The Road to Abstinence.

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8108
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Ladysnoops »

Oh my yes LB, that internal dialogue can drive a person insane, can't it? :roll: :shock:

Here's to REAL life my friend....you deserve it!!<:)>

Linda

p.s. You know we are not getting any younger so why shouldn't we enjoy our remaining years living our REAL lives and not our muddled and fuzzy lives??
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

User avatar
london bloke
Posts: 1244
Joined: 26 Jul 2010 11:25
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by london bloke »

Thanks Ragnar - you are a voice of reason indeed. And very eloquent.
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

User avatar
Libelula
Posts: 1764
Joined: 16 May 2011 20:42
Last Drink Date: 30 Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Libelula »

So many eloquent, moving and instructive posts on this thread just now, it's been great to read them. Ta folks. <:)>

I'm posting all over the place tonight as displacement activity because today's abstinence is difficult abstinence for me, for some reason. I hope that doesn't annoy people!

When I was going through an early euphoric phase, it even crossed my mind that my problem drinking was a good thing because it felt so good to face up to myself, my life, my drinking.... I was meeting amazing, supportive, inspiring people here and (with some help from some therapy too) feeling like I was connecting with people differently. I guess I've come back down to earth in seeing my problem drinking as a cross to bear, and a danger that will ever lurk in the shadows of my life, but the feeling of having met some really amazing people through BE persists.

london bloke, I've read many of your posts over the past few weeks. I wish you valour and resolve for the fight, all the right words for sharing when sharing is needed, success in every today that comes along, and the peaceful joy of of growing in sobriety. (And if you do get all that, could you send some on to me too? ;) )

Ok, I'm away to bed to read my Kindle before I reach full house on tonight's thread bingo!

Libby X
I want to be the best possible mum to my son.

User avatar
Libelula
Posts: 1764
Joined: 16 May 2011 20:42
Last Drink Date: 30 Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Libelula »

Thank you Ragnar. <:)>
I want to be the best possible mum to my son.

User avatar
Sandy
Posts: 8923
Joined: 20 Aug 2009 23:41
Last Drink Date: 21 Aug 2009
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Sandy »

Lib
I am with Ragnar on that one. He talks a lot of sense
Sandy

User avatar
chrissy 101
Posts: 430
Joined: 27 May 2011 22:07
Last Drink Date: 22 Feb 2013
Location: Yorkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by chrissy 101 »

Hello everyone <:)> Have been working late and getting my house in order during the day so I havent posted for a couple of days and my goodness what a thread I have been missing!

Tink - I dont know what to say. Your post is amazing, tearful, poignant, helpful. Thank you for welcoming me to this thread and opening up your life and thoughts for me. I feel most humble.

Kingsnoopy - yes I am still here, as I said I have been trying to be more organised. I have let my life become a circle of drinking, watching tv, a little cleaning then back to drinking and tv! Since I stopped drinking in the week I have started to recover some energy so I am putting it to use :D and now I have chosen not to drink at weekends as well the energy levels should only get better.

64 turtles - You are right about if I have asked the question about abstinence then my drinking is a problem. In fact since I have given up drinking in the week the weekend drinking is bigger binges than ever :o

Mai and Hamster - I do hope you are both feeling a little better today. You have had some really good advice from the others. I am not as good at the advice thing so I will send you both a hug <:)>

Sorry if I have missed anyone that has answered my previous posts but I am quite overwhelmed by the welcome I have had on this thread. People were really nice on the 7 day thread but you lot have been amazing. Must mention Sandy and Maria as well from the first time I post. (::) (::) (::)
Chrissy 101 - In many cases people forget our "episodes" quicker than we do...but maybe this is the kind of "final straw" thing for you, a kind of push for you to decide whether you cut down or abstain completely. (Sandy) 1st July 2011

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8108
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Ladysnoops »

Chris, So glad to hear from you :D Yes, this is a pretty amazing thread! I think by the time we are ready to go for abstinence...maybe we've become amazing people (at least I'd like to think so ;) ). One thing you will see on this thread is that even those of us who have chosen abstinence still have the normal ups and downs...life is not all rosy. I think with abstinence we must realize that there may still be times we are tempted, but we have made our CHOICE and that is NO ALCOHOL :twisted: . Making that choice and sticking with it is some very powerful stuff and has left me feeling so much lighter. I hope you will stay with us on this thread, but wherever you go on Bright Eyes, you will surly be welcomed by others.

Hope everyone has a good night <:)> I'm in the middle of working out so I'd better get back at it...the sooner I'm done, the sooner I get my herbal tea (my new drink of choice :D ).

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

Maria
Posts: 3421
Joined: 09 Apr 2011 17:33
Last Drink Date: 17 Jan 2021
First Sober Date: 18 Jan 2021
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Maria »

Great to hear from you Chirpy and that all is going well .. ;)?
Never stop trying... Never stop believing .. Never give up .. Your day will come !

User avatar
chrissy 101
Posts: 430
Joined: 27 May 2011 22:07
Last Drink Date: 22 Feb 2013
Location: Yorkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by chrissy 101 »

Good morning all, woke up this morning feeling a little strange, awful taste in my mouth. I think it was my mind playing tricks because when I realised I hadnt been drinking I felt fine \:)/

Dont know what the weather is like where you all are but it is raining pretty bad here. Garden needs it though. Unfortunately for me I need to go pick a prescription up from the docs and they close at lunch so coat on, brolly up and will check in again later.

Take care everyone x
Chrissy 101 - In many cases people forget our "episodes" quicker than we do...but maybe this is the kind of "final straw" thing for you, a kind of push for you to decide whether you cut down or abstain completely. (Sandy) 1st July 2011

User avatar
chrissy 101
Posts: 430
Joined: 27 May 2011 22:07
Last Drink Date: 22 Feb 2013
Location: Yorkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by chrissy 101 »

Hi everyone, seems I am the only one that has been on the abstinence thread today. Hope this means your all getting on doing good things and the EAF isnt speaking to you.

Me, I came back from docs and have been decorating the kitchen, just glossing to do and she (EAF) as snuck in :evil: She keeps whispering "well you have done a good job there, all you need now is a glass of wine as a job well done". She knows there is none at home and if she thinks I am going out with emulsion in my hair and paint all over then I am not. Tonic water for me till I finish, then tea and back to BE.

Just had to let you all know how crafty she is being.

See you all soon
Chrissy 101 - In many cases people forget our "episodes" quicker than we do...but maybe this is the kind of "final straw" thing for you, a kind of push for you to decide whether you cut down or abstain completely. (Sandy) 1st July 2011

User avatar
london bloke
Posts: 1244
Joined: 26 Jul 2010 11:25
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by london bloke »

Hi Chris,

Ohhh - you're all manly doing the painting!
I can compete with that - trimming a 8 foot hedge with a B&D electric thingy. It took 90 minutes incl clearup of 3 bags of leaves.

And you know what ? I felt like I deserved a couple of Guinness.!

But stuck to water. And actually got more done.

Good job for ignoring EAF ! Both of us.
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8108
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Ladysnoops »

Great on you two, Chris and LB for telling the EAF to bugger off \:)/ (::) ;)?

No cravings today, but as always trying not to get complacent with that lovely feeling. Cause as soon as I think I've got the EAF beat for good, she will sneak up on me :evil: :roll:

Such great company on this thread albeit a little quiet today :o

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

User avatar
smudge
Posts: 3050
Joined: 20 Feb 2010 02:56
Last Drink Date: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Trapped In La-La Land
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by smudge »

I've got more than fifteen months of sobriety under my belt. Still feel like shit most of the time. Memory is crap, organisational ability vanished and never returned. I can't get cause and effect sorted out, depression is crippling me, so is anxiety. Just existing causes me stress, and stress makes all my other problems worse. I'm suffering problems with rigid, repetitive thinking one day, and chaotic, senseless thoughts the next. I keep mentally re-visiting problems from earlier in my life over and over again, like I'm torturing myself. I know that it can take years to recover from PAWS - I'm assuming that PAWS is the source of many of my problems - and some people never do recover, but it is really, really shit going through it. I hate being me and I hate my life!
"I would rather be a non-drinker with the occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with the constant desire to quit."

Learn from other's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.

I'm not a doctor!

Beverley
Posts: 1789
Joined: 18 Jul 2010 09:12
Last Drink Date: 22 Jul 2010
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Beverley »

Hi Smudge

I too do that awful revisit. Play the same scenes over and over again. I am currently, after a long and good positive run, feeling bad about myself. It's so easy to self destruct. We are good people, you and I. We deserve to feel good about ourselves. I am digging deep here as am so scared I will lose OH. He is old and getting frail and I am terrified of being alone.

Today I am scared of my own shadow. Everything has gone wrong. The car won't start, the boiler has not been fixed, we are on our uppers and what future do OH and I have. I don't know if there is any.

Major depression is about to overwhelm me.
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

User avatar
Sandy
Posts: 8923
Joined: 20 Aug 2009 23:41
Last Drink Date: 21 Aug 2009
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Sandy »

Bev
Quick post, just rushing out to work
Stay with us here, just keep talking...we may not have all the answers but sharing stuff can always help
You are not alone Bev
Dont let the thoughts engulf you
love
Sandy

Tink
Posts: 4415
Joined: 16 Jul 2009 17:38
Last Drink Date: 26 Aug 2020
Location: here
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Tink »

Great work Chris, L.B and all. Listen, I have depression too and medication did wonders. You do not have to suffer and there is help for it. The suffering will end and the revisiting the past as well just as soon as you address it. Sort it. Tobin helped and BE can also.
Try to see your glasses half full today and take power away from the EAF with that positive thinking. Even when we are scared we can be brave. Think of how fortunate we are. We have just as many good things as bad but the EAF don't want you to aee them. She is trying to make you find an excuse. Put ir off cause there will always be one. Good thing that there is always a better excuse not too. Now be good soldiers and fight the good fight today and WIN!

Love always,
Tink.
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

User avatar
smudge
Posts: 3050
Joined: 20 Feb 2010 02:56
Last Drink Date: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Trapped In La-La Land
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by smudge »

Bev <:)> I've PMed you.

Dab <:)>

I agree with you about there being no alternatives to sobriety. My thoughts may be rigid & repetitive, or chaotic and senseless, I may be depressed and can't see a way out, but that is one thought I have accepted completely. In my situation, drinking again would be like getting very badly sunburnt, then going out for more sun because the damage had already been done.

In my case it isn't the damage I've done with drinking that I chew over repeatedly, but the things that I used to blot out with drinking that I can no longer escape from. I didn't know how to deal with the problems when I was younger, and I'm no wiser now that I'm in late middle age.
"I would rather be a non-drinker with the occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with the constant desire to quit."

Learn from other's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.

I'm not a doctor!

User avatar
Ladysnoops
Posts: 8108
Joined: 26 Nov 2010 20:05
Last Drink Date: 08 Apr 2012
Location: US
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Ladysnoops »

Smudge and Bev, I am so sorry to hear of your low feelings :( . You've gotten some wise words from others so I don't have much to add other than I am here for you. You both have done so well with your sobriety....can you just contemplate for a few minutes on this major accomplishment you have worked so hard for and give yourselves a big hug <:)> . I don't feel depressed often, but I do get anxious often (many people say those two feelings are really the same thing....not sure if I agree, but they certainly are similar). The one big thing that helps my anxiety is just plain and simple...staying very, very busy with work, exercise, family, reading, etc.... I know you are probably doing all these things so I apologize if I am telling you something you already know (probably) but sometimes its the obvious things we miss when life gets complicated.

Bottom line, I'm here for you as are many of your other BEs friends. Stay connected to us and post away with any feelings you want to share.

Much care and support to you two lovely friends <:)>

Linda
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

Beverley
Posts: 1789
Joined: 18 Jul 2010 09:12
Last Drink Date: 22 Jul 2010
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by Beverley »

Linda and Smudge and Dab and all

How lovely to have friends to feel with. Lord knows we can get ourselves in an awful state! I really don't know what I would do without all of you people on here. You all mean the world to me literally.

The best ever support anyone could want. <:)>

Smudge, we will get together. I'll get the car fixed if it is the last thing I do!! Anyone know of a great Renault Clio mechanic in Berkshire? One that doesn't charge the earth!

Bev x <:)>
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

User avatar
chrissy 101
Posts: 430
Joined: 27 May 2011 22:07
Last Drink Date: 22 Feb 2013
Location: Yorkshire
Contact:

Re: The Road to Abstinence.

Post by chrissy 101 »

Hello everyone

I am so sorry to hear that Bev and Smudge are struggling at the moment. I am not good at advice but I can send a big hug <:)> <:)> I have had depression on and off throughout my life and I am on anti depressants at present, although a low dose but the biggest thing that helped me is cognitive counselling which I had a few years ago. I was referred by my doctor and I can honestly say it gave me a quality of life.

LB - We also have a hedge but ours is only 6 foot. I have a tip for you. We have got a massive piece of tarpaulin that we lay on the ground and it catches the majority of the clippings. We then fold the tarpaulin up and push them to one end and put them straight in the bin! Very little sweeping then. Fantastic idea eh?

I have been to the docs today for my anti depressants and I told her I was trying to give up drinking. She asked me if I wanted to see the alcohol team and i dismissed it without asking what they can do for me. Does anyone know?
Chrissy 101 - In many cases people forget our "episodes" quicker than we do...but maybe this is the kind of "final straw" thing for you, a kind of push for you to decide whether you cut down or abstain completely. (Sandy) 1st July 2011

Post Reply