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July General Support and Chat

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Denise1973
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Denise1973 » 28 Jul 2011 01:56

TomC123 wrote:
Denise1973 wrote:Tom

PM me with your number and I will do a full financial health check and steer you in the right direction.

I wouldn't be comfortable giving you or anyone online, my phone number, so I'll have to politely decline! As Day points out, why not post some links on the board for all of us to see?

I think I should have re-written what I wrote re CAB. I don't like the CAB. I also don't particularly like CCCS as they are funded by the banks.........so guess which creditor gets their money first?

Hmm. I realise CCCS are partly funded by the banks. However, the CCCS have advised me to offer *all* of my creditors (including my ex - Girlfriend) £1.00 per month token payments, until my situation improves. While I do want to repay my ex, at the same time I don't want to be dishonest and leave her off my I&E form for CCCS.

There are other things about different organisations that have their advantages and disadvantages. I will be able to give you some sound direction.

As for your ex girlfriend, there are ways and means of paying her back without anyone knowing. She should not be apart of your debt in their eyes at this time.

I don't agree with that. I want everything to be out in the open with the Insolvency Service, that's for sure!

Cheers
Thanks, but as before, why not post the info for all of us to see on the board?
I just saw this post after I wrote the previous one. It all seems confusing as you mention token payments until your situation improves and then you mention insolvency service which means you plan to go bankrupt. Which one is it?

If bankrupcy is on the agenda then your friend will get nothing if you don't have any assets and as your general debt is much higher and hers is so small. As it was not originally a contractual arrangement, you just made it one by asking her to write the debt on a piece of paper and declaring it.

I appreciate not giving a phone number online. Normally people snap my hand off but that would be in different circumstances. I didn't think that through, I was just trying to help. Karma and all that.

If your situation is that you are offering token payments, the CCCS are pretty much the best option because their financial costs are covered.

The same applies for anyone with debt who, at the end of the month when they pay their essential expenses, have zero money to pay their creditors.

Denise1973
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Denise1973 » 28 Jul 2011 10:27

Day wrote:Tom, was chatting with a friend who is an Insolvency Practitioner, and of course doing very well currently out of most other people's financial woes, and he mentioned a loophole which has not yet been closed. Student debt of course survives bankruptcy/DROs. But if you have access to any credit and pay off part or all of your student loan with that, then go bankrupt/DRO...well that's another issue... I am fully expecting that loophole to close as the fees rise.

Denise is absolutely right, there are great advisers out there. Just do NOT pay anyone. There are a lot of a*#$holes making money out of your debt. Some are deeply unscrupulous about the charges you face and don't reveal them early on. I've not come across a really good national free outfit, have been disappointed with a couple of the referrals I've heard of, so would be interested in that info myself Denise, as my knowledge is restricted to my geographical area.

Using a line of credit to pay off another line of credit and then going bankrupt is "obtaining a pecuniary advantage by deception". It is not a loop hole, it is fraud. Jail time. Thats dodgy advice. I have heard of some Insolvency Practitioners encouraging customers to take pay day loans to cover the bankrupcy fees only to add the pay day loan to the bankrupcy. Thats low man.

Also loans cannot be paid off with credit cards. They can only be paid off with money in your current account i.e cash of your own or a loan from another lender. With each loan you have to declare the purpose of the loan to help prevent this kind of fraud or money laundering.

As for paying someone. I offered free advice off my own back. That doesn't mean that if you speak to the right person you should not pay. In Toms case he does not have any money so he has to rely on what he can get. Unfortunately in many professions, you will get the charlatans but that does not mean that there are not genuine practitioners out there. People who go out of their way and want to help people and ofcourse charge a fee. Word of mouth is a good place to start. As the saying goes....you get what you pay for.
Last edited by Denise1973 on 28 Jul 2011 13:19, edited 1 time in total.

Denise1973
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Denise1973 » 28 Jul 2011 13:01

caroline95 wrote:Tom, I think it's amazing that you're dealing with so many problems at the same time and still staying sober.I can't add much to the excellent practical advice others have posted, but I can send you one of these <:)> along with my very best wishes.I can also recommend Freecycle, I use it a lot and it's been a godsend.

Denise and Zara - I've been taking Antabuse for 5 weeks now and my only regret is that I didn't do it years ago.800mg seems like a huge dose to me, but I suppose different doctors have their own ideas.I started out on 200mg a day, but now I just take one 200mg tablet every other day.To be honest, I think I'd be fine taking one a week, but don't want to get over-confident too soon.I don't want to become an Antabuse bore, so I'll just say it's worked like a dream for me - I've posted about it on the Cutting Down thread, and there's some useful information on the Prescription Meds thread too, if you're interested.
Thanks Caroline, will look at that. I feel the same. Don't know why I didn't do it years ago. What do you mean by an Antabuse bore?

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KraftyKat
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by KraftyKat » 28 Jul 2011 13:36

Belated congratulations to Laura for The Pouring Of The Wine Down The Sink *handing over a be-ribboned certificate*

(::) (::) (::) (::)
KK
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor

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caroline95
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by caroline95 » 28 Jul 2011 13:52

Hi Denise - I just meant I don't want to bore people by going on about Antabuse too much!Although it's by far the best thing I've ever done in terms of my health, I know it's not for everyone.I do keep thinking about why I didn't look into it years ago - but hey, better late than never.I'm glad it's working well for you too (::)

Denise1973
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Denise1973 » 28 Jul 2011 14:30

Ah Caroline, I see. I haven't told anyone about the pill. I have mentioned that I am going to go tee total for six months. I thought if they questioned it I would just say its my decision to be tee total for six months. My life is better as I am concentrating on other things such as weight issues, healthy life style and business.

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Shelsey
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Shelsey » 28 Jul 2011 19:07

Posted this on SOS to help a mate, but wanted to share with you..... I have had a mad day, have told destructive landlord I am moving out on 1st Sept, have made appt with CAB to sort out debt, spoke to OH (occupational health to avoid confusion!) and told them I want to take action against bullying bosses. So I may be homeless soon and broke, but I am not drinking, have no desire to and feel really good!!!
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

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George
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by George » 28 Jul 2011 19:23

Hey Shelsey

That sounds good, a really positive move forward. Best of luck with every bit ahead <:)>
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

roledog33
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by roledog33 » 28 Jul 2011 19:54

shelsey,
Wow!!! That's a lot to handle. And looks like you are doing an outstanding job!!! Best of luck with your endeavors!

roledog33
An alcoholic will always need a drink; a drunk will always have one.

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thetodolist
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by thetodolist » 28 Jul 2011 20:34

Hey Shelsey, so good to hear you sounding so positive about tackling things that are going on for you :) How are you feeling in yourself 11 (Is thats right?) days down the line? You seem to be handling it all so well! I know we havent spoken much but i just wanted to congratulate you!! :D (::) Its brilliant how much youre helping other people on here too!

Im having a pretty tough one today, desperately want a drink, feeling pretty low and just feel like im sinking further and further. Know i ought to just go to bed but i cant face the thought of dealing with tomorrow :( Urgh, im in such a spiral of despair and unnessesary self pity today. My housemates have been really great and listened to me whinge for ages but i worry about putting my issues onto them and dont want to bring them down with me. - I feel like that with you guys too, like im just droning on and wittering. Really feel like i have to get it out tonight though or im going to crack :?

Hope everyone's doing ok, Amy x
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.

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Shelsey
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Shelsey » 28 Jul 2011 20:47

Hey Amy - it's okay to have bad days.... I have had hundreds of them. All I can say is it WILL get better and I am going nowhere this evening so am happy if you feel like a good old Winge!! I have had some really good news tonight - won't sort out the money or anything, but it will make my life 1000 times happier.

You wont believe how many wonderful things are out there that you are going to see and do. Take one day at a time, just one. Don't worry about tomorrow yet - just concentrate on tonight. Watch some rubbish tv, read a book or just post and post. We are right here. You are doing the best you can tonight, so don't beat yourself up about it.... I think you are doing great and you should remember that you are doing your best too. Nobody can ask more of you than that - especially you xxxxx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

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thetodolist
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by thetodolist » 28 Jul 2011 22:35

Hey Shelsey, thanks for your post. Glad to hear you've had good news, you deserve it!

Im exhausted but cant bring myself to go to bed. Im feeling so lonely tonight. Im detoxing off bezodiazepines at the moment and have done another 2mg drop this week... doesnt sounds like much i know but its getting to the tail end and is getting harder with every drop. Ive had my full dose today and still have the rising panick in my chest which usually signals a panick attack on the way. Im trying very hard to stave it off but all i want is a drink. I dont know why it hits us hardeer some days than others, today is day 115, i keep trying to set myself small goals to aim for, 119 will be 1/3 of a year but tonight i dont even feel im going to get there. Shop shuts in 23 minutes... roll on 11pm :?
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.

Laura-ANewStart

Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Laura-ANewStart » 29 Jul 2011 07:49

thetodolist wrote:Hey Shelsey, thanks for your post. Glad to hear you've had good news, you deserve it!

Im exhausted but cant bring myself to go to bed. Im feeling so lonely tonight. Im detoxing off bezodiazepines at the moment and have done another 2mg drop this week... doesnt sounds like much i know but its getting to the tail end and is getting harder with every drop. Ive had my full dose today and still have the rising panick in my chest which usually signals a panick attack on the way. Im trying very hard to stave it off but all i want is a drink. I dont know why it hits us hardeer some days than others, today is day 115, i keep trying to set myself small goals to aim for, 119 will be 1/3 of a year but tonight i dont even feel im going to get there. Shop shuts in 23 minutes... roll on 11pm :?
Hope you are feeling better today day 115 is an AMAZING achievement, keep taking one day at a time...you WILL do it, you CAN do it, you ARE doing it. Sending you a huge hug & congrats on doin so brill \:)/ (::) <:)> <:)>

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Shelsey
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Shelsey » 29 Jul 2011 09:53

Hello all! Just so excited as life is on the up! Hugs and a quick dance around the handbags and manbags...... But today I want suggestions!
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

Laura-ANewStart

Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Laura-ANewStart » 29 Jul 2011 12:02

Hope you aren't keeping those crumpets and coffee to yourself Tom!!! ;)

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Shelsey
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Shelsey » 29 Jul 2011 19:54

I bloody HATE Friday nights - could murder a drink...... Sigh but I won't... So bloody lonely tonight, daft cow......
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

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Shelsey
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Shelsey » 29 Jul 2011 19:56

Come on Shelsey you miserable old cow, sort yourself out....... Sorry chaps xx
Aka STB - new name, still as much trouble!
AF 2012 #32

Friends lost to alcohol:
Michael - 11/09/11 - You were a beautiful person and I will miss you so much

Laura-ANewStart

Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Laura-ANewStart » 29 Jul 2011 20:12

Shelsey wrote:Come on Shelsey you miserable old cow, sort yourself out....... Sorry chaps xx
Hey chuck, I feel the same, fridays always consisted of takeaway wine and dvd...we had the ta, kids watched a dvd and im washing ironing and colouring my hair :o :shock: ... least we not alone eh ;-) xx

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lcd31
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Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by lcd31 » 29 Jul 2011 20:19

Laura-ANewStart wrote:
Shelsey wrote:Come on Shelsey you miserable old cow, sort yourself out....... Sorry chaps xx
Hey chuck, I feel the same, fridays always consisted of takeaway wine and dvd...we had the ta, kids watched a dvd and im washing ironing and colouring my hair :o :shock: ... least we not alone eh ;-) xx
I'm with you both too-i've got the dvd, crisps and a bottle of fizzy water - no sat morning hangover with that. I'm choosing to ignore the ironing til tomorrow lol

Laura-ANewStart

Re: July General Support and Chat

Post by Laura-ANewStart » 29 Jul 2011 20:29

Actually you know what icd...i have to be up with the birdies tomorrow we are off to a Zoo so gna get there early and you are right there will be no smelly hangover to battle with instead ill be bright n breezy and ready to battle with 4 kids so there is a plus to a quiet fri nite lol hopin! What dvd are you watching? xx

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