Just want to share.

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Mark.
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Mark. »

<:)> <:)> D!
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
~ Marianne Faithfull

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DannyD
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by DannyD »

WhatsApp chat with my girls. The youngest is slightly superior having had 2 children on gas and air. I didn't dare tell them I was slightly looking forward to the buzz of a drug!!

Pickles they might want to keep me in, I don't want to be kept.

Thanks SB. I hadn't realised I might pass out afterwards.

Gas and air it will be then.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Rachel
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Rachel »

Danny might your neighbour look in on the dog, or does it not work like that with dogs...?

I've had to do both mother and husband sitting post procedures...

I do hope you find a solution. And that it goes ok. <:)>
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Luna_
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Luna_ »

Danny - just masses of these from me <:)> <:)> <:)>
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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DannyD
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by DannyD »

Thanks people. Just another day. I'll laugh at my today self tomorrow.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Topcat
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Topcat »

Good luck Danny <:)> <:)>
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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DannyD
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by DannyD »

Thank you everyone. All done. Not very comfortable, but all done
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mark.
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Mark. »

DannyD wrote:
03 Dec 2020 16:56
Thank you everyone. All done. Not very comfortable, but all done
<:)> <:)> Good stuff, D! Have as restful an evening as possible and I hope you feel ok in the morning ;)? <:)>
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
~ Marianne Faithfull

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Topcat
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Topcat »

Well done Danny <:)>
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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DannyD
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by DannyD »

Today I was filling in a medical form: how much do you smoke? None. How much do you drink? Too much. I don't think it was the right answer, but it made the nurse laugh.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Topcat
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Topcat »

:lol:
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Rachel
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Rachel »

Very glad you survived, Danny!
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SoberBoots
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by SoberBoots »

Pleased you're OK Danny. Hope there's nothing more to worry about.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Mark.
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Mark. »

DannyD wrote:
03 Dec 2020 19:14
Today I was filling in a medical form: how much do you smoke? None. How much do you drink? Too much. I don't think it was the right answer, but it made the nurse laugh.
Makes me laugh too! :lol:
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
~ Marianne Faithfull

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Lush4life
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Lush4life »

Morning all :\:
Like many here maybe I learned yesterday our area is now in tier 4 in regards to COVID restrictions :(
This year more than most it hurts like hell to realise this, my husband and I are going through a very tough divorce ( still living together while we try to sell our house , that’s been our home for 34 years)
Our plan was to spend Christmas Day all together with our kids, our grandchildren I was so looking forward to/ hanging on to this light, in what’s been a very dark lonely tunnel. Obviously that cannot now happen, so somehow we have to make something of the day ( not least for our youngest girl who’s 20 , bless her, she’s lived with us throughout all our awful rows, seen me fall apart so many times, observing also her dads dark, moody drinking)
Because our house chain broke at the last minute we’ve sold many things, even sold my fridge, dishwasher, lots of stuff, our beautiful lounge now resembles a packing warehouse, no beautiful Christmas tree resides there as it normally would, no cherished years old Christmas ornaments , nothing nada, we just couldn’t really do Christmas here, that’s why, all of us not just me were so needing to connect, be together with our loving family.
How to cope on the day and days to follow, and try to make this something for our girl / ourselves even?
He says it will be fine we cope, but trouble is he’s caused me so much hurt, told many lies, so many things he’s done to hurt me, my resentment, anger is not far below the surface, I want to explode ( I rarely do, but yeah our rows can be huge, damaging for myself, my lovely girl, not least when he’s drinking and starts his usual snide remarks , seeking me out to verbally abuse)
I’m gonna have to dig deep try to be cheerful, try to find something to make this day and days to come somehow smoother. We have become like the song “Passing strangers” ( hard thing is I still have a part of me that
has feelings for him, think I always will , been together since I was 15, be easier if those feelings were replaced with hate, but I don’t have it in me to feel this, wish I did .
The answer then my friends “ is blowing in the wind” oh to be a kite, I could capture and harness it :roll:
Am ok, just I needed so needed to get my feelings out, I know there are many in same situation and much worse than mine, maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised and the day will be ok, everything normally works out in the end they say.
But whatever your Christmas holds I’m wishing you all a happy/ healthy one x
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
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Pink Panther
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Pink Panther »

Lushy <:)> <:)> wow...what a year you have and continue to have.

Very difficult for me to be nothing other than hopeful for you as on the outside, all I can see is that there is good to come. If you are in a relationship where trust has broken down, where there have been lies, where alcohol is also likely to cause ongoing issues too (his side) then, it looks like this is the right decision as hard as it may all be. You have been through all of the questioning, trying stages no doubt and breakup is of course the final stage. Age and time are just numbers, its how you feel inside that counts and it would seem that non of this is bringing you happiness, regardless of how long you have been together.

This is now about you and your daughter/other family members and making sure things are as amicable as possible until the house sale goes through again.....its amazing what positives can come from stressful situations and how things can change over the course of time. By no means suggesting any of this is easy in any way, all of those years comes with memories, stability of a kind etc...but this is your story so there is only one way to go once a certain point is reached through the process and that is forward.

You are coming up to a marvellous milestone, never forget how strong you have been for tackling your own drink problem and dealing with all of this by staying stronger than you perhaps realise. You are right, this year has been a game changer for many but we all need to keep on going, facing forwards for a better 2021....your time will come where you are settled again so keep riding the storm and have faith, believe in that.

Not sure what you can get hold of for Christmas Day to try and make it as festive and fun as possible but it sure seems you haven’t given up and I hope you still have your microwave....this could save the day in some small form :?: .

Glad you have the forum as an outlet....try and let go of the anger and resentment....easier said than done but if holding onto these feelings isn’t ever going to change a thing about your situation for the better, then it will serve you well to concentrate on positive vibes which you clearly still have and the dreams of what your own future may hold. Be proud of yourself lovely <:)> <:)>

I am keeping everything crossed for you and wishing you the most of the festive week ahead ;)? <:)>
Love yourself and be proud of the steps you take to overcome addiction....peace is at the tip of our fingers <:)>

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Lush4life
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Lush4life »

Pink Panther wrote:
20 Dec 2020 07:09
Lushy <:)> <:)> wow...what a year you have and continue to have.

Very difficult for me to be nothing other than hopeful for you as on the outside, all I can see is that there is good to come. If you are in a relationship where trust has broken down, where there have been lies, where alcohol is also likely to cause ongoing issues too (his side) then, it looks like this is the right decision as hard as it may all be. You have been through all of the questioning, trying stages no doubt and breakup is of course the final stage. Age and time are just numbers, its how you feel inside that counts and it would seem that non of this is bringing you happiness, regardless of how long you have been together.

This is now about you and your daughter/other family members and making sure things are as amicable as possible until the house sale goes through again.....its amazing what positives can come from stressful situations and how things can change over the course of time. By no means suggesting any of this is easy in any way, all of those years comes with memories, stability of a kind etc...but this is your story so there is only one way to go once a certain point is reached through the process and that is forward.

You are coming up to a marvellous milestone, never forget how strong you have been for tackling your own drink problem and dealing with all of this by staying stronger than you perhaps realise. You are right, this year has been a game changer for many but we all need to keep on going, facing forwards for a better 2021....your time will come where you are settled again so keep riding the storm and have faith, believe in that.

Not sure what you can get hold of for Christmas Day to try and make it as festive and fun as possible but it sure seems you haven’t given up and I hope you still have your microwave....this could save the day in some small form :?: .

Glad you have the forum as an outlet....try and let go of the anger and resentment....easier said than done but if holding onto these feelings isn’t ever going to change a thing about your situation for the better, then it will serve you well to concentrate on positive vibes which you clearly still have and the dreams of what your own future may hold. Be proud of yourself lovely <:)> <:)>

I am keeping everything crossed for you and wishing you the most of the festive week ahead ;)? <:)>
Thank you my lovely forum friend, in the last hour , my sister ( bereaved in this first lockdown after a 50 year marriage) has asked then would I like to stay with her as now she lives alone, she was so looking forward to seeing her family too, but like many now this has been denied. I have spoken to my girl about this she says go mum, I worry less if you’re not here when her dad drinking as he seems to seek me out, I know she’s right , I guess I will go then. But it breaks me to go; it breaks me stay . I feel I’m just walking away from my girl leaving her to it, though am fairly sure her father will be fine with her, he loves her very much, as she does him , I’m glad about this, he’s been a good dad, was my all my everything, until he chose not to be .Both my girls say this; “ we love dad, mum, what we don’t love, is his treatment of you”.
Thank you for responding , much love x
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And rent is due Every day.

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Pink Panther
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Pink Panther »

This sounds certainly sounds like a plan that may serve you and your daughter well and great that she is happy for you to do so <:)>

In the circumstances that you are in, it is vital you look after your mental health and if staying with your sister is the better, most peaceful option for all, then perhaps this is a good thing. Sorry to hear about your sister’s loss.....so much to deal with, you may just do each other the world of good at this time. <:)>

Your daughter sounds like she is level headed and going to be just fine, as you say, his issues seem to be with you and relationships with kids can be a lot different to partners, so you going could be a temporary fix to this current situation you find yourself in. Remember it is one year, next year is likely to be a lot different for you so hold onto that hope and faith <:)>
Love yourself and be proud of the steps you take to overcome addiction....peace is at the tip of our fingers <:)>

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SoberBoots
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by SoberBoots »

Lushie <:)>

So tough.

I'm sure it would be alovely thing for your sister if you went to stay with her, and knowing you're doing that might ease some of the sting for you? Maybe you could think about some silly things you used to to do or eat at Christmas as children, and resurrect those? Or think of the kind of grown up treats you might like, some luxuries, or just do something different? My parents' preferred way to spend Christmas was by going to watch the outdoor ballroom dancing on the seafront, and then have egg and chips for their meal. I like to spend Christmas morning on the coast watching the seal pups, and then share a meal with friends in the evening - there'll obviously be fewer friends this year but that's OK. It's strange to give up the familiar habit of a relationship, even one that's gone bad, and new things feel strange (bit like stopping drinking, and making a life without it) but it's at least as much opportunity as loss.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Winkler »

So pleased to hear your sister has asked you to stay with her Lushie, sounds like the perfect temporary solution.
It sounds as though your daughter will indeed be fine.
Hope your house chain gets moving again soon xx
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

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