinence - Archived

[Ladysnoops]

Ace, Sending hugs and kisses all the way from Virginia

Linda

[AceGricer]

Virginia
Thank you.I have been greatly encouraged by the helpful support I have received here today.
Kind Regards
Neil

[AceGricer]

Linda
Sorry , mind a bit off course there.All the way from Virginia!Well we are certainly some miles apart.It was kind of you to contact me.
Bye for Now
Neil

[Denise1973]

Sending you big Neil

And for having such a positive attitude. It is very admirable. My Daughter is the same age as your son was. I should maintain a similar attitude as yours because my daughter deserves better than she has seen me in the past. Im very fortunate to have her.

Thankyou for reminding me.

[Tink]

Neil
Your life is a living memorial to your son. What a wonderful tribute to him. You are showing others what can be achieved. Giving courage to others and have turned a tragedy into something that helps and inspires others. Giving hope. Thank you mate for sharing with us. I have learned much from that and appreciate all the gifts I have far more because of the lessons you give.

Tink

[64Turtles]

Ace

I can only imagine the grief it brings to bury a child. It is not in the natural order of things that this should happen but in this world it does. I have 2 sons and have thought before what if....... and sadness comes. I can say I feel like Tink said prior. Make the goal of your life to be an example for others that can find hope by your example. By giving it purpose you may find courage to face the days with better peace of mind. I am glad you are talking about this and sharing. Please continue to do so.

[chicken dipper]

Neil
From one who knows xx

[AceGricer]

Good Morning All
I want to thank each and every one of you for your kindness and much appreciated support.
Ace

[thewho]

how you doing ace? up to much today?

[nettii]

Hi Ace

Wel, I've just posted a reply to you under the SOS after your lovely supportive post to me. I come over here and have read about the anniversary of your son and feel rather humbled. You manage to support others when you are remembering the most unimaginable nightmare any parent can face. You deserve much happiness.

[64Turtles]

Hi Space,
Your first name by chance wouldn't be 'my' would it? hehe. I have found good nutrition is part of a soild foundation to being all round healthy of course but for us alcoholics it seems (in my opinion) dire. Why ? I can not explain as I am a simpleton. I have found that to much soda or coffee or tea(caffinated) can get the committee in my head roused in a bad way. I have also found when I am hungry, tired , or irritated this can spell recipe for disaster as well. Just what I have noticed in my time trying to stay sober. I have tried various vitamins and so far as I can tell it is an individual result. I had no luck with St. Johns wort but others report a good success. I belive for me the diet in general has been key for me. No take away and junk foods. I have given up tobacco and that was worse than stopping alcohol(in my humble opinion). For various reasons much to do with the fact we are all different you will have to carve out what works for you. The sad part is this can be time consuming with loads of trial and errrrrrror. It can be daunting and discouraging but if we really want success we look at this as an adventure, scavenger hunt, or simply a mystery we and only we can solve because no one can be us. There is a vitamin thread under the physical and mental thread. I would say there is where much deeper guru's will be found on the subject of "high octane fuels" for the body. Best wishes and hope to see you round and all spicy and spunky

[AceGricer]

Netti
Thank you for your kind message. This is where I hang out with other folk trying for complete abstinence.
Take Care
Ace

[AceGricer]

The Who
Hiya, yes a good day today. Blue sky and all day sun for a start which is always pleasant.Took a bus across the Tamar to Plymouth. Shopping M and S. A church service and then coffee. Back here this afternoon then all the usual stuff. Laundry, cooking etc.
I'm feeling good and still absolutely no Vino Collapso. Nor will there be.
Ace

[64Turtles]

Dear Space,
I can only sympathize as that is very difficult to be so allergic but it seems you have the right ideas to stay away from alcohol as it causes so very many additional negative effects. My best friend is very sensitive to many things and he has to be very careful with his diet(which he isn't) and it causes him bad side effects. He is one who gave decided to quit drinking 15 yrs ago and did it that easy but has struggled to find a workable program/diet that is consistent. I said that to say this. He found a homiopathic (sp?) doctor which has been a help to give him direction in feeling better by manipulating diet and supplements. Someone like you with a complex issue and being so sensitive you may want to seek some expertise away from modern medicine.

I like modern but I am also a bit of a gypsy as well. A 'little eye of newt' can be good on occasion

[fiz]

Hiya Chirpy,

It's good to see you back on the boards and great to see you doing so well, congratulations with the new job. Big well done to your abstinence.

[thewho]

chirpy

great to see you back again, and to hear that the new job is going well!!

thewho

[Sheila]

Really good to hear from you Chirpy so pleased your new job is going well

[Nomore4me]

Chirpy,

I have also found myself a new job, which after training i will start in March. I can so relate to your post totally. I am a bit worried about working and doing it sober. I know i can't go back to my usual crutch after work to relax, but that was how i used to do it.

I'd love to hear some ideas from you to help me remain sober, i have got it in my head to abstain so i think i may just be getting apprehensive about starting work again. But any ideas would be very much appreciated!

I'm hoping i will fine, and can deal with it like you. You sound so positive it's lovely to read your post. I think i may hang around this thread too!. . . . .


Welcome back. . .


's to all x x

[Sandy]

Nomore4me
congratulations on the new job.
You have done so well so far and this new job is just another step in creating a new you. Sieze the opportunity and run with it... it is going to be marvellous...ok maybe a tad stressful at first but you can do this. Bringing out the old crutch of yours ( that is now gathering dust) at the end of a working day well think about it..really think about it...is that going to help your next days performance?, would drinking at night give you a clear head to ruminate and reflect on what you have learned (good and bad)?
"but that was how i used to do it"
Not any more nomore,not any more.
Neal spoke to me recently about positive thoughts and trying to change our mindsets and it really worked for me.
Why not sit for a while and consider all the good things this new job is going to bring you, list them all down from financial rewards, to the opportunity to meet new people, to the confidence it could bring you etc etc..now list how drinking or bringing out that old crutch would do to you...anxiety,hangover.misery,underperformance......
Go on try it make two lists
let us know how it goes
I am sure you are just feeling some anxiety about it all...turn it around..keep telling yourself the feeling is not anxiety..it is excitement at what lies ahead and it is going to bring you so much pleasure
Good luck nomore you can do this..damn you can not only do this (without your old crutch)...you are going to excell at it!!!
Sandy
Chirpy so good to see you around

[Nomore4me]

Sandy,

Thank you so much. . . . .

I was begining to feel like i was on a one way ticket to disaster. I couldn't get my head round why i was so consumed with the thought of ' how am i going to cope without my old crutch ' it was a regular pattern to relax instantly after a hectic day at work. I have realised, thanks to your post that i AM confusing fear and excitement, and being on the negative side i automatically became frightened of falling down, which is also what i used to do a lot of! Some fear is recognised by me as a healthy fear, it stops me from doing dangerous things and is a feeling i need to listen to, to survive. I have been listening to unhealthy fears, like ' what will i do when that happens, or what will i do in that situation ' and because i couldn't shake it off i posted on here, Chirpy's post made me address my fears ( Thank you too Chirpy. . . . ) I am excited at the thought of what this job can bring into my life now, i so wished i had a job when i was out of work and know i am very lucky to have found work again. I think for me, excitement usually turns into a huge let down, i don't believe enough in myself to think i can do this. . . .BUT. . . . I will be 5 months sober when i begin working, and that is so precious an acheivement to me, that i don't want to give it up EVER.

So again i would like to say Thank You to Chirpy, for making me face my fears and look for support, and Thank You, to you too Sandy for guiding me in the right direction and helping me to realizing how i was setting myself up for a fall, just by giving my unhealthy fears two seconds of my time, was too much time to waste on them.

My head is back to looking forward, without fear of falling down, and with a lot more understanding of why and what has happened with me. As you may know, drinking for me is NOT an option, but NOT drinking is an opportunity to live my life and as you so nicely put it. . . . .excell. Thank you x

BIG HUGS TO YOU SANDY. . . .