I absolutely recognise this in me too Action ... not wanting to make a decision in case it’s the wrong one, and not wanting to act on a decision once made for the same reason ... tossed in with an unhealthy dose of procrastination and there you have it ... dithering whilst wanting to change whilst not wanting to do the doing involved in changing. So me that is.
I have to be in a place where not doing becomes more uncomfortable than doing before I can really get under way with the doing part of changing. And the funny thing is it’s a relief once I do ... I feel like I’m picking up the reins instead of waiting (and hoping) that someone else will do it for me. We can wait forever with nothing changing at all whilst we wish and wish ... without doing.
If I could talk to my younger self now I would tell her to act. Waiting and seeing what happens has not worked out that well for me, wasted years and I can’t go back. I knew I had a problem with drinking and associated avoidance behaviours decades before I finally started to tackle this. It’s a case of better late than never and I have to remember how lucky I am ... in fact I’m reminded often when I hear those sad tales at my support meetings of people whose drinking has taken them to and then through some truly horrendous experiences.
Waking up sober on a Saturday morning still sometimes feels amazing. OH is grumpy with a sore head from drinking too much last night and will now be staying indoors sofa bound, doing the bare minimum all day. I get to go into town meet my mates, have a laugh eat cake drink coffee, do a spot of shopping etc etc. All with a clear head and no grogginess / gut ache and the rest. What could be nicer?
Have a good day Roadies xx