General Support and Chat

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Luna_
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luna_ »

Mark - cross-post <:)>
Yepp - a start is a start. I got fascinated with all the reports on Everest. How people queue up in a massive congo-line to reach what used to be the world's most isolated spot but now is a garbage heap and the ultimate selfie-spot.

I watched a video of people stuck behind other people - taking one slow, tortured step after another.
And I think of our AF journeys.

It really is one step at a time. I have no ambition to crowd a mountain top - but I have my own personal Everest. Which in a nutshell is to become happy, achieve what I can of my goals - and above all, just be a good mom that my kids can think about with pride, preferably while I am still alive ;)?

So the below is what I was writing while you were posting...

*****

I think about this sometimes.. We all turned to alcohol for some reason, concious or not concious.

Loneliness
Stress
Unhappy relationships
Unfulfilled dreams/ambitions
Underlying issues about our pasts - or futures
PTSD (many here are battling this, myself included)

and a myriad of other reasons. Sometimes there just is no reason.
And when we get hooked - we just drink because we drink. :(

I am so grateful for the BE community where we can discuss issues most of us never can in RL - or at least only in limited forms.

Thanks BE for being my rock - I joined in the beginning of 2011 (under another name - I do wish I could merge my accounts, it was a potential stalking issue that made me make a new user profile)

(::) to BE
:\: to all members - especially new ones. Please feel free to join in. You are so welcome <:)>
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Thank you for the positive and supportive posts, and personal messages. They meant a great deal; believe me!

I have calmed down in what is a very emotive subject for me and will try and apply one of life’s greatest pieces of writing: “Serenity to accept the things I cannot change: Courage to change the things I can: and Wisdom to know the difference.”

My thanks again.

Steve.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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martha
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by martha »

I'm pleased you've come back, VM :\:
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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Jake.
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Jake. »

Great to see you back VM.

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Topcat
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Topcat »

Great to see you Steve <:)>
#5 on the 2022 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Mark.
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mark. »

Fab to have you back with us, Steve ;)?
"There was a house we all had in common and it was called the past, even though we'd lived in different rooms."

221b for the 2022 Challenge, including Sundays.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Thank you all 👍
All forums should have a Mark 👏👏👏
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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Luna_
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luna_ »

VM - ditto from me - glad to see you back, man <:)>

Actually I just popped in here this morning because I was clearing my mailbox of the daily spam I just can't seem to remove (clicking unsubscribe just makes it worse - then they know it's a live address..).

But anyway - I likely got this as I was goodling a lot of management-type of sites (management both of teams and of yourself). And this morning came a reminder to practice daily gratitude.

It's so easy to get lost in the poor-me, it's not fair stuff (I have got elbowed out of where I wanted to be in our company - but now I have suddenly gone from being a likely candidate to being considered too old now to take on new challenges :shock:
So poor me - pour me was a high risk

But a daily gratitude reflection really does help.
Today I am grateful that my son will come back to me after school. It means there will be no temptation to relapse - he absolutely hates alcohol and gave me an ultimatum during my last relapse which scared the bejeezus out of me.
I am grateful that I have a very friendly cat who seems happy to spend her life with me as her central focal point.
I am grateful to have a job - which is more interesting than standing at a checkout going beeep beeep (even this human interaction is being phased out these days...)
I am grateful to be solvent, that I am quite frugal in general, such that I can do up my house here and there without another huge re-mortgage.

Heck - I'm grateful to be alive and not have a terminal illness.

I agree VM - that serenity prayer is quite profound. We poo-poo it (and I used to cringe having to say it, holding hands with a bunch of strangers at a meeting - or digitally) but all the same. It says it all.

Best to all today ;)?
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

I'm two weeks in- day 16, in fact.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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Topcat
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Topcat »

Mudbucker wrote:
22 Nov 2021 11:32
I'm two weeks in- day 16, in fact.
Well done - that's terrific (::)

I've always liked the serenity prayer. Not a particularly religious person, but it just says it all for me and hits the spot as it were.
#5 on the 2022 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Luna_
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luna_ »

Well done Mudbucker \:)/
Keep at it and keep posting on BE - it helps!
;)?
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

Thanks guys- I'm still finding my way around the place, but will keep in touch here!
Topcat wrote:
22 Nov 2021 11:58
I've always liked the serenity prayer. Not a particularly religious person, but it just says it all for me and hits the spot as it were.
I think I had my fill of religion at the front end of my life, and may be untangling the mess for the rest of it! Request to God aside though, that prayer is actually based on some very sound logic. Keep trying to make the garden look nice, give up digging that hole to China! :lol2:
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots »

Really pleased you're back Steve.
Luna, I know that meh feeling! I'm very prone to the getting-everything-out-to-tidy stage - and then not doing the actual tidying, sorting etc.
Mudbucket, good to see you.
I'm just back from a fabulous few days away - all blustery beach walks and excellent lunches.
Hello to Mark, Jake, Martha, TC and anyone else I've missed scrolling through!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

I'm back to day one, but looking forward to more, and better, sobriety.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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pickles
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by pickles »

Well done for getting back on the forum , Mudbucker <:)>




As for ogrish, on yer bike !

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

pickles wrote:
24 Nov 2021 14:38
Well done for getting back on the forum , Mudbucker <:)>
Thank you, pickles! I've a lot of catching up to do, but I'm already finding the forum helpful. Hopefully I'll be able to contribute something positive, too.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Funny how this thing works!
Felt really positive earlier when donating two wine-racks to a charity shop. 10 minutes later I’m queuing in a post office/store and feeling tempted whilst standing next to the wine/beer section.
Just having a cuppa at home and getting my head round this!
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots »

Welcome back Mudbucker. The thing to do with relapses is to examine what happened and figure out what lessons you can learn so it doesn't happen again.

VM, sounds like you applied the message of your signature line and dodged a bullet! Random drinking urges are to be expected - they lessen, over time. The great thing to remember is that thoughts and urges don't have to lead to action.

For both of you, I suggest doing some thinking about relapse prevention - this is very often about working on building coping skills, self-care, and building a new sober life. Have a look at the stages of relapse model, I didn't relate to it when I first saw it but now find it really useful.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Vertical Man
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Vertical Man »

Thank you SB and will definitely do what you suggest.

Just googled ‘stages of relapse’ and found really helpful, powerful and insightful stuff. Thank you again SB 🙏
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”
Viktor E. Frankl.

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Mudbucker
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Mudbucker »

SoberBoots wrote:
25 Nov 2021 22:52
Have a look at the stages of relapse model, I didn't relate to it when I first saw it but now find it really useful.
Thank you- it's the first I've heard of that, so I will read up on it later today!
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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