SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL - 2008

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Liquid Child
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Liquid Child »

Hi Janette,

It sounds like your playing on the excuse that when things go pear shaped you threaten to have a drink and you've probably done this before as a way of getting attention, I don't know and I mean it in the most nicest way. I think drinking acts as a coping mechanism in so many ways even if we don't intend to drink. The drink dulled your senses before which is why you didn't get so worked up about things like loosing your temper, for many it happens the other way around. Either way if you've still not drank this weekend you are doing so well with withdrawing, things are sure to get clearer and improve as all the psychological effects begin to wear off. Calm down and think logically, make a bite to eat or do something anything to relax for just long enough to realise that pretty soon you'll feel totally different and see all things in a different light and things will for sure get better. What ever you argued about please don't throw the booze into the equation when your in this frame of mind it will only fuel things into the wrong direction. We're all here of course for you any time despite the time difference you know that. Did you get my reply to your PM about the tech info on the site? Stay strong and stick with things, you've gone through so much stuff a lot worse and came out on top. I think you answered you own question as you asked it. Perhaps the way you've described things in your post is the way you could calmly explain things to your husband when things have settled down a bit?

Glenn xxx

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queenie
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by queenie »

hi janette

i can't add much to what glenn has said - very sound advice. i suppose the answer to your question about temper is that we numb our feelings with alcohol so when it is taken out of the mix we are a bit shocked at how powerful those feelings are. hope you managed without the drink. hugs.

queenie
how many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change...

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hamster
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by hamster »

Hello Janette.

I cant add to Glenn and Queenie's replies except to say that you will go through an emotional rollar coaster for a while. You will be re-learning your feelings and how to deal with them following years of not having to feel anything apart from alcohol induced false feelings. This can be quite stressful at times and feel very uncomfortable. Stick with it though - its normal and it does get better.
You will learn. If you find it really tough dont go for the bottle - think about counselling. It helped me.

Hammy
x
AF2011 number 10

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themolesmother
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by themolesmother »

Hi all,

Oncologist's appointment and chemo today. Goodish news in that the tumour markers in my blood have gone down so the new chemo is working at the moment. Another talk with the psychologist which helped a bit although I am finding myself frustrated with being unable to express myself in French the way I would like.

Asked the Dr for something to help me sleep and was prescribed Xanax. Was horrified when I checked info about this drug on the internet. I'm already on ADs so the last thing I want is more "happy pills" on top of them. I've decided not to take them and to talk to the onc again when I see her in a fortnight.

MM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step

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patty
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by patty »

Hi MM,

so glad to see that things are looking 'goodish' at the moment you deserve it and hopefully will go from strength to strength, think about you lots, youre amazing.

Love patty xx <:)>

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Lush
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Lush »

Hiya MM,

Fantastic that the tumour markers have gone down and the chemo's working <:)>

I' think I'd give the Xanax a swerve too, the side effects along with anti-depressants could be too much, especially as apparently one of the side effects of Xanax is, conversely, sleep disturbance. Not sure what else you could try, as I'm not a big fan of herbal remedies at the moment after looking at some of the side effects and contra-indications on some of them that the supermarkets never seem to tell yout about.

Susie
xx
"I love the English language, it has a certain je ne sais qoi".

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queenie
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by queenie »

great news mm - big hugs! so pleased things are going well for you.

susie - you are right about herbal stuff - we always assume that it is not as strong but i have a friend whose brother works in pharmaceuticals and he said a lot of herbal stuff is actually stronger than the 'mainstream' drugs. i certainly found when i came off st johns wort i had massive mood disturbance to the point where my uncontrollable crying at work scared my colleagues!
how many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change...

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Lush
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Lush »

Hiya queenie <:)>

I started a thread about Kudzu in the Physical and Mental Health forum because I was so concerned about some of the contra-indications. I've always had an interest in herbal/complementary/alternative therapies but there are far too many available now without any proper regulations or advice being given. I tried St John's Wort years ago and it made me feel really aggressive, which is not me at all! :o

Susie
xx
"I love the English language, it has a certain je ne sais qoi".

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themolesmother
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by themolesmother »

Thanks patty, susie and queenie. I feel cautiously optimistic about the fall in markers but having been knocked back quite a few times I'll save the jumping up and down and screaming in delight for when they actually drop to safe levels.

I was a bit WTH? about the Xanax. I was hoping to get some kind of sleeping tablet I could take only when needed. My sleepless nights happen maybe once a fortnight on average and more frequently when I'm facing a scan or milestone test like this time. I don't think I need a major mood altering drug to deal with that.

MM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step

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Sally Cinnamon
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Sally Cinnamon »

Struggling tonight. Spent over three hours on the phone tonight to Sky (goddamn tv people from hell!) and by the end of it I was more stressed than I've been in a long time. Kept thinking about a nice glass of rosé (or ten) and curling up on the settee.

Deliberately stopped looking at the clock til after 9pm so I can't ask Ju to run down... feeling so thirsty and a bit morose - but glad I didn't collapse this time. Only day three and I'm struggling? Managed til day five last time.

But! I've done it. I've sworn I shan't touch his beer either - which is tempting, but I won't.

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patty
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by patty »

Hi sally,

Well done to you, ringing sky has to be about 10 on the stress scale!! but hey you did it, you will feel great in the morning :D

Love patty xx <:)>

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Sally Cinnamon
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Sally Cinnamon »

haha indeed.

I'm now sat with a freezing cold can of diet coke, am playing a game of online poker! then I shall hop off to bed like a good girlie ready to roast the plumber in the morning for not bothering to come today :twisted: :D

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patty
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by patty »

Hi queenie,

was just wondering how you husband is doing??? and how you are holding up??

Love patty xx <:)>

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queenie
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by queenie »

hi patty

he is doing well so far - thank you for thinking of us. he is going twice a week to london now which is a bit easier. good to hear things are ok for you too.

Q
how many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change...

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chrissie
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by chrissie »

Hi guys

Good news mm - take it easy today and stay under the duvet. I think you're right to avoid the Xanax. Try a few drop of lavender oil on your pillow, that helps with sleep (and no nasty side effects).

I am feeling a lot better today, having had a 'dip' day yesterday. I really don't know why I can' make the connection in my brain that drinking makes me depressed and when I don't drink I feel good. Why is that so hard to remember !????????

Janette - I relate to what you said. When I first stopped drinking I felt worse for the first two or three weeks, moods all over the place. It was my system getting used to the lack of alcohol. Still with it, just keep thinking to yourself it can only get better, this is the worst it's going to be.

Chrissie xx
one day at a time

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2XS
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by 2XS »

Hi Chrissie,
thanks for making me laugh!!...
I've just had a big 'dip' after a 2 week abstinance, my brain failed to make the connection last night too. Still it helps to know people on here are aware of the consequenses and with that in mind I intend to start afresh today. Nice 1 for the humour..
:lol:
2XS
Bombshells- How to survive using the emotional umbrella technique

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2XS
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by 2XS »

Chrissie,
forgot to mention .... apologies if the humour was unintentional, but I was grabbed by the statement 'Why is it so hard to remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Hope you feel good today too!
2XS
Bombshells- How to survive using the emotional umbrella technique

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Anna
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Anna »

MM, I 'm so glad things are going in the right direction... <:)>
It's annoying when sleep is disturbed though.
I really don't know what to suggest though I do find coffee and tea much more potent when not drinking...all the 'uppers' and no 'downers' maybe.

chrissie wrote:drinking makes me depressed and when I don't drink I feel good. Why is that so hard to remember !????????
:roll: ...I think I need that tatoo-ed on my forehead sometimes!

Hi Queenie, It's great that OH is doing well. Is he more of a support to you now or still needing lots of care?
I had no idea about the St-Johns Wort. I bought some the other day because there a was a 3 for 2 at Boots...the last thing i need is to start crying!

<:)> 's,
Anna.xx

Janette
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Janette »

I would like to say that I am sorry for not responding to others on BE as you have responded to me. This will sound like an excuse but honestly it is not. A few times I tried to respond to posts only to forget what you had written. I just realized that I can scroll down and read all of your posts. lol. This is something new to me. The few boards I have joined, when you reply just that post shows up. (hope you can understand what I mean) Boy do I feel foolish. Anyway, I will try to do better. Another thing is I don't understand alot of the "lingo" alot of you use. Except of coarse for the alcohol and drugs. So....

Hi MM, happy things are getting better. About the Xanax, I was on it for a few years, its highly addictive. (what isn't) but couldn't you take it as needed and not everyday? Maybe that would work for you. Just a thought.

And to the rest of you again, I will try to be more in touch with you. But now, I must break away from this computer for a while and get chores done.

Thanks again, Janette
Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead.

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Kitty
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Re: SUPPORT/CHAT/GENERAL November 2008

Post by Kitty »

Hi Janette,
This is a bit of a rushed reply, I'm at work and need to get on with things but I could not resist saying hi.
When I joined the forum I found it really hard to keep up with what was going on and reply to all posts. I still do actually. I think everyone comes to realise that it is impossible to do so sometimes.
When you post though the post should show up - check that you have got it set to the right order so that you can see most recent posts first. I'm terrible at explaining this stuff, someone else would be better.

With regards to the lingo, please feel free to send me a pm with anything you need clarifying. It's funny isn't it how we speak the same language but there are those differences.

right I must go now or I'll get the sack (fired)

Kitty XXX
"Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what's more than enough" Billie Holiday

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