Regrouping

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Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Morning tad, lovely to see you xx
I’m definitely feeling more positive this morning than I have over the past week so I shall make the most of it for the rest of the week if I can.
So stupid that I think oh I’ll def drink next weekend, why can’t I approach it thinking I’m going to at least try not to drink. Maybe I’ll feel differently by Friday if I can get this week under my belt.
I guess we are at least managing a good few days not drinking between the times we do. Before I joined here it was a massive deal for me if I managed one day without a drink.
I hope your lunch goes ok and that you maybe manage not to drink it if you do, you can keep it to a minimum xxxx

Tarzan
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tarzan »

Hi all - I think AF days are all good and should be celebrated (with tea) even if you drink after then the AF day is still there - I still drink but I drink a lot less and I drink a lot more mindfully now and I ask myself in the morning (with or without a hangover) if the alcohol was really that good? I mean really? was it really really that good actually? and the answer is almost always no. so slowly i'm changing my relationship - so maybe you guys are too?

i'm feeling a bit positive if you can't tell!

I hope CC is doing ok in the rehab - must be very unsettling - do any of you guys do any Yoga? I fancy some yoga

love to all

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Morning Tarzan.

I agree. I’m managing to smash about 10-12 af days in a row now. I then get bored of the initial elation of feeling free and at ease. Strange that. Last week was a complete flop for me. I shouldn’t have drank that Thursday night. But it’s done now. Back on nights tonight and again I’m grateful for this as I need to get to bed and sleep today rather than think about drink. Also it will give me the head start I need. I could really feel the effects of alcohol on my mental state as well as general cognition over the last couple of days. I don’t want to feel like that any more but I also don’t think I want to be a total mom drinker. So new year is my new milestone. Seems silly to plan to drink if I can get that far sober, but I probably won’t anyway!

I’ve been thinking about cc. Hope it’s ok for him. Also hope he can catch up with us when he is allowed his phone.

How’s everyone else?

God I hope I can sleep today!!!

T xx

Spats
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Spats »

My sleeping has been all over the place recently tadders, waking up at silly o’clock (w) not sure why
Drank on only two days this month but it was two bottles of wine each time :o
I will get through the rest of the month sober, I’m really determined now ;)?
Hope everyone is doing ok- you’re certainly racking those days up tadders (::)

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Thanks for the vote of confidence there spats! Sounds like you’re doing pretty bloody well too!!!

I’ve been trying to sleep all day but just can’t. Basically I’m lying in bed and beating myself up about how I wasted that much needed time off. I knew there was a possibility that I would but I also thought I was actually a lot more determined than that. Feeling really negative and emotional but I’m sure it’s the dread of having to stay awake all night and be on the ball. Roll on Thursday morning when I’ll have done this set of nights!

T xx

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

You know beating yourself up is a waste of time Tad. True, it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves what a bloody stupid decision it was to drink but not sure it’s worth the mental energy we waste feeling so crap about ourselves.
We do have to give ourselves credit for the SF days we’re slowly but surely building up XX

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

You’re right sleepy. I just want to fast forward to when I’m be back in the good place again. What a waste of four precious days! But, it seems that way as I was literally packing in long stretches with no booze. Makes it all the more frightening that it can rear it’s ugly head so quickly and behave so destructively.

I think I’ll feel better tomorrow. Just got to stay awake now! 🥴

T xx

Tarzan
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tarzan »

Hi all - it is strange how that feeling of elation and freedom and clarity just evaporates into boredom and the "is that it?" question.

It becomes the new normal and then it's not special anymore - Annie grace goes on about it in one of her bits - so we seek something exciting and tell ourselves that alcohol will do the job nicely thank you very much....

I think instead of drinking we're supposed to go rock climbing or something - but then of course once you've spent the day doing something really awesome and virtuous you REALLY fancy a drink and you DESERVE one.

I don't know - its all rather difficult - but worthwhile, i'm feeling good today and i'm recognising it and acknowledging it and enjoying it

Love to all

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

So true!!! I’ve tried all sorts of distraction things and ‘new and exciting activities’ to try to replace the boozy feeling but they ultimately end up with bloody reward thoughts. Maybe it’s about replacing those reward thoughts? Oh I don’t know.

Anyway, glad you’re feeling good Tarzan. You seem to be gaining some traction. God I feel so much better than yesterday. Last night at work was pretty manic and I left questioning something that made me feel extremely anxious. Ffs!!!!! Nights and alcohol detoxification are not a good mix.

Back to the gym tonight. Two more night shifts and I’m done.

T xx

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Evening all. Lovely to hear you’re in good spirits Mr T.
Yes I too get the must have alcohol as a reward when I’ve done something new/outdoorsy/good mumsy (you get the drift).
I have nothing much to say today. Day 3 if I’m counting days, which I’m not at the moment!
Walking dogs right now. Spin in hour, OH and I seem to be really rubbing each other up the wrong way lately which is making me want to stay out of the house so I may have a swim after spin but I’ll see.
Have a good evening all xxx

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Morning all. I have nothing to say but good morning anyway. Hope you’re still feeling positive Mr T XX

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Morning sleepy!

Not much to say here either apart from ‘I’ve had a wonderful sleep’!

Last night shift tonight. I’m praying for peace!

T xx

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Saying you’ve had a wonderful sleep is a great thing to say Tad.
Taking eldest daughter to gym soon in a guest pass, she’s going to join in my spin class if there’s space then we’ll go for a swim. Xx

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

Wow, spin and a swim sleepy! That’s a lot!

I’m doing body combat tonight before work. Last week it made me so high and then I crashed about 4am.

Enjoy your evening both of you!!!

T xx

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

And I went for a swim at lunchtime tad. I’m determined to look like a model by the time I go to Glastonbury so I can put loads of photos on social media and annoy literally everyone I know 😂
Not drinking will obviously help my cause because god do I look awful after a binge!!!

Tarzan
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tarzan »

so here's the thing - I knew I had a lie in of sorts this morning so I could drink a bit more last night and still be ok today - and I did drink a bit more - not stupid - but a bit more - but it was ok I had a lie in.

Only I didn't get the lie in as when my partner got up and I usually roll over and go back to sleep in seconds, instead I sneezed and blew my nose - and then couldn't go back to sleep - so I didn't get the lie in and now have a hangover.

And i'm blaming my nose for this - not the alcohol!

The fact that without alcohol I wouldn't have a hangover no matter what time I got up is irrelevant - the hangover is due to the lack of lie in that I have a right to expect and receive and had planned for so everything was going to be ok.

and that's the thing - often we can function fine with alcohol - if only life would leave us be and let us get the sleep we need, and not give us difficult issues to deal with, and the cupboard always full of headache tablets and the fridge always full of lovely cold orange juice etc. But we all know life can be pretty vicious, even to gorgeous lovely people, so why do we feel we should get off lightly just so we don't have a hangover?

love to all

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

I had a similar experience yesterday Tarzan.

I had to go out with my parents on Thursday evening. Me, then and my husband, to me and husbands favourite restaurant. It started off as tense, very very tense. Having just finished my latest batch of night shifts I had the usual lack of sleep and impending sense of doom which always follows. I couldn’t handle it so u had a large glass of wine, and then another one. The meal actually went really well and everyone enjoyed themselves. However, on Friday husband was working all day and doing a sleep. I had to meet the parents again. This time in a pub with some of their friends. It was horrendous. I had a coke. When I finally got home I wanted, needed and felt like I bloody well deserved a bottle of wine. And so I bought one and drank it. Followed by the remainder of my husbands bottle of red. I had two paracetamol and took a bottle if cold orange juice to bed with me. Yesterday o woke up and felt surprisingly ok. Still tired but not really hung over. My shift started at 4, by which time I wanted, needed and deserved some sleep. But I had to go to work until midnight. Thank goodness for the extra hour in bed this morning. I feel miles better than yesterday, and tomorrow I reckon I’ll feel even better. I’ve got a load of things to do before work, including gym and dropping the doggie off at my parents. He will bark in the car all the way there. The colleague I’ve got on with me today was out last night. He’s been there since 7am and no doubt as soon as I get in the excuses and planning will begin for him to finish early and leave me in the shit as he will be so hung over. But thank god im not. I think the ultimate question is why the hell do we keep doing this to ourselves? I think if I could answer that I’d be further along my journey. But maybe not.

What’s everyone up to today?

T xx

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Winkler
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Winkler »

Tadpole wrote:
27 Oct 2019 08:49
I think the ultimate question is why the hell do we keep doing this to ourselves?
Made me think of this parable I came across the other day, Tadpole

‘A woman driving a car at great speed down the road - a bystander shouts ‘where are you going’ . Woman shouts back ’I don’t know - ask the car’

Actually where I came across it, it was to illustrate who is controlling your life, rather than what, but similar situation, maybe? :)
Don’t take any shit today, make your co-worker stay ;)
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

Tadpole
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Tadpole »

I think I will winkler! :lol:

Sleepyb
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Re: Regrouping

Post by Sleepyb »

Evening all. Well I’m back from my weekend camping. I drank but I’ve had such a good weekend, a really good laugh. I feel a bit rubbish bit not horrendous. I so wish I could have weekends like this and just not think about drinking once it’s over.
My best friend (who is also my drinking partner 🙄🙄) and I have vowed to do the whole if November sober. If she sticks to it, this well help me no end.
Anyway early to bed, I have university tomorrow and spin in the evening so I definitely need to wake up with a clear head.
Tad, Mr T, hope you’re both ok xxx

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