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Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 19 Mar 2011 09:00

Hi Enfin,

Check this You Tube link out, it's Olivia Newton-John (no groaning from anyone :) ) and it's called Recovery. I always love it and it makes me feel better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFT824yJcv8

Vic x
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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dypso
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by dypso » 19 Mar 2011 09:19

Enfin
Just like to echo what everyone else has said and send a few more of these <:)> <:)> <:)>
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day!
Tomorrow's not looking good either.

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 19 Mar 2011 09:49

Hi again,

I'm so grateful to have you guys. When I first posted I went off and did my usual thing, putting on very loud music and dancing around, but it just doesn't work for me anymore if I'm not drunk.

So for the last half hour I've gone round and mopped up all the wet floors, now the rain has settled down. The last thing I need is to slip over if I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night hey. I was sobbing the whole time, still am, but I have acceptance of the situation.

If I'd starting drinking I would have just got really angry and once I start down that path I always rehash old hurts in my heart, and my dishwasher already has enough dents in it !
I don't like being angry, it takes me days to come down, it really is not in my nature and it takes me days to recover. I realize how alcohol fuels my anger and I want to be "myself" now to handle these kind of situations. I mean I'm an Aussie, hey Kokoda, so I've got the "she'll be right mate" attitude ingrained in me.

But I have to admit I'm still struggling with the fact that my builder, who was a friend, did a terrible job on my renovations, then p'd off interstate and refused to come to the party when I chased him down about all these problems. It's not the fact that I have a leaking roof, it's the fact that I've been totally ripped off by someone I trusted. That's what hurts.

There is not one person I've known who hasn't abused my confidence and let me down, not one. This is what disallusions and saddens me. I just have no faith in life anymore, hence I drink to create my own little fantasy world and that's the truth. All my life I've been told to toughen up, fight back, kick before you're hit, but I'm a gentle soul and I don't want to be like that.

I've always felt like I don't belong in this world and this is why I drink, not because my house is falling down. Does anyone get me ?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

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dypso
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by dypso » 20 Mar 2011 09:08

HI enfin
Just wanted to say things]will[ get better nothing ever lasts forever and that goes double for the bad things in life. so hang on in there. Hold on to your kids especially they will always be your foundation.
There is not one person I've known who hasn't abused my confidence and let me down, not one. This is what disallusions and saddens me. I just have no faith in life anymore
That completely mirrors my own life.
Eventually I came to the conclusion that if people couldn't be true ,then they could stick it and no skin off my nose.
I didn't isolate myself ,but left the door open for anyone if they wanted to walk through.
Some did ,most didn't, hey ho. Not my problem, theirs.
Not sure where i'm going with this so I think i'll sign off before this turns into a book :D

Stay strong you know you've got it in you.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day!
Tomorrow's not looking good either.

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 20 Mar 2011 12:50

<:)>
Last edited by Enfin on 21 Mar 2011 03:11, edited 1 time in total.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

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TommyFT
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by TommyFT » 20 Mar 2011 13:54

Hi enfin,
sorry to hear you drank today. our recoveries have plenty of ups and downs, so just see this philosophically rather than thinking you have failed. do your best also not to drink today as well if you can. It may well be very hard but just try and do your best to cure your hangover and not to make one bad day turn into more.

I know it can be tempting to say but saying that life is against you also isn't the solution! I had similar experiences to yours when I first stopped drinking; I thought that because I had stopped drinking everything in my life should be perfect and I was depressed when it wasn't. Just try and make being sober the number one priority in your life and I promise you that in the longer term, maybe not in weeks or even in 2-3 months, things will get better.
tom
Alcohol ALWAYS makes things worse, NEVER better

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Enfin » 21 Mar 2011 07:12

TommyFT wrote: I thought that because I had stopped drinking everything in my life should be perfect and I was depressed when it wasn't.
.

Sober or drunk I have never thought for one moment that life should be easy or perfect.
My life so far has been far from it let me assure you.

I'm not one who whinges about small misfortunes but this is serious stuff.
It's been one thing after another and surprise surprise I'm now falling into a
depressive bp episode, which is more dangerous to my life than the drinking.

No, more alcohol is not the answer, and I will continue battling the EAF and staying
close to this site, but I have to admit to feeling defeated and without hope.
That's just how it is right now.

Take care everyone <:)>
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

maximus
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 21 Mar 2011 10:22

for the replys after drinking nothing on thursday i felt great on fri so the demon in my head thought i dont have a problem so in the pub friday 7 pints 4 cans sat lunch as i felt rough and 6 pints on sunday just to finish it of my mates all the drink the same if not more than me but they dont drink when they feel rough so here goes im on the 7 day challenge

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 21 Mar 2011 11:03

i have today of it's my first day of 7 day challenge is it ok to chill around the house today as im feeling rough from the weekend i feel it's a waste of a day but dont feel like doing to much

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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 21 Mar 2011 13:08

Hi Enfin and Maximus,

Enfin, you're doing so well, you should be proud of yourself. Lesser people might have crumbled back into the drink at the EAF's insistence (like me :-)). Dab's right, maybe you should take a trip to the doc's, just in case you're back in line for depression, which is never nice. Are the kids back yet, or are they still at their dad's?

Maximus, I don't think there's anything wrong with chilling, it just gives you time to wind down and set yourself up for the 7 day challenge. Relax and do some nice things, watch a movie, or just snuggle up under the covers (not sure if it's cold wherever you are), if not, turn up the aircon and snuggle under the covers.

Take care both of you,
<:)>
Vicki xx
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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Kokoda
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Kokoda » 21 Mar 2011 13:14

Hi Enfin and Maximus,

Enfin, you're doing great!! A lesser person would have crumbled at the EAF's insistence (like me:-)), but you haven't. Dab's right, though, maybe you should head down to the doc's for a checkup, just in case. Depression is so insideous, it creeps up on you sometimes, and with everything you've been going through, you might need a little extra help from him.

Maximus, chilling out is a great way to get your head in the right place for the 7 day challenge, just kick back and do something nice like watching a movie, or ordering takeaway, or just snuggling up in bed for a couple of hours reading a book (if it's cold :) )

Take care both of you <:)>

Vicki x
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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soberatlast
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by soberatlast » 21 Mar 2011 22:44

Enfin and Maximum, just wanted to say hang on in there, and not having much to offer in the way of wise words, I am just sending some strenght and energy your way <:)> <:)>
"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln
AF 2011 #7

maximus
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 22 Mar 2011 08:48

im trying folks feeling awful today can feel the withdrwal im hungry though so that's a good sign im mega anxious and panicy though thought i was gunna have an attack this morning but took my meds and that stoped it

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 23 Mar 2011 13:31

i cocked it yesterday im on holiday and the weathers nice so went out with some friends for a soft drink had one, then hit the magners 7 bottles later i left them there and went home totally gutted this morning and a tad hungover just had a can to take the edge of this afternoon but wont have anymore today im an idiot

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pocoloco
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by pocoloco » 23 Mar 2011 13:58

hi maximus
you're not an idiot just someone who is tackling a difficult addiction. Have you tried the 7 day challenge? you'll find lots of support there because everyone is going through the same thing.
try and drink lots of water this afternoon and evening then start again tomorrow.
keep on keeping on and trying - in a few days you'll feel so much better for it
starry x

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 23 Mar 2011 15:00

Hi guys, not been here for a while, last time I posted I was waiting for an appointment to get some Antabuse and psychotherapy. Today i started on the Antabuse (it can make you extremely sick if you drink so it's a good deterrant, even any alcohol in food or medicines can affect you), I had to be dry two days before starting it, they were two bloody long days, and really hard days at work too. But I made it and now I've started on the meds I know I can't drink. It feels really weird. I feel rather lonely, drink has given me a lot of support over the years but I know I can't keep going, one drink is lovely but it's NEVER one drink, I'm lucky if it's one bottle never mind one drink. Trying not to think about the coming summer, I love to sit outside the pub after a dog walk with hubby or friends, but as I say, it never stops at a social drink, I might have one at the pub, but then it's straight to the offie for a bottle or three. I am just not capable of social drinking. I know I am a better person all round when I'm not drinking but it's a scary thought. Thinking about our summer hols, all the sorts of situations where I can't imagine doing them without a drink. Feel v anxious. I have to wait now to get to the top of the list for psychotherapy. I don't want to stop drinking but I know I have to if I want to live past 50. Drink is an emotional anaesthetic for me - when i drink, it takes my mind of the pain and futility of living. It's how i feel when i don't drink that makes me think I need therapy.
ANyway i just needed to talk and think, so thanks for listerning :)

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by maximus » 23 Mar 2011 15:41

starry thanks for your words i was on the 7 day im back on it now!!!!!! im trying to cut down to four beers on a sunday evening after golf if that doesnt work i'll have to stop completly

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Ladysnoops
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Ladysnoops » 23 Mar 2011 16:33

tetsmom, I wondered where you had gone off to.......welcome back ;)? Sorry that you are having a rough time, but you are doing the right thing by getting on the meds. I know all to well about how we feel that alcohol is our friend. IT REALLY, REALLY is not :evil: But just like all other addictions, we love if for how it makes us feel (at least temporarily) and we block out the extreme dangers (health, relationships, etc...) that it brings in to our life. Please know that I am thinking of you and understand how you are feeling. Of course you know that you are not alone on Bright Eyes. We are all in this battle together and it is a battle my dear so I know that you are probably feeling pretty beat up and weary about now. Have strength and lean on us as much as you need.........WE ARE HERE FOR YOU <:)> <:)> <:)>

XOXOXO

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by tetsmom2 » 23 Mar 2011 16:58

Bless you me dear thanks <:)> Funny, being sober at work today, I have got sooooo much done today. I can be calm and logical and can prioritise without my emotions getting in the way. I always get loads done at work sober. Hubby is working away today, prob not back till 8pm, it feels like a totally new experience wondering what I will do till he gets back - play with the dogs, watch TV, surf online, dunno really. Normnally it would be go to the offie, go home, shout at the dogs then feel guilty, pour a pint of wine and vodka and go slump on the bed with a DVD. Bloody 'orrible, but it meant I didn't have to think or feel. My main problem is finding something which will help me 'switch off' like booze did - something i can lose myself in. In past posts here I used to talk about taking up painting again, but never did owt about it. maybe I will try that. For the near future, I will just do whatever makes me feel good, as long as it's not got booze or anything illegal in it ;)

I have bought a real treat for myself for when I stopped drinking - I looooooooooove coconut water, you get it in far eastern-type restaurants etc in cans like coke, I bought 3 cases of it from my local indian cash and carry, really cheap, and that is my non-alcoholic treat to myself :)

OK, time to knock off from work and go home to my dear, long suffering but still loving doggies :)

Catch you tomorrow guys :)

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (NO GENERAL CHAT PLEASE

Post by Beebee » 23 Mar 2011 19:05

Today I have not resisted, today I am drinking more than I want to but can't stop... was gonna have one glass of wine when I got back from my work meal but now on my second, not sure if this is sos but just needed to say something....
Thanks

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