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Just want to share.

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Mark.
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Mark. » 25 Oct 2019 11:17

Lush4life wrote:
25 Oct 2019 11:11
Morning, sad, momentous day for me.
I just ended 43 years of marriage, no other way to say this, 4 kids, 8 grandchildren have been the wonderful part to come out of this.
Am fairly heartbroken , even though was my decision, its been happy, fun, horrible, lonely,and at times wonderful.
I thought in getting sober things would improve; they haven't maybe got worse?
Maybe he doesn't like the me I've now become, I don't know?
I don't know anything anymore it feels like that.
What I do know is these last few months I've so wanted to drink, smoke, anything to escape my reality.
I can't do that obviously but its tough, so that's why I'm sharing this here, not to air my dirty linen or put down the man I've loved since ages 15 no, but to help me get through this, to stay strong to believe I can get through
I can't type anymore I'm sorry.
<:)> <:)> <:)> to you, Kim. I know from what you've written previously that you have worked so hard to try to make things work, and that this will be, as you say, a momentous event in your life.

I hope the change doesn't feel too hard, and I wish you a very bright and happy future once things settle a bit <:)> <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Trojan
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Trojan » 25 Oct 2019 11:28

Wishing you well for the time ahead, Kim <:)>
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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Rachel
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Rachel » 25 Oct 2019 11:29

Kim <:)> <:)> <:)> I am so sorry.
Rachel

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free flow
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by free flow » 25 Oct 2019 12:39

Hi Kim, Sometimes it is hard to make the change we know is necessary. I wish you all the best for your future.

<:)> <:)> <:)>

J/
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are. - Carl Jung

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Topcat
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Topcat » 25 Oct 2019 13:02

Kim - my heart goes out to you lovely <:)> It's so sad when a relationship breaks down, but it does happen. I hope you can move on now. When we stop drinking, sometimes our relationships do not come through it so well (mine didn't). He hadn't changed at all, but I had and, although we still cared a lot about each other, we could no longer live together.
Lush4life wrote:
25 Oct 2019 11:11
last few months I've so wanted to drink, smoke, anything to escape my reality.
I can't do that obviously but its tough, so that's why I'm sharing this here, not to air my dirty linen or put down the man I've loved since ages 15 no, but to help me get through this, to stay strong to believe I can get through


Understandable that you want to escape, but well done for not reaching for the bottle <:)>

Stick with us Kim and feel free to rant, rave or just let it out whenever you wish <:)>
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Cowboy
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Cowboy » 25 Oct 2019 13:09

I'm with TC here Lush. It's better to talk about this kind of stuff than keep it all in. I hope your kids are all OK. Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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pickles
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by pickles » 25 Oct 2019 13:52

So sorry to read this,Lush <:)>
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Lush4life
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Lush4life » 25 Oct 2019 14:44

Many thanks for kind responses, it helps just to be here read a little, just connect with those that understand the pitfulls that, if am not careful, could await me.
My kids Cowboy, are fully behind my decision, they all want to see us happy and can truly say my husbands response only tells me I made the right decision.
Am bit all over the show ATM . :|
Sandpoint, thank you my friend, yes I love/ need always to laugh, try never to take myself too seriously.
Thank you once again, I appreciate your support.
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Bluebottle » 26 Oct 2019 01:09

So sorry to hear this Kim. <:)> <:)> <:)> Hope you manage to stay friends, I really can't imagine being with someone for such a long time, it must be devastating.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)
307/59 days - 2019/2020

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SoberBoots
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by SoberBoots » 26 Oct 2019 09:14

Kim, I'm so sorry you're in pain <:)> From everything you've written it sounds like the right thing - but that doesn't make it easy. And from my own experience of unhappy relationships I know how much we invest in keeping things going, how the good things keep us hooked, how we brush over the bad stuff, how we avoid tackling the problems. Dismantling it is very difficult and there's lots of internal conflict. I realise now that I put up with a lot because my partner "allowed" me to drink, as I saw it then. My last longterm relationship broke up when I did a year sober - my thinking got a lot clearer! I could no longer be in denial about alcohol, or about anything else. I think ending a relationship that's so long standing as yours is a form of bereavement, and like that situation there's terrible pain that you have to work through to heal. I can tell that you are much loved in real life and you certainly are on here. Please write away whenever you feel like it, we're all here for you. And do remember to keep up with all your self care, it's easy to let that slip.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Lush4life
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Lush4life » 26 Oct 2019 09:56

Thanks to all who have replied (on phone, can't scroll back)
Sally (SB) indeed it feels very much like a bereavement, absolutely it does, am grieving for all that we had (the us) and grieving for what, now will never be, I married with intentions of it being for life, was still at school when we met.
And now we're both getting older, needing, wanting that love, respect and care , its sadly not there.
The pain I'm feeling at the moment feels like self harm, it does and I say this because I've brought it upon myself, I have, we could have gone on in this unhappy cycle I guess for ever, but its not right to just survive and not thrive within a relationship.
Our kids all agreed, its time, they will all help in anyway they can, picking, pulling apart our lives together is going to be so very, very hard, both emotionally and physically , we've been in this lovely big ole family home for 33 years, I gaze out the back window in my minds eye still can see the kids playing, splashing about in the padling pool, climbing on the frame they had, and yes can still see me and Dave laughing and loving each other.
Its not a waste, I can't see it that way, not when we've successfully brought up 4 really great kids, who all have a good future; together we did that, did something right.
I'm just rambling now, thank you for letting me.

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Pork
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Pork » 26 Oct 2019 10:00

Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.

Keep on Lushie 👍😎

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Shadowlad
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Shadowlad » 26 Oct 2019 13:42

<:)> <:)> Kim <:)> <:)>
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

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Re: Just want to share.

Post by martha » 26 Oct 2019 15:35

Kim, just wanted to add <:)> from me too. I'm sorry it's so painful. It sounds as if things were once wonderful, and you have raised an amazing little family. Definitely not a waste at all. Take care xx <:)>
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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Sheila
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Sheila » 26 Oct 2019 17:06

More hugs from me too Kim <:)> <:)> <:)>
I hope in time everything will settle down for you and that you'll find happiness again <:)>
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I will not drink again no matter what.

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Pork
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Pork » 26 Oct 2019 18:46

I love you guys <:)>

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Leslans
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Leslans » 26 Oct 2019 19:08

I hope you are ok this evening Lushie. Such a sad time. Your BE friends will always be here to support you <:)>
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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Tai
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Tai » 26 Oct 2019 19:58

Sad time indeed Kim <:)> starting a new chapter must feel so daunting in some ways especially with such a lot of history with your ex, and of course you your raised children together which hopefully means lots of happy memories along the way. Grieving is exactly how I’d describe it, not just for what was, but for how you wished it might still be if things were different. Lots of emotions in with that sadness I bet. I hope you’re doing OK <:)> .
A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
Khalil Gibran

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Pork
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Re: Just want to share.

Post by Pork » 02 Nov 2019 22:08

Goodnight 💤

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Re: Just want to share.

Post by martha » 02 Nov 2019 22:11

Night Pork!
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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