Online Alcohol Therapy |  Do you need professional help? |  Alcoholism & Recovery Articles |  Self Help Resources

The Wobble Board

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Sleepyb
Posts: 2024
Joined: 09 Jun 2018 10:00
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Sleepyb » 15 Jun 2019 11:26

Oh Martha <:)>
Yes as SB said, I have to keep remembering how I felt last time I stopped drinking, it is still acting as a deterrent xx

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 369
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 15 Jun 2019 13:43

Dear Martha <:)> <:)> <:)>

You are such a sweet, kind and caring individual and it breaks my heart to hear you're suffering like this. No one deserves to feel like that but least of all you. Try and almost step outside yourself and see yourself as a dear friend who is poorly, nurse yourself with the tenderness and compassion you would show others. Sally's suggestion of rehydration with the sachets and/or water with something salty is excellent - basically you need water, sodium (regular salt) and potassium which will be found in rehydration drinks or bananas (it's in other fruit and veg too but they're not as easy on the stomach - bananas are nice and bland and non-acidic). Dry toast, crackers, plain rice are good for stomach settling as they'll soak up the acid.

Curl up in bed with a hot water bottle and rest as much as possible. Maybe put on a podcast or something to distract yourself? Something soothing that you would be able to fall asleep to.

Lots of love to you and really hope you feel better soon in body and mind xoxox

p.s. and as for deserving no sympathy...well I hope you can see that this is completely untrue, we have ALL been there literally hundreds of times and I know you always have sympathy for others in a state! You deserve it as much as anyone else, it's just the horrible effects of alcohol that leave you feeling so wretched and worthless. But you are loved and you are deserving and you are understood. <:)>

Luckychap
Posts: 245
Joined: 24 Oct 2017 13:09
Last Drink Date: 04 Feb 2019
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Luckychap » 15 Jun 2019 22:26

Hiya Martha, I know how awful anxiety is. You must not feel anything other than good about posting as without the people on here, I would have been in a real mess. Anxiety is horrible. But, it never stays forever, it always passes. Knowing that it will end can help. If you can, know trying to think your way out will make it worse. Distraction and breathing exercises help. I am reading a book called I met a monk. It's funny and has lots of mind help. It's helping me feel better. I am sending you love and positive thoughts x soothe yourself x

REL
Posts: 43
Joined: 24 Jan 2019 11:49
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by REL » 19 Jun 2019 19:58

Anyone about? Currently sat freaking out about a medical procedure (not drink related) that I have tomorrow :(. Wondering if after such a long time without it that one drink would help keep the worry gremlins at bay? If I’ve been so in control for this long then I can control myself tonight and have a drink and stop. I feel so much stronger now than before!
Last edited by REL on 19 Jun 2019 22:42, edited 1 time in total.

TrueState
Posts: 483
Joined: 17 Feb 2019 21:35
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by TrueState » 19 Jun 2019 20:07

Sounds really tough REL <:)>
But you know that drink aint gonna help any and most likely turn into more than one.
What can you do right this moment to take your mind off it...something like a Bath, going for a walk,phoning a mate for a good natter, cooking some food, reading old posts on here including ones of your own from when you first joined BE?

It will pass and you will get through you're procedure just hold on tight and don't give in to those permission thoughts <:)>

Keep posting REL

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5276
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Jun 2019 20:11

REL wrote:
19 Jun 2019 19:58
Anyone about? Currently sat freaking out about a medical procedure (not drink related) that I have tomorrow :(. Wondering if after such a long time without it that one drink would help keep the worry gremlins at bay? If I’ve been so in control for this long then I can control myself tonight and have a drink and stop. I feel so much stronger now than before! Also feeling slightly worked up after a chat with someone at work. One of those days...
Evening REL. These are permission thoughts. Pesky little buggers that need swatting. Your addiction will look for ANYTHING it can use to get you to drink, but it will no more stop at one drink than a hungry tiger would be happy with just a little nibble!
I have sat so often with those thoughts, literally hundreds of times, and every time I picked up i came to regret it bitterly. Its an illusion that we stop again. Its like someone stranded in the water in a storm, who finds a liferaft but decides to jump off it thinking they'll be able to find it again.
What do you usually do when permission thoughts or cravings pop up? Do whatever works, people often say that a bath and getting into pyjamas helps.
You're just beginning to see the benefits of sobriety and this is just when you need to hang on and go through, not slide back where you came from. Its often said that no-one, ever, regrets having stayed sober the next morning - run the tape forward and think how proud you'll be, clear headed in the morning and able to face the day's challenges so much better.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

User avatar
Cowboy
Posts: 2388
Joined: 31 Jul 2016 10:55
Location: Canadian Wilderness
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Cowboy » 19 Jun 2019 20:27

Listen to Sober Boots REL. Can't add much more.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8045
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 19 Jun 2019 21:41

Hi REL,

It is positive that you have reached out here on the wobble thread, hopefully in doing so you have read the above posts and have managed to dismiss the thoughts that are lying to you. In other words, subconsciously we lie to ourselves in order to drink again, it is that simple. The problem that brought you to the forum will still be there, we cannot wish a drink problem away.

Are you able to get off your chest what is bothering you about your work day and your procedure tomorrow ?

If you are reading, take care

Nicky xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

REL
Posts: 43
Joined: 24 Jan 2019 11:49
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by REL » 19 Jun 2019 22:41

Thanks everyone. I’m doing ok - feeling calmer but may go for a walk shortly to get some air and wind down for bed. X

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5276
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Jun 2019 22:57

REL wrote:
19 Jun 2019 22:41
Thanks everyone. I’m doing ok - feeling calmer but may go for a walk shortly to get some air and wind down for bed. X
Good on you REL. Make sure the walk doesn't take you near a shop or pub!
I still sometimes don't know what to do with my feelings, especially anxiety. I've been anxious this week, and don't think I've handled it brilliantly TBH. But any thought that I "needed" a drink has gone from me now. I'veearnt that uncomfortable feelings are passing for one thing, and have only limited power - the reality of them is much less then my alcoholic self had built them up to be. You know, if I'm stressed my head's not going to fall off or anything! I also know, and have proved through decades of research, that alcohol makes me feel much, much worse...
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8045
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 19 Jun 2019 23:46

Well done REL, glad you are feeling calmer. Take care and after a good nights sleep you will hopefully be feeling much better in the morning. <:)>

Best wishes xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 369
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 21 Jun 2019 16:44

Hi REL, how are you doing? Hope your medical procedure was as stress and pain free as possible.

I'm wobbling at the moment due to difficult time at work yesterday and being somewhat isolated away with my extended family this weekend. I love them dearly but also get a bit cabin fever-y in these situations. Especially as I feel ashamed when giving the inevitable life updates - although my cousins are all much younger their achievements are v impressive. I on the other hand have only just finished a period of unemployment preceded by a shitty minimum wage job I hated. And am eternally single. I'm sure they don't judge me harshly but it's how I feel about myself. Anyway the temptation to drink is strong.

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5276
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 21 Jun 2019 17:50

I'm wobbling at the moment due to difficult time at work yesterday and being somewhat isolated away with my extended family this weekend. I love them dearly but also get a bit cabin fever-y in these situations. Especially as I feel ashamed when giving the inevitable life updates - although my cousins are all much younger their achievements are v impressive. I on the other hand have only just finished a period of unemployment preceded by a shitty minimum wage job I hated. And am eternally single. I'm sure they don't judge me harshly but it's how I feel about myself.
OK, let's turn this one its head. I'm going to tell you all the strengths I see in what you just said.

You have an extended family you really love, and who you are very positive about. I bet they appreciate all that warmth.
You are spending time with them, and you know that when you go home you'll have more "me" time, and that's good too.
You have got yourself out of being in a job that you hated.
You are no longer unemployed, you have a job, which is great and in time may open up all sorts of opportunities.
You are a strong woman who is not prepared to settle for being in any old relationship, it has to be right.
You have faced up to your addiction, owned your problem, and not only that but:
You have clocked up an impressive period of sobriety.

Shame's a horrible thing, and that sneaky bugger our addictive voice uses it to try to undermine us. I don't see anything for you to be ashamed about, I see someone who deserves a bloody great round of applause! I am sure you would not be so harsh to a frined or one of your cousins in the same shoes, so you need to be kinder to yourself too. We can't compare ourselves to others - our experience is unique to us, and many a seemingly happy successful person is fighting demons we can't see but which are huge to them. We can only work to be the best and most authentic people we can be, and we don't achieve that by getting hammered - that way lies an overdose of shame which will spiral into more drink, because that's the way the cycle spins.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

User avatar
SueDenim
Posts: 1000
Joined: 01 Apr 2017 16:33
Last Drink Date: 28 Aug 2017
First Sober Date: 29 Aug 2017
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SueDenim » 21 Jun 2019 20:38

I second that post - SB's way of looking at things is the sensible way <:)>

Shame is only useful when it stops people from doing bad things (like murder or being deliberately horrible - not having a bit of bad luck, or living our lives slightly differently from 'average'.). When it's not doing that it just gets in the way of enjoyment, and stops us from appreciating the good things in life. Believe me, I know.

What is it the song says? Accentuate the positive/Eliminate the negative/Latch on to the affirmative/Don't mess with Mister In-between? :D

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8045
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 21 Jun 2019 22:12

Hi Luckycat,

Just wanted to send you some positive vibes for this weekend. Its hard not to feel down on yourself when other family around you seem to be high achieving where, in comparison, you might have been going through a difficult patch yourself. Hey, you are probably spot on that they don't judge you harshly. We are our own worse critics aren't we ? We can be expert at holding onto unhelpful thinking patterns, thinking we are failing or not good enough. The difficult work day may have knocked your confidence a bit, but i hope you are feeling better now and not still turning that over in your head. Do take care, and keep your head up high, you are individual and unique and very worthy ! Drinking only sabotages any good feeling so do your best to stay AF and well done for posting here <:)>
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 369
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 22 Jun 2019 08:26

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind replies, Sally, Sue and Nicky. Honestly, if it wasn't for lovely people like you on here I never would have made it this far.

Sally, I love how you gave me a fresh perpective, I have a real tendency to focus on the negative sides of everything and it's neither true nor helpful! I honestly believe the most important thing in life is to love and be loved and I'm blessed to have that, no not romantically, but as you say better to be single than to settle. I have a loving family and a few close friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin, that means the world to me. Career wise things are moving in the right direction and so what if it's taken a while (decades :roll: ) for me to find my path, I definitely need to stop comparing myself to others. Thank you, thank you, thank you for always taking the time and thought to come up with exactly the words I need to hear. You are a very special person and I hope you know how loved you are on here and undoubtedly in 'real' life too. <:)>

Sue, what you say about shame is very very true! I'm happy to report I've never murdered anyone and can be pretty darn sure I never will :D Had never heard that song and am listening to it now - love it! Thank you <:)>

Thanks for the positive vibes Nicky, you're a sweetie. We definitely are our worst critics, I guess it's a self-defense mechanism (get in there first before anyone else can?) but not a helpful one! The difficult work day didn't so much knock my confidence it was just very, very sad as a young patient died and it fell to me to care for her after death and then be with the family afterwards. There's no sense to be found in such a tragedy and I just struggled a lot to hold it together. I now have a few days off to kind of decompress which is a big relief and having slept well last night (thanks sobriety!!) I definitely feel a little stronger and ready to take on the day. Thanks again for your kindness, hope you are doing well and have a good day <:)>

Last night was a pub meal, stuck to Heineken 0% with only a few pangs for the 'real' stuff others were drinking. Have got into a habit of hot milk in bed every night which I find really helpful to calm me ready for sleep and is just sweet enough to feel like a small but nourishing treat. Then I stick a podcast on and off (usually) I drift. ;)?

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5276
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 22 Jun 2019 10:40

Well done Lucky Cat (::) (::) (::) (::) It's not actually as hard as our addiction makes it seem, is it? It's just a few hours which pass quickly with good company, and the urge to drink, if it's there at all, is just a tickle really not the raging uncontrollable force we imagine it to be.

I've just popped on to say that one thing that's really helped me, and you might find good too, is gratitude practice. There's lots of formats, but I do this almost every night just as I'm going to sleep - I open my mind to things I've been grateful for/appreciative of. Often they're small things, the baby frogs in my pond or a good conversation with a friend. When my mood's low it's a tougher exercise and I might have to dig for things. It does remind me not to take things for granted - I have a home I like in a place I love, good friends, an interesting job, I enjoy good food, reading, watching films... we tend to fail to notice what we have and envy others instead. It'll sound silly, but not that long ago I went out with a group and a woman came who'd had both her legs amputated at the hip. She was happily married, still worked and they even go camping as a hobby. I can always jolt myself out of self-pity, and laugh at it, by saying to myself "well, at least I've still got me legs!"
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8045
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 22 Jun 2019 20:07

LuckyCat wrote:
22 Jun 2019 08:26
The difficult work day didn't so much knock my confidence it was just very, very sad as a young patient died and it fell to me to care for her after death and then be with the family afterwards. There's no sense to be found in such a tragedy and I just struggled a lot to hold it together. I now have a few days off to kind of decompress which is a big relief and having slept well last night (thanks sobriety!!) I definitely feel a little stronger and ready to take on the day.
Oh i see, that sounds very huge for you or anybody who has to deal with such a sad situation <:)> I'm sure the family of the young patient were very grateful to have someone like you there as you seem a very caring, sensitive and compassionate person. <:)> I hope you have managed to decompress a little now, and have some normality back. Take care xxx

Hi REL if you are looking in, how are you ? Have been thinking of you <:)> xxx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 369
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 23 Jun 2019 09:02

That's really kind of you to say Nicky, thank you <:)> I was able to reassure them she passed peacefully and talk to them about how comfortable she'd been when I'd cared for her the previous day, and the things we had done to keep her comfortable. And I made them all tea because as we Brits know, that solves everything ;) There's also a lot of things I wish had been done differently but have to chalk that up to experience.

Sally, thanks for the reminder about gratitude practice. I agree it helps enormously, especially if you have a tendency to dwell on the negative and be self-critical...I'm going to take a wild guess and say this is not uncommon in this group of lovely people on BE?!

Have posted on the appropriate thread but when I get home am also going to dig out my pretty notebook I used for it previously. I'm weird/old-fashioned and find handwriting things extra therapeutic.

REL how are you doing? Hope things went well with your procedure.

REL
Posts: 43
Joined: 24 Jan 2019 11:49
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by REL » 24 Jun 2019 19:24

LuckyCat wrote:
23 Jun 2019 09:02
REL how are you doing? Hope things went well with your procedure.
Evening LuckyCat :)
Thanks to you and everyone else for their kind words. The procedure was tough both physically and mentally and I’m feeling particularly fragile. I managed to get through a pretty full on client workshop today though and I clocked up 7 months AF on Saturday so those are positives. I’m sure my body has done a lot of healing in this time and I’m feeling so much more stronger than before I started this journey so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself when I’m feeling flat. How is everyone else? I’ve booked a long weekend off in July to go and visit a friend in Paris (my second home) - she has been in an 11 year relationship with another friend of mine, and they have an 8 month old. She messaged me the other week to say that he woke up and said he didn’t love her anymore. It’s really upset me and made me question even those ‘genuine’ relationships that you think are strong and based on real connection. Anyway...I’m going to see her and try to support. I’ll feel valuable at least for a few days :)

Post Reply