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Re: Cutting Down

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Leslans
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Leslans » 01 Nov 2019 08:16

Morning folks. Just reading through some of the posts. Everyone’s limit is there own. We have different tolerance levels or perhaps we are at different stages of addiction. Myself my limit is a bottle of wine and if I go over that I’m on a slippery slope, unless I’ve consumed a mound of starchy food. That is no way to live because I get fat and fed up. I’ve achieved 68 days minus 1 when I had a couple of glasses of wine on Tuesday. I’ve done 2 years AF but relapsed as I just found it so hard to be abstinent all of the time. I know I have a problem and I know it won’t go away. I’m hanging around here to at least have some kind of focus whilst I try and get some sort of order on this.

Friends around this evening for dinner. I’m hoping I will get through unscathed but even if I have a couple of glasses of wine I will be ok. Some say what’s the point. For me it’s the freedom to choose, delusional as that maybe.

Have a good weekend <:)>
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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Leslans
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Leslans » 01 Nov 2019 08:17

By the way I’ve never been a 24/7 daily drinker, more a social drinker which can turn into a binge of say 1 1/2 bottles when I become a waste of space!!!!
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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SoberBoots
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by SoberBoots » 01 Nov 2019 17:49

I dunno Leslans - it's hard to separate out the addictive voice and its permission thoughts I think.

I hope your evening goes well, however you choose to handle it.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Spats
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Spats » 02 Nov 2019 23:35

I know that if I have a drink socially I’m ok but if a bottle of wine is in the house I’ll drink it all and then go and buy another one which will also be drunk that night. I can now go a couple of weeks without a drink but I know that that could still lead me down that slippery slope to drinking more often so I’m looking at total abstinence. Yes it’s a long way off but I’ll get there ;)?
Good luck whichever choice you make

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 03 Nov 2019 01:17

Good luck spats. ;)? My drinking was creeping up, so I've signed up for NOvember. What's a lot harder is the smoking and we just won't mention the diet. (w)

Had a great evening with the girls tonight and never touched a drop, so feeling fair chuffed.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

nutti
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by nutti » 06 Dec 2019 21:05

I am not sure if this is the way forward for the time being, over Christmas etc. I have been known for my drinking but that has to stop. I cant shake that thought of one wouldn't do any harm but I know it does, it puts me in a spin of well one is ok, tomorrow have two...

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Wilson
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Wilson » 06 Dec 2019 21:16

nutti wrote:
06 Dec 2019 21:05
I am not sure if this is the way forward for the time being, over Christmas etc. I have been known for my drinking but that has to stop. I cant shake that thought of one wouldn't do any harm but I know it does, it puts me in a spin of well one is ok, tomorrow have two...
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SoberBoots
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by SoberBoots » 07 Dec 2019 09:07

nutti wrote:
06 Dec 2019 21:05
I am not sure if this is the way forward for the time being, over Christmas etc. I have been known for my drinking but that has to stop. I cant shake that thought of one wouldn't do any harm but I know it does, it puts me in a spin of well one is ok, tomorrow have two...
Personally I've found it much easier and more satisfactory to stop completely, although I do realise that's not everyone's goal! But it does sound as if you know, really, that attempting to moderate isn't for you. Christmas is just Christmas - it's more fun sober. This link may help: https://thesoberschool.com/how-to-survi ... ve-season/
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 15 Dec 2019 02:23

nutti wrote:
06 Dec 2019 21:05
I am not sure if this is the way forward for the time being, over Christmas etc. I have been known for my drinking but that has to stop. I cant shake that thought of one wouldn't do any harm but I know it does, it puts me in a spin of well one is ok, tomorrow have two...
Hi nutti, just wondering how you're getting on, hope you're still AF but if you're not then that's the best time to post. I know Christmas is the most difficult time for many people but it can be done. Unfortunately this thread is pretty quiet but the personal goals thread is quite busy. Good luck anyway. ;)?

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

Whisper
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Whisper » 15 Dec 2019 18:36

Sorry to jump on this thread but feel a tad down. I said in other threads but I’m not a school night drinker just a weekend drinker who goes overboard !! So I decided to stop drinking and work on cutting down. I did well. I didn’t drink for nearly three weeks... I than had my Xmas work do on 13th so as I knew I would drink I had a drink on the 11th and 12th. I justified it as a making sure I won’t be such a light weight on the 13th and did only have one to two drinks those nights. Friday came and I wasn’t too bad. Hungover the next day but no way as bad as I normally get. But now I can’t shake this feeling of wanting more! I also feel that when I have stopped drinking for those three weeks I didn’t feel better in myself. I don’t know what I expected some kind of healthy upbeat personality shining through! But no I replace alcohol with fizzy drinks and lots of snacks. So put on weight urgh... back on the sober train till Xmas day most likely.. I don’t know. Feel a tad stuck.

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Winkler
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Winkler » 15 Dec 2019 20:56

Hey Whisper, you’ve done so well!
I identify with everything you said. I never managed to lose that desire to drink more although I tried repeatedly very hard to :D
I’ve continued to fight with weight too, reining it back in then putting it back, not one of those who drops 10lb sadly!

I think you’d find you’d feel a lot worse much of the time if u were to go back to where you were, rather than feeling marvellous having quit. I do think there’s subtle improvements over time though, sleeping better and being less anxious being big ones

Just yesterday, I recognised that kind of knocked off a bit and a bit daft morning after the night before mood my OH was in after a heavy night out - I’m thinking it must be like slight concussion or trauma to your brain - in no way is that good for it over time - brains are very vulnerable to alcohol damage. Everyone worries about liver damage but brains are up there too and alcohol abuse is linked to and even causes many cancers and illnesses.

It’s hard deciding to be completely AF long term when you’re not alcohol dependent isn’t it? Everybody (it seems) drinks when they go out although many don’t drink very much, which surprised me, so I used to think I was overreacting by not drinking at all. As time goes on though, things come to me about situations which show I was never a ‘normal’ or moderate drinker although it’s taken a long time to realise all the reasons behind why I became and was probably predisposed that way, including starting young and years of repeating!

I think alcohol is much more addictive than people realise. There’s an awful lot of denial and minimising goes on around it. People often tell me how little they drink - it’s not something I agonise over very much anymore or particularly want to talk about to others, so I don’t bring it up but am starting to look a little deeper now when people are keen to tell me they don’t have a problem ;)

Sometimes I’ve found it helpful to read some quit lit when I feel stuck. This time round I found Annie grace’s ‘naked mind’ struck a chord, questioning as it does our and society’s obsession with alcohol - the alcohol-centric society.
Good luck anyway, you’re on the path now ;)?
Alcohol is an addictive poison

Whisper
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Whisper » 15 Dec 2019 21:45

Winkler wrote:
15 Dec 2019 20:56
Hey Whisper, you’ve done so well!
I identify with everything you said. I never managed to lose that desire to drink more although I tried repeatedly very hard to :D
I’ve continued to fight with weight too, reining it back in then putting it back, not one of those who drops 10lb sadly!

I think you’d find you’d feel a lot worse much of the time if u were to go back to where you were, rather than feeling marvellous having quit. I do think there’s subtle improvements over time though, sleeping better and being less anxious being big ones

Just yesterday, I recognised that kind of knocked off a bit and a bit daft morning after the night before mood my OH was in after a heavy night out - I’m thinking it must be like slight concussion or trauma to your brain - in no way is that good for it over time - brains are very vulnerable to alcohol damage. Everyone worries about liver damage but brains are up there too and alcohol abuse is linked to and even causes many cancers and illnesses.

It’s hard deciding to be completely AF long term when you’re not alcohol dependent isn’t it? Everybody (it seems) drinks when they go out although many don’t drink very much, which surprised me, so I used to think I was overreacting by not drinking at all. As time goes on though, things come to me about situations which show I was never a ‘normal’ or moderate drinker although it’s taken a long time to realise all the reasons behind why I became and was probably predisposed that way, including starting young and years of repeating!

I think alcohol is much more addictive than people realise. There’s an awful lot of denial and minimising goes on around it. People often tell me how little they drink - it’s not something I agonise over very much anymore or particularly want to talk about to others, so I don’t bring it up but am starting to look a little deeper now when people are keen to tell me they don’t have a problem ;)

Sometimes I’ve found it helpful to read some quit lit when I feel stuck. This time round I found Annie grace’s ‘naked mind’ struck a chord, questioning as it does our and society’s obsession with alcohol - the alcohol-centric society.
Good luck anyway, you’re on the path now ;)?
Thank you. Yes I am shocked I lasted three weeks as that was three weekends with no drink. So now I know I can do it, it’s more of do I want too? I know I do !! It’s just I set such a huge goal in my head on how this would make me feel. I guess I just need to try and relax. Breathe and enjoy the fact I had a drink free evening and got some stuff done which I normally wouldn’t do as I would want to relax with a glass of wine.

The diet thing will have to wait not just because of Xmas but I guess if I need a frizzy drink right now to get me through my negative habit of drinking than so be it. It may not be great but I know for me anyway it’s better than wine.

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Wilson
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Wilson » 16 Dec 2019 06:55

denial Is not a river in Egypt ;)

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Cutting Down

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 24 Dec 2019 16:43

Wilson wrote:
16 Dec 2019 06:55
denial Is not a river in Egypt ;)
Oh yes it is. :D
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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