Regrouping

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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little acorn
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Re: Regrouping

Post by little acorn »

hello everyone :\: I remember you Tadpole, I am so sorry to hear about your pet dog. Our animals are so wonderful aren't they. You've certainly been through the mill but it looks like you are turning a good corner and there are some very wise words of help and support I see. I hope everyone is ok today and this evening xx
little acorn likes his water. I need to follow his lead.

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Winkler
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Winkler »

Caught up Tadpole. Thank you for the update, I did wonder how things turned out :)
Very good to hear you and your man are happy, even though there are still alcohol demons flying around it seems, mixed in with guilt!
I hope you manage to find a way to get some talking therapy. Does your work occupational health not offer services in that arena? I’ve found that route personally very helpful a couple of times, with person centered counselling.

If/when you decide to go for longer term AF, if I can offer any advice even though my own long term goals keep changing, I have found that avoiding sociable occasions involving drinks for a little while in the beginning helps and also your partner being on board and supporting by not drinking around you for a little while is really important :)
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

:\: :\:
Where's everyone gone?
Tadpole are you ok? <:)>

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Hey Woodstock!

I only caught up with the posts this morning. I epically messed up over the weekend. Had far too much to drink yesterday and almost ruined my relationship once again. I was doing so well. I’ve salvaged it but it’s been a tough day trying to hold it together at work. I’m looking into the counselling but everything is so booked up it’s difficult. I’m not giving up on that though.

How are you doing Woodstock?

Thanks everyone for your messages of support. It really does mean a lot. I’m with the man right now. I think he is wondering who I’m emailing!!!!

T xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Hi Tadpole
Good to see you back (::) Sorry you had an slip over the weekend. Been there done that on more times than I could count. I've also very very nearly lost a relationship and have a OH who has been through the mill with me drinking so that is added 'pressure' to try and stay off it. I'm into my third week but came so close to getting a bottle on my way home tonight. The trigger was someone talking about alcohol this afternoon at work, ridiculous (w) !!
I was so glad to be on this forum to come back to. These cravings come from nowhere and bite you on the bum :lol:
I'm watching Bake off so OH has left the room so no chance of him wondering who I am emailing :lol:
I hope you find a counsellor. I couldn't have got my AF time without help to sort about background issues.

I don't know who else is lurking hi Winkler. Little Acorn? :\:

Bye for now

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Morning all.

How’s everyone?

T xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Hi Tadpole

Not doing too well. Back to day 1 twice but getting my head together to start again today.

It's quiet on this thread. How are you doing?

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Hi Woodstock.

Always good to see you here. No change for me really. No disasters though. Relationship is going amazing (touch wood!) and I’m in the dentist waiting room right now. I’ve got four days off from today. I feel like I’m on holiday. Off to meet the man after my appointment. Alcohol will be involved as we are going to a pub. He loves it though. Currently just trying to drink ‘sensibly’. It’s the only down side to this relationship.

Xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

Hi Tadpole :\:
I hope you are enjoying your days off, good weather for it! :D
I haven't heard of anyone going to the dentist for a very long time, hope it wasn't a painful trip.
Hanging in with three days under my belt. Fingers crossed I can get it back to a longer run. \:)/ Funny how sunny weather in my head often goes along with a glass of wine..but can't go there :roll:
I'm no sure if others are around so hello if you are!

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Hey Woodstock. It was just a check up. No hassle thank goodness!

Well done on your three days. You must be feeling pretty good at the moment with that under your belt. I’m in nights next week. As much as I hate them I’m actually looking forward to getting some alcohol feee days in. As always I hope that after the nights I can carry on for a bit but it never works out that way. I think that my life is finally settling down after 8 months since I split with my husband I’m starting to feel more ‘myself’ and more confident. I think that part of the problem is that my partner drinks a lot, all be it in a very controlled manner unlike me. It will be hard sticking to the fizzy water whilst he’s sipping wine but I think I can use this stunt of nights to get back on track a bit more.

Off to get my hair done now finally!!! I find it so boring but it’s an absolute must.

Back to work tomorrow. 😌.

T xx

Woodstock
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Woodstock »

:\:
Tadpole, dental check ups seem a distant memory! Our dentist says they will contact us but not word yet. As for a haircut, if I go on much longer I won't be able to see :lol: appointment this week.
You're OH sounds lovely and glad you are happy. My OH drinks a bottle of wine which lasts the weekend, funnily enough it doesn't bother me too much now. Did at the beginning. What I've learnt I can't manage is when too much wine is in the house, after Christmas there were over 20.
Hope nights are ok for you this week.
Today is a garden day for me
Woodstock

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Morning groupies.

I'm on yet another night shift. It's been fierce so far. I'm exhausted. I did three in a row last week, had yesterday off, had to go out with the partner's family and back on two more nights from today (yesterday). I've been feeling really down in the dumps today. I'm tired - granted. Having lost an income it's really hard to keep my head above water. My wage covers all my outgoings but literally leaves me with no spending money. Therefore I have to do a 12 hour overtime shift every week so that I can have some money to spend. It's a drag. Also, I'm doing a course through work. To be honest it's been really hard getting my head around it. It's a very practical course and usually the classes are in workshops. However this time it's all been done over Zoom and I've been left feeling totally confused about the content of the 5 essays I have due in at the end of May. :cry:

The relationship continues to go from strength to strength. We spend so much time together, and having finally managed to get rid of the massive insecurities I had at the beginning we seem to have reached a mutual understanding. My man is so good to me it's unbelievable. We have been together 9 months at the end of the month and finally the butterflies I was getting are going. I suppose that's a normal thing. He has mentioned the 'marriage' word on a few occasions, usually when he has had a few drinks - so I am able to bat it away. However yesterday he mentioned it again, and when I told him that I was surprised as he was completely stone cold sober he said that he wanted to make a point of mentioning it when sober. I just smiled and gave him a cuddle. To be honest I really don't see the point in getting married again. But I don't want to disappoint the man. He is quite old fashioned in that way.

So, I feel like alcohol is a bit of an elephant in my post! I have been thinking about it a lot since being on my nights. Last week I really struggled with the first two as I had been drinking before going on nights (not literally!) So after a couple of days of no alcohol I felt mentally and physically much better - of course. Then yesterday I had a few drinks, was exhausted and ended up crashing on the sofa again. This has become a habit recently. The problem is this - the man likes alcohol - a lot. Like I have said before I have NEVER seen him drunk - I have known him for 7 years. He doesn't like feeling out of control so never drinks to get drunk. But, it's there - all the time. Every night he drinks at least one bottle of wine. I have never divulged my difficulties with alcohol to him, and I never will, I just couldn't and I don't think he would understand as I tend to drink less than him as I am usually so tired. However there have been times recently that I was going back to mine on route to his and having a couple of wines on my own before getting to his so that I would have a head start. He doesn't like it when I am drunk so tends to pour me small glasses of wine. My fitness has gone down again and I just don't feel myself. I absolutely need to have some AF days during the week and so I am going to have to tell him exactly that. I know it will be hard as he will be drinking wine next to me but I can't sacrifice my health for the sake of being able to enjoy wine with him. So, that leaves me with my concerns about him. It worries me how much he drinks. He hardly does any exercise - apart from golf at the weekends, and he looks older than his years. He has not had a check up at the GP for about 10 years and when I try to get him to go (he's 51) he gets defensive. He has private health care with the company he works for and has promised me (on several occasions) that he will go for an MOT. He hasn't yet. I am hoping that by me having a few nights off the booze and getting back into my exercise properly it may encourage him to stop faffing around. Maybe I'm just being hopeful.

Anyway. It's a bit of a rant this one, but its silly o'clock in the morning and my mind is racing.

Any ideas on any of the above would be much appreciated.

T xx

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