Regrouping

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Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Messed up again tonight as there was some left in the bottle from last night :( . Once I have some it's inevitable it won't end at that. My OH asked for a box of wine (12 bottles) for his birthday in 3 weeks. It arrived and hidden but proving difficult as only I know its there so bottles can be replaced. I think he knows something is up about me drinking but don't know how to get rid of 9 out of 12 (now) bottles of wine. Perhaps i need to come clean. He wasn't being insensitive asking for that present l, it just came at a time I was struggling with my parents and also its 'hidden ' so no one will notice. (w) It's good to be completely honest with people on this thread and know you understand

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little acorn
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Re: Regrouping

Post by little acorn »

Hi Woodstock, if you don't mind me saying, if you can be open and honest then do. If you are able, I am sure you will find relief by doing that and you can go forward from there. big hugs xx
little acorn likes his water. I need to follow his lead.

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

I think you're right Acorn but when things were really bad 3 years ago I went through the cold shoulder etc and it really strained our relationship. I sort of think if he hasn't noticed can I just give him an early birthday present to get rid of the wine and move on. He just gets moody and goes in to himself. It's really difficult as trust has been restored and it took a good while. Abstinence was coasting until recent difficulties with parents, the stress and opportunity to drink to forget but I know this isn't the answer and not using it as an excuse.

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little acorn
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Re: Regrouping

Post by little acorn »

Hi Woodstock, you are right, you can be open on here which is such a positive and there is no judging. The hardest judges are often ourselves. It sounds like you know what will work which is more than half the battle. I am trying to get some "tools" together to try to combat the drink so I have just started Tapping; different things work for different people. I have also downloaded an app called Drink Free Days which I hope might help and also trying no drinking meditations. I just thought I'd mention these in case they might be of interest xx
little acorn likes his water. I need to follow his lead.

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Thanks Acorn. I replaced the missing bottles in the box and handed it over. I was expecting some comment so not sure if he didn't or did know? At the end of the day it's not hidden anymore so not a temptation and 'all' I have to do is get back on track (w)
How's everyone? I've really appreciated the support <:)>

Woodstock

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Well done Woodstock. Try not to worry about whether or not he knows. I’m about to start one of four night shifts. Yuk.

T xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

I used to have to do night shifts so feel for you Tadpole <:)>

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Thanks Woodstock.

First one actually wasn’t too bad. I usually find the first one the worst. Back again tonight. Had my second covid vaccination last night and my ‘procedure’ this afternoon. I Evan managed a fierce workout too. Actually feeling pretty good tonight. Nights always mean a break from the demon drink for me so they have their ‘up side’!

How’s everyone today? I feel like I’m sheepishly returning after so long.

T x

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

:\:
It's quiet on this thread. Just checking in. Managed last night and so far tonight AF. Really had to get a grip as it took me years of trying to get to the point I had. It can seem that you'll never beat the cycle of AF days then binges. The only reason I managed was a kick start from being ill and unable to leave home to get alcohol for two weeks. Went cold turkey mentally and physically. I knew and found out again recently that I could start drinking again and had to get into the mentality that 'I did not drink' . It was a hard and long process learning new ways to manage emotions and 'sit them out' rather than blanking them out with drinking. To be honest one of the most difficult things is when you really want to say &*$@# it and drink but you know if you do that hard path needs to be started again. The where can I get drink, how can I get more, how can I cover up how much I've had, where did I hide it, I can't remember last night etc etc ......
Right on the edge at the minute with family stress and flashbacks from the past.....I wish I could enjoy a glass of wine and that would be it but I know the floodgates open :roll:
Sorry just rambling to myself!
Hope everyone is ok and your nightshift is ok Tadpole.

Woodstock

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Rambling is important Woodstock. I also find it helpful to read others rambles. Kind of puts things into perspective. X


Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

You ok woodstock? X

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Just messed up again. Tomorrow is another day. Hope your night shift is ok.
Woodstock

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Go easy on yourself. <:)>

BizzyBee
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Re: Regrouping

Post by BizzyBee »

Hi guys,
I've had a full weekend of messing up. Drank Friday, Saturday and today.
Feeling weak, unhealthy and annoyed with myself.
Hoping to manage to be AF through the oncoming week. Not feeling so hopeful about the weekend but maybe I shouldn't look that far ahead.
Hope you're feeling better today Woodstock.
Hope you're OK too Tadpole.
Xx
Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything.

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Hey bizzy. You’re here though. I’m awake all night if needed. Again I feel like I’ve cheated the system as I’ve not drank in 4 days. Purely as I’ve been working nights. Look, I’ll tell you my tale tonight if I get a chance. You may remember I disappeared about 7 months ago after ‘marriage difficulties’. It’s been a roller coaster. The whole abstaining thing has also gone out of the window.

T xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Hi :\:
I messed up too. 3 days not AF and quite a bit drunk It's like a switch has been turned on. The cravings later in the day and then the once you start you keep going scenario.

I need to nip this in the bud. Aim like you BizzyBee is to get to the weekend.

Tadpole, sorry to hear about your roller coaster. It's emotional things that triggered me this time. When I was AF I developed different coping strategies. It was the intensity of what I had to face and the fact I was staying on my own in a hotel with alcohol available that got the better of me. Back home with my family now and need to get back on track.

Woodstock

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Hello all <:)>
I’m glad to see it’s busier. Well not glad people are drinking but you know what I mean.
Tad, what’s been occurring then? Are you still with the new man?
Bizzy it’s a new week and all that! And Woodstock hello I don’t think we’ve met!
I guess one reason I’ve stopped posting so much is that I don’t really do anything to talk about. But I’m quite happy in my own little lockdown world if I’m honest. I know everyone is desperate for normality but if my gym opened, I would be like a pig in you know what.
Still not drinking, so I think that’s nearly 4 months now. I can’t remember if I said so sorry if I’m repeating but I’ve had counselling every week for a while now. I got 8 sessions and this week is the last one which is a bit gutting but I’m not sure I can justify carrying on and paying privately.I dunno, I guess I’ll see how it goes.
My garden is my new interest. Trying to change a basically glorified yard with a bit of decking into something nice. But I’m quite enjoying it.
I shall try and post more regularly xx

BizzyBee
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Re: Regrouping

Post by BizzyBee »

Tadpole wrote:
21 Mar 2021 22:44
Hey bizzy. You’re here though. I’m awake all night if needed. Again I feel like I’ve cheated the system as I’ve not drank in 4 days. Purely as I’ve been working nights. Look, I’ll tell you my tale tonight if I get a chance. You may remember I disappeared about 7 months ago after ‘marriage difficulties’. It’s been a roller coaster. The whole abstaining thing has also gone out of the window.

T xx
Thanks Tadpole <:)> It' is really comforting knowing that I've got you guys on BE. I really appreciate all the support.
I ended up in bed asleep about 10 minutes after I posted so wasn't around for your tale. Am always popping on and off through most days (apart from when I'm drunk!) so fire away whenever you want to.
I remember you going through a rough time but then I went AWOL so don't know what happened in the end
X
Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything.

BizzyBee
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Re: Regrouping

Post by BizzyBee »

Evening Woodstock and sleepy :\:
Glad to hear you're feeling like you're getting back on track Woodstock. It's so hard once we've slipped off. But we've done it before and we can do it again.

Sleepy, it's lovely to hear from you. And you're still smashing it \:)/ Fantastic work.

I'm feeling OK about not drinking today. Not got a massive craving this eve but have got some ice cream lined up in replacement.
Overall I'm feeling pretty flat in mood. I should be feeling excited as we get the keys to our new house on Friday but it's just not happening that way. Maybe because the whole process has been going on for so long??
Hopefully it will come soon.

Have a good evening guys

Xx
Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything.

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