The Wobble Board

[Lennylenny]

Yer good, got to go back to work tommorow , bricking it!

[Mountainhare]

Can you find a way of taking a week off? Might be a good investment in your sobriety.

[Vornec]

Another really good day... at work.

Still bummin’ about the state of my marriage but I gotta focus on the good. I used to drink away the loneliness, but now I just focus harder on the kids, and they’re all getting to pretty good ages where we can just be around each other and it’s easy, rewarding, and fun. I miss my kids while I am work, I can’t leave my wife and split time with her and go days without them!

But our marriage sucks for me. We have been to counseling (with some success) but it turns out we are just two different people. Nothing wrong with her at all, just different. I need more out of a relationship and I am not talking about the bedroom. She told me in December after a fight that she was not the right person for me and I backpedalled hard to get her to stop talking like it’s over, which I think it is.

I just can’t stand the thought of living without my children. Not even for a day. I even love our family together, my wife in it. I just want her to be different, which isn’t fair to either of us. I am an extrovert. She is an introvert. I am tidy, she likes messy. She love’s relaxing, I like constant activity. She loves movies, I fall asleep. She doesn’t like my family. I love hers. But... We travel great together. We make good plans and do pretty well sticking to them. We both love our story and our children. She’s a great cook when she wants to be. Many other attributes, of course....

I just don’t know what to do. I am stuck in the world of “not that bad” and I would have to give up so much just for a chance of better, risking utter loneliness. On the other hand, we both have needs that aren’t getting met.

Just gotta suck it up and deal I guess.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

-Vornec

[Lennylenny]

I was same as you, we just didn’t love each other, then we made the break and I found the person who is right for me. Kids are so resilient, after a few tears and dramas they get used to there parents splitting, you may not think it but they sense unhappiness and can see when things just aren’t right,

[Cowboy]

Hey permission thoughts! f**k you. Just because I am in a good mood and am feeling really good about myself and life in general doesn't mean there's any room in here for you !!! Take a hike. I don't need you or your visits here anymore. I have better things to consider. B-bye.

[Shadowlad]

Hi Cowboy Well said ! I used to have very stern words with any permission thoughts and its surprising how speaking those out loud actually strengthens resolve and kicks the thoughts out. Take care and its great you are here, ever fighting and not giving up !

[Shadowlad]

Its crazy isn't it. My most wobbly times often came when really happy. There is no rhyme or reason that i can think of but at least being aware of it adds a bit of protection x

[Jj123]

Hi cowboy sounds like you are telling them where to go. I always feel more tempted when happy too. Years of celebration =reward =alcohol. You’ve got this keep digging deep. On your side.
JJ

[Tai]

Yep, you kick those thoughts into touch Cowboy. Tomorrow you’ll be so very glad you hung on in there.

[Trina]

Thanksgiving Day, and I'm having those holiday wobbles, thinking about holidays past where my kids were both home, guests were due to arrive, the whole house felt festive. On those days we would start with mimosas in the morning, move on to wine, and pretty much spend the day drinking. On the one hand, I DO NOT want to do that today. I am really happy waking up sober every day and going to bed at night with no regrets (no regrets about drinking, that is!). But on the other hand, I miss those holidays - I know I shouldn't, there is really nothing to miss, but just being honest here.

Of course, the holidays are different this year because of covid, no big gatherings, just doing a low-key Thanksgiving with my son and his girlfriend, who are staying with me for a couple of months. They used to drink beer and cider, but seem to have stopped totally since I saw them last, so that has been very helpful in my quest to remain sober.

I guess I need to do the "play the tape forward" thing, think about what today would be like if I did drink all day, think about how disappointed in myself I would be as soon as I started. Bottom line is, I am not going to drink, just wish I didn't want to!

Trina

[Mark.]

Yes, play the tape forward, Trina - excellent idea It's always too easy to think of the early drinks but forget about the blackouts, hangovers etc. that follow.

Well done for posting your thoughts - I think that putting them down in writing also helps.

I hope you all have a lovely and very sober Thanksgiving

[Trina]

Thanks Mark,

I got up, got dressed, had a strong cup of coffee, and am feeling more like my sober self! Drinking would most definitely not improve anything.

Trina

[Mountainhare]

Glad your wobble has passed Trina.

I love the idea behind Thanksgiving.

We should have a Thanks giving every morning we awake sober

Have a great holiday

Hi Mark

[Trina]

Just finished Thanksgiving dinner and I have to say, today was not easy! But I got through it sober, and I'm thankful for that.

Trina

[pickles]

Happy thanksgiving, Trina . Sorry you had a wobble but glad you got through it

[Mark.]

Just finished Thanksgiving dinner and I have to say, today was not easy! But I got through it sober, and I'm thankful for that.

Nice one, Trina! Well done

Hi MH and Pickles

[Sandy]

I love the idea behind Thanksgiving.

We should have a Thanks giving every morning we awake sober

True words MH
Great you stopped the wobble TRINA well done

[SoberBoots]

Well done Trina

[Chineseeyes]

I’m really worried about the festivities coming up! It’s usually a time where I’ll make myself ill due to drinking to much!

[Trina]

Sticking close to BE can really help. I was feeling very tempted over Thanksgiving, but came on here, posted, read other people's posts, and got through the holiday sober. You can do that too!

Trina