October General Support and Chat

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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George
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October General Support and Chat

Post by George »

Hi all
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

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Jane12
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by Jane12 »

Hi Tom

Well done for not drinking since last Monday.

I'm the same as yourself when it comes to the hot weather. I have very bad body image too and days like today just make me feel anxious and self concious when I leave the house.

With regards to your friends, if you're really serious about not drinking, maybe you need to cut them out of your life. Not necessarily permanently but just for a little while while you concentrate on getting sober. They all sound like they have some sort of drinking issues. I know when i'm drinking then i'm a very selfish person and only want to hang around with other heavy drinkers.

I've been in AA before, for 12 months a couple of years ago. Personally I wouldn't go back but I dont regret my stint in AA. I learned a lot of useful tools which I will use this time round. There was one particular poem called 'Just for Today'. It's not anything to do with the God Squad but is a brilliant poem that I read every morning (and have done for 3 years, even when drinking) that puts my mind at rest and starts my day off really positive. I would really recommend you taking a look.

I'm on day 4 of not drinking. I think I almost died last weekend from alcohol poisoning, it's given me the wake up call that I've needed for a long while. I've realised that making conversation with people is really hard. I've been out for lunch, dinner and picnics with friends that past few days and done this sober and it's been so difficult. Normally I dont shut up, always chattering away loudly to everyone. Having to do this sober is exhausting. Alcohol must do the talking for me. I'm out with friends that i've known for years and have no idea how to act or speak, how to socialise sober. I'm absolutely knackered.
First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man - chinese proverb

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Sometimes in this life when we drink, we find all these wonderful friends, grikey when i was drinking i had mates comming out my ears and i dont mean the condom kind :lol:
But you find as you realise drinking has to be cut back or cut out, theses friends start thinning out until you are left with none, well when i say none i mean none of that kind and really in ALL HONESTY, these kind of friends are not friends, and they are just users and abusers for their own selfish gains, if it be a pal to drink with or your gaff to drink at, if the plug is pulled on drink then most go down the plug hole with it...
But these kind of people are not what you need and in my own story i found myself all alone, me/myself and i. but that was the group of friends i needed back then, i certainly didnt need all the pretend ones and i told many of them this when my strength returned.
Now the friends i have want nothing from me and get nothing from me apart from my friendship and they happy with that.
I dont wish to boast but i do get a lot of respect from both young and old(all my kids mates think im great ()o ) and this is just me being me and nothing more.
If i had a choice to either go back and have all the users in my life again or live alone in a box (with my laptop) i would have to choose the latter every time.
People who drink and who are friends and can not understand that its just not for you are not worth a extra thought, i have a friend that drinks and drinks a little to much but never pushes the issue with me and i would never push mine on her, when shes ready to stop she will.
But we all must just think of number one for a short while untill recovery is well on the way, and there is nothing selfish about this because the true fact of the matter is if you dont look after NUMBER ONE and somthing happens to number one...Yes people will miss you for a while but life go's on with or without you..
So start looking after yourself/stuff gossips and tittle-tattle/hold your head up high and do it with pride cuz this battle with booze is far under estimated untill you have it to fight yourself, then and only then you find out how hard it really is...
So all be proud of your battle cuz once your on the winning side you will feel so proud, and rightly so.......Then you can stick two fingers up to your so called mates/family ;)? ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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conkers1
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October General Support and Chat

Post by conkers1 »

Great post linda.. So true that

Im nearly a month sober, and funnily enough i havnt heard a thing from most of my so called friends at all in the last 3 weeks!

The first couple of sober days i had so called friends phone me trying to get me to go to the pub, but when they realised that i was deadly serious about quitting drinking they dissapeared of the face of the earth!

The only true friends you have are yourself, and people who want to be your friend weather you drink or not.

you're worth it
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by you're worth it »

Hi October chat. Great post Linda (you do talk so much sense!!!) :D

I think the "selfish" bit is important - in the nicest possible way. I don't mean use or abuse people while we are recovering, but sobriety has to come first. Real friends will stick by, new friends will turn up when necessary. At the moment I'm doing very little but basic chores, some exercise, eating sensibly, reading, resting and not drinking. The problems of the world can go away for a while. Let's wait until I am a bit stronger to deal with them. I know I am not mentally OK - my memory is terrible, I keep going up and down like a yo yo, etc. I don't think I'm in any place to decide on anything at the moment. That is one of the difficulties I have been having with AA. It has helped me a lot, but I find the thought of having to make "amends"to people I have got resentments for difficult to face at the moment. Maybe that will change in time.
Have a good Sunday, everyone

claremo

Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by claremo »

Hi everyone not sure if there is a seperate thread for this question but i noticed a few of you mention books on drinking, any reccomendations either factual or real life stories? Thanks x

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Clare.. I read a real good real true story book about drink and the effect the drink had on the family, i cant remember the name but i will find out 2moz, even me who find books boring, i couldnt put that book down.....And im also in the middle of Phoenix in a bottle, but at the mo im at a boring bit and cant get past it, but cant skip or wont get the whole story, but up to this bit this book is also good, cant say about the end(yet)....But the other i will find out the name 2morrow and if you read it i bet you agree.. <:)> <:)> <:)>
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Hi there N-John... If you feel u can rid both at once then go for it bud....But being a smoker myself and wishing so much i could kick it, i have to look at it like yes they are both harmfull, but drink for me was far more harmfull the smokes.....Now what the future holds for me because of smoking only then i will know, but i just know how ill drink made me then, and i drank far far more than i smoke, but when i drank i did smoke less....But if you feel u can do it, then go far it ;)? ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

another_day
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by another_day »

Cut back on the cigarettes slowly so your body isn't assaulted with both coming off alcohol and nicotine. Nicotine is a powerful, powerful drug, and people often overlook it. Nicotine is a huge trigger to alcohol, there are tons of people out there who only smoke when they drink...they go hand in hand as they amplify each others effects.

But the long term effects to your health of quitting both will be massive.

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

I would love to cut my smokes out, but i speak with my gp about this and since dad died and my breakdown/and this/that she says if i try to give up now i will either fail or worse turn back to drink, so until my times right i will stick with what i know....I could get knocked over with a bus 2moz but not staying indoors just incase ;)? ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Sorry winker. I cant take these medications.. Yes you might think crazy and so do i cuz i smoke and get the shit through the fags, but im on some heavy shit medication and it simply wont mix..
My specialist has said deffo NO to chapix... And i have been down that road so many times but the will power just is not there yet..
My dad smoked like 60 per day many year ago and one year they went up in budget and he just smoked hes last one screwed up the packet and said thats it im smoking no more and never touched a single one, no replacements no nothing..But i simply cant just now.
Im hoping when i start college and i cant smoke in class i will cut back that way, cuz i can cut back when i have too, but if i think this way it sends my smoke thoughts into overdrive and im puffing away like a steam train :lol: :lol: So lets see when im in college and cannot smoke for long lengths of time... ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Kazz im going to study...........Alcohol counselling.....Hows about that?? ;)? ;)? ;)? But got to get my maths and english exams first, i left school 30 year ago with nothing. ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Well if i need that kind of help like questions and answers i will be hoping that some of my buddy's on here can help..But for many years since alcohol took over my life and the help simply was not there it has been my ambition, but until now i have not been in a happy place, but now i am, im going for it. Im starting english and maths at college after my assessment on thurs...Then in oct i start a Open university introduction to counselling..Then jan i start health and social care at college, the Open Uni is like a taster and some experience till jan when course at college starts......So i will get where i want/when i dont know, but i will get there..And im so happy :D :D :D
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

Mandrake
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by Mandrake »

Hi nagajohn

My opinion on your Issue with booze/fags is deal with the booze first. Smoking will kill you but drinking will ruin your life, then kill you.

I gave up drink 2 and a half years ago and continued smoking. Then this spring (2 years sober) I felt ready to sort the fags out. Lots of nicotine replacement and will power Has done the trick for 6 months and counting. There's no way I think I could have done both at the same time but that's just me.
I'm sure you will feel loads better now youare tackling these troublesome substances

Mandrake
Ps there's a good nhs quit smoking app which tells you how longsince your last cigarette (177 days and 40 minutes) and how much cash you've saved (£549.76) are my current stats. I've found it quite helpful

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Tom bud. I have had this with DWP and i myself made a complaint, one thing in life i have always thought and this is not drink induced i have always thought it!
Just because we are less fortunate people than others in this life, we wasn't born with a silver spoon in our gob, duz not make us any less of a human being and deserve the same respect has ANYBODY in this world, i give respect to those who give it to me.
Rich or poor i dont care, if they look down their snotty nose at me or speak down to me they get it, both barrels!
We all breath the same air and sorry to say but we all take a dump (even the queen duz this)
so because these people at DWP have a job to sort you claim duz not give them the right to speak to you any way they feel fit..I just put the phone down on them and ring back explain why i have rung back and ask to speak with somebody that got out of bed at the right side :lol: ..I do have to make exceptions for police and judges even though i dont like to ;)?
But no bud your just as good has the next man and DONT let anybody tell you any different, or i will be down to sort them(or up depending where you live hahaha) Try have a good day and dont let some snotty cow who probly didnt get her wicked way last night spoil your day :D
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Do you know Tom and im not just saying this to make you feel better, and i will swear on MY DADDY BEARS memory ... Your story is like looking back at me, it took me weeks to leave the house, and when i did one day pluck up strength to do so i got up to my local coop and thought "OH MY GOD" i was stuck....I could not tell anybody and nobody was arround to ring and pick me up. I was walking like i was still pissed and people looking at me in that way, i just wanted to scream NO YOU NOSEY BASTARDS im not pissed!! But after that i would not go out alone, even though i got all the "Oh well done, you have done so well", but no amount of praise would get me out of my house....So i can understand how you feel right now and i wish i could be that friend you need just now..Cuz the friends that drink are not the ones you need.. Do you have a debit card by any chance? Cuz you could try and shop on line, say Asda? If your expecting money to go in bank maybe it will go through i know mine does..But if your friend does come i know you cant buy much with the money you have but it is only till 2morrorow...
Do you have any family that will help? Maybe you think they all hate you but you could be very surprised that in fact they take the attitude they do because they dont know how to cope bud....Please get back to my post if you can... <:)> <:)>
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Oh dear tom <:)> <:)> But give your friend time to reply, maybe shes busy just now, but if you want just msg her again and say how desperate you are and she is the only person you feel you can trust and if you have offended her in any way while drunk then your sorry and you cant feel any worse than you do now, im sure bud she will understand.. <:)>
But get on line, get some shopping done at asda, yeh it will be weds but at least you know on weds you will have things in the house.....Try and think good thoughts and yes keep your sense of humour, i always feared i would loose mine, i got mine from my Dad and im so proud to have it, and if the booze stole that away well i would not be here today... ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

nathan_
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by nathan_ »

Hi all, its been a while since ive been on here, been nearly a month since ive been back on the booze now, nowhere as much as i used to, but a few heavy sessions. I dont think my body can keep up with even the smaller amounts now, night sweats most nights. Im drinking as I'm writing this, for a few reasons.
I have started a course in health and social care, a real oppurtunity for me. I have met a girl on the course. I have it all at this very moment. This girl does have a child and a boyfreind (who isnt the father) who is awaymost the time in the army. We havnt really got to know each other, its just been about the sex. We are very different...or so I might be making myself think.
I have a very good track record of self destruction, and making it even worse when things arnet good.
For a long time now ive been wanting a woman so much, wanting to work towards a good job...
And for no real reason atall, im grumpy in myself, I dont show it, but part of me was quite content being alone and surviving on money I earn. But I couldnt be content with not having a woman. I have it great though! No string attatched sex, but she is on my course for the next 2 years. Im wondering how long till she finds out im a grumpy old bastard who is 23 who acts like im 40. Last night for example, after the deed had been done, I went downstairs in her house to make a supersize cocktail with no mixer, then a couple of beers soon after that.
I guess I like things all my own way on my territory, but still no doubt id find someting to complain to myself about. Maybe I just feel like this because I've given myself a cold from all this drinking.
I dont know...its all fun , its easy, I guess I'm just selfish in my core, and cover it all up with being nice to everyone. I accept that I'm a bastard, but want to be a really good person aswell. I guess I just dont feel comfortable with having a bastard inside me...
If that made any sense :)
I need to stop drinking again is the main thing I think, maybe a big part of why I feel like this.Im just do self destructive! Last night I felt so uncomftarble sleeping beside her because the night sweats hit me with a vengence! so I went and got another beer to give my liver something to do so I wouldnt sweat so much :roll:
The life of an alcohoholic eh... what a twat I am lol
I dont want my liver to pack up, and my kidneys, heart attack, and give myself brain damage and ruin my skin for good, and then die a slow miserable painful lonely death. I dont want to fear these feelings anymore. Goodbye alcohol

nathan_
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by nathan_ »

oh an Im going over hers again tomorrow...and what am I doing DRINKING! More night sweats to come... jesus christ...
I dont want my liver to pack up, and my kidneys, heart attack, and give myself brain damage and ruin my skin for good, and then die a slow miserable painful lonely death. I dont want to fear these feelings anymore. Goodbye alcohol

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linda6666
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Re: October General Support and Chat

Post by linda6666 »

Nathan bud. Only you know the answer to this really in all truth..Sorry you are back on the sauce. Is it what you really want or are you just lost in it? And im not speaking AA speak ;)? ;)? ;)?
I Have a Guardian Angel in heaven... I call him DADDY BEAR. I AM NOW 10 YEARS DRY AND LOVING IT,SO PROUD OF ME ;-)
We are all given a 2nd chance every day, it's just we don't usually take them . I TOOK MINE :\:

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