Online Alcohol Therapy |  Do you need professional help? |  Alcoholism & Recovery Articles |  Self Help Resources

The Wobble Board

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8030
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 24 Jun 2019 21:18

Good to hear from you REL. <:)>
REL wrote:
24 Jun 2019 19:24
The procedure was tough both physically and mentally and I’m feeling particularly fragile. I managed to get through a pretty full on client workshop today though and I clocked up 7 months AF on Saturday so those are positives. I’m sure my body has done a lot of healing in this time and I’m feeling so much more stronger than before I started this journey so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself when I’m feeling flat.
Well done for getting through the client workshop and through the tough medical procedure. Sorry you are feeling flat but it will pass and you are doing really well staying AF over 7 months. It may be your friend's relationship breakup that is adding to the flatness as it has upset you and made you question the validity of relationships in general (understandably). Hope your long weekend in Paris goes well, i'm sure your friend will really appreciate your support. :) xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 367
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 04 Jul 2019 07:24

This is a polite request for a kick up the bum please. I'm day 31 which is objectively A GOOD THING. But feel very flat and exhausted -the sleep honeymoon seems to be well and truly over. I miss the giving less of a f**k that alcohol temporarily gave me. Overall my anxiety is so much more manageable but it's more just me, myself and my problematic personality! I drive myself crazy not getting my arse in gear to do the basic things I know are necessary for a happy healthy life - eating well, socializing, exercising, keeping my surroundings clean and tidy, having hobbies, getting out into nature... Can't get over the mindset that it's too much effort even though I know these things perk you up rather than tire you. Sorry this is a really pointless moan - I know what I need to do and only I can do it!! Anyone else have similar feelings?

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5228
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Jul 2019 08:36

I drive myself crazy not getting my arse in gear to do the basic things I know are necessary for a happy healthy life - eating well, socializing, exercising, keeping my surroundings clean and tidy, having hobbies, getting out into nature... Can't get over the mindset that it's too much effort even though I know these things perk you up rather than tire you. Sorry this is a really pointless moan
It's not pointless at all! Kudos for getting on here and talking about it!

I was exactly the same about not being able to do the basics. I'd make myself do lists and then beat myself up for not completing them. The thing is LC that these ways of existing have buikt up usually over a long time. In my case I'd be seized with a sort of anxiety coupled with a sense of pointlessness when I thought about all the things I "should" be doing - so then I'd drink, which would obliterate the feeling for a while, until I woke up depressed, hungover, and with the list still there!

What I'd say is that while you're doing supr well with sobriety it is still early days. I noticed my interest in things and appreciation of the world returning gradually - for me it was appreciating nature that came first. I'm over two years in now and I'm still noticing improvements! There seemed to be a tipping point at around 6 months. Some of what you're experience is still direct psychological withdrawal effects, and some of it is the awful disconnection from life that alcohol creates - going from F*** IT! to WOW! takes a lot of rewiring and repair work.

Similarly sleep took a long time - months - to settle down for me. If you're tired you're not going to feel very enthusiastic about life. So don't put yourself under too much pressure, you are in recovery and that is enough. Have smaller tasks - do one thing every day just for enjoyment, even if it's just sitting out in the sun for an hour or watching a film.

Have patience - you know you're on the right road. You also knew the road would have dull stretches and rough patches - now you're actually encountering these, but only because you've progressed far enough. Turn back and you return to misery. Push forward, the way gets easier and the views start to open up. Ground yourself - I find gratitude practice really helpful, and always do a mental list every day of the ways in which my sober day is better than the equivalent day when I was drinking.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Spats
Posts: 4910
Joined: 03 Sep 2017 15:12
Last Drink Date: 24 Dec 2018
First Sober Date: 25 Dec 2018
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Spats » 04 Jul 2019 10:10

Hi LC :\: try not to beat yourself up so much. Years ago when I started with depression I couldn’t seem to function and like you made lists only to feel worse for not doing anything. Ticking off one thing each day or every other day seemed to get me through. And you’re doing brilliantly staying sober for 31 days \:)/

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 367
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 05 Jul 2019 10:20

Thank you Sally and Spats <:)>

I was at a really low ebb and way overtired, just wasn't able to see things clearly at all.

I read both your posts while at work yesterday and they really gave me the encouragement, strength and perpective I was lacking. Wasn't able to reply (or frankly even form sentences I was so knackered!) but carried your words with me as I went about the rest of my day. I can honestly say I would have drank if it hadn't been for the thought of you supporting me and giving me hope.

Sally, you describe the process behind the thoughts and actions (making lists, not doing them, drinking out of despair/frustration etc) so well and you're right - these ways of being are built up over a long long time, can't expect to break out of them overnight. I love what you say about the road to sobriety and how a better life continues to build as more sober time is built up. That's great that you're still noticing new improvements even now!

I really, really don't want to go back to the start of the road - you're right, that place is misery as I have proved to myself 46,123,664,234 times (approx). But equally need to get out of the black/white thinking of if I'm not drinking all should be fluffy rainbow kittens and unicorns made of sunshine :lol2:

Enjoyed nature this morning - got out into the garden and picked raspberries in the sun. Lovely.

Big hugs to both of you and to anyone else reading this <:)> <:)> <:)>

User avatar
Luna_
Posts: 299
Joined: 12 Nov 2018 20:08
Last Drink Date: 18 Apr 2019
Location: north
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Luna_ » 05 Jul 2019 18:24

Ah, Lucky Cat,
Well done on your 31 days sober <:)>
Great advice from soberboots and spats there. Ihave always found that time difficult, the first month seems to go slowly, first getting out of the drinking rut, then trying to recover sleep and general physical and mental health - but without the energy to DO things. Just like you say - I have lists and lists, but it's still like wading through treacle. I want to excercise, eat healthy, lose weight, do up the house etc etc - but still my lists accumulate.. I think this is totally NORMAL - and we should really just try to be kind.

The whee - over a month - the so now what feeling. It should all be so much better, right? But it doesn't work that way. It took years/decades to get us to the depths of an alcohol problem - it's not just going to go away in 30 days.

I'm right there with you on the lists, procrastination and sluggish feeling. Would posting on the To Do thread (max a small and do-able list there) or would you care to join me on the Life Improvement Workshop? Pick one positive "feel good" thing and one positive "from the list" task each day - even if the latter is only hoovering the living room or making the bathroom sink shine.

I have had wobbles galore of late - some really astonishingly powerful ones, triggered by... well.. old triggers. But I've used the HALT techniques to great success. When in that shaking "I really, reallly need a drink - riiiight now" modus - do something to combat whichever feeling(s) apply Hungry? Have something NOW. Doesn't matter what - anything is better than booze, even in terms of calories! Angry? Walk up and down the stairs if indoors, twice round the building or whatever. Lonely? Call someone, message someone, write someone a quick handwritten note, post on here, or Reddit or FB or wherever. Tired? Take a short time-out. A power nap. A short read of a book, a bath, a cup of coffee. OR - even more important THIRSTY - Down a huge glass of water, with or without lemon, cordial or whatever, then re-think. If still craving, drink some more. Headache? Meditate or take an asprin.

The above has got me through some very tough challenges and I am very grateful for it.

Best wishes to you, and all <:)>
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

User avatar
LuckyCat
Posts: 367
Joined: 27 Feb 2019 16:50
Last Drink Date: 02 Jun 2020
First Sober Date: 03 Jun 2020
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by LuckyCat » 06 Jul 2019 08:48

Thanks Luna <:)>

Wading through treacle is a very apt description to how it feels sometimes! I love your Life Improvement Workshop idea, yes please to joining!

Today my feel good thing will be lying in my garden with a good book and a pint of 'posh squash'.

The one thing I WILL do from the list is hoover my house. Ideally I will also mop because that lemony fresh smell always makes me feel like I am doing ok at life :lol2:

Luckychap
Posts: 243
Joined: 24 Oct 2017 13:09
Last Drink Date: 04 Feb 2019
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Luckychap » 06 Jul 2019 22:36

Hey lucky cat I think you are going through PAWS. I had it and still do sometimes. Just keep going you are doing ace it will pass xxx

REL
Posts: 43
Joined: 24 Jan 2019 11:49
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by REL » 23 Jul 2019 18:49

I’m having what feels like a massive breakdown and have no one to call or talk to. My throat is knotted and I can’t stop crying. I’m walking myself into the ground hoping I fall somewhere I can sleep and forget everything.

martha
Posts: 2192
Joined: 13 Mar 2010 11:28
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by martha » 23 Jul 2019 19:21

Hi REL,
So sorry to see you're feeling like this <:)> Is it something you want to talk to us about?
What kinds of things have helped you before when you've felt like this?
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5228
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 23 Jul 2019 21:46

REL wrote:
23 Jul 2019 18:49
I’m having what feels like a massive breakdown and have no one to call or talk to. My throat is knotted and I can’t stop crying. I’m walking myself into the ground hoping I fall somewhere I can sleep and forget everything.
Hey REL, that sounds very difficult. Do you know any deep breathing techniques? I ground myself by doing slow, deep breathing sometimes and it's very helpful when you're feeling all churned up.

Did something start it off, or has it just arrived without warning?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8030
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 23 Jul 2019 21:54

Hello REL <:)>

Like Martha i'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Your sound very down and exhausted. I can relate to what you describe as i have felt the same way in the past and walked through the streets, late at night, even though exhausted and tearful. Looking back, the best option would have been to go to bed, have a good cry, a warm drink and then try and sleep. Its hard to talk to someone and explain things when you feel this way. But talking is what can really help, though it may be better after a good night's rest to do this. It can be risky walking around feeling so vulnerable and unhappy, as the pull of the off licence could be stronger. If you are reading REL, please know that we are thinking of you, and hoping you are home safe and resting. Take good care and do post when you feel able <:)> <:)>

Crossed posts with Sally x
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

g-man
Posts: 309
Joined: 21 Aug 2012 04:33
Last Drink Date: 11 Aug 2018
First Sober Date: 12 Aug 2018
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by g-man » 24 Jul 2019 04:28

Hi REL, hope you are back home and safe. Day 228 I think, an amazing accomplishment so have hope in your progress and you will get through. How are things at work, or still on holidays? It can take a few days to get into a new challenge so give it a bit of time and take care.
I had my final drink August 11th, 2018.

REL
Posts: 43
Joined: 24 Jan 2019 11:49
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by REL » 24 Jul 2019 11:18

Morning all,
Apologies for not having messaged before. I had very little battery and have only just got to somewhere with a charging bank. I ended up staying out last night - I couldn’t bear going home. The whole thing came from an accumulation of incessant criticism from my Dad towards me. (I still live with my parents as I owe my Dad some money that I’m trying to pay off before saving up to move out). I’m on holiday so seeing them more than usual but he is being much more spiteful than usual and it’s really starting to hurt. Thanks for all of your sweet messages of support. I do appreciate them xxx

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8030
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 24 Jul 2019 16:03

Good to hear from you REL <:)> That must be hurtful, your dad's behaviour towards you, and no wonder you were upset last night. I often think that a parent's criticism cuts deeper than anyone else's. I'm not sure why, but i just know that a parent's disapproval, criticism or rejection does hurt. We kind of still hope for their approval and unconditional acceptance, no matter how old we are. I hope things will be better for you today, and that you can get a bit of space from your parents whilst you are on holiday this week. Take care and post whenever you feel the need xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

martha
Posts: 2192
Joined: 13 Mar 2010 11:28
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by martha » 24 Jul 2019 18:14

Glad your ok, REL, but that does sound an awful situation with your dad. I'm sorry things are so difficult for you at home :(
It's good your safe - I don't like the sound of you out and about walking late at night/all night. Do you have a friend you could call on/stay with at times like this should it happen again?
Like Shadow said, keep posting <:)>
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

User avatar
Shadowlad
Posts: 8030
Joined: 18 Apr 2014 16:01
Last Drink Date: 28 Dec 2012
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Shadowlad » 29 Oct 2019 12:52

Bump x
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

User avatar
Neal
Posts: 2173
Joined: 12 Jul 2009 12:45
Last Drink Date: 31 Dec 2019
First Sober Date: 01 Jan 2020
Location: Central Scottishland
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Neal » 16 Jan 2020 21:26

Nano-wobble.
Got back from mediatation class and BH had smell of nicotine on her breath - she's back on the cigarettes so I momentarily think, "Might as well get a drink then..." and quickly booted it into touch. Will need to watch with the weekend looming - that thought could snowball.
Hopefully, I can meditate it out. In fact, I will meditate it out.
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

Spats
Posts: 4910
Joined: 03 Sep 2017 15:12
Last Drink Date: 24 Dec 2018
First Sober Date: 25 Dec 2018
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by Spats » 16 Jan 2020 22:26

Good going neal :\:

User avatar
SoberBoots
Posts: 5228
Joined: 08 May 2017 16:19
Last Drink Date: 08 May 2017
Contact:

Re: The Wobble Board

Post by SoberBoots » 16 Jan 2020 22:34

Ride it out Neal. Getting sober's all about your and your journey, after all. Meditation sounds like a greta idea.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Post Reply