Online Alcohol Therapy |  Do you need professional help? |  Alcoholism & Recovery Articles |  Self Help Resources

Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Locked
User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8101
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Ladysnoops » 13 Jun 2011 15:00

Helped very much Dab and thanks for your quick reply <:)> Yes, I think it is the past that makes me anxious. If I have not fixed the problem yet, what makes me think I can eventually fix it (at least that is what was going on in my head this morning). Often for me, it seems that the desire for a drink just "hits me". It's not like there is something that leads up to it and I can reason with myself for a period of time....although that has happened on occassion. I think I have only recently convinced myself that I really cannot have only one or two drinks, because although I might do that and be fine for the moment....soon afterwards (might be the next day even :shock: ), I will have a binge :oops: . Anyway....as we all say...one day at a time is very powerful so just need to keep on truckin down the road.

Thanks again my lovely friend. I can always count on you <:)> <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

User avatar
Willy
Posts: 58
Joined: 28 Mar 2011 07:37
Last Drink Date: 24 Dec 2012
Location: Virginia
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Willy » 13 Jun 2011 15:40

Hello Linda,

I too have a good job, family, and few would guess that I usually pour 10 units of alcohol down my gullet each evening between dinner and bed. Though I've known that this is a problem I've lived with it for years because I was worried that if I solved the problem I would never be able to drink again. What's now different for me is that I believe I don't want to take another drink again. Reasons for this change of perspective?

1) Nightly binges getting worse not better
2) Children getting older
3) Reading/viewing Allen Carr / Chris McCully / Days of Wine and Roses. Each tell a different booze story with basically the same ending: Sober is better
4) Increasing awareness that service to something larger than self is critical to sustained well being. Service to God, family, community. Ironically then the first priority is to take care of myself so that I can then best serve others. My service is not very productive when I'm blasted or hungover. And drinking is self-serving in the long- and short-run. I don't mind a little pleasure, but I'm coming to prefer healthy pleasure.

And by the way, I'm going to my first AA meeting this afternoon and am looking forward to it.

You're not alone.
Last edited by Willy on 13 Jun 2011 16:25, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8101
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Ladysnoops » 13 Jun 2011 15:53

Thanks Willy! Wow, it is so wonderful to have my Bright Eyes friends who can help through these tough times. I agree with everything you have said. I have read the Allen Carr book and really got a lot out of it. Might need to read it again. I've heard many say that sometimes it helps to read it at certain times during our road to sobriety and this might be one of those times I should re-read it. Have not read the other two, but will do so.

Please let me know how your first AA meeting goes. I'm not sure I could do AA. I believe very much in what they stand for and what they do, just not sure I could get up in a group of folks and talk about my problem with booze. That's what makes Bright Eyes so great for me, I can talk about it freely without being embarrassed or afraid. But I would be interested in seeing what your thoughts are after you have gone to a few meetings.

Thanks again for your wise words my new Virginia friend <:)> <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

User avatar
Sandy
Posts: 8357
Joined: 20 Aug 2009 23:41
Last Drink Date: 21 Aug 2009
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Sandy » 13 Jun 2011 16:23

Hi Linda
That panicky feeling is just horrible is'nt it? even when it's gone it leaves us worried and shaken up for quite some time afterwards
I have found 2 completely opposite things that work for me following a bout of anxiety/panic
Either
Exercise, like a class where you have to join in ? zumba
or
Rest and pampering, a good book and some chocolate

You asked:
"For those of you who have sustained long periods of sobriety, do you ever get to the point where you really don't worry that you will want another drink some day?
I want so badly to get to that point, but not sure if I ever will"
Not sure if I qualify to answer Linda , been dry for almost 22 months now but heres my thoughts.
I try not to allow myself to worry about it!. I have no idea what lies ahead of me. So every day I just try and think "No I dont want to have any booze today" and try my best to do that.
I really really dont think any further ahead (with my drinking anyway) than the present day. Yes there are days, weeks now, where it never crosses my mind, some days when it is a very mild irritating thought (only a thought) and there are days where that damn scunner of an EAF parks her sorry ass right beside me and sets up home!!!
I think though that this could be said for all of us, but we are all different, with different approaches to this damn alcohol business.
I always think that giving up while it never gets easy it definetly gets easier
Ehm! not sure if I have helped you much here Linda
Stay strong, your anxiety/panic is only an emotion, a feeling (not pleasant I know) but it will pass my lovely and you will feel more at ease tomorrow
take care Linda
you are doing great
Sandy

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8101
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Ladysnoops » 13 Jun 2011 16:32

Thanks Sandy <:)> Your post brought tears to my eyes (good ones tho :) ). I am such a planner...have to be with my job. So I am always thinking about the future....guess that is one reason I have such a hard time not thinking about a "drink of the future" :o I need to learn that even though I can plan my life and think forward, when it comes to drinking, thinking forward is completely off limits :evil:

I do think things have become easier for me since joining Bright Eyes (thanks to great folks like you), but they are still not easy. And don't we all want that easy fix that simply does not exist? :(

Luckily for me it has been fairly busy here at work today (in between my BE's posts ;) ) so the anxiety has subsided some. And as always, I will work my arse off when I get home (90 minutes of exercising) so that will help. Then will get my herbal tea and my mindless book and hopefully wake up tomorrow in a bit of a better frame of mind :D

Thanks again for your wise words....they mean so much to me <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

User avatar
silvergirl
Posts: 4043
Joined: 07 Sep 2009 12:04
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by silvergirl » 13 Jun 2011 16:36

ah linda, i don't have time for a long post, (and not sure i've got any wisdom to impart, anyway!) but can get the waking up feeling anxious bit. have a few hugs. <:)> <:)> <:)>

best wishes,
sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8101
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Ladysnoops » 13 Jun 2011 17:04

Thanks sgx! Hugs right back at ya <:)> <:)> <:)>

It is so nice to know that I am not alone in these feelings!

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

mai
Posts: 1865
Joined: 15 Apr 2011 15:19
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by mai » 13 Jun 2011 17:32

Hey my bouncy snoopy friend <:)> - sorry you are having a bad day - the anxious feelings are wretched aren't they - hope you are feeling safer and happier real soon - enjoy your herbal tea and book..
I can't give any information on the long term sobriety as I am not that long - but you have been given some great advice.. Stick with it lovely <:)>
Mai
xxx
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it..
Scars remind us where we’ve been. They don’t have to dictate where we’re going

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8101
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Ladysnoops » 13 Jun 2011 20:19

Thanks mai! Been a lovely day....so much caring and support from all my BE friends <:)> Truly don't know what I would do without you wonderful guys and gals! Now I'm looking forward to going home soon, doing my normal nightly routine and then posting on the "I haven't had a drink today" thread :D


GIANT HUGS to everyone.....you made my scary day so much less scary and I feel tons better <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

LilouBlue
Posts: 236
Joined: 10 Jun 2011 13:20
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by LilouBlue » 13 Jun 2011 22:08

Just hit me...my bf really left me. Omg...am breaking

User avatar
Shelsey
Posts: 1567
Joined: 21 May 2011 18:58
Last Drink Date: 14 Jun 2013
Location: On a hill in Surrey........
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 13 Jun 2011 22:21

L it's okay - have failed tonight on the drinking front - split up with my fiance in April and still can't believe it. Most days I just pretend I dont care but ton of bricks time today - why oh why? Am here sweetheart xx you are not alone xxxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

User avatar
chriscole
Posts: 3397
Joined: 02 Apr 2010 15:38
Last Drink Date: 12 Nov 2014
Location: south cambridgeshire
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by chriscole » 13 Jun 2011 22:35

stuck in a rutt, drinking daily again. every morning i decide not to drink that day but then my eaf turns me around and i buy beer for the evening. strugglin to find an answer.
2017 challenge member #34 !!!

User avatar
london bloke
Posts: 1244
Joined: 26 Jul 2010 11:25
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by london bloke » 13 Jun 2011 22:38

You are not alone, L & S.

Been single for a year, and God it can feel lonely still; but stark reality (sober reality ) is better than ignoring relationship problems, in my experience. I think ... feel the pain, acknowledge it - the only way for it to get better.

Buddhist phrase - what we resist, persists.

Water, bath, bed, bit of a cry, or bit of a dance round your handbag - would these help?
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

User avatar
Shelsey
Posts: 1567
Joined: 21 May 2011 18:58
Last Drink Date: 14 Jun 2013
Location: On a hill in Surrey........
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 13 Jun 2011 22:52

I wish it would LB - am not drunk really not but I wish I was royally and completely - as it is I am still sensible to know I have to get up and do this job stuff tomorrow - dammit I wish sometimes I was a proper drunk again and could just wallow in bed and drink lots .... Pissit
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

LilouBlue
Posts: 236
Joined: 10 Jun 2011 13:20
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by LilouBlue » 13 Jun 2011 22:55

Thanx.
Gonna have just water now.
But omg, he left me.
Omg.

User avatar
Shelsey
Posts: 1567
Joined: 21 May 2011 18:58
Last Drink Date: 14 Jun 2013
Location: On a hill in Surrey........
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 13 Jun 2011 23:07

But the mundane things are my life now - and it is not enough it just isnt enough - I miss him xxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

LilouBlue
Posts: 236
Joined: 10 Jun 2011 13:20
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by LilouBlue » 13 Jun 2011 23:11

Shelsey....know what you mean...my bf left me today

User avatar
Shelsey
Posts: 1567
Joined: 21 May 2011 18:58
Last Drink Date: 14 Jun 2013
Location: On a hill in Surrey........
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 13 Jun 2011 23:23

BE thank you I was staggered and moved to London to be near my job. No friends here at all and lost my - albeit very humble - home. Nobody I know here xxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

User avatar
london bloke
Posts: 1244
Joined: 26 Jul 2010 11:25
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by london bloke » 13 Jun 2011 23:51

Shelsey and Lilou,

I hope its helpful to write it down here, like just how you are feeling.
I am tired and not sure i am making sense - but on a thread just now i saw someone said we can 'bottle' up our valid emotions.

Shelsey - i do understand your 'wish' to be royally drunk. But it's an ALTERNATIVE* to feeling raw emotion, not a solution. Pain, regret, feelings of loneliness, concern about future relationships - these are all very valid things to express, not bottle up. This is a safe place to practice.

Lilou - what can I say? Not much use. It's too raw. But all wounds heal.

Peace out to all who are suffering tonight.

*(I think it's a bad alternative to real emotion.... but i have used it to anaesthetise myself, so I am not lecturing)
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

LilouBlue
Posts: 236
Joined: 10 Jun 2011 13:20
Contact:

Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by LilouBlue » 14 Jun 2011 00:05

Omg. Cannot do this right now.

Locked