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Tink
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Tink » 05 Jan 2011 01:34

atormy XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Been there mate. Sending some love friend. <:)> Hope you stick around and BTW, not the weed killer :shock: :mrgreen: . Live and enjoy. ;) Better than being bug food mate. :shock: Anything is a bonus next to that. :? It will get better my new mate and hang around here and vent all you want. :D That is what we are all here for . <:)>
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 05 Jan 2011 03:38

Hey atormy,
I just joined, but I can relate. I'm not sober yet, but did have 7 days up some time ago when I was in rehab. On day 3, I was an absolute bawling mess, I cried about all the things I had lost, about how much living I had missed out on and about my terror of the future. It was very cleansing for me to finally acknowledge all these feelings.
I felt so raw and vulnerable, but strangely reconnected with myself at last. It's all good and necessary.
Now I have to go through it all again and I'm scared, but I tell myself that it takes incredible strength to be an alcoholic - just look at what lengths we go to, to keep our addiction going, so it's very possible to redirect that strength into saving our lives. Just keep a picture in your mind of the phoenix rising out of the ashes ;)?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 05 Jan 2011 10:01

Morning Atormy

Good people need challenges and maybe this is a cruel challenge that we face, but we are still good people, only need to look at BE we are ALL including YOU helping people so don't beat yourself up my friend.

AF2 and today AF3 each tiny step to freedom. Yes still a shit ride ahead but little by little it will get easier and we are learning every day more and more about ourselves. I suspect a lot of budding new authors will be on the shelves in the Christmas to come don't you? Fight the good fight with all your might! ;)? <:)>
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 05 Jan 2011 11:01

Hi all, need to talk again. I am at the lowest I have been for many years, but have admitted now that I can't stop drinking and sort my life out without some sort of professional help. It's not just the booze, but loneliness, feelings of my life having no purpose, etc etc - I really need proper counselling. I've applied for counselling on this site (waiting for them to get back to me with an assessment), and I am going to see my doc on Friday. I do have clinical depression, had it 25 years now, maybe I need an increase in meds as well as stopping drinking - of course, drinking will inhibit my meds working anyway. I just know I need to stop drinking, but I can't do it alone any more. I just needed to say this to somebody, hence I'm saying it to whoever's reading this. I feel so sad that I am spoiling my life. I really want to be happy and I don't know why I can't be. Well, I probably can be, but need, like I said, professional help. Today i feel so tired, and really spaced out, prob a result of the heavy drinking for several weeks, not to mention spending God knows how much time in the bathroom yesterday, I feel, literally, drained today.

Thanks for listening.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by lamp65 » 05 Jan 2011 12:09

Hi Tets. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I suffer from depression too so know how bad it makes you feel. Drink makes it worse though. I haven't felt really happy for about two years now, but determined to change that this year. I will be happy :)

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by homeandaway » 05 Jan 2011 12:27

Hey tetsmom

Understand your pain mate. Experienced it and can honestly say it was a bad bad time
In my life
This is a great place if you ever want to talk. There will be pretty much someone round 24/7 to listen.
Good luck with the counselling but from personal experience kicking the booze
Helps the problem no end . Really does.
Good luck

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 05 Jan 2011 13:15

Hi Tetsmom, Half the battle is admission and taking the first step and you are there. Definately go and talk to your GP but remember there is no quick fix here. In my experience, I have been (medically) depressed for 8 years, sure I must have had some mild depression in my younger days without realising it. At my worst I was on a cocktail of AD's and MS's. I remember being sent off for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) big mistake and it made me far worse and I am sure prolonged my suffering, why? because it opens up old wounds that are really raw, I was just not ready for it back then. Now I am about to complete another course of 1-2-1 counselling which I got on the NHS through my GP CAT (cognitive analytical therapy) - amazing getting great results and I'm really on top of the world and back in control well almost because now this is my next challenge the alcoholism. Put it off for far too long and proving very hard to do, gone two steps back but looking forward to striding out soon. Came of AD's last month and hoping my MS's will be reviewed in the spring.

It is all about timing and I'm afraid you just have to be patient and kind to yourself, take it slowly step by step and keep in touch with everyone on BE because we are all here to help and share experiences. By keeping in touch yourself your are also really helping others which is a great feeling and part of the self help thing. In the meantime lots of hugs <:)> <:)> <:)>
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

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diamondoll
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by diamondoll » 05 Jan 2011 21:16

Hi Tets,
sending you a big <:)> <:)>
Glad that you have a docs appointment - every journey has to start somewhere. You are worth it (as the adverts say!)
Lots of luck and love
Caroline ;)? xxxx
A day without wine is a day full of sunshine!

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diamondoll
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by diamondoll » 05 Jan 2011 21:21

Hi atormy - or is it stormy? :)
You will probably notice common factors on these posts - so many of us have similar problems and depression and alcohol are bedfellows, even for people who don't have a "problem" so is it any wonder we spiral into despair when we drink.
the good news is that stopping is within your control - other things may not be, but the decision not to drink is yours, and knowing that it will help the depression is as good a reason as any I guess.
Stay with us, this site has been my lifeline - and many others say the same.
Love
Caroline <:)>
A day without wine is a day full of sunshine!

atormy
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by atormy » 05 Jan 2011 22:44

OHG!
Silver quinie (NE Scots term of affection) Norton Cowboy Tink Enfin
wish i'd tuned in earlier to read all your lovely words and good wishes beena downer again 2day but hey got through AF3 near 'nough
Thanx thanx thanxxxxxxxx
and to you Diamondoll (caroline) yeh thanx (it is strormy BTW typo)
everyones story is so different and yet so the same its depressing enfin that i too went throu detox at local looney bin here and came out so +ve was bouncing to get back in the world so bought a bottle to congratulate myself and................................you can guess the rest
Tetsmom hang in there people here are so lovely and as i said previously this disease seems to want to take down the best take comfort fromthat coz it also means YOU have the strength to beat it and help others too just by being here <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> to everyone XXXX
Love Stormy (formerly atormy)
Just for today I will try to live through this day only; I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime X

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Bela
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Bela » 06 Jan 2011 11:54

Tets, hope you are feeling better today, luv. <:)>
I believe it can signal a breakthrough when we really truly acknowledge we need help.
It takes a strong person to acknowledge that. I say good for you. (::)
Know that we are here to support you as you put you life back on track.
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

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london bloke
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by london bloke » 06 Jan 2011 13:19

Tets, I am sure you are an ideal candidate to get a lot from any support the pros can give.

I can sense a real shift in your thinking. !
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

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64Turtles
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 64Turtles » 07 Jan 2011 10:44

Hi Tets,
I can say the simple idea that worked for me is that our feelings will change when our actions change. Make the changes in your actions and the better feelings WILL COME!
WELL DONE coming here. Loads of love for ya..... <:)>
“Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains”

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Neal
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Neal » 09 Jan 2011 11:39

Hi Space

It seems that being alone is a big trigger for you and that could be a good staring point in discussing how you move forward. When your wife returns you can state your commitment to working through this and open some dialogue on how you can help yourself, and how others can help you, to avoid lapsing when you are on our own. Do you have any ideas about this?

One thing that would not help is more drink.

I hope things pan out.

Neal
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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soberatlast
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by soberatlast » 09 Jan 2011 12:23

Sounds like good advice from Neal there Space, sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can tap the full depth of our strenght. Good luck

I came on here to have a moan, and say just how awful i am feeling. Very very stressed because I have too much on, have to go away tonight for the whole week and really really don't want to. My cold is coming back at the worst possible time, and I think I must have PMT because my temper is uncontrollable and I can't stop crying. Ended up throwing things around this morning, and yelling at the kids. Feel so terrible, and the only thing I can think of is to throw some booze down my neck to take the edge of it, and get into that wonderful fuzzy state where nothing seems that important any more.. I literally feel like taking the top of a bottle and just gulping. This is why I am a drinker I guess, to take the pain away. Sorry for the winge on this beautiful Sunday, I really didnt expect to feel like this when things had been going so well this week. And I really really don't want to break my AF 2011 because it is so important to me..
"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln
AF 2011 #7

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Bela
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Bela » 09 Jan 2011 12:54

Soberatlast, can you take a wee "timeout"?
Take a few deep breaths and get yourself to a place of calm.
A short walk perhaps?
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

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Neal
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Neal » 09 Jan 2011 12:57

We all get into deep sh!t and, we come out the other side.
Teenagers are prone to blowing things out of all proportion and really, at thirteen, should not be a self-driven catalyst for any reactions to adult situations.

This is really for you and your wife to sit down and talk about, I think. You are working with it, keep doing so.

I don't know the circumstances, but things like that level of family involvement (brother-in-law searching your house) can be really damaging. You need your wife on your side or you have a team to face.

Admittedly, or perhaps I should say 'in my experience', we lose a lot of privileges when we are problem drinkers. Let's face it, our reputation gets a bit shot to pieces in some quarters. However, we do not lose the privilege to be treated fairly and like an adult, especially if we are taking responsibility and trying to deal with our issues. It sounds like you are being treated like the thirteen-year-old here.

It's a shame that some proprtion and rationality seem to have been lost here. Storms in family teacups are difficult to quell - they do go on.

I hope you get things worked out with your wife, and the support (not condemnation) of wider family who may be involved.

Soberatlast - I know it's hard to keep everything in perspective. A wee time out - with some nice tea, a chocolate biscuit... that helps me. I hope your day picks up.

Neal
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by nettii » 09 Jan 2011 14:22

Soberatlast: You really can get through this. It's feeling tough but imagine how strong you'll feel for the rest of your sober 2011 challenge if you can get through today. You're probably completely strerssed about going away for the week, but once you're there, you're there. PMT at this time is such a bugger.

Space: I have experience of in-law over involvement and it's not good. Think about how you are going to be strong and keep calm when your wife is back. If you know she's going to go mad at you, think about how best to react. Many people with drink problems have blips - look at as this and move on. Your main concern should be your children and wife - your in-laws need to butt out, which they probably won't do but you need to stop dwelling on what they're thinking about you because they are not helping. They probably think they're helping though, but it's toxic.

Please try not to drink. It won't help at all.

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soberatlast
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by soberatlast » 09 Jan 2011 14:35

Thanks for your support guys, really appreciate it, I am not good at asking for support, much prerer to do the supporting, but then that is how i end up getting overloaded i guess.. Still crying, but still sober and very grateful and proud for it.. Thanks again, also for the PMs, you are all wonderful <:)> <:)>
"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln
AF 2011 #7

Resolute
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Resolute » 10 Jan 2011 06:31

Hi all,
I have not posted for a while. Have been off and on drinking for the last five months really trying to cut down/stop. I am AF 9 days but since about 10AM yesterday I have been craving a drink! Went bowling yesterday with the family and I wanted a beer so badly. Have been thinking about it all day and said I'll at least make it until 5pm. It is now 5:27 and I just bought a nice cold bottle of wine.

Hate to post just for help rather than giving support. In tears because I don't want to drink it but really want to. Any help or suggestions woulds be great. Best wishes to everyone to stay stronger than I am right now.

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