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Old SOS - Archived

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
tetsmom2
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by tetsmom2 » 03 Jun 2011 20:48

To all of you, I'm sorry for using BE as a dumping ground for my self obsessed, self pity filled whinges and for not getting myself sorted out by now. I really am trying to move forward with my life, but its not fair to come here wittering on and on about how hard I have it. I wasn't trying to get pity, I just need to talk to someone, but its not fair you you all to keep coming here boring and angering you with my monologues. I'll try not to post again until I've got myself sorted out.

Maria
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Maria » 03 Jun 2011 20:52

That would be a shame Tetsmum..post as much as you like ...there will always be someone there for you <:)> ...Maria
Never stop trying... Never stop believing .. Never give up .. Your day will come !

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faith
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by faith » 03 Jun 2011 21:39

tetsmom2 wrote:To all of you, I'm sorry for using BE as a dumping ground for my self obsessed, self pity filled whinges and for not getting myself sorted out by now. I really am trying to move forward with my life, but its not fair to come here wittering on and on about how hard I have it. I wasn't trying to get pity, I just need to talk to someone, but its not fair you you all to keep coming here boring and angering you with my monologues. I'll try not to post again until I've got myself sorted out.
43, great job, amazing kids and an awesome albehim heavy drinker husband, I joined this forum a couple of years ago - I have posted on and off over the years as I manage my daily battle with the demon drink. Low self esteem and GAD were so effectively controlled by Pinot; the self conscious and anxious woman became a great laugh and good time party girl - over the years the binges became a 10 yr bottle of wine a night habit which became 2 at the weekends and recently increased to 1.5 during the week. I have been on and off the wagon since joining BE (my on times motivated by you guys on here). More time off but by checking in here every day I have found the motivation to keep getting back on. I dont log in or post very often because my addictive personality makes the forum my new addiction which gives me little space away from my continual internal will I/wont I dialogue and low self esteem means that when I fall off the wagon I'm too ashamed to say!!! However, I have the link to this site on my phone and check in every day. 14 days on the wagon at the moment and an aching liver, 5 extra stone of Pinot weight around my middle and at 43 an increasing sense of my own mortality mean I hope that this will be my last attempt. I wanted to post today because this forum has kept me motivated to keep trying, stopped me feeling so alone in this fight and even helped me feel normal :) We people with alcohol problems are continually judging, blaming and shaming ourselves; this is a safe place for us and I for one need to read the posts and ups and downs of all of those of you who post here. Guess what I'm trying to say Tetsmom is dont be deterred by a few harsh words and a little tough love, perhaps misjudged or misplaced.

Stay, keep posting and keep fighting - there are more of us relying on you all than you know <:)>
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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caroline95
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by caroline95 » 03 Jun 2011 22:00

Wow.Faith, that's one of the best posts I've ever read on BE, and I've been around for quite a while.Much respect to you.

Beverley
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Beverley » 03 Jun 2011 22:13

Hi Faith
Thanks for sharing your thoughts (OMG sorry that wasn't meant to sound like AA!).

It is hard sometimes to find someone and somewhere to pour out your feelings to isn't it. Family are sometimes the worst it seems. So where do you go. Here? Great post.

Bev x
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

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enoughisenough
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by enoughisenough » 03 Jun 2011 22:14

agreed (::)
Yesterday I was clever, I wanted to change the world. Today I am wiser and am changing myself ~ Rumi

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Shelsey
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 03 Jun 2011 22:28

Tetsmum - I think Digga just meant if your way of life is making you so miserable, it may be time to change things. We only have one life and we have to make it the best life we can. Digga is cool and a nice guy - helped me out in the past for sure.

We all feel sorry for ourselves - I do tonight, cos I split with the man I truly love, lost my home in the process and feel bloody lonely. To be honest I am quite jealous of you!

I have heard so many people threaten to leave BE because of one comment or another - that is just wearing a hair shirt - or worse trying to make everybody else have a go at the person who made the comment. Get your chin up and make some plans to change things to make your life happier... That is after all what we are all in here for, to try to make our lives a better place. X
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

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Shelsey
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 03 Jun 2011 22:32

Enfin - are you ok? Hope you got checked out - bound to be nothing major but you just cant ignore your body signals sometimes.... Love and strength and keep us informed xxxxxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

Beverley
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Beverley » 03 Jun 2011 22:38

Shelsey
You are so right about one slight being enough to send you off. Tets I am sure you will be OK. It would not be the same without you.

Yes, wonder how Enfin is. Have to go to be now as so tired but will be thinking of her.

Love to all Bev x
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

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emma
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by emma » 03 Jun 2011 23:03

Tetsmum xx please dont stop posting

The thing I love about this forum is that you can put a post out there, how your feeling, or what to do about something, and you will get post's back from people who try in some way to help.

We all are going through different issues and problems and sometimes someone is gonna perhaps post a reply back, that we could perhaps take the wrong way. It's no ones fault, were human and this is always gonna happen, but we shouldn't take it to heart and stop posting. That would be harmfull to our well being, as it's a life line to just post and share how we are feeling. Take what you can from the reply's and try and turn them into positive thoughts and suggestions. Were all just trying to help each other in this rotten cycle of addiction, and we dont want to upset each other xxx

Please stay with us!!!!!!!! xxxxxx <:)> <:)>
AF 2011 No. 55

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silvergirl
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by silvergirl » 03 Jun 2011 23:09

hi tetsmom. sorry to hear you're feeling a bit overwhelmed. how long have you been sober for? i remember feeling like i was still wading through treacle about six weeks in the first time i gave up alcohol for any length of time, our bodies are readjusting, bigstyle, and it does take time. i hope the antidepressants kick in and that you turn a corner soon. what is it they say about the darkest hour being before dawn? try not to get too worked up about all the stuff that needs doing, i find when i look at the bigger picture, it gets too much and i am somewhat crippled. start small, and let the bigger picture worry about itself until you feel able to deal with it.

i think that one of the points digga may have been making was about your use of the sos thread. you will see at the header that it says "no general chat please". are you:

a) going to drink,
b) going to kill yourself
c) going to kill somebody else
d) in severe physical ill health or mental distress because of your use or discontinuation of alcohol?

posting here will get you a response, fast, because it is the sos thread, that is what it's for. often, if i have be on in the background but am not really posting, and someone comes on sos i will read that post to see if they need assistance there and then. it seems to me as though, whilst your post was obviously very important to you, (and quite rightly so, don't discount your problems as being any lesser than anyone elses, they're your problems honey, and they're real), it may not strictly speaking have been an emergency?

obviously it is not up to me to dictate where you may or may not post (that would be ludicrous! :lol: ) but there is a thread called general support and chat, as well as the challenge threads. i know you've said before you don't want to do the challenge threads because you are worried you will "fail" them, but they really are a great way to get to know people, who also get to know you and what's going on in your day to day life. take a look at the 4 week challenge thread (under sobriety challenges above this thread). on there, at the moment, is some of the best support i've seen on be for ages, a really nice sub group, getting on and helping each other every day.

anyway. hope it pans out for ya shortly. good luck.

sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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silvergirl
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by silvergirl » 03 Jun 2011 23:12

enfin - did you seek medical assistance? i strongly urge you to do so, internal bleeding is not good at all.

was the blood brightly coloured, or darker? i don't know where i heard this so don't quote me on it but if it's darker it can be indicative of stomach bleeding, (perhaps an ulcer?), which would maybe make sense given your eating habits. brighter red blood (i think) comes from lower down the digestive tract, like intestine or colon.

however, i am NOT a medical professional, and i really hope that you phoned the australian equivalent of nhs direct last night.

if you are able to, please give us an update.

best wishes,
sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

Enfin
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Enfin » 04 Jun 2011 09:31

Hi guys,

Sorry for freaking out like that on you - I had no one else to tell.
I didn't rush off to hospital or anything - what could they have done there and then ?
I've bled many many times, but I was shocked there was so much when I hadn't even been drinking.
I'm supposed to have regular colonoscopies as my father died from bowel cancer and it's true I've been putting it off for too long - out of fear I guess. But better to know than not hey. I'll make an appt with the specialist on Monday.
I've made the first step in caring about my health by not drinking, but it's time I take responsibility and check out everything and not do my usual thing of just hoping it will go away. Thanks for caring, I appreciate it.

I haven't read all the way back yet - but kinda get the gist of the conversations. I agree the sos thread is really for those in urgent need, there's always someone on line at any hour - thankfully !, but I wanted to say Tetsmom, I rant and rave on this forum practically everyday - I have no one else to talk to, but I tend to post in many different threads that are relevant for me - there's one for kids/families, divorce, depression, heaps !. Although I don't really post in the challenge threads, I do in the cutting down and the road to abstinence threads. They're fantastic - lots of support and understanding and you can write as much as you want to. So don't leave - just find your niche - there's a place for everyone here ok ?

Thank you everyone for being the wonderfully kind and generous people you all are !
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ( Nelson Mandela )

Beverley
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Beverley » 04 Jun 2011 09:39

Enfin
So relieved you are OK. We have been worrying over here!

I do so hope you get that appointment asap. Don't be afraid please. My dad got bowel cancer at 78 and he is fighting fit (I use the term loosley!) at 86!! I too shall have to watch my lower end so I'm right there with you.

Much love and stay strong. Bev x
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

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Shelsey
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Shelsey » 04 Jun 2011 10:14

Enfin am so glad you are seeing the doc - keep us posted.

Silvergirl bravo in saying in a post what I ramblingly didnt! I know there are a few of us who keep an eye on SOS because we remember the worst times - I just want to make sure I can hold somebody's hand the way you all did that sad lonely Sunday when I wanted to die.....

If you are desperate and reading this, we do check in - you are not alone and we care and, most importantly, understand. There is nothing you are feeling/have done that we have not felt / done worse. We are here for you - we are your BE family xxxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

gladmorn
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by gladmorn » 04 Jun 2011 16:02

Hi All, I'm on day 18 and I knew today would be a problem as husband away and brother stayed last night but now gone. Well I've been hit, not necessarily by a ton of bricks but more like a freefalling feeling now that my brother has gone. I am alone and able to drink if I want. And drink I do want. I want wine, white wine, cold, outside, somewhere relaxing like a pub garden or even park. I want to taste the coolness and feel the warming sensation as the coolness turns to heat whilst it's going down. I want to lose myself for an afternoon, not drunk but just tipsy, laughing and playing with my daughter, full of beans and fun.

But it won't be like that will it? Probably not. I will feel shit afterwards and tomorrow, if not from the hangover of, say, a bottle of wine that will hit me more as I haven't got any resistance built up but more from the shame perhaps or just lack of pride in myself. I don't know how it's going to go yet. I know I should ring someone but I just can't speak on the phone when I feel like this really. It's like the craving squeezes my throat and stops me from speaking. I don't feel totally lost yet and on my scale of 1 to 10, I'd say the craving was only hitting a maximum of 8 and not all the time but it's not so much the craving but the fact that noone is here except my daughter so sometime today I could quite merrily pop to the shop and buy a bottle of wine, get down a glass and pour it full, turn on the TV once she's gone to bed and lie on the sofa, letting my brain be gently calmed and soothed by the alcohol.
Last edited by gladmorn on 04 Jun 2011 16:10, edited 1 time in total.

Beebee
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Beebee » 04 Jun 2011 16:10

Hi gladmore,
Sorry to hear what you are going through, I had massive battle with EAF the other night it's so hard this but the more times we beat it, the easier it will get, have you eaten recently? How about stuffing a load of food down, that might help? I downed a pint of tonic water the other night which helped me a bit :?
Is there something else you can do to relax? How about a long candle lit bath, do you have any hobbies at all??
Hope you are ok.. I will be around for a while if you want to chat.
Take care, Shields up Gladmore!
Beebee <:)>

gladmorn
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by gladmorn » 04 Jun 2011 16:11

I've taken your advice and a sausage sandwich on its merry way beebee.

Beebee
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by Beebee » 04 Jun 2011 16:13

Ooo now I'm jealous! Love sausages, can't get decent ones where I live, when me and hubby go back to the UK we eat them every day!!! :o
Any fried onions with that?
Beebee x

gladmorn
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need Help (No General Chat Please

Post by gladmorn » 04 Jun 2011 16:39

Actually they're vegetarian sausages so I reckon you're not so jealous now! No onions as couldn't be bothered - ketchup though! Actually feel a bit more human. It's not the worst craving I've had but it's knowing I CAN if you know what I mean.

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