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Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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caroline95
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by caroline95 » 15 Jan 2011 21:26

Friendship implies a concern for mutual welfare.I lost a few friends last time when I stopped for a long time and frankly I couldn't care less.Such so called friends I can do without.The friends I have now are on my side as friends should be.
You will get off to a better start with your new business if you can get on top of the drink problem and I do wish you well with that.
Take Care
Ace[/quote]
Absolutely.Drinking friends are not real friends, just drinking buddies who will leave you in a heartbeat when you don't join in with them getting wasted.

I wish you all the best x

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 16 Jan 2011 13:23

Hi Denise, I know if I were you no way would I go out on Monday night, reading you post I don't think you are ready. Perhaps stall it for 2 weeks and make your excuses. Tell them it is to do with the new business venture that you can't afford the time.

Keep posting and reading the posts for support and I'm sure taking it step by step you will achieve. It is all about timing, it took me 8 years to finally take the plunge into sobriety and now on AF19 which I think is down to really really really wanting to do this and not letting anything get in my way. I too have my own business but when assessing what was causing my excessive drinking, not all but one of the factors what that so I took the decision to sell it and I should be free of that by February.

Good luck on your journey and looking forward to the banter <:)>
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

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jayelm
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by jayelm » 16 Jan 2011 18:10

You are right, Space, it will take time, but eventually things will right themselves with world as you right things with yourself.

Good luck, and keep posting those positive vibes!
Growing older is no excuse for growing up!

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Sandy
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Sandy » 16 Jan 2011 18:34

Hi Space
just keep doing as you're doing. Your managing fine.
It's sometimes difficult to be around an alcoholic/heavy drinker, people see them drinking and worry for them... then when they are not drinking there is also a concern if they are ok or not!!!
Just keep doing as you are doing...it will slowly alleviate their worries.
take care of yourself
You are a lucky man to have what seems to be a loving and concerned family
Sandy

nettii
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by nettii » 17 Jan 2011 12:27

I wasn’t sure where to post this, but feel here’s the best place. I drank the last three days. sh**t, sh**t, sh**t.

Between 25th Nov and 4th Jan I was completely AF. Then I drank over two days. It wasn’t planned and I found it easy to get straight back to sobriety. Then, this weekend, my Sister came to stay. I only see her a couple of times a year. (It’s been a tough year – she had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy but has been given the all clear). I have no idea why I did it, but I convinced myself that I could have a couple of drinks with her and I’d be fine

I even worked out how many AF days I had last year, and it was about 150. Well, my screwed up brain decided that if I could do 150 days sober in my worst drinking year of my life, I couldn’t be that much of an alcoholic (deciding to ignore the fact that on the 215ish drinking days I was getting totally plastered, anxious, not coping, life falling apart blah, blah, blah).

So instead of posting on here (because I already knew I was going to do it, I didn’t want to be talked out of it), on Friday I had a couple of wines (which in fact was a bottle of wine) , Saturday the same and then yesterday a bottle and a can of beer. This morning my Sister left and there was 1 glass left in a bottle from last night. – and I downed it.

It’s not so much the amount I’ve drank this weekend, because I wasn’t ever drunk and, whilst the amounts might seem a lot to some, it’s pretty tame for me because my drinking was pretty much blackout time. What’s scared the hell out of me is how quickly the old addiction kicks back in now I’ve started to feed it.

I’ve read back on my recent posts and they seem so positive and upbeat, I don’t think they reflected the fact that something is obviously going on with me which has now resulted in me drinking for 5 days in 2 weeks. Maybe I was getting too confident??? Don’t know. F**k, f***, f***k is all I can think right now. I don’t want this, I hate this. The only way for me is to not drink at all because I HATE this feeling.

When will I ever learn that I just can not drink. Inside I know this but then something just clicks in my head and I’m back to drinking.

I’ve got all these AF days marked on my calendar, which are great, but in those 5 days of drinking I’ve manage to clock up about 60 units of alcohol, and it will only get worse. Much, much worse.

Everything was going so well and now it all seems so messed up. I had so many plans for 2011, I won’t let them slide. I won’t let my children have a drinking Mum.

So tomorrow I’ll be back at day 1 and I really, really need you guys. I don’t want too go back to that horrible dark place; this addictive, depressed grey feeling just stinks. xxxxx

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Ladybird
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladybird » 17 Jan 2011 12:43

<:)> for Netti

xxx
AF2011/24

thewho
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by thewho » 17 Jan 2011 12:46

I'll second that.... <:)> <:)> for nettii.

The first few days afterwards are often the hardest.... you'll get there.

thewho

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 17 Jan 2011 12:51

Hi Nettie, well the EAF had to catch someone this week and I'm afraid she went straight for you. Please don't beat yourself up about it - you can't change the past and it is over and today is a new day. Take the postive from the last year and congratulate yourself on your long period of sobriety. If I am honest I think we would be hard pushed to find anyone who had not succumb during their journey to total abstinence. By the way if there is anyone out there on BE that has 3 years or more without experiencing this can you let us know because we for sure would like to hear how you have achieved it. It is all part of the learning process and your experience will now make you stronger than ever to listen to the EAF and fight her off. Onwards and upwards dear friend you will soon mount up those AF days again. In the meantime lets do <:)> <:)>
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

nettii
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by nettii » 17 Jan 2011 14:14

Hi guys, thanks for the <:)> <:)> they are much appreciated.

1sunworshipper: Thanks for the lovely advise, even though I know all about being positive etc etc it's just good to hear from others. Goo tyo know that there's others understanding.

Space: Thanks for the support. I don't think we realise here how many others are rooting for us. I've been reading your posts and so glad that you've come through the other side.

I know what I have to do but I hate that feeing of fear that I have now, about relapsing. I know ho easy it is to get stuck in that horrile cycle. So I'm determined to get off now, cause it'll only get harder. <:)>

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 17 Jan 2011 16:06

Hi guys, thanks for the various posts. Went out to see my friends on Sat, and did drink, and on Sunday too. I haven't drunk today but that's only so far - I'm at work now, without the car so I can't just nip out for a bottle, but who knows what will happen when I go home. I know I absolutely must kep posting here, whether I drink or not, cos shutting myself off doesn't help. I am wondering whether I should try AA again - I used to go years ago, and, whilst it's not hard to criticise them or whatever, all i know is that whilst I was going to meetings, I wasn't drinking. For me, I have to stop totally, I know that I cannot now, and never will be able to control my drinking. I'm either drunk or sober, there is no inbetween for me. I'm going to find out where some metings are and see if I can make myself go.

Beverley
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Beverley » 17 Jan 2011 16:08

Space and netti

Keep on trying on is all I can say. I have been at this at least 6 months and back then I thought I was going to die.
I know you are all keen on here to break loose. It can be Done, yes yes yes.

Every time you stop and then if you do fall back and start again you are one step closer to obtaining your objective.

My thoughts and love are with you for the future. Lets all pull together now. Huh? One BIG push forward. How about that?

Love Bev x
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 17 Jan 2011 16:53

Hey Tetsmom2, I'm so sorry to hear about your weekend - it is very easy to fall back into the trap. I would suggest that yes if AA worked for you in the past then why not give it another go. I've never been but I hear from posts that some don't like the religious element to the sessions. If this was not your thing then maybe you should look for alternative groups, there may be some in your area. Counselling could be another option, perhaps try a bit on the on-line counselling to see if it works for you. I've done Cognitive Behaviour Therapy through my GP and that has helped me immensley. Don't get too down about it, tomorrow is another day and be kind to yourself, you will find your way soon. <:)> <:)>
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

AceGricer
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by AceGricer » 17 Jan 2011 17:49

Netti,
Let me take you up on your words ' It will only get worse,much much worse.' I want to be careful how I word this.
It doesn't have to. It's not inevitable. You have proven to yourself that you can stop. This has been a lapse it does not mean that you can't try again. That is what you intending to do tomorrow . I think it is very positive that you are clear in your own mind that what you really want to do is stop and why you want to quit..Could I suggest a read through all of the coping strategies available on the BE Home Page. I think they are very helpful.
I'm posting from a position of being alongside you.I have struggled to stop once and for all.I found that you can start to string together several days and sometimes weeks.I've even managed three months. I would say that if we don't manage to quit all in one go then at least the times we don't touch the stuff are a step in the right direction.This time round I'm going for a complete stop. I honestly do not think that you and I are any kind of hopeless cases. Let's both have a good go at booting this problem into touch permanently.
Take Care Netti
Ace

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soberatlast
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by soberatlast » 17 Jan 2011 18:23

Netti and Testmom <:)> <:)> . Glad you came back, more determined than ever!! We will be here for you, please keep trying, don't give up! <:)>
"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln
AF 2011 #7

Denise1973
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Denise1973 » 17 Jan 2011 21:22

Just an update. I didn't end up going out. I made my excuses. No temptation ;)?

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caroline95
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by caroline95 » 17 Jan 2011 21:37

That's fantastic Denise, good for you ! (::)

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1sunworshipper
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 1sunworshipper » 17 Jan 2011 22:04

well done Denise, absolutely the right decision and doesn't it feel amazing to be in control :?: Way to go (::)
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 18 Jan 2011 12:02

Hi Sunworshipper, thanks for the thoughts. oddly enough, when i googled AA meetings in my area, I was shocked to find out that there is actually a group that meets in my village - no excuses about 'can't get there, too far away to be bothered going' etc...maybe someone's trying to tell me something ;)

CBT, I did wonder about that, I have an appointment with someone at my doc's surgery on 27th Jan who acts as a gateway to find the right kind of support, eg psychologist, psychiatrist, other forms of counselling/therapy including CBT, so I'm hopeful about that.

So I'm still not sober. I seem to manage pretty much ok whilst at work, enough there to distract me, but as soon as I leave, I can't bear the thought of being alone with my thoughts or whatever, gotta buy a bottle to have at home, the first few mouthfuls feel so comforting, but of course I can't stop there :( I know I need some for mof therapy or counselling as well as just stopping drinking - I think I drink because I'm lonely and my life feels meaningless (more to it than that really but that's the bare bones of it), so I actually need something positive to put in the empty hole that I feel without alcohol. hope that makes sense. Absence of alcohol in iteslf doesn't solve the deeper issues, that's why I need to do both at once - stop drinking AND get help to deal with the issues that make me drink in the first place.

And soberatlast, thanks for the hugs, can't do without them. That's one addiction that is good for me! <:)> <:)> <:)>

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Andy
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Andy » 18 Jan 2011 12:12

Tets, I personally dont like the idea of AA, but if there is any chance of it helping you go for it, it doesnt matter how many things you try that fail, just so long as you do find that 1 thing that works for you :-). You might as well go down that route and not wait for the appointment on the 27th, these things can take time even start with any help. You wont be loosing anything by going :-)

Hope you start finding the light at the end of the tunnel soon :-)

Andy <:)>
<:)> <:)> <:)>
Journey started 22-Feb-10.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by london bloke » 18 Jan 2011 12:45

I am in the same boat Tets and Netti.

Had first drinks of the year Sunday night. Felt depressed on Monday, so had more!

I am thinking of you both-and agree that getting to the bottom of things is crucial. I've been working on that, with a hypnotherapist and a councillor, and I am happy with progress.

getting back on here is a great discipline - we will all get there in the end. Nothing worthwhile happens quickly.
<:)>
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

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