General Support and Chat

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Stewart46
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Stewart46 »

Thanks Topcat, positive comments like yours really help me when I'm a bit low. But yeah I'm definitely going to stay sober. My wife doesn't drink alcohol and says I sound like a parrot when I say I'm not drinking anymore but I know from previous attempts it is small steps at first.

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Jake.
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Jake. »

Well done for making the first step Stewart. You’ve recognised that there’s a problem and i don’t think any of us gained sobriety on the first attempt. Keep going and you’ll get there! Good luck


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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots »

Hey Stewart, sorry to hear that - you must be feeling rotten. I remember falling in the road outside my house once and being unable to get up - eventually I crawled in on hands and knees. The next morning I was battered, bruised and humiliated, and I'd ruined my favourite boots (I still miss those). I didn't stop drinking straight away, but it one of a number of things that gradually weighted the seesaw in favour of sobriety, until not too long after I started to recognise that alcohol no longer added anything to my life, that I was trapped, I needed help and I needed to find my way to freedom. Which is a long way of saying that these awful experiences can be useful to us. Something that really helped me was Allen Carr's the Easy Way - the are therapits and workshops, but for me it was working my way through the self help book that helped me to an essential mindshift. Worth a try?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Stewart46
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Stewart46 »

Thanks Soberboots, I do feel awful just now as I'm now laid up in pain, guilt, shame etc. I've let my wife and son down again which hurts me deeply. But yeah just need to stay positive and get alcohol out my life for good. I will try the book as I like reading.

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap »

One of the hardest things to accept is the thought of never drinking again. It's scary Stewart but it passes and then you start a life without it. The thing that got me through the cravings was keeping a full tummy. Lots of sickly food. I'm 3 years without drink this week and don't crave it at all. It's those first few weeks where we are most vulnerable. You will get through them. Read the book SB has recommended . It will really help. Best wishes

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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots »

Luckychap wrote:
06 Feb 2022 22:30
One of the hardest things to accept is the thought of never drinking again. It's scary Stewart but it passes and then you start a life without it. The thing that got me through the cravings was keeping a full tummy. Lots of sickly food. I'm 3 years without drink this week and don't crave it at all. It's those first few weeks where we are most vulnerable. You will get through them. Read the book SB has recommended . It will really help. Best wishes
Wow LC - three years! That is awesome!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap »

Thanks SB not as good as 5 like your amazing self 😀😀😀

Stewart46
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Stewart46 »

Thanks luckychap, 3 years is brilliant. (::) well done. I managed around 8 months sober last year and felt great but stupidly thought I could have a drink just once in a while. You know on the odd special occasion :evil: Anyway I have ordered the book and I have eventually got in touch with a local support group today, so have got the ball rolling with that one.

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap »

That's great . you know you can do it. Sadly the stuff tricks us into thinking we can be like some of them folk that can take it or leave it. I'm all or none :D

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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots »

Well done Stewart. Moderation is a unicorn for most of us, but it can take a looong time to accept that! Good luck with Allen Carr. It's a programme you need to work through, stage by stage, rather than a book you read. I put myself through it twice in the end, (had a long stint sober after the first time, but then the unicorn got me). With the support of BE, I've been sober ever since that second go. I'm so pleased you're going to a support group too.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

I just want to say a huge thank you for the great posts all across the BE support forum. The quality, helpfulness and positivity of replies is incredible and I want to state how much I appreciate the difference you make 🙏
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

ScarletB
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by ScarletB »

Vertical man, I second that message of thanks. This site is a grounding force for me. Even when I can’t think of anything to contribute, I am often reading. I appreciate the meaningful conversations here.

Stewart46
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Stewart46 »

Yeah I agree, I read a lot more than I post and I've had loads of support which I'm hugely thankful for.

xxxkateyxxx
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by xxxkateyxxx »

I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for all you amazing people on here. I don't post very often but I read a few times a day. This helped me stay sober at a party at the weekend. I even poured away 2 drinks given to me by drunks friends.
Thank you all so much for giving me strength I definitely didn't believe I had <:)>

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

Bright Eye has really made a difference for me.

Thanks to Tobin for setting it up, and to all here for your sharing and support.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

Stewart46
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Stewart46 »

Hi all, I've been a bit up and down today, I'm off my work just now due to an injury from my last drinking episode but I've still been getting out for some exercise even though its been pretty wild. I have a few other family issues going on so it is quite a hard time at the moment. Staying positive and I know drinking would just make things worse. <:)>

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Drank a lot yesterday.
Storms blew down the fence we had built between us and neighbour which has really stressed me as we don’t get on with her. No excuse to drink I know but just wanted to numb my anxiety. Well this morning still arrives and the anxiety is still there.
Also we are having some indoor building work starting this week, which will take several weeks. My wife loves project managing this type of thing: I’m not fussed at all, which again is not helping my stress.
Sorry for such a negative post: just wanted to get some of this feeling out of me and writing here helps.

Love and peace to everyone.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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Mark.
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mark. »

Don't worry about any 'negativity', Steve. Admitting and talking about your worries, rather than bottling them up, can be a first step towards reducing anxiety.

I'm sorry you drank at the weekend, but I can understand why, given the weather, relations with your neighbour, and the impending building work.

There's no way round it, mate - you know how hangovers increase anxiety, so today might well feel a bit shit! But hang in there, because you also know that your mood can only improve the longer you stay sober.

Maybe try to use some of today to research ways to deal with anxiety that you think might work for you. I know myself how debilitating anxiety can be. Alcohol is always a temptation but it never helps. I don't know that there is a perfect answer for anyone, but I do find that things like walking, long baths, and music help distract me and allow me some mental rest for a while. For me, it's been a case of learning to remember to try these when I'm stressed, rather than reaching for the bottle.

Again, I'm sorry Sunday wasn't great, Steve, but I hope that posting about it is the first step towards creating a better and more positive week ahead ;)? <:)>
"There was a house we all had in common and it was called the past, even though we'd lived in different rooms."

221b for the 2022 Challenge, including Sundays.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Thank you Mark 🙏 Your empathy really shows.
I have posted on the To Do Lists and know I heed to focus on positive aspects of my life: I have many but can tend to forget.
The Black Dog is always a part of my history indeed my life, and sometimes I just have to walk beside it for a bit but not allow it to take control.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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