Re: Cutting Down

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SoberBoots
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by SoberBoots »

Jayjay wrote:
03 Dec 2018 13:25
Still wondering why I started drinking again.Fridays binge left me hungover and depressed for 2 days. If it was January Id jump back to 100 day kickstart. Like someone else said December is a tough time to be AF because of all the temptation. Not sure what to do. I used to love alcohol now I hate it with a passion.
There's no good time to stop, and equally no bad time to stop. The temptation is always there anyway, and so's your right and ability to exercise choice. I gave up in the middle of the worst time of year for me (May, the month in which I lost my neice to suicide, my brother to suicide, and my Dad to old age). I used to think I "needed to drink to cope" but I was able to stop once I saw this for the delusion it is. What's the point of telling yourself that you can't cope with temptation (when you know you can, because you have) allowing yourself to drink more and more out of control, and starting January feeling miserable and ill? If you hate alcohol, why drink it? Just to fit in with others? Sod 'em, and show them that you can have a good time without being pissed. You'll be hugely popular as the nominated driver anyway.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Jayjay »

You're right boots. I found the depression quite scary and the thought of starting 2019 I'll and miserable is too much to bear. See you in 100 day kickstart.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by SoberBoots »

Jayjay wrote:
03 Dec 2018 16:37
You're right boots. I found the depression quite scary and the thought of starting 2019 I'll and miserable is too much to bear. See you in 100 day kickstart.
Good call JJ. Lot's of people think they can moderate and find they can't (me included, about a million times over!). The important thing is to learn from the experiemnt. Good luck with 100 days.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 »

silvergirl wrote:
02 Dec 2018 21:26
Hope molly is feeling better today Caroline. <:)>
Thanks SG.Molly's much better today, her meow is almost back to normal.I'm not sure if that's a blessing or a curse when she's waking me up at the break of dawn but I'm very relieved she's ok.

So glad you decided to do the 100 days now instead of waiting, Jay.Imagine how good you'll feel waking up on Xmas morning without that huge cloud of depression hanging over you.Best of luck, December is just another month really, millions of people all over the world will be happily spending it sober.

Busy day here, managed to do loads of stuff that needed doing and really enjoyed the sunny weather.Long may it last 8-)

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

SoberBoots wrote:
03 Dec 2018 15:10
Jayjay wrote:
03 Dec 2018 13:25
Still wondering why I started drinking again.Fridays binge left me hungover and depressed for 2 days. If it was January Id jump back to 100 day kickstart. Like someone else said December is a tough time to be AF because of all the temptation. Not sure what to do. I used to love alcohol now I hate it with a passion.
There's no good time to stop, and equally no bad time to stop. The temptation is always there anyway, and so's your right and ability to exercise choice. I gave up in the middle of the worst time of year for me (May, the month in which I lost my neice to suicide, my brother to suicide, and my Dad to old age). I used to think I "needed to drink to cope" but I was able to stop once I saw this for the delusion it is. What's the point of telling yourself that you can't cope with temptation (when you know you can, because you have) allowing yourself to drink more and more out of control, and starting January feeling miserable and ill? If you hate alcohol, why drink it? Just to fit in with others? Sod 'em, and show them that you can have a good time without being pissed. You'll be hugely popular as the nominated driver anyway.
Jay, glad to hear you're doing the 100 days, that's how I started. (::)

Sally, so sorry to hear about your bereavements, it must of been awful, <:)>

Caroline, Glad to hear that your cat is on the mend. ;)?

I'm still plugging away 1 day at a time.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)
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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 »

Thanks Ruby, nice to meet you.Keep on plugging :D

I'm just plodding along too, I ordered a posh new coffee filter which arrived this morning, so now I'm going to indulge myself and buy some posh coffee to go with it.

I hope everyone is doing ok out there.

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

Hi Caroline, nice to meet you too lol, enjoy your posh coffee. ;)?

I see you're Scottish too, I'm just outside Edinburgh.

Hope everyone is sticking to their goals. (::)

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
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Winkler
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Winkler »

Does posh coffee mean you’re Scottish then? May be it’s a secret code :D

Drunk last sat, would prefer to have kept it at the chatty/happy level but of course carried on. Rubbish on Sunday but will be pleased if I stay AF this weekend as nothing planned socially. I’ve missed my productive and relaxed weekends AF after the last 2 but some of it’s been out of my hands. Well, no, I made the choice to drink of course.

Wish I cud hand on heart say I enjoyed sober nights out but I just don’t.
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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 »

Winkler wrote:
05 Dec 2018 23:32
Does posh coffee mean you’re Scottish then? May be it’s a secret code
I'm genuinely mystified Winkler, what's the connection between posh coffee and being Scottish, what's a secret code, do you mean posh coffee?Am I just being thick?My head hurts :D

I wouldn't fancy going out with other people drinking at all, I think my social drinking association is too ingrained.Luckily I'm a grumpy old woman now with no social life - every cloud and all that.Enjoy your weekend relaxing, I was hoping to go and see the Xmas market in Glasgow but the weather forecast isn't looking hopeful.Maybe Santa will send us a bit of winter sun while there's still time to shop 8-)

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Winkler
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Winkler »

caroline95 wrote:
06 Dec 2018 10:03
[quote=Winkler post_id=857300 time=<a href="tel:1544052775">1544052775</a> user_id=16503]
Does posh coffee mean you’re Scottish then? May be it’s a secret code
I'm genuinely mystified Winkler, what's the connection between posh coffee and being Scottish, what's a secret code, do you mean posh coffee?Am I just being thick?My head hurts :D

I wouldn't fancy going out with other people drinking at all, I think my social drinking association is too ingrained.Luckily I'm a grumpy old woman now with no social life - every cloud and all that.Enjoy your weekend relaxing, I was hoping to go and see the Xmas market in Glasgow but the weather forecast isn't looking hopeful.Maybe Santa will send us a bit of winter sun while there's still time to shop 8-)
[/quote]

:) it was just Ruby’s post following yours - she acknowledged the coffee thing then said she identified with u being Scottish!
I was just being silly

The social thing is the main problem for me - I did have over a year AF once, but in the end was virtually a recluse as I was so bored not drinking when I was out. Going out isn’t everything, for sure, it’s just a small part of life but I do feel I need that ‘bonding’ thing. I certainly get enjoying the grumpy old woman thing with no social life too, it’s quite empowering not having to fit in with others 😀 but I’m trying to have the choice and treading the line of drinking ‘moderately’ at planned events. For something I’ve arranged it’s fine (haven’t done that for a while) but fitting in with others’ plans makes it more difficult sometimes, especially them that like to drink (and who doesn’t 🙄).

And then it’s easy to fall back into the groove of where you were before with your problem isnt it? Still taking it day by day at times - weekends and before days off are my triggers but nothing beats waking up rested and sober without having to jump to anyone else’s tune. I wish my days were longer then.
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

Winkler, you're obviously not a Scot or you'd know what posh coffee meant! I rarely socialize with my old drinking buddies these days, been going to the cinema/theatre instead, fair proud of myself tonight was at the theatre and my friend had a drink but I stuck with a soda and lime, I was driving anyway so didn't have much choice!

Hope everyone is sticking to plan A. ;)?

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Ruby xx
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

Got a letter from the dvla today, I need to see a government doctor before I can get my licence renewed, seriously fed up, it'll be at least another 2 months before they'll make a decision. :x

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Ruby xx
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Re: Cutting Dow

Post by Winkler »

Hi Ruby
I’m English with both Welsh and Irish heritage but I’m afraid I have no Scots in my soul at all and no idea what posh coffee means!

Did you know the name ‘Ruby’ has Jewish connotations? Judaism comes through the female line. For that reason its less traceable but very strong. I love that. It’s subtle.

In the last few years I’ve seen both the English and Scottish Crown Jewels.

Having compared them, I got an understanding of why the English are so hated. Second only to the Americans, within Europe. I haven’t travelled further afield but recognise that the Americans are completely immune to any deeply felt racial injustice. I also stood on the field where once was the battle of bannockburn when I was 7. It was eerie.

If i were you, I think I’d stay sober before your apppointment with the DVLA

It must have been a bad one?

I had a drink tonight. Don’t want to think about tomorrow 👌
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

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Re: Cutting Dow

Post by Bluebottle »

Winkler wrote:
08 Dec 2018 22:01
Hi Ruby
I’m English with both Welsh and Irish heritage but I’m afraid I have no Scots in my soul at all and no idea what posh coffee means!

Did you know the name ‘Ruby’ has Jewish connotations? Judaism comes through the female line. For that reason its less traceable but very strong. I love that. It’s subtle.

In the last few years I’ve seen both the English and Scottish Crown Jewels.

Having compared them, I got an understanding of why the English are so hated. Second only to the Americans, within Europe. I haven’t travelled further afield but recognise that the Americans are completely immune to any deeply felt racial injustice. I also stood on the field where once was the battle of bannockburn when I was 7. It was eerie.

If i were you, I think I’d stay sober before your apppointment with the DVLA

It must have been a bad one?

I had a drink tonight. Don’t want to think about tomorrow 👌
Hi Winkler, can't say I've ever been to Bannockburn. (w) I didn't realise Ruby had Jewish roots, my Ruby was my first cat and Tilly is my current cat. I was hoping to have a drink at Xmas, not sure now, just taking one day at a time. :mrgreen:

Ruby xx
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Winkler
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Winkler »

Sorry x
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

What/who are you apologising for/to?

Ruby xx
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by SoberBoots »

Ruby&Tilly wrote:
08 Dec 2018 18:34
Got a letter from the dvla today, I need to see a government doctor before I can get my licence renewed, seriously fed up, it'll be at least another 2 months before they'll make a decision. :x

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Ruby xx
Can you drive meanwhile?

If you stay sober you'll be able to supply hair and blood results showing that you haven't drunk, and you'll be able to look the Dr in the eye and say that you realised that alcohol was damaging to you and you no longer drink. You'll be nearly a year sober by then, and from reading when my friend lost his licence recently it seems that they look for a year clear.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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caroline95
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by caroline95 »

I hope your head doesn't hurt too much this morning Winkler.

Sorry about your licence Ruby, you must be fed up with it dragging on for so long.

Well I stuck to my plan last week, stayed sober till last night and then had a bottle of wine.I think I'm going to move over to the 7 day challenge though, this routine of making Saturday night a drinking night is just reinforcing the notion that I'm missing out on something if I don't drink at the weekend.So when I do Dry January Saturday's going to feel much more difficult than it needs to be.Also, I find this time of year quite depressing a lot of the time, definitely not a Xmas person, and I'm worried about binge drinking over the holidays.There's still a couple of weeks to build up some sober time before the holidays and I think I need the structure of the 7 day challenge at the moment.

Best of luck to you both!

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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Bluebottle »

Hi Sally and Caroline, thanks for the replies, i am able to drive for up to a year as long as my Dr sanctions it, the year abstinent is if you are alcohol dependent, at most I was misusing alcohol, which is 6 months. I intend to stay sober till I get the blood tests taken, didnt realise they take hair samples too, gonna make the appointment tomorrow. I've only had 1bottle of wine over the last almost 8 months, so it should be OK. I've got an appointment with my new psychiatrist on Fri, so I'll need to inform them of that too, another 2 month delay! :evil:

Good luck on the 7 day challenge Caroline. ;)?

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Ruby xx
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Ed »

Cutting down. Its an interesting debate. I think its possible to do it but its highly individual. In my case I think its physically possible to do it but I dont think its psychologically that beneficial. I think if you drink a bit too much and it doesn't cause you to be depressed or lose interest in other things, or neglect responsibilities then I think its possible. My drinking modus operandi is twice a week, a bottle of wine and maybe a bit more on each occassion. In the scheme of things thats not massively hazardous drinking but it is two days with hangovers a week and the thought that I am doing something that I know I shouldnt be doing as someone who suffers from depression. As far as I understand when we drink we create dopamine which gives us a sense of reward, because its so powerful we lose the dopamine hit that we might get from more healthy pursuits. All the parts of the brain that control your psychological functioning are related so drinking can send your seratonin, norpinephrine, melatonin out of whack. Problem drinkers tend to have problems in all those areas: motivation, mood, stress, sleep. All of them effecting each other. The more problematic your drinking the more these will be affected and affect each other. Of course we are all different. If you drink too much but you are naturally predisposed to handling stress, or have a good social support network or can always sleep like a baby then you can probably maintain a balance and you could cut down. If drinking throws everything out of whack, like me, then you probably cant. Its not really a question of willpower as far as I can see or personality, just the specifics of your life and how it has evolved.
Enough time wasted on this.

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