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Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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tweedie3
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tweedie3 » 16 Mar 2011 16:08

Hey Pandagirl
Sending you good thoughts and a <:)> . Stick with us, there is so much wisdom and love nd support on here.
Take care ;)?
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mohandas Gandhi

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 16 Mar 2011 18:44

Interesting post Space!! Glad to hear you are doing so much better \:)/ (::) I am doing pretty well. Like you, mostly AF, but have had a few drinks here and there, but nothing like the bad ole days. Still aiming for total abstinence and am determined to get there. I keep adding more tools to my toolbox every week and each one has helped build the sober muscles I need ;)? ;)? .


<:)> <:)>

Linda
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kenny
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by kenny » 16 Mar 2011 19:39

Alright space,, theres a saying im sure you must have come across, were powerless over people places and things, and thats a good example what happen to you today. Your right not to feel angry and i hope this work freind is ok,,she must be worried sick bless her. Anyway your doing well so well done. Take care and better things ahead eh?... ;)? .....kenny
Open your eyes to a brand new day, not letting yesterday use up today,,ps..love ya liver.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 17 Mar 2011 20:44

hi just joined this site after reading for a few days , always been a social drinker but since my partner left me in october drinking has become a problem especially in the last month or so ,she was the love of my life i liked ever since i was 17 but she had a partner 15 years later they split and we got together a year after , loved mylife with her and fell in love with her children everything was so perfect, we come home from holiday one day only to find her in tears in the living room she admitted to me that life could never be the same with me as her x and asked me to leave at that point i wasnt even drinkin alchol , my world fell apart no more fiance no more kids house etc, so back to the pub it was, i've been averaging about 5 pints at the pub everynight since occasinally more if it is more i have to drink first thing in the morning to stop myself havin a panic attack ive suffered from these and anxiety for the last 10 years for me drink - panic and crazy thoughts though if my life is going well i can get away with maybe 3 or 4 pints twice a week , im so lonely right now and have lost all my confidence since being dumped, 3 times last week i drove to work with a strongbow in my hand, sat i drank 15 pints sunday 10 pints monday mornin i came down to earth with a bang !!!thats when i decided enough was enough so im in the process of weening myself of , monday i had 3 cans tuesday 2 cans wednesday 3 pints today none !!! feel ok but just lonely am hoping when i've dried out for a bit my passion for my hobbies will come back ,i have been on lorazepam and citalopram for quite sometime now since my x before this last girlfriend died with me surfing that shook me up but didnt turn me to booze as she had a problem with that , my other problem is health anxiety because i have have high cholestral im always thinking im gunna drop down dead my doc has said at my age its not to much of a problem but i find it hard to believe him thanks for reading john

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emma
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by emma » 17 Mar 2011 22:20

Hi Maximus, great to hear from you and so glad you have started posting. There is so much info on this site that will help you to cut down or cut out alcohol and we all understand what your going through. It's a bit quiet tonight but you will get more replys soon.

It's fantastic that you have cut down and have had none today at all, well done!! Your passion for life and your hobbies will return very soon!!
AF 2011 No. 55

nwdave
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by nwdave » 17 Mar 2011 23:11

Deep Breath and here goes......
hello all, I really need someone here to talk some sense into me......
Im 31yrs of age. Since the age of 16 upwards Ive been a heavy binge drinker. When i start to drink I cant stop, I have zero self control and drink until I drop/blackout.
When I went to university and this was the norm and could get up the following day fine and dandy and carry on life as normal. Ive never really drank everyday but once or twice a week Id get absolutely blotted.
BUT WHAT I NEED HELP WITH IS FOR SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN WHATS HAPPENING TO ME NOW.........
From the age of 26 onwards I drank less (once a week etc) but again would binge when I did.I now started to suffer horrific hangovers....today they last 2-4 days at a time. I feel anxious, depressed and act TOTALLY out of character. Im no longer a happy social drunk as I used to be. Im like a different person, rude and obnoxious and feel shameful for days on end. In the last three years I have been hospitalised twice with my stomach bleeding/tearing. I stopped drinking for around 6 months and was told Id be ok to drink in the future by medical staff so saw this as an excuse......WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME????? I have friends who drink far far more than me and far more often and are absolutely fine. I can go weeks on end without drinking, months even. But when I DO go out, the same thing happens - Im ill and feel like my world has ended. I have had a few crappy years in my personal life and dont know if this is something subconciously but ideally Im desperate to stop altogether and know I probably need too. I just need someone to explain to me why there is something in my makeup that means I cant drink? and what causes it? Ive tried to speak to a professional and just get told to cut down for a while or to rest my stomach and I'll be fine as I dont drink every week.I dont feel anyone understands or can explain to me what is happening and why now all of a sudden? sorry for the long message, Im just pretty desperate to be told straight.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by fuzzyhead » 17 Mar 2011 23:42

Hi nwdave,

I am similar to you in respect of drinking lots from a young age, cant stop once i start , now im 34 i to find drink depressing, isolating,purely because i cant control it.

Something inside you has to snap and make you stop, i have kids so they are my motivation, you have to want to stop, REALLY want to stop and it WILL happen, slowly.
It doesnt matter if you dont drink everyday, if you cant just have one or two then you shouldnt drink. Some people say we have an allergy to alcohol, if you were allergic to peanuts, you wouldnt eat them,same goes here, this is just harder, but so do-able

Try to be strong and think how rough alcohol makes you feel.

Sarah

kenny
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by kenny » 18 Mar 2011 01:00

nwneal, in a nut shell, your body dont want booze any more. If your drinking once a week and your hang over is bad for that long i would stop all together befor your body reacts. Fuzzyhead is right , sometimes you need that reason to stop, ie kids ect, but honest, if your not enjoying it when you drink it and when you do you feel shit for day??? you tell me what you should do. Try the 7 day chalange and keep posting as well as reading old and new posts, theres alot of good advice hear, but first have a good chat with yourself and stay well. Theres to much crap in the world let alone putting crap into ourselfs...ken
Open your eyes to a brand new day, not letting yesterday use up today,,ps..love ya liver.

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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 18 Mar 2011 13:32

Hi Nwdave,

I guess everyone's tolerance for alcohol is different, and it definitely diminishes with age. I felt like crap for 2-4 days after a really bad binge - I'm 42. I used to be able to drink until 5am and then go to work, usually vomiting in the toilet after a really big night. Recently I also started vomiting after not too many drinks and I would blame food, but deep down I knew it was because my stomach was suffering after too much drink. For me, it was kids that made me want to stop, and I knew that my body was telling me to stop. I can't believe my kids were there rubbing my back while I vomited in the toilet, pretending it wasn't the drinking while I hid the bottles next to my bed.

Sounds like your body's telling you it's time to give up, too.

Like Kenny says, have a go at the 7 day challenge, and see how you feel. There are heaps of us here to chat with and we all support each other.

Good luck and take care,

K
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

Denise1973
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Denise1973 » 18 Mar 2011 15:00

Maximus and NW Dave you have both made a positive step with your awareness. I too have gone through a big break up and my drinking slowly got worse.

I have tried to abstain completely but can't seem to go past a week without drinking again. I am perfectly fine being sober. Positive, happy and getting on with my life, moving in the right direction then the EAF visits.

When the EAF visits everything goes out the window. Especially if I feel like a drink. Nothing will stop me from obtaining some alcohol. Next thing I know its three days later. My wallet is alot lighter and I feel like crap. Have to pop some betablockers to stop me from feeling so anxious. Luckily I have changed in such a sense that I don't drink for ten days and poison myself like before.

I am currently at a point in my career where I can make a difference and make a lot of money, potentially. Why I do this to myself is a such a puzzle?

Does anyone know of any medication I can get from my doctor to stop drinking with little side effects?

I once was forced to take antibuse. I didnt abuse alcohol at the time. That was 18 years ago. I volunteered to book into a rehab centre to get away from it all as I was getting over some opiates that the doctor prescribed for losing weight. That was in South Africa and the drugs he prescribed were so high of a schedule that if he was in the UK he could have been struck off. His wife took them too and she eventually had difficulty getting off them too. Both of us suffered with erratic behaviour and massive mood swings.

The point is, because I was forced to take antibuse everyday for three weeks, I didn't touch alcohol for atleast a year after. Was so worried that I would end up in hospital if I had a sip of a drink.

After coming to the UK 13 years ago my alcohol consumption got carried away after a series of emotional triggers and bad things happening. I did manage to give up completely for 18 months but picked it up again when I developed a taste for red wine. I once asked a doctor here if he would issue them to me when I started drinking more than I was happy with. That doctor said that in the UK doctors don't like prescribing them. He said that a side effect is that they can make you go mad???

Thats just one doctors opinion. What do you guys know and recon?

Denise1973
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Denise1973 » 18 Mar 2011 15:25

Actually forget the question I just asked.

I have just read up about the drugs available to help with alcohol abuse and I am not impressed with their possible side effects.

Im just going to have to stick to will power.

nwdave
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by nwdave » 18 Mar 2011 18:20

Thank you for the replys so far.
It is alcohol ABUSE definately. I can go weeks or months like I said without drinking... and then one session and I hit bottom again.
Its crazy and I also have a little girl who is my life and I dont want to spend the time I see her in bed tired/ill or miserable and anxious. This is why I simply have to draw a line.
Today is one of those days with the nice weather that the texts and calls came from friends/drinking buddies to go to the beer garden for a couple of pints.....they probably did have a couple pints too and a nice time. I know personally if Id have gone I would still be there at 2am!!!
Im one of those people who needs reasons and proof of things and thats the danger because I fool myself that my body will be ok next time and my mind will be fine...because I see other people who are fine.....Im just fooling myself. Thank you again, I'll get there.
PS. The spring cleaning Ive done today to keep my mind off going out is amazing!! looks like a showhome :)

kenny
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by kenny » 18 Mar 2011 20:07

nwDave, Your doing ok my freind, your thinking is bang on, its good to think ahead to what you know will lead to crap. Just take care nw, your get there...ken
Open your eyes to a brand new day, not letting yesterday use up today,,ps..love ya liver.

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 19 Mar 2011 07:13

Hi everyone,

I'm sitting here with buckets all around the house. It's been non stop raining today and I now have another 5 leaks. I posted not that long ago how I have a $9000 bill already for roof repairs, it's sure to be double that now. And I can't leave it like that because the termites love my house already without adding more moisture to it all.

I'm a single mum of 4 on a disability pension, so you can imagine how devasted I'm feeling right now. Honestly since the day I decided to give up drinking I've had one drama after the other between the house, my health and my ex. I am so totally bewildered why I'm copping all this when I'm trying my hardest to do the right thing. Is there some kinda message in all this that I'm missing ?.

I've got the "it's not fair" hat on tonight and so want to just say f**k it all, and return to my alcoholic denial of everything. Lucky for me I'm too scared to drive in the rain so I can't go out and buy my solace. I have however turned the house upside down searching for a hidden bottle. I found a tiny sample bottle of vodka, which I hate and I also know one little sip of anything would set me off and I'd probably end up catching a taxi to go out and drink and end up even more upset.

But in my head I'm already planning to go out tomorrow and having a real mental battle about it. I'm just so fed up with my rotten deal of cards and I don't know how to hold onto my positiveness anymore. I know drinking won't help, but I just want escape so badly. I'm using every ounce of my strength to get sober, but I'm mightely p**d off tonight and don't feel I have anything left to deal with all of this.

I'm angry at the universe and feel like I'm being picked on, I need an explanation, which I won't get. So suck it up, suck it up, if God wants me and my kids homeless, then so be it. I must have sinned big time.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

Lel
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Lel » 19 Mar 2011 07:24

Hi Enfin

Sending you HUGE hugs <:)> <:)> What a shit time you are having!! No wonder you feel it's not fair and you're right - it's not! However, unfortunately times like this happen and life is crap but if you do drink or go and get drink you will have a whole load more crap to deal with. Sure it might help you 'escape' your current reality for a little while but that temporary good feeling will be followed by a landslide of hideous feelings that will only make you feel a million times worse and also make your current situation feel even more unbearable.

I know it probably won't help to hear this at the moment but I am a firm believer that even the crappiest things in life happen for a reason - even if it's not apparent at the time.

I wish I could help more - even if it was just to provide another bucket! Stay strong, drinking will only add to the problems.

Big hugs

Lel xx
"If you encounter a problem along your way...change your direction, not your destination."

kenny
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by kenny » 19 Mar 2011 07:55

Hi Enfin hun , sorry your feeling crap, i hope the bloody rain stops soon and i dont just mean the weather. Right hun "i want you to take my hand a second and come with me!!!!, right look at your kids, yha? there asleep right? how can you even think about drinking hun?. I not being nasty you know me but when things seem realy down theres only one place they can go, yep, up. But they need you sober whill its raining , and when its sunny. Please stay strong your doing so well Enfin, think back two weeks and tell me im wrong, 3 weeks ago you were in bits, so come on hun, stay with it. Anyyway ,you can let my hand go now ha, You take care and give the kids a hug. ....kenny <:)>
Open your eyes to a brand new day, not letting yesterday use up today,,ps..love ya liver.

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 19 Mar 2011 08:18

Thanks guys,

You know just blurting all that out made me feel a hundred times better.

The danger for me is the kids are with their dad for 5 days, so my head is saying no one would know if I drink or not. But I know, and that's what counts.

I just looked at the bus timetable for tomorrow, given I can't drive in the rain, and intend to force myself to go and see a movie. I'm not listening to the voice that says I can't afford it, because if I don't do it I'd have no problem justifying a bottle of wine.

Staying here on my own and sulking is not the best option. I hope I don't change my mind in the morning. I'll be hanging close here.

Thanks
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

Lel
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Lel » 19 Mar 2011 08:31

You're SO right there Enfin - it's amazing when we can justify the cost of a bottle even when we're skint!

A movie is a great idea - buy yourself a big bucket of popcorn or nachos or something - really treat yourself and be kind to yourself. What I have found over the last few months is if I've ever craved a drink or felt I needed a drink - deep down I know it's because I'm feeling an emotion I don't want to handle or can't deal with and in the past I've tried to 'pacify' that emotion with alcohol.

Now if I feel that way - I'll have a bottle of coke and a big packet of crisps - naughty too but hey, they don't bring a bucket load of guilt and a hangover with them and the hideous moment of wanting a drink passes. At worst- I'm a burping, portly tea totaller - but it's a much better feeling than the alternative!

Stay strong Enfin and as the amazing Tony has always said 'sheilds up!' - it's a good image to have in your head.

Lovely post from Kenny. You're not alone sweetie, stay strong - you'll feel much better for it.

Big hugs

Lel xxx
"If you encounter a problem along your way...change your direction, not your destination."

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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 19 Mar 2011 08:49

Hi Enfin,

You aren't alone. We're all here for you in cyberspace, and with you in the non-bodily form <:)>

Yeah, life can be really crappy at times and it's hard to see where the next ray of sun is going to shine from, especially if it''s raining buckets, which always makes it worse. I'm sending you some lovely warm weather from Perth.

Don't go out for a drink, put on a nice old movie, like Casablanca if you've got one, and lose yourself in it. That's what I do, and write my fanfiction to help me escape when the going gets too tough. Of course, like Lel, since I no longer have alcohol in the house, I also reach for the food and the only other drinks going, coffee and soda water :D

I just yelled at my son for doing something really and hurting himself, not because I was mad, but because that's how I react when I'm worried. He yelled back at me and there it went. Suddenly I was feeling the urge, so stalked into the house, poured myself a big bowl of pretzels and walnuts and took it out on them instead of heading to the local bottleshop.

Hope you are feeling better, life does get us down, but you've got all our positive thoughts coming your way and lots of hugs from me <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)>

Vic
P.S. Kenny, you get a big hug for that gorgeous post, too <:)>
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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Aaron.A
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Aaron.A » 19 Mar 2011 08:57

Hang in there enfin <:)> you guys in Australia are sure having some time of it with the weather lately. Going to the cinema is a great idea to keep your mind busy, it's those times when we are sat at home feeling sorry for ourselves that the eaf likes to come out .
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

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