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SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Aaron.A
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Aaron.A » 07 Mar 2013 08:58

Hang on in there Carol <:)> It does take time to adjust to someone being sober. For the first week or 2 when I am sober I am usually tired, irritable and at a loss as to what to do for a while. And I dare say my girlfriend has and easier time dealing with me when I am drinking as I am mellow and subdued. Have you tried suggesting to your Husband some activities that involve going out and not drinking?

I am using the money I saved on booze to go to the cinema, which helps get us out of the house and out of the rut we were stuck in. Where we would just sit in front of the tv every night and drink ( although it was only ever a glass of wine for my oh)
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

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CarolP
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by CarolP » 07 Mar 2013 09:06

Thank you all. I know what you are saying is right. Its not the first time I have felt like this but I thought with me being open and honest, we could break down the barriers. A 29 year marriage, however bad, is a hard habit to change - much like alcohol. It's so much easier - in the short term - to go to oblivion. Sorry, feeling a bit rubbish. I need to get it together and try to plan being sober instead of drinking.
Laura, something you said last week inspired me to go from AF day to AF day. Thank you. Last night socialising it was just easier to have a drink! What a mess
Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go.

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CarolP
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by CarolP » 07 Mar 2013 10:46

You're right joop. It is my choice. and I need to think about me. It's hard though because I always put other people first. There's not usually enough love left to give me any. My daughter is leaving tonight to work abroad for a year. Maybe this is the time for me now. Marriage should be about support but if he hasn't been supportive in the past, then I guess it's difficult to be supportive now, just because I want him to be. I need to focus on me. I will stay on here today, I need the help and positive thinking. x
Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go.

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Bernadette
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Bernadette » 07 Mar 2013 11:15

Carol your number one priority is you so you can be there for others. You have so much going on too with your daughter going away - how fantastic for her! Stay strong and sober to face up to things you know. Really rooting for you today x
You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind (Anon)...

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ChilliBird
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by ChilliBird » 07 Mar 2013 20:30

Carol, I had a similar experience in some ways. A few days ago, after about 2 weeks of abstinence, my wife said I had been so edgy she would rather I was still drinking. Although it was a light hearted comment I could see she was feeling disconnected from me. To be honest I was feeling disconnected too. I had been impatient and intolerant. I think there is just so much to realign when you stop drinking, your personality does become unsettled. Yesterday she told me I seemed to be mellowing back to my usual self.

So hang in there, I think things will get better.

honestmarkovillaN
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by honestmarkovillaN » 10 Mar 2013 13:17

Help!

I wanted to start a new topic and introduce myself properly but couldn't see the option to start a new topic?

I dont know where to start re my drinking but reached the point where I can't take it anymore

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Mark.
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Mark. » 10 Mar 2013 13:25

Hi honestmarkovillaN - and welcome!

I've just replied to you on another thread. The first port of call might be the New Members thread - you're sure of a warm welcome.

If you're in a desperate situation right now, though, stick around here on this thread.

Please have a good read around the forum - there should be a thread that fits your needs. There's advice and support pretty much everywhere. I'd suggest checking out the First 7 Days Challenge, if you want to stop drinking straight away. There's also the Cutting Down thread if quitting straight away isn't a good idea, or doesn't feel completely possible.

I'd recommend checking out some of the threads in the Relapsing and Physical & Mental Health sections for more advice on cutting down and tapering off.

Read around - if you still can't find what you're looking for, let me know and I'll try to help.

Best wishes,
Mark
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

jaffa21
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by jaffa21 » 12 Mar 2013 14:08

Hi all. I am desperate for advice quickly as im so upset and stress i posted here.

I had another appointment this morning with the drop in centre and theyve said the referal to the community alcohol team will be faxed through tommorrow.. HOWEVER, he also said i was being refered to social services because i have 2 kids and my husband isnt at home as working away!!

WHY?? My kids are safe and well and healthy i never drink in the day and they know ive reduced my intake from 18-20units a night to 12!! Please has anyone else had this happen and if so what did social services do.

I cant contact my husband for another week due to where he is with work and im absoulutley terrified!!!

I would never put my children at risk!!!

Any help advice will GREATLY appreciated i'm in a state right now!!
I am fighting this with all my might.

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DannyD
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by DannyD » 12 Mar 2013 14:49

Hi Jaffa

I can't help, as I've not been in this position. I'd like to think that social will only want what's best for the children. All I can say, is that drinking won't make anything better, so you're doing the right thing by stopping.

<:)>
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Connie44
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Connie44 » 12 Mar 2013 16:03

Jaffa i've pm'd you hun xx
I'm allergic to alcohol - it can kill me.

MissBlue

Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by MissBlue » 12 Mar 2013 16:17

Pm from me too, hope it helps <:)> <:)> <:)> .

Happy1!
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Happy1! » 12 Mar 2013 17:28

Help, I'm new here and my first post!! Not new to feeling this crappy but at my wits end, depressed with life, crying, struggling to manage work, kids and marriage problems. Desperately want to drink but scared of the mess I will be in tomorrow trying to cope with work...very busy at the mo!!! Haven't had a drink since Sunday and can honestly say its such a struggle... I don't drink every night but when I do I can't stop, openly drink a bottle of wine then sneak, port, lager whatever's available!! Feel so very crap and wonder what's the point in life when it's this hard not to drink!! It's the only time I feel relaxed and happy... I'm thinking maybe just a bottle of wine tonight and I can use this site more positively tomorrow!!! Living a double life is SOOO hard, alcoholic loser at home and mrs sociable, together, perfect family to everyone else!!! Sorry for rambling on

nathan_
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by nathan_ » 12 Mar 2013 17:33

It's always hard when you've been drinking a lot, to not drinking at all, I've had those same feelings. As time goes on it does get easier though. Drinking won't help tomorrows situation and the circle will continue. Trying to quiet your head an hour before bed tonight and a good 8 hours sleep will do you much better.
It'll just take work, sometimes a lot of work to make the everyday stuff work. It's better than wrecking your body though.
I dont want my liver to pack up, and my kidneys, heart attack, and give myself brain damage and ruin my skin for good, and then die a slow miserable painful lonely death. I dont want to fear these feelings anymore. Goodbye alcohol

Happy1!
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Happy1! » 12 Mar 2013 19:03

Thank you so much for taking the time to post but today is not my day.... Depression is soo bad with very dark thoughts, just don't feel strong enough today, thanks anyway and tomorrow is another day x

Happy1!
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by Happy1! » 13 Mar 2013 09:24

Thanks again guys, was a bad day yesterday but woke up today and re read posts..... I'm feeling really positive and have posted in the "7 days" thread... 1 day at a time but thanks for encouragement and advice x

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CarolP
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by CarolP » 13 Mar 2013 10:09

Am already knocking back a concoction. I know the trigger points. but if those people stay the same, how can I change?
Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go.

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CarolP
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by CarolP » 15 Mar 2013 12:07

i always seem to need help. row with oh this morning. he went off to golf and i opened a bottle of wine. not in a hurry for him to come back. enjoying wine really x
Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go.

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hope22
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by hope22 » 15 Mar 2013 13:41

Hi carol,

How are you feeling now iv just logged on? Was the arguement about drinking or something totally different. I think you know all the usual things that will help. If you are going to continue drinking please try and eat and drink some water if you havent already.

xx
I never ever want to feel the way I felt on Monday 19th August again !!!!!

diane83
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by diane83 » 15 Mar 2013 19:34

Hate myself and think this is the time I should leave BE. Everyone on here is lovely and I know will tell me not to beat myself up about it, forgive myself and tomorrow is another day. That is what we keep on saying to each other. I know as I have given the same advice myself. Perhaps we should be saying pull ourselves together and get on with life. I have friends with awful problems, one whose child is dying, another with MS and another with problems as a carer for her elderly invalid parents. Do they drink? The answer is NO.

Does anyone else think we keep on giving each other on this site the permission to drink. I am sorry for sounding like this. Awful day, daughter's birthday who I will never see again because I could not put down a bottle of wine.

Just want to die.

I have put this post on "are you drinking now" as I know there is noone who can help me.

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hope22
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please

Post by hope22 » 15 Mar 2013 20:18

Diane I dont think you should leave. I know what you are saying about feeling like we are giving each other permission to drink but we are only trying to support each other as best we can. I think the only person that gives us permission to drink is ourselves.

It is a tough horrible battle, but it is a battle that can be won.

Iv lost my mum because I couldnt put down a bottle she will never speak to me again, that is how awful things do become when we are in the grips of addiction.

I understand you have friends who are suffering terrible problems and not drinking. But Diane those people arnt alcoholics/ drink dependant (whatever you want to name it) we are.

It is a lot about not giving up on giving up.

I wish you the best

Hope xx
I never ever want to feel the way I felt on Monday 19th August again !!!!!

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