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Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 11 Feb 2011 17:27

no-one i can call
everyone to busy
can't leave house
too upset
cuts not bad enough for a&e
have given up drinking but still want to hurt myself some how

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jayelm
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by jayelm » 11 Feb 2011 17:39

Starryeyes do you need to talk about something, is there anything I can do?

Do you have any help lines you can call where you are? <:)>

J/
Growing older is no excuse for growing up!

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lawrence
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by lawrence » 11 Feb 2011 17:40

just found the following English-language helpline in France via the Samaritans (not knowing what your level of French is)

talking is always good.

http://www.soshelpline.org/

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 11 Feb 2011 18:14

Hi guys, just a quickie as I need to get off home soon.

Before I witter on about me, I just wanted to say to starryeyesee, I self harmed for many, many years, and sometimes it is still a struggle not to. Iyou want someone to talk to you are welcome to PM me. I try and get on the forum most days, but if you don't get a fast reply, please don't think I am ignoring you, it genuinely means I just haven't had the time, as I run my own business and am trying to juggle that with struggling with drinking, and sundry other stuff.

So...I am not as bad as I was the other day when i posted. Looking back, i was as near to suicide as I have ever, ever been, i think. Las two days i've been better. Managed to slow the drinking down a bit, not drinking so aggressively as before. Got my liver function test booked, if that's ok I can go on Antabuse and then get my psychotherapy....always think of that as 'therapy for a psycho'....!

Thank God for this forum, and you guys were here that day. If not, I don't think I'd be here today. Dunno if I will have a chance to post over the weekend as it will be a busy one, but I have booked a back massage as a treat, and have just had a funky new haircut (think Keith from The Prodigy), I just want to try and do something to make me happy for a moment, something that makes me smile and isn't harmful. I try and make myself believe I deserve it :)

Thanks again for being here for me. God bless you all ;)?

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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 11 Feb 2011 19:15

phoned samaritans
feeling a bit better
thanks for the support
starry x

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lawrence
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by lawrence » 11 Feb 2011 19:35

Well done for picking up the phone starry. <:)>

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Luu » 11 Feb 2011 21:31

my night was going so well. Dinner at friend's house with my kids so I drove there to stop me from drinking too much. Came home ran to the fridge grabbed a beer - gone in 60seconds for sure. Grabbed the next, kids in PJ's quick couch time with them and then hurried them up to bed so I could have another one. Been reading on the threads and don't know where to write. Just finished smoking a little pot, grabbed a packet of nuts and another beer and am sitting here watching crap on TV. I am going to bed at 11pm for sure - probably 2 beers away. Have to get up in morning to take son to soccer. How are you doing Starry? Come on Monday.....

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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 12 Feb 2011 13:39

hello
thanks for all the support everyone.
I didn't drink cos i couldn't leave the house. samaritans calmed me down, was on the phone for an hour. feeling crap today, still crying a lot- i actually considered suicide last night which hasn't happened for 18 months. don't know if this is because i've stopped drinking.
just have to get through the day without doing anything stupid
starry x

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Aaron.A
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Aaron.A » 12 Feb 2011 14:02

I am glad you are feeling starryeyesee . Have you been on any meds you are not supposed to take alcohol with? A few years back I was on citalopram and a whole host of other drugs I was not supposed to mix with alcohol. and I had some awful side effects when i did stop drinking. If your doctor knows about your drinking he may be able to adjust your medication
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 12 Feb 2011 16:57

still crying
aaron -have been mixing meds with booze for 4 years
.would it be this that is making me feel so low? thought i'd got over the worst (23 days sober). my pdoc upped my anti-d but i don't know how long it will take to work. feeling so low, still wanting to hurt myself. i think i am replacing abcohol with self hartm. i've been on auto destruct since i was 18 and although i'm in therapy i still haven't found the reason why i hate myself so much
s x

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Luu » 12 Feb 2011 18:42

Hey Starry, BE44 and all other guys out there now. I hope you are OK Starry. I have also been on anti-d stuff for many years and think that is the reason why we forget so much stuff when we drink, never used to happen before and now the memory loss is permanent from some point on in the night. Never spoke to my dr but my mum was also prescribed anti-d some time ago and she noticed the same thing and stopped taking them. Haven't told her that I can't stop taking them - otherwise I am an awful person to be around. I too have been hating myself for most of my life and don't know why - can't seem to shake it. But, have to get through it and go forward. I have been drinking tonight as usual. Drank all the beer in my house and went to neighbours for a couple. Now drinking Kahlua and champagne in a plastic cup while I watch a movie with my sons - yeah great example. I will go to bed with the boys tonight so I don't stay up and drink like last night. Taking kids to a tree climbing place tomorrow - so won't be drinking until late afternoon tomorrow I hope....

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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 13 Feb 2011 03:58

Hi Starry, Hi Luu,

Starry, it's hard to know how we came to hate ourselves so much. I think sometimes we treat other people with more respect than we do ourselves because we think we don't deserve it - but we do. We've all made mistakes, some of them awful, and it's hard to forgive ourselves but we can try, because everyone deserves to love themselves. I hope there's something out therefor you to cling to, even if it's just this small group of people who care.

Luu, small steps are a start. Did you manage to go to bed with the kids? The only other time I stopped drinking for 3 months was when I was living overseas with my ex-husband and I suddenly realised just how much I was drinking and how nasty and depressed I got. Do you have lots of friends over there or do you miss Oz?

Kokoda
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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dch3rbc
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by dch3rbc » 13 Feb 2011 19:25

Hi Starry,

Have just phoned the Smaritans myself based on your epxreience and comments on this page. The urge to drink or cut to help ease the pain is so great, I know I'm going to crack. But I'll try and keep trying. I hope you do too.

Ben.

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64Turtles
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 64Turtles » 13 Feb 2011 19:49

Very well said Kokoda.

Ben glad you are seeking help. posted over at relapse to you.

Jayelm....glad your back hon <:)> <:)>
“Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains”

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 14 Feb 2011 01:01

Starry wrote
"hello
thanks for all the support everyone.
I didn't drink cos i couldn't leave the house. samaritans calmed me down, was on the phone for an hour. feeling crap today, still crying a lot- i actually considered suicide last night which hasn't happened for 18 months. don't know if this is because i've stopped drinking.
just have to get through the day without doing anything stupid
starry x"

I too am struggling Starry. Had a slip yesterday and am trying hard not to be mad at myself, but it is not easy. I hope you are doing better by the time you get this message. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way. By the way, what are the samaritans???

<:)> <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 14 Feb 2011 01:03

P.S. No booze in the house so no worry that I will drink tonight. I don't think I would even if there were some in the house (::)

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

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64Turtles
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by 64Turtles » 14 Feb 2011 02:20

Linda,
Hope your being gentle, no need to mull it to much.... <:)> <:)>

Back on the horse or go slowly as it may be <:)>
“Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains”

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 14 Feb 2011 02:32

Thanks Turtles <:)> You always know the right things to say <:)> <:)>

Hugs!

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 14 Feb 2011 13:00

hi kingsnoopy
sorry to hear your struggling as well. the samaritans are a uk based helpline for peole who are suicidal or in distress.
your probably asleep at the mo so here's some <:)> s for when you wake up
starry x

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 14 Feb 2011 14:18

Thanks for the hugs starry.........right back at ya <:)> <:)>

I hope you are feeling better today? I am feeling a tad bit better and am just going to take the day and make the best of it. At work so that helps....staying busy is something I absolutely must do in my quest for sobriety.

Please let me know how you are doing........I care <:)> <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

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