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SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
IvanTsy
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by IvanTsy » 19 Aug 2019 21:47

Hi!
I'm Ivan
I don't drink since 24.02.2019

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SoberBoots
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Aug 2019 21:52

IvanTsy wrote:
19 Aug 2019 21:47
Hi!
I'm Ivan
I don't drink since 24.02.2019
That's great Ivan! If you're still sober and would like to join this forum, why not introduce yourself on the new members thread here viewtopic.php?f=1&t=748&start=13740

You've actually posted on the crisis thread - if you've relapsed and are looking for some support, carry on writing here and we'll try to help.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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R.Walworth
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by R.Walworth » 17 Sep 2019 16:14

Hi....Im "Rose" Where to start? Well apparently I fell down the stairs last night Im covered in brusies and a big one on my head, woke up on the floor.
Generally I drink a lot but on occasion I go really bad, like last night.
I need help, I hate myself and cry daily and just cant seem to get a handle on anything.
Im scared im going to kill myself by accident.
I dont know what to do, so found this site and reaching out for advise on control methods,I need to stop altogether but read that could be dangerous too.
Im really at a loss as to what to do.

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Jjjj of Old » 17 Sep 2019 16:42

Hi Rose - and welcome to Bright Eye!

I'm sorry to hear your story, but there was a lot in there that mirrors my experiences too.

Firstly, well done for deciding to do something about your drinking. It takes guts to admit that you need to. You'll find from reading around the forum that a lot of members here have very successfully turned their lives around after making that decision - so it's more than possible for you too.

The drunken accidents and self-hating really struck me because I have been there too, as have many of us. But, like I say, there is absolutely no need for these to continue for you.
R.Walworth wrote:
17 Sep 2019 16:14
I dont know what to do, so found this site and reaching out for advise on control methods,I need to stop altogether but read that could be dangerous too.
You are quite right that quitting drink straight away can be dangerous, but it really depends on how much you are drinking before you quit. If in doubt, please seek professional medical advice. What our forum can offer is advice and experience from those who have given up drinking (or who are trying to), so please read around and post wherever and whenever you want to, and ask all the questions you need to.

You might find the following threads useful:

Detoxing Safely (Tapering Off): again, the advice here often comes from those who have had to 'taper off' of alcohol for the sake of avoiding extreme withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms are reasonably rare, but if in doubt (depending on how physically dependent on alcohol you feel you are), do seek a professional opinion.

Once you feel able to stop drinking all together (if that's your aim), then the First 7 Days sobriety challenge is a great place to start.

If you choose to quit drinking, you may find it helpful to take vitamin supplements such as B1, to top up depleted stocks over a few weeks or so, and there are people here who can (and will) share their experiences about this.

You'll definitely find a lot of friendly help and support here.

But basically, you have made a brave and brilliant decision to tackle your problem-drinking and, if you read around the forum, you'll realise that you have every hope of a much healthier and happier future ;)? <:)>

Very best wishes, and I'll look forward to seeing you around!
Mark
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

R.Walworth
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by R.Walworth » 17 Sep 2019 16:48

Thank you
Just putting it out there has been a bit of a releif, and I will check the links provided.
thank you again
Rose

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Jjjj of Old » 17 Sep 2019 16:51

No worries, Rose! Like I say, have a good read around and if there's anything you want to ask, fire away. Just join in as much as you want to - you're very welcome here ;)?
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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SoberBoots
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by SoberBoots » 17 Sep 2019 17:40

Welcome Rose! Not much to add to Jjjj's wise advice, but I wanted to drop in with words of hope. I was was in despair when I joined BE - I'd been drinking like a fish for decades and I hated it and myself. I was helped by finding support here, and through reading (Allen Carr's the Easy Way really helped me refocus my mind). Exactly what helps people make the change varies enormously - I'd read all around the site and make notes of things you'd like to follow up on. If you go to the new members thread and read back you'll find a wealth of ideas. Do keep posting - addiction thrives in isolation and shame. You're not bad or weak, you've developed an addiction which can happen to anyone, and it's absolutely possible to recover.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Jjjj of Old » 17 Sep 2019 18:12

SoberBoots wrote:
17 Sep 2019 17:40
You're not bad or weak, you've developed an addiction which can happen to anyone, and it's absolutely possible to recover.
Very well put, SB ;)? <:)>
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Mackintosh » 18 Sep 2019 08:58

R.Walworth wrote:
17 Sep 2019 16:14
Hi....Im "Rose" Where to start? Well apparently I fell down the stairs last night Im covered in brusies and a big one on my head, woke up on the floor.
Generally I drink a lot but on occasion I go really bad, like last night.
I need help, I hate myself and cry daily and just cant seem to get a handle on anything.
Im scared im going to kill myself by accident.
I dont know what to do, so found this site and reaching out for advise on control methods,I need to stop altogether but read that could be dangerous too.
Im really at a loss as to what to do.
:\: Hi Rose welcome to BE this really is the place to be. I too have been in self destruct for some time now and recently that took a nasty turn as my OH has started to become physically abusive towards me when I drink. I took a kicking about 10 days ago and realised this was rock bottom. I've completed the first 7 days sobriety challenge and and now on the next 2-4 weeks on day 9!!
I find reading the posts and all the support I receive from members invaluable. Stay strong and reach out whenever you need to. <:)>
Sobriety is not an anchor, it's a pair of wings.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by StanleyDuke » 03 Oct 2019 13:42

Hi Rose

Welcome to the forum. How much had you had to drink when you fell down the stairs?

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by aprilstart » 16 Oct 2019 17:09

Me again, I've lost my job, my house, am being treated terribly by the abusive husband. I don't know where to go anymore.

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Jjjj of Old » 16 Oct 2019 17:20

Hi April <:)> I'm really sorry to hear all that. Start with us. Keep talking if it helps, and read around the forum for some inspiration. All problems, however difficult, can be overcome with time and work. So, start here. Is there anyone else as well who can help now? And are you safe at the moment? You might find this thread useful, with regard to your husband.

Keep talking! <:)>
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Luna_ » 16 Oct 2019 17:33

Hi Rose.
Sorry to read your story. Falling downstairs (and once straight out of the loft hatch in my case) is something that likely has happened to many of us. It really is a "sobering" experience, especially if waking up at the bottom without any recollection of the fall.

Very scary stuff indeed. I hope you can try to get a handle on your drinking - or even try a one-day-at-a-time challenge. Best wishes and lots of these <:)>

April <:)> I lived with an abusive partner for years and it caused my drinking problem to spiral uncontrollably. I was the one pouring the stuff down my neck, but there is no excuse for abuse. Mackintosh - your comment also touched me <:)>
Can you contact a woman's organisation or a safe house and stay there until you get an idea of where to go now? They offer advice, practical solutions - and most of all, much kindness.
I dont know where you live but Prof. Google should find the nearest shelter to you. All the best

Xx Luna
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by aprilstart » 16 Oct 2019 18:35

Thanks so much for your replies. My heart goes out to all , it's not physical abuse,anymore, he has spat in my face, but now he inspects the washing up when I've done it. But I feel safe ish. Odd that I have let myself get so low. I'm not good at keeping in touch, I know the drills , water, food, sweeties, and everyone IT CAN BE DONE, I managed almost a year, but was silly and slipped, don't do that my dears.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Jjjj of Old » 16 Oct 2019 18:46

As long you're safe, April, that's the main thing <:)>

Unfortunately, psychological bullying can be just as nasty and undermining as physical abuse. Luna's suggestion to contact an organisation like Women's Aid is a good idea if his behaviour is damaging your life and happiness. It seems a shame to say that you have 'let' yourself get so low if the reality is that someone else is bringing you low.

But do also keep posting here. I'm sure that talking will help ;)? <:)>
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Shadowlad » 16 Oct 2019 19:43

Hi there Aprilstart <:)>

Hey so sorry you are feeling so low :(

Its so good you came back to your friends here and maybe we can help you back up again ? <:)>

I hope you are ok and feeling lighter with the kindly and supportive replies above. Please do stay around and chat more if it helps <:)> xxx

Love nicky xxx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by Luna_ » 16 Oct 2019 19:54

April dear <:)>
I need to reply to your comment. He is not spitting in your face anymore - but inspecting washing etc.
OMG. I have been there. Not the washing but dust and any place my kids (not his) may have sat on/touched etc. Both you and I could write a book on this...

When the serious psychological abuse started - you know, the twisted stuff, avslutting, no I never said that..., the threats and suggested use of weapons, killing of pets... all this stuff is psychological abuse/mental violence. I used to beg mine to just hit me and be done with it. How did I get to tjat low point???

my point is, dear, you must get out of this abusive situation. I have been there and you can pm me if you want to talk off-forum.
Best advice I ever got (from a psychologist friend) was "get the f* out of there". Worst thing I did was to "give it another shot". Cost me another 4 years of my life...

Hugs xxx
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by martha » 16 Oct 2019 23:17

aprilstart wrote:
16 Oct 2019 17:09
Me again
Hi April <:)> I remember you from a while ago. So sorry to read things are difficult for you. I hope the advice given by others is helpful to you. Please keep posting. We're all here for you on BE. X <:)>
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by aprilstart » 17 Oct 2019 08:49

Hey everyone, thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me, I'm sorry to hear how much others are or have suffered. Your advice and support means a lot, I just need to find that bit of strength to get myself back on the road. I have done it before but now I feel I've really got nothing left to live for. I also feel that I am totally undeserving of support having had a lot of it over the years and letting everyone down time and again. When /if I can pick myself up I'll be back. In the meantime I send you all my very very best wishes xxx

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SoberBoots
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Re: SOS - Post here if you need help (No General Chat Please)

Post by SoberBoots » 17 Oct 2019 08:55

feel I've really got nothing left to live for. I also feel that I am totally undeserving of support having had a lot of it over the years and letting everyone down time and again.
April <:)> please recognise that feelings are not reality. These thoughts are symptoms, which an enormous percentage of alcohol addicts have experienced (including me!). Alcohol is a massive cause of anxiety and depression - I was absolutely stunned by how much my mental health improved with sobriety! What you need is support and to regain some confidence in yourself, I used to hide away and hope that something would change too, but it never helped. Being around others did, and helped me reach the decision that I wasn't going to be alcohol's victim any more.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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