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Re: Cutting Down

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Kokoda
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Kokoda » 25 Nov 2018 05:53

Hi Everyone,

(Although it appears there's nobody on here I still thought I would say hi :-). )

Full abstinence isn't working for me at the moment. I drink once a week, but it turns into a binge drinking episode.

I will have to try to find strategies to stop that.

Hope anyone who reads this is going okay in their own battles with the EAF.

Vic
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 25 Nov 2018 12:12

Hi Kokoda, I started out on this thread when I first joined BE.It was busier then, not sure why it's so quiet now.Maybe partly because there's the Personal Goals thread?

Anyway, I'm in a similar position to you at the moment.I drink once a week (mostly Saturday nights), not to binge level (yet), but more than I should - enough to give me a fuzzy head the next day.I don't realistically see myself being totally abstinent this side of Xmas at least, so I'll keep you company if that's ok.I'm glad you posted here this morning, I was close to just slinking away till next year and I know that wouldn't be a good idea.

The tricks I use most to prevent myself from going into binge mode are making sure I have a big meal before I drink in the evening and setting the alarm on my phone to go off when it's time for bed.Otherwise I'm tempted to sit up until the early hours and that never ends well.Good luck with figuring out what works for you and I hope you keep posting, always better to stick by BE than not, I think.

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Kokoda
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Kokoda » 25 Nov 2018 13:05

Hi Caroline :\:

Glad to see you here too :D

I am of the same thought, I think if I try to stop completely now, when it's so close to Christmas, I might be setting myself up for failure.

I like the idea of the alarm, but I can eat a big meal but still keep drinking, depending on my mood. My 20 year old son went interstate yesterday to spend six weeks with his dad. I miss him already and I worry about him being there because they can clash quite badly. He lived there for a year and a half before moving back late last year. By the time he came home, I was starting to have real concerns around his mental health. It took ages for him to unwind and get better. I'm hoping six weeks won't be anywhere like that.

Sometimes I just wish we could all move to a tropical island and enjoy the sun, surf and relaxed lifestyle, lol.

Hope you have a nice day. I'm not far out of bed here.

Vic x
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 25 Nov 2018 14:50

I hope the visit goes ok for your son Vic, you're bound to worry I expect.It's cold and grey here today and the idea of being on a tropical island does sound quite appealing - is it hot in Oz at this time of year?

I use the DrinkAware app to track my alcohol unit intake too.It does the digital equivalent of shaking it's head and tutting if my units go up.

I hope your day goes well, try not to worry too much.I know that's much easier said than done though.

Jayjay
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Jayjay » 25 Nov 2018 22:05

Hi Caroline and Kokoda,
I'm going to join you. I've been AF for the last 100 or so days and I've been posting daily on the 100 day kickstart thread. Posting really helped me remain AF and the group there are brilliant people. But I'm not sure if I really want to stay AF all the time.My ideal would be to be able to have a glass of wine or two with a meal maybe once a week. Whenever I try this I tend to have more than intended. I had 4 drinks last night (2pints of cider and 2 glasses of wine) instead of the 1 glass I wanted to have. This meant I ate loads of rubbish to offset the alcohol and slept really badly- I also missed my exercise today because I felt groggy. I'm not drinking again until Friday and want to have only a glass or 2 of wine. I like to post everyday as a kind of reminder to stay AF. Hope to get to know you and maybe we'll attract others who want to train themselves how to drink moderately.

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 25 Nov 2018 22:46

Hi Jay, good to meet you and congratulations on completing the 100 days.I think posting regularly is one of the key things for me too - I look forward to getting to know you.I'm planning on staying sober till next Saturday so I'll be checking in every day.

It's so nice to see the thread come to life again :D

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Cowboy
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Cowboy » 25 Nov 2018 22:56

Wishing all the cutting down crew the best. It's a worthy goal.

Didn't we start this thread way back in the Golden Ages Caroline?
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Kokoda
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Kokoda » 25 Nov 2018 23:18

Hi Caroline, welcome Jayjay, hi Cowboy,

I haven't heard of that app, I'll look for it today.

100 days is fantastic Jayjay \:)/ I also struggle with just one or two drinks.

It's supposed to be getting hot, but unfortunately for some reason, global warming has bypassed Perth :evil:

I'm hoping this summer is going to be a lot hotter than the last pathetic attempt by mother nature, lol.

Hope you all sleep well. I'm off to work.

Vic x
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 25 Nov 2018 23:20

Thanks Cowboy, that means a lot.I can't remember if we started the thread but we definitely kept it going for quite a while.I've always been so grateful it existed because in those early days the thought of staying sober for seven days was unthinkable, so it gave me a way of being part of the forum.If I hadn't had this corner of BE I'd never have got to the stage of being sober for a whole year back in 2012, and I've never gone back to the levels of self-destruction I was at when I first joined.

It's great to see you building up a really solid chunk of sober time <:)>

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Jayjay » 26 Nov 2018 16:16

Hi Caroline, Kokoda, cowboy,
Just to be clear I only did 95 days-I had one of those 'I ain't gonna drink no more-ah f**k it bartender you can give me one more' moments. But went back and did another week to pay my dues. I want to be mainly AF and drink moderately on one day a week-including over Christmas! I started the 100 days because alcohol was a daily habit and was affecting my health and fitness. I've exercised every single day since, am back in 32inch jeans and have toned up quite a bit. Determined not to slip back to pudgy dad bod. So today I am AF ()o

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Kokoda
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Kokoda » 26 Nov 2018 17:27

Hi Jayjay,

I'm not normally up at this time of night, but my doorbell alarm got me up, lol.

It sounds like you're doing really well. You must be feeling really good in yourself. I'm trying to diet, but feel that the binge drinking isn't helping. My job is mentally exhausting so my exercise after work consists of bench-pressing my remote control to watch Netflix :D

I'm sure I will get there.

Have a great day.

Vic x
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

http://www.buddhist-temples.com/buddhism-facts/buddhist-quote.html

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 26 Nov 2018 18:31

I'm up and down like a yo-yo with my weight, definitely need to lose some so that's an added incentive for keeping away from the wine.'Pudgy dad bod' made me laugh Jay, it sounds like you've done really well getting back into shape.

Thank goodness for Netflix on these dark winter evenings, it's such a good distraction.I watched the last two episodes of series one of The Sinner last night.Big mistake, I should never watch something as dark and disturbing as that just before bedtime :shock:

It's a sober evening here, I'm looking forward to an early night and waking up without a hangover tomorrow.

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Winkler
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Winkler » 27 Nov 2018 06:56

Hi everybody
I also struggle staying abstinent forever. It’s about the socialising for me, although last weekend I reverted back to my old drinking wine on Saturday night at home habit, after 2 days of drinking moderately at ‘events’
I could hear myself slurring on the phone :oops:

Feeling fine this Tuesday morning and was looking forward to an AF weekend but then realised I have another date Saturday night. I think I probably would have gone but secretly dreaded it had I been AF - some events just aren’t that enjoyable when everyone else is having a drink in my experience, however much I try. I end up feeling trapped, bored and resentful.

I think I have learned to drink less though, start later, slow it down and eat with it. Last Friday I truly didn’t want any more even when someone else suggested another bottle as I was full. Having less tolerance helps with that.

Drinking at home is my downfall though. I know even when I do it that I’ll regret it and am resisting the ‘glass of wine watching strictly’ mentality that’s prevalent in the office. A glass? Who are we trying to kid :roll:

I also struggle losing weight. I’m trying a diabetic diet approach this week as I’m bored of other ways. So far it’s been good - no real cravings or compulsive sugar binging. Only been 2 days tho :)
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

Jayjay
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Jayjay » 27 Nov 2018 07:25

AF today. ()o Going to watch football (soccer if you're in Perth!) in the pub tonight but will drive and drink diet coke. I've been meditating every day using the headspace app for last couple of months and this has helped me a lot. I noticed Kokoda has a Buddhist reference and would be interested to hear more.

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 27 Nov 2018 10:31

Morning all, just a quick post to say hi and welcome to the thread Winkler.I'm using my phone and the tiny keyboard is torture to my eyes.

I'd rather not drink anything than have a glass or two.It wouldn't have much affect, just make me crave more.I stick to 11% sparkling wine and usually have a bottle of that plus a mini one, mainly on a Saturday night. I also find the starting later and eating a big meal helps a lot.I don't socialise much in the evenings but I'm quite sure I'd find it really difficult sober.

Enjoy the soccer Jay, have a good day everyone.

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Cowboy
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Cowboy » 27 Nov 2018 10:57

caroline95 wrote:
27 Nov 2018 10:31
I'd rather not drink anything than have a glass or two.
That's my problem in a nutshell. I mean why bother? I drink to get drunk straight case. There is no other way to put it. And that's OK if it's a one off and doesn't happen again for a week or two. Unfortunately, for me once I go down THAT particular path I'm done. No self control whatsoever. In for a penny in for a pound. But that is me not what I am reading here.

The recent posts here don't really seem to point to any real addiction issues. If you can go for a week - drink - then stop for a week or two I don't see a problem. I really don't.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

Jayjay
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Jayjay » 27 Nov 2018 19:14

I think addiction is many faceted- a sliding scale.I have slid up and down that scale at various times in my life. Ok I have never reached for the vodka bottle at 8am. I have never lost complete control of my life, lost my job or gone to prison because of alcohol. But I have drunk surrupticiously, acted badly and even violently, drunk too much day after day after day, affected my health, felt unable to stop drinking for hours. At this moment in time I can drink and stop for a week but I am all too aware that slide is there and I could slide all the way to the bottom given the right circumstances. That's why I'm here.

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Lush4life
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Lush4life » 27 Nov 2018 19:37

Jayjay wrote:
27 Nov 2018 19:14
I think addiction is many faceted- a sliding scale.I have slid up and down that scale at various times in my life. Ok I have never reached for the vodka bottle at 8am. I have never lost complete control of my life, lost my job or gone to prison because of alcohol. But I have drunk surrupticiously, acted badly and even violently, drunk too much day after day after day, affected my health, felt unable to stop drinking for hours. At this moment in time I can drink and stop for a week but I am all too aware that slide is there and I could slide all the way to the bottom given the right circumstances. That's why I'm here.
Agree totally with you and hopefully you can arrest it before it gets that bad, I did not have that good sense and have been that early morning ( indeed through the night drinker :oops: )
No need to let things slide that far , Say's she :shock:
Being here, getting support is very helpful for all , no matter where they are on this path.
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 » 27 Nov 2018 21:11

Thanks for posting what I was thinking Jay - though of course none of us should ever feel that we have to justify why we're here to anyone else.I hope you enjoy the football, just as well you're watching it indoors, it's not the weather to be standing outside for an hour and a half.I got absolutely soaked this afternoon and I'm still feeling a bit soggy.

Netflix and another early night for me, the electric blanket's on already. 8-)

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Leslans
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Leslans » 28 Nov 2018 17:29

Not had chance to read through here but just moving in. I’m good was on 7 day thread but it’s not going to happen. That said this is where I need to be instead of disappearing. Off to yoga but will call in later to catch up on who’s about x
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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