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The Joke Page

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Naughty little newt
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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 16 Jan 2019 20:13

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Iroquois » 16 Jan 2019 21:29

Is that an Undecided, then?

Be very GLAD!

You could have had Steve Bannon as your new PM!!!!!!!

Or do you have to be a UK citizen? We have that pesky little rule!
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 17 Jan 2019 05:21

I'm not allowed to decide Deanna :lol:


I can't vote in the country I was born in because I don't live there anymore, I can't vote in the country I live in because I wasn't born there! So when you think about it I don't live in a democracy, how can I, I'm not allowed to have a voice, except for one very loud laugh which is all I need to get me through the day ;)

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Iroquois » 17 Jan 2019 12:22

No voting booths in the Pond, huh? No Kings, no Queens, no Ifs. Ands or Buts, eh?

Butts?

Here, everyone and their brother can vote as long as you are not black, brown, yellowish, have a blue mole on your right hip . . . and if you do, you must present a Mole Voter ID complete with street address, No. of sq. ft. at said address, and the color of the paint that was applied in 1949!

Well, that's pretty much in the South and Krazy Kansas! Then North Dakota had a population of 8 until they discovered Black Gold, and now it is a crazy, wind swept mass of Frigid Frackers and all the societal problems that go with that!

And all the Rural Reds are just a bunch of gun slingers, enough said! :o :( ;)
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 19 Jan 2019 08:43

I guess this one is aimed at John Cleese :?



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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 19 Jan 2019 19:02

The Times from two years ago,


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At least Vladimir got something right! :D

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Pork » 20 Jan 2019 08:25

🍆
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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Iroquois » 20 Jan 2019 18:40

Boy, old Theresa was stepping lively two years ago! She is a little more subdued as of late! :(

Not sure which story catches the eye more, though! "Russian sex workers are the World's best, boasts Putin!"

Makes Nigel Farage grin like someone that just might indulge!

If we don't laugh, we might just cry until we die! :lol2: :lol:
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Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 25 Jan 2019 16:12

♬You picked a fine time to leave me...…




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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 07 Feb 2019 18:02

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?



Two, one to change the lightbulb and the other to hold his penis, LADDER, I meant ladder! :shock:

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Jjjj of Old » 08 Feb 2019 08:00

*ADVANCE WARNING OF MILD RUDENESS*

Newt, when I was a teenager, my mate Dave always referred to mistakes like that as Freudian clits... I mean slips!

:oops: :lol:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me."
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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 08 Feb 2019 15:58

:lol:

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 09 Feb 2019 10:12

The thing is this isn't a joke, needless to say this 1990's anti-drug message wasn't well thought out and the pencils were withdrawn :lol:


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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Jjjj of Old » 09 Feb 2019 10:24

:lol: :lol: (::)

It all turned out ok in the end, though, Newt, when they ended up as adverts for Carpetright :D

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"Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 09 Feb 2019 10:31

:lol: (::)

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by fiz » 09 Feb 2019 16:43

Haha :lol2: those pencils are great. I bet the kids sussed that out in seconds. :lol:
Bet carpetright we’re well chuffed with that campaign ;)? :lol:
Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 13 Feb 2019 17:46

Wondering if global warming is real? Well here's your proof!



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Notice the gap between 1990 and the Global Warming Solutions act of 2006, coincidence? I don't think so ;)

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Jjjj of Old » 13 Feb 2019 18:51

:lol: :lol: (::)
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Naughty little newt » 17 Feb 2019 09:20

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Re: The Joke Page

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 18 Feb 2019 01:15

That's disgusting newtie, I'd send Mary Whitehouse to see you but she's dead.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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