martha wrote: ↑
15 Jun 2019 07:45
Not coping. I'm sorry to post here but there is nobody I can tell. My mind has been in turmoil all week and I have been drinking. I'm afraid I've made myself very ill and I don't cope well with physical illness by myself. I have no appetite or hunger and am very sick when I try to take in fluids. I've gulped a lot of orange juice this morning due to thirst but again was sick. I've drunk some water now and trying to keep it down along with a beta blocker for the anxiety. My heart is racing and I'm freezing cold. I know this is my fault and I deserve no sympathy. I'm not wobbling due to wanting to drink alcohol. I really don't. I'm wobbling with anxiety and fear.
Oh lord Maria
It's SO horrible, isn't it? Just keep telling yourself that it's like having a stomach bug - you'll still feel weak and ill tomorrow, but you'll be a great deal better than you are today! You just have to accept that you're ill, and the cause is irrelevant now. Keep telling yourself that it's passing. I used to find it helpful to tell myself that my body was reacting as if to a case of food poisoning - it's cleansing toxins, it's a natural process. I'd lay off the orange juice - it's acidic. Keep a glass of plain water by you and just sip it. Rehydration sachets may help if you have them, or what I used to do was have something salty, like bovril, packet soup, vegetable stock dissolved in hot water, miso soup. Don't worry if you can't eat today, you'll be able to manage toast tomorrow and then you'll soon be on the mend.
If you're still worried then contact the NHS drinkline, they're open at the weekend during the day for calls and online chat. You can get advice (which might include tapering) in confidence that way and it might help reduce that awful anxiety.
I'd also try to memorise the experience, unpleasant as it it. I did that the day I joined BE, and as soon as a drinking thought pops into my head I'm able to conjure up a powerful memory of my misery that day, retching up bile, sweating, riddled with fear and hating myself. It's a tool tool to have in the "never again" box - you really don't ever have to feel like this again.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.