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General Support and Chat

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silvergirl
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by silvergirl » 25 Dec 2019 23:26

Ack, sounds pretty rotten for you winkler. :roll: A common trait in drinkers tho, and I know what you mean about your tolerance for them being lessened, I feel the same way about my habitual drunkard acquaintances nowadays. Sorry if you’ve had a bit of a pants day. <:)>

The comment made to me did make me wryly laugh though, she’s not someone I particularly want to spend time with anyway so I don’t care if she doesn’t want the company of sober people. But, yes, the sentiment behind it is screwed up thinking. Drinkers are screwed up people though, hey?! :| :?

Anyway, hope you’re alright, chin up lovely.

sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Winkler
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Winkler » 26 Dec 2019 04:50

Dogs have woken me up! Thanks SG, for for your support.

He and I now have very different attitudes towards drinking.
We are also parents, the youngest being 16 and it was OHs attitude to youngest drinking yesterday that really wound me up.
Youngest nearly fell asleep in his Xmas dinner - we’d been for drinks but then OH gave him more beer when we got home - I was furious

Usually I can avoid confrontation but what happens longer term when the kids have gone? I don’t know if it’s resolvable actually, I don’t know whether either of us are prepared to compromise which will potentially make for a different future than I imagined was coming.

I don’t see alcohol as being different to any other drug now and I don’t want to be around him using.
Alcohol is an addictive poison

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silvergirl
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by silvergirl » 26 Dec 2019 09:58

Yeah those are all good things to ponder I guess. :? Time will tell... Keeping yourself sane in the meantime sounds like your priority, letting him make his own choices and you making yours. Detaching emotionally whilst still together. Difficult situation though, and when it’s there in your face and affecting others you care about the temptation to explode must be high. :evil:

Hope today is better for you. Have you got plans or is it more of the same?! Take yourself out for a walk if need be? I popped out late afternoon for a wee wander, the light was going and it was a bit foggy and still, very quiet and made me listen to nature. I don’t do that enough I think, just being mentally still. :geek:

Cheers,
sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Winkler
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Winkler » 26 Dec 2019 12:02

Thanks SG
I just had a meditate - think it does a similar kind of thing as walking in nature :)
We had a throw of some verbal stuff around - he called me a grinch and thought I wanted him to give up drinking, not the case, just moderate it round me!
I told him straight that longer term when we hopefully have more time to have nicer holidays etc together without kids, I don’t want to do it or live with him being a sad old drunk basically and how we could divvy up our stuff going forward if he wants to go down that route.

I also said he’s got worse with his drinking and I don’t think he can moderate any more - I’m not entirely sure that’s the case but hey the gauntlets thrown down and he can blimmin well chew it over and clean his act up if he wants to keep me (like I’m any catch really haha but hey let’s call his bluff!)

Feel better now, thank you 😊 :)
Alcohol is an addictive poison

Itsnowornever
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Itsnowornever » 27 Dec 2019 13:59

Hi guys

After some advice feeling a bit rough not from drink still staying sober! But think Iv had a touch of flu have been vaccinated but can’t seem to get my strength and energy back just want to feel normal again. Any tips for getting my energy back ???

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Wilson
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Wilson » 27 Dec 2019 17:23

Red bull \:)/

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pickles
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by pickles » 27 Dec 2019 19:56

Porridge with a few blueberries for breakfast ... bananas , short walks , early to bed if possible. Sunlamp maybe ... if it doesn’t get any better , go back to your GP .
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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pickles
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by pickles » 27 Dec 2019 20:15

' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap » 28 Dec 2019 17:35

Some folk will recall I had an awful year with depression and anxiety due to a work issue. The two folk involved that didn't want to work with me have seen how I am with my staff and how supportive I am and have since told other members of the team that they wished they worked for me!! Also, my own manager has now confessed that their behaviors are apalling. I wish she had said that back in April when I was in desperation. Anyhow, I move away from this team and away from those two in January so a new fresh start. When I told the people that work with me some of them cried. I got upset too!! Isn't it funny how things work out. I have not had a drink since Feb 4th but for some reason, feeling more cravings over Christmas and less fulfillment, as if something is lacking. It is my first one with for ma by years. Ooh forgot to say,, had some amazing and most caring support from lovely people on here when I was at my worst. Thank you x

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Shadowlad
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Shadowlad » 29 Dec 2019 13:34

Hi Luckychap, its lovely to read that you have been appreciated by at work, and even by those who affected you badly earlier in the year. How nice that you will be having a new start in January, i wish you well with that and hope it all goes well. :)
Luckychap wrote:
28 Dec 2019 17:35
I have not had a drink since Feb 4th but for some reason, feeling more cravings over Christmas and less fulfillment, as if something is lacking. It is my first one with for ma by years
This is so normal LC as it is a time of high pressure and alcohol is in our faces. Take care around New Year and the coming days after, as these are common times for cravings. You are doing great i hope you know ! ;)?
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap » 29 Dec 2019 14:36

Thanks shadowlad, that's really kind. A new start is something I can look forward too. I think you are right about the time of year and these funny days in between. Best wishes ;)?

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SoberBoots
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by SoberBoots » 29 Dec 2019 16:32

So good to hear from you LC, and great that the work situation resolved so well.
Re the cravings. it's not long till your one year anniversary, and that can can be a strange time both in the run up and shortly afterwards. It's a good time to really make sure that you pay attention to self-care - has anything slipped recently that you were doing to look after yourself, or is it time to find another outlet in some way?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap » 29 Dec 2019 22:15

Hi SB nice to hear from you too. Good spot on the things that have slipped. I had been tinkering on a project but busy work,helping others and caring responsibilities have taken over. I do think I need a bit of time to do something that's not a chore. Thanks for continued support sb. Always there for us all.

TrueState
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by TrueState » 01 Jan 2020 16:49

Luckychap wrote:
28 Dec 2019 17:35
Some folk will recall I had an awful year with depression and anxiety due to a work issue. The two folk involved that didn't want to work with me have seen how I am with my staff and how supportive I am and have since told other members of the team that they wished they worked for me!! Also, my own manager has now confessed that their behaviors are apalling. I wish she had said that back in April when I was in desperation. Anyhow, I move away from this team and away from those two in January so a new fresh start. When I told the people that work with me some of them cried. I got upset too!! Isn't it funny how things work out. I have not had a drink since Feb 4th but for some reason, feeling more cravings over Christmas and less fulfillment, as if something is lacking. It is my first one with for ma by years. Ooh forgot to say,, had some amazing and most caring support from lovely people on here when I was at my worst. Thank you x
Was so pleased to read this LC I remember how bad it was for you. Looking forward to being able to celebrate your 1year milestone in Feb!

Luckychap
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Luckychap » 01 Jan 2020 17:43

Aww thanks truestate. Really appreciate that lovely post. All the best to you x

Iroquois
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Iroquois » 02 Jan 2020 00:06

Hi LC and all!

Glad you are doing so well, LC, mostly everything always turns out ok in the end! Isn't that grand?

A lot of times, when we are in bad states of mind, others are cruel and hostile, mostly because they fear the emotions that live deep inside them! People that have inner strength, grace and empathy tend to help those in emotional need! But we are all both of those kinds of people sometime in our lives, so forgive and forget and let it be!

I think approaching the first year of sobriety, we sometimes get bored, or forget how awful it was being sick and out of control. Your old alcoholic brain is just trying to trick you into sabotaging yourself! Stay aware and keep the shields up!

I hope that we all have a great and AF year! 2020! Yea!

Deanna <:)> <:)> <:)>
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

sticky pudding toff
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by sticky pudding toff » 03 Jan 2020 22:10

I've just had two sober days. Hooray. Good luck to everyone trying to keep on the straight and narrow.

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Ed
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Ed » 04 Jan 2020 09:57

Just reading through and a propos of bits of this thread, I have found that alcohol effects virtually all aspects of life from health, money, work, friends, family, diet, exercise, hobbies, mental health. It's insidious, even the good things that you can hold on to it reduces the value. Getting sober is tough in itself as it's an addiction and the problems that we have created for ourselves, mostly through drinking, are easier to face, ironically, with a drink. I think most drinkers are like this. Correct me if I'm wrong. When we quit and we have given ourselves some time to start healing mentally and physically, which is actually unfortunately quite a long time, we are still left with this room full of junk to sort out - fix your diet, fix your soured relations, fix your underwhelming work life, pay off your debts, eliminate the toxic, pick up your hobbies, start exercising. Some people have less to do than others I think but this a really common challenge - dealing with people you know and their relationship to alcohol and their opinion of you not drinking. I think it's really one of the strongest signs that you are winning when that no longer bothers you.
Enough time wasted on this.

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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Praejw » 08 Jan 2020 16:35

Hi guys
Bit of an odd one but I've been AF for 8/9 days and I've noticed that my taste buds have become quite sensitive to salt in foods... Like to the point that it's disgusting. It's happened for a few days now and I wondered if anyone else has experienced this or something else strange and unexpected?

Praejw x

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: General Support and Chat

Post by Jjjj of Old » 08 Jan 2020 17:23

Praejw wrote:
08 Jan 2020 16:35
Bit of an odd one but I've been AF for 8/9 days and I've noticed that my taste buds have become quite sensitive to salt in foods... Like to the point that it's disgusting. It's happened for a few days now and I wondered if anyone else has experienced this or something else strange and unexpected?
Not an odd one at all, Praejw! In the past, I've also experienced excessive salt-sensitivity after going AF. Usually, it's just a passing phase caused by any one or more of a small number of factors. Speaking as a non-doctor, I'd put my experience down to two factors:

i) A general reawakening of physical sensations such as taste that had become dimmed by excessive intake of alcohol over a long period of time. I've experienced the same after quitting cigarettes: after you quit, your taste buds become clean again, no longer varnished with tobacco (or booze), and your nose opens up again. You taste and smell everything in (less than) glorious Technicolor. At first, this can seem pretty unbearable, until your senses adjust and return to the levels they should be in a normal non-drinker/smoker.

ii) Perhaps more importantly: dehydration. When we quit drinking alcohol, we sometimes forget to drink as much AF fluids as we actually need. That might sound contradictory at first, given that alcohol itself dehydrates us. However, when I've quit drinking in the past, my liquid consumption has sometimes gone from the astronomical (ten beers in an afternoon, for example) to the very minimal (four cups of coffee throughout the whole day).

This wasn't something I noticed at first. It didn't feel abnormal that I went from piling litres of beer into my body to drinking hardly anything at all. But, having read more about it, I tried to make sure I kept better hydrated and it really made a beneficial difference. The NHS recommends 1.2 litres of water per day, and our own Newt is particularly helpful on the subject of hydration.

After a lengthy period of excessive drinking, our bodies are usually left in a state of dehydration (as well as malnourished, often deficient in B vitamins, and so on). But this is all fairly easily fixed, so it might be worth looking into?

As I say, in my experience, sensations such as unusual sensitivity to saltiness should pass quite quickly, and I'm sure they will for you too. Keep an eye on these symptoms - if they persist or become unbearable, you could ask a GP about them. There are other conditions that can cause the same thing. However, the fact that you are experiencing this so soon after quitting alcohol would suggest that it probably is due simply to your body readjusting and your senses reawakening. And, like I say, I think in my case it had a lot to do with making sure I was properly hydrated during the first few weeks after quitting. Proper hydration helps the whole brain and body recover in every way.

I hope that helps! Hopefully, someone with greater medical knowledge than me might also have some suggestions ;)?

Best wishes,
Mark
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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